


"I'll Be There"

by macattack102712



Category: JAG
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-12
Updated: 2018-08-12
Packaged: 2019-06-26 11:34:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 103,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15662424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/macattack102712/pseuds/macattack102712
Summary: Mac gets devastating news regarding her beloved Uncle Matt. Her JAG family must come together to get her through the hardest trial of her life. In the process, she learns the tremendous gift and power that comes with letting love in.





	1. "I'll Be There"  Chapter One

Title: "I'll Be There"  
Author: Macattack102712, aka "Mac Mackenzie"  
Publish Date: Original Publish date: August 2002, redone 2017/2018.  
Pairing: Harm/Mac  
Category: Romance/Angst  
Summary: Mac gets devastating news regarding her beloved Uncle Matt. Her JAG family must come together to get her thru the hardest trial of her life. In the process, she learns the tremendous gift and power that comes with letting love in.

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, the wonderful characters of JAG do not belong to me.

Author's Note: Well fans, it has been 15 long years since I first posted my one and only (at that time) fanfiction story, titled, "I'll Be There". I was 16 and had lots of free time on my hand. Then I hit 18 and my life changed considerably: work, college, moving twice (including to another state), marriage, and now graduate school. Suffice it to say I have just rediscovered my love of writing fanfiction. I also recently came across my old JAG binder with a bunch of stories, some completed, others not. Among the several WIP was this one. After much consideration, I have decided to do a major revision on this series. The plot will remain the same, but I have added a lot of new scenes and improved the dialogue so hopefully it will flow better. Mind you, I started writing this series on FF.net when I was 15 and was posted under my other penname, MacMackenzie, so if you have read it before and thought it was incredibly shitty, all I can do is blame it on my teenage years ha!

**Timeframe: Everything is written in standard military time. This story takes place sometime between S4 and S7 Neither Mic nor Renee exist for a variety of purposes.

1600  
JAG Headq  
Falls Church, VA  
Mac's Office

Mac was busy signing her name to an enormous stack of papers piled on her desk when Petty Officer Jason Tiner, her Commanding Officer's yeoman, came over the intercom of her phone.

"Ma'am, I'm sorry to interrupt, but the Admiral wants to see you in his office immediately."

Mac set her pen to the side and shut the file she was looking at. "Thank you Tiner. Tell him I am on my way".

"Aye aye, ma'am" he replied, ending the connection. 

Mac smiled with a shake of her head. PO Tiner was a fine yeoman and had recently been accepted into her alma mater law school. For the past several months, Mac had been mentoring him in preparing for his application exam, and had even written a letter of recommendation to the school on his behalf. There was not a doubt in her mind that, following a few years of experience, he would be one of JAG's finest lawyers. If there was one thing she loved more in life than finding success herself, it was seeing those that she loved and cared about be successful in their own endeavors.

She rose from her chair and strode out into the bullpen in the direction of the Admiral's office. As usual, there was the constant buzz of activity as people scurried about, working on their various assigned duties. Phones rang in the background, fax machines whirred, and Mac took a strange type of comfort in the noise. She had never felt so home in all her life than at JAG Headquarters. The office that belong to her partner, Lt Commander Harmon Rabb, was unoccupied, lights off and blinds shut. 'Looks like someone already secured early for the day,' she thought to herself. While waiting for Tiner to announce her presence, it occurred to her that it was rather odd that the Admiral would request her at such a late time in the day. It was, after all, almost time to go home. Whatever the reason, Mac had a feeling it wasn't a good one. After hearing the gruff 'Enter' coming from his office, she entered and immediately came to attention before him.

"At ease, Colonel, have a seat," Chegwidden dismissed her formality. 

Mac relaxed her stance and sat down in one of the plush leather chairs in front of his desk. He handed the file folder he had been looking at prior to her entrance. 

"It seems there has been an incident aboard the USS Patrick Henry involving a F-14. No fatalities, luckily, but the SecNav is none too happy over nearly losing a $40 million-dollar aircraft and endangering the crew aboard the carrier. Not to mention the pilot, Commander West, has now been grounded until the investigation can be conducted. The SecNav wants Rabb out there ASAP to investigate".

Mac nodded in understanding, taking the case file from his outstretched hand. She briefly thumbed thru the notes before turning her attention back to him. "Sir, with all due respect, why is the SecNav so upset over this particular incident? I mean, it's not the first time a pilot has almost ditched an aircraft in the drink".

A wry smile passed over AJ's face as he realized that Mac's comment contained an unspoken reference to one infamous pilot-turned-lawyer and his knack for disposing of multi-million dollar aircraft. "Well, Colonel, it wouldn't be as big a deal as it is if it weren't for the fact that the pilot in question, Commander West, just so happens to be the SecNav's nephew". He dropped his pen on his desk and rubbed his forehead. He could already feel a headache coming on.

"Oh shi-…I mean, dear…." Mac stumbled, barely correcting her language, a motion that made AJ chuckle.

"I had the same reaction, Colonel. 'Oh shit' is exactly right".

For the first time since they had been partnered together, Mac did not envy Harm for being given the opportunity to handle such an incredibly high-profile case. But Rabb was the best of the best, especially when it came to aircraft and pilot mishaps. She sighed. "No wonder he wanted Rabb on the investigation".

AJ continued, pinching the bridge of his nose as he spoke. "The SecNav wants Rabb out there ASAP to investigate the incident. West is under investigation for destruction of property and negligence manning an aircraft. I am sending Commander Turner with him. Both are scheduled to leave via helo tonight from Norfolk. I am wanting them to get this cleared up and soon so I can get one very pissed SecNav off my back. Rabb will be defending and Turner will be prosecuting". AJ paused for a moment, hitting the call button to his yeoman on his phone.

"Yes sir?" Tiner answered.

"Tiner, get me the departure time of Rabb and Turner and instruct them to contact me the moment they step foot on that carrier. God knows I will need to follow this case like a Russian heat-seeking missile on a Tomcat," AJ ordered. Mac looked at him with sympathy.

"Aye Aye sir," Tiner responded before the line went dead.

She knew that her caseload was about to increase exponentially, something that she was not particularly looking forward to seeing as she was already buried eyeballs deep in work, but it couldn't be helped. And, as the Admiral's Chief-of-Staff, picking up deadweight cases unfortunately fell under the job description tab that read, "Other Duties As Assigned".

AJ signed heavily. "As to be expected, Turner and Rabb's caseloads must be temporarily handled by someone else until they can wrap up this investigation. I have split Turner's cases between Singer and Roberts, but Rabb's load is still on him. How full is your plate, Colonel?" he asked, gathering Harm's files from his desk tray.

"Well, the Leckherd case is coming along fine. I am ready for trial tomorrow. I have begun the preliminary discussions into the Richey mishap, and as far as the Dodd court-martial is concerned, I expect that to be finished at the end of the week, sir". Mac took the files from his outstretched hand and noted with a slight feeling of dread that, based on the weight of the stack, there were several cases that would need her attention immediately. Oh well, it would do no good to complain and they were already stretched thin. It was an unspoken expectation that when the deck was full, everyone was expected to pitch in. She balanced the stack of files on her lap. "I'll be able to handle Rabb's until he can return".

"That's fine Colonel. The SecNav wants this closed and in the can as quickly as possible. Are you sure you'll be able to handle both caseloads? I know you wouldn't do a job halfway, but this is quite a bit," AJ stated, studying her intently as she proceeded to mull it over.

Seeing as there really was no other option, Mac looked at the Admiral with determination in her eyes. This was the first real test of her abilities to handle a high caseload since her Admiral's Mast, and she was dead-set on not disappointing him. "I'm sure I'll manage it, sir. His clients will be represented equally and with the best I have to offer," Mac confirmed, chin up and eyes determined.

AJ considered her response for a moment before accepting her answer. "Very well Colonel. If you have any trouble, let me know right away, is that understood?" His tone gave no room for argument.

Mac rose to her feet and tucked the files under her arms. "Yes sir. Understood sir".

"Dismissed" he said at last and gave his attention back to the stack of papers in front of him as Mac came to attention and exited.

It was going to be a long week.

2000  
Mac's Apartment  
Georgetown, VA

It was well past 1900 when Mac finally left the office after reviewing the cases that the Admiral had reassigned her, and then she had to make a quick stop by the grocery store to get a few essentials, mainly coffee. That substance was liquid gold, and if today's meeting were any indicator, she was going to need a lot of it over the next few days.

'Riiiiiiiiiing! Riiiiiiiiiing!' Mac's phone buzzed incessantly in her coat pocket, but her hands were full with grocery bags, her cover, briefcase, and keys.  
"Hold on, hold on! Lemme get in the door!" she muttered to herself with an aire of frustration as she pushed open her apartment door. Yanking her keys out of the lock, she dropped the grocery sacks on the floor and fished for her cellphone buried in her coat pocket.  
"Hello?" she answered breathlessly as she shut the door behind her with her foot. She immediately toed off her heels, grateful to be out of the somewhat uncomfortable footwear for the evening.

"Is this Colonel Mackenzie?" the voice on the other line questioned.

Puzzled, Mac tossed her keys in the basket sitting on the nearby table before shrugging out of her coat. "May I ask who's calling, please?"

"I'm Chaplain Jake Gaines from Leavenworth Prison. I hate to disturb you at such a late hour, but it is important that I speak with you concerning your uncle, Colonel Matthew O'Hara".

Uneasiness suddenly quenched around Mac's heart as she took a seat on the sofa. She didn't like the sound in his voice. At all. Swallowing the lump that had suddenly risen in her throat, she confirmed her identity. "This is Colonel Mackenzie. Is something wrong with my uncle?"

"Colonel Mackenzie, there are two parts I hate about my job at Leavenworth. One is telling a person that their relative has passed away. The second is telling someone that their loved one is going to die," Gaines replied.

Her stomach tightened. "Go on, please".

"Ma'am, I'm going to be straightforward. Your uncle has been sick for several weeks now. We admitted him to the clinic for testing. I am very sorry to report that the results came back positive for stomach cancer. He has a very aggressive form. It is inoperable and untreatable. He has…deteriorated rapidly". Gaines hesitated, knowing that every word he spoke was like a knife in the gut of the person on the other end of the line. "I'm afraid…he may have a few months left, maybe 3. If he's lucky".

Mac was sure her heart had stopped beating at that moment. Cancer? It couldn't be! She had just visited him a month ago and he looked just fine! He even beat her at arm wrestling! Stunned and trying to register the words that had come across the line, she was quiet for several moments. This man had to be mistaken! "Excuse me, sir, and no offense meant, but are you sure you have the right Matthew O'Hara?"

Gaines bit his lip. "Yes, Colonel, I'm...I'm afraid I am. God only knows how much I wish I were wrong," Gains confirmed the worst. He really hated this part of the job, but because he served as the prison's chaplain, it was his responsibility to have to call inmate's families and deliver unwanted news. There were some inmate's families that couldn't care less what happened to their relatives, and that was certainly understandable in many cases, but in the five years that Matthew O'Hara had been an inmate at his prison, Gains had come to know him very well. In their many conversations on various subjects, he realized he had never encountered a more kind and intelligent individual. It was evident that while Matthew O'Hara had not made the wisest of decisions in his career, especially after stealing the Declaration of Independence, his heart had nonetheless been in the right place. And it was evident in the way that he spoke about his niece that he loved her very, very much. Although Gains had not met Mac in person, Matthew had showed him her picture and beamed with pride every time he talked about her. Gains felt that, in a way, he knew her, which made this phone call all the more unbearable.

Sighing heavily, he continued. "They didn't think it was anything but a flu bug he caught from one of the other inmates. We've had several strains going through our facility right now. His physician said that as this is an aggressive cancer, it often does not cause the person to exhibit symptoms until the disease has progressed significantly. There is no telling how long he had this before he began showing symptoms."

Fighting back tears, Mac asked with a shaky breath, "I understand. When can I come see him? I'm not allowed another visit for at least 6 weeks."

"Colonel, I need you out here as soon as possible. Leavenworth allows terminally ill inmates with a good behavior record and with a life expectancy of 6 months or less to live their remaining days at home with family. We can discuss his living arrangements once you arrive. Hopefully we will work out what's best for the both of you". Gaines added.

Mac nodded in understanding although Gains could not see this gesture. "I will be there on the first flight I can get out. May I be allowed to speak with him?"

"I'm sorry Colonel, but he is getting some much-needed rest," he explained. "Nobody knows how hard it is to call people like this until they have to do it".

"It's understandable, Chaplain”. It was all Mac could do to keep the tears at bay long enough to get through the phone call. "I will call you as soon as I land. Thank you, sir, and goodnight".

"I will be anticipating your call, then. Goodnight Colonel," he said before the line went dead.

Mac hit the 'end' button on her phone and set it on the coffee table. The reality of it all hit her like a ton of bricks. She was going to lose her uncle, the one person who meant the most to her. 

'Besides Harm,' the little voice in her head added. 

The tears finally came as she tried hard not to imagine what life would be like without him. She looked so forward to each visit, and his letters always managed to bring a smile to her face, even on the most difficult of days. Aside from her JAG coworkers, he was the only person who treated her like she was worth something. Then another realization hit Mac. Work! What was she going to do about her caseload? It was already a skeleton crew at headquarters, and the Admiral couldn't afford to be down another lawyer. 'I have to talk with him tonight and let him know what's happened,' she said to herself. With a sigh resignation, she grabbed her keys and left her apartment to make the fifteen-minute drive to the Admiral's home.

2030 Harm's Apartment  
North of Union Station

Harm hung up his phone with a sigh as he tried for the third time to reach Mac, to no avail. It went straight to voicemail, and he didn't want to leave a third message. Due to the hectic pace of the events that had unfolded that day, he unfortunately didn't get a chance to see her before either of them secured for the afternoon. He had spent most his time with Turner reviewing the preliminary reports on the Patrick Henry incident, and they were scheduled to fly out at 2130. The Admiral had informed them that their caseloads were being divided up among Singer, Roberts, and Mac. Harm felt guilty because he knew she was carrying a difficult load this week with just her cases, and it was in her nature to not ask for help when she really needed it.

'I just hope she doesn't wear herself out,' he thought to himself as he rooted through the fridge for something to eat. His stomach was rumbling and because of the late hour, most of the local eateries were already closed. He removed a plate with a half-eaten slice of pizza, no doubt a forgotten remnant from their late-night case review the previous week. With a look of disgust, he immediately dumped the rancid food in the garbage can, smiling as he thought only she would eat food with a quart of grease on it. "That's my Marine," he chuckled. He paused the moment he said it aloud. 

'Wait a minute, my Marine? Where did that come from?'

"Jeez Rabb, this F-14 crash really has you wired. Hell, you're even talking to yourself. One way ticket to the looney bin, that's for sure!" he chastised himself. It really had been a long day, and he was just tired. Yeah, that was it. Deciding that a frozen tv dinner was his only viable option for a late-night meal, he tossed it into microwave, set it for seven minutes and resorted to channel surfing while the entrée heated. He settled against the couch, trying to get comfortable, yet there was something missing. Frustrated, Harm reached behind him to rearrange the cushions but still, something just didn't feel right. He didn't realize the one thing missing, the one that would make it right, was Mac…

2030  
Somewhere on the Beltway  
Georgetown, VA

As Mac travelled down the highway, memories of her and Uncle Matt filled her head: images of him pushing her as a little girl on the tire swing in his front yard, working together on a dinosaur fossil, sharing an ice cream float at Borris' Drug Store, and hiking the trails at Red Rock Mesa. She allowed a small smile as she remembered the many times Uncle Matt had rocked her in his lap when she was sick or tired, always feeling secure with his loving arms wrapped around her. While her parents had never wanted a child to begin with, and made sure to tell her just as much, Uncle Matt made her feel like she was the center of his world and that she alone had hung all the stars in the sky. A lone tear traveled down her cheek as she realized what precious time they had left to spend together. He was her lifeline when all other ropes had been frayed or cut. He loved her like she was his own daughter and was there whenever she needed him, no matter what, no questions asked. And it went without saying that he was the very reason she was a successful Marine Corp JAG lawyer.

Following his incarceration, Mac had gone as often as she could to visit him whenever her hectic schedule would allow it. The Admiral was more than fair as he gave, at no additional expense to her, two extra days off during the Christmas and Thanksgiving holidays. It was a gesture that Mac deeply appreciated because it gave her more time to spend with him. She cherished every moment she had with her uncle. Just when she was managing to get her life in order, the most important man in her life was slowly being taken away from her.

-END OF CHAPTER ONE-  
TBC


	2. I'll Be There"

Title: “I’ll Be There” Chapter Two  
Author: Macattack102712, aka “Mac Mackenzie”  
Publish Date: Original Publish date: August 2002, redone and completed August 2017.  
Pairing: Harm/Mac  
Category: Romance/Angst  
Summary: Mac gets devastating news regarding her beloved Uncle Matt. Her JAG family must come together to get her thru the hardest trial of her life. In the process, she learns the tremendous gift and power that comes with letting love in.  
Disclaimer: Unfortunately, the wonderful characters of JAG do not belong to me.  
Author’s Note: *SEE CHAPTER ONE FOR INITIAL NOTES*  
I have always wanted to write a story about Mac and her Uncle Matt. He was, after all, the very reason she sobered up, joined the Corps, and made something of her life. I feel the writers really missed an opportunity to expound on the character of Colonel O’Hara. “We The People” was the episode when Harm and Mac first met, and it was quite clear that she was smitten with him from the moment they shook hands in the White House Rose Garden. And it was clear that she had his undying devotion when he put his career on the line for Colonel O’Hara. ☺

Now, just to clarify a few points:

1) I can’t remember when AJ appointed Mac as his Chief of Staff, but let’s assume it was done prior to the events in this story.  
2) I don’t go hardcore with technicalities when it comes to cases and investigations, so if the incident on the Henry seems a bit far-fetched, just go with it. Besides, the real focus is on Matt’s illness and how Mac is dealing with it.  
3) I have updated the universe just a bit, considering it’s been some 15 years since S4-S6 aired. Cellphones exist.  
4) While Chief PO Hodge was not diagnosed with MBP in the episode “Silent Service”, it was astoundingly clear that he had it. For a variety of reasons, I’m sure, the show decided not to address that.  
5) Don’t know if prisons allow terminally ill patients to live with loved ones, but let’s assume they do.  
6) As you read through the chapters, you’ll notice that I have repeated several phrases or gestures concerning the characters. I did that on purpose to show the underlying connections that exist not just with Harm and Mac, but Mac and AJ as well.  
7) And last, but certainly not least: The title of this series is inspired by a song of the same name. It was written and performed in the 80’s by The Escape Club as a tribute to a close friend who committed suicide. It is by far the most beautiful “in memorial” songs I have ever heard. Do yourself a favor and listen to it. ***

2045  
Admiral Chegwidden’s House  
McLean, VA.

Mac pulled her car into the Admiral’s driveway, parking it behind his black Escalade. She sat there for a moment, contemplating what she would say.

'The fifteen-minute drive should have given you enough time to figure out what to say, Mackenzie’ she lectured herself.

She dreaded having to tell her C.O. that she could not handle Harm’s caseload. Furthermore, she was at a total loss as to who would be able to pick up the slack during her absence. Mac knew she would be letting him down during a time when she was needed the most, a fact she intensely disliked. Ever since her ex-husband, Chris Ragle’s surprise appearance into her life and her subsequent trial for his murder: Mac felt she had struggled to regain the Admiral’s faith and trust in her. Thankfully, she had been exonerated due to a solid self-defense argument presented by Harm. Her affair, early in her career, with former C.O., John Farrow, had come to light, and certainly not helped matters. She had “paid her dues” for the charge, at her Admiral’s Mast, but was left unsure as to where she stood in his eyes. If she were the gambling type, she’d bet the farm that his opinion of her had not improved much. This assumption weighed heavily on her heart. While almost eighteen months had passed since that embarrassing debacle, Mac felt that AJ had given her no indication, until now, that he considered her competent enough to handle complicated cases.

She also had to give herself a moment to put on the mask of invincibility she’d carefully constructed over the years. Her mask was analogous to the buildings constructed during the infamous ‘Gilded Age’ of America. They stood tall and mighty on the outside, but they were rotting on the inside from neglect. And, in similar fashion, every bit of who Sarah Mackenzie appeared to be was nothing more than a false front. While she looked strong and confident on the outside, she was falling apart on the inside, her soul left to crumble to the tumultuous forces of her life. Her façade was an attempt to keep those around her, especially the Admiral, from seeing just how weak she really was. Mac had learned many hard lessons growing up, but if there was one lesson worth its salt, it was that weakness was a liability. The less she appeared vulnerable, the safer she was. Even wild animals knew not to demonstrate frailty or weakness if they wanted to avoid being another’s prey.

‘If people only knew how I feel sometimes’ she thought to herself.

She shut off the engine, pocketing the keys while opening the door of her Corvette. The wind blew with such ferocity that it nearly jerked the door out of her grasp. Stepping out of the sports car, she re-cinched the belt on her overcoat as the bitter November wind valiantly tried to match the coldness that had settled in her heart. Despite the bitter temperatures, Mac took her time walking the stone pathway to the Admiral’s home to postpone the disappointment she would undoubtedly bring. The wind picked up, causing the leaves to scatter around her feet and the trees to drop their acorns in response to the uncontrolled swaying of their branches. A full moon sat high in the pitch-black sky, occasionally blocked by fast-moving cloud coverage. Several raindrops spattered over her arm; a storm was on the horizon. 'How ironic’ she mused.

She traversed the short distance from the porch stairs to the door, taking several deep breaths along the way to calm her jittery nerves. With a slight tremble in her hand, she reached out to press the doorbell, the metal button cold against her fingertip. The doorbell softly chimed somewhere in the house, announcing her unplanned visit.

‘One……two……three…four’.

She counted the seconds with no response. The lights were on, that was obvious, but she detected no movement. Although his SUV was in the driveway, it gave no confirmation that he was, indeed, home. For a moment, Mac feared that he wasn’t. She contemplated pressing the doorbell again.

‘Five….six….seven…'.

Her anxiety jumped a notch and she just wanted to get this conversation over with so she could be on her way. She nervously chewed on her lower lip, tentatively reaching out to press the doorbell again. 'Eight…nine….ten…'. Moments later, footsteps approached the front door, the blinds pushed back slightly by the resident to gain visual approval. Then, a lock was turned, and panic suddenly wrapped around Mac’s heart at the sound. She felt like running away as fast as her legs would carry her. Before she could act on her impulse, the door opened, revealing a very surprised Admiral dressed in civvies.

Mac’s slender form was enveloped in the bright light spilling across the threshold from the living room. The phrase, “caught like a deer in headlights” was never more applicable than in that very moment. Momentarily caught off-guard, she looked down at the porch floor beneath her.

“Colonel!” AJ exclaimed, “What are you doing here at this hour? Is everything okay?”. He noticed the way she held herself stiffly, almost cautiously. Her body language screamed uncertainty along with something else he couldn’t quite put his finger on. It immediately had him concerned. Stepping aside, AJ motioned to the living room with a sweep of his hand. “Come inside, it’s damn cold out here!”

Mac took another deep breath, to muster the courage to raise her head and meet his eyes, if only briefly. It was a gesture that did not go unnoticed by AJ, serving to confirm his suspicion that something was most definitely wrong. The hesitancy in her voice was unmistakable. “Um…I’ll….um…only be a minute, sir”.

“Don’t make me repeat myself, Colonel,” AJ attempted a humorous stance, smiling to take the sting out of his words.

Mac did not smile, but instead nodded quickly, and stepped across the threshold, just far enough, so he could shut the door. The wind picked up and the blinds on the door swayed sideways with the effort it took him to close it. Warmth and the aroma of Italian food instantly assaulted her olfactory senses. Under different circumstances, she would have most certainly welcomed this as avid lover of any food made with heavy carbs or flavorful sauces. But tonight was an entirely different matter. Her stomach was already in knots, the smell doing nothing to help quash the lurking queasiness shifting to and fro. She swallowed hard. She would have to make this quick before she either lost her nerve or her lunch, whichever happened to come first. Aware of the Admiral’s sudden scrutiny upon her, she looked around nervously, willing herself to gather her wits and words.

"Come sit down, Colonel. Can I get you anything? I’ve just cooked some pasta puttanesca; there’s plenty,” he offered, walking over to adjust the thermostat on the wall. The temperature had dropped considerably since he had returned home earlier that evening.

Mac shifted her weight nervously, clearing her throat to keep the bile down, at the mere mention of food. “Um, no thank you sir, this won’t take long…”. This was absolute torture. Scratch that…. It was *beyond* torture. She could already feel the disapproval coming. ‘Just get it over with, Mackenzie’.

Warning bells began to clang in the back of AJ’s mind. He knew that whatever was bothering his junior officer, it was not good... At all. He could see the struggle in her demeanor as she fought to keep control of her emotions. ‘Don’t push AJ, give her time. Let her take control,’ his conscience advised him. He folded his arms across his chest in his signature stance. “Well, in that case, what can I do for you?”

“I got a call this evening from the chaplain at Leavenworth, sir. It was about Colonel O’Hara….um…my uncle,” Mac breathed out, struggling to keep the tremor out of her voice. She could not afford to let her C.O. see her vulnerability. She had to keep it together for a few more minutes. She just had to.

‘Five more minutes, Mackenzie’.

AJ merely nodded for her to continue, his intense gaze never leaving her face. Now that she was standing under the soft glow of the recessed lights in the tray ceiling, he could get a better look at her face. Her eyes were red and her cheeks were pale; telltale signs that she had been crying... Hard.

“He has been very sick for the last few weeks. They thought initially he had, um, picked up the flu from other inmates,” Mac stammered, desperately trying to keep the tears at bay. It was painful to look in his direction, so she kept her gaze fixated on the hardwood floor beneath her.

Icy tendrils of comprehension begin to creep into AJ’s mind like kudzu vines on a telephone pole. ‘Shit’.

“He had lab work done, and um…the results came back positive. He….he has stomach cancer. It is very aggressive, sir. It is inoperable and incurable. They….well, his physician says he has about three months left, if he’s lucky”. The words left her mouth in a strangled whisper as they lodged in her throat. Her voice sounded foreign to her own ears. She couldn’t believe she was saying the words. It made it real. Tangible. Inevitable.

The news was like a knife in AJ’s gut, slicing him wide open from navel to sternum. He was utterly stunned. Speechless. Of all the things that life had thrown at his Chief-Of-Staff, this was, without a doubt, the absolute worst. AJ stood there several long moments before he managed to find his voice. For Mac’s part, she mistakenly took his silence as an expectation to explain why she was there.  
“The Chaplain has requested that I fly out as soon as possible so they can start on the paperwork concerning his living arrangements. The state of Kansas allows terminally ill inmates with good behavior records to live out their remaining days at home. I planned on him coming to live with me,” Mac explained. The last part came out in a painful rush. She looked everywhere but the Admiral’s face. She knew, without further explanation, he would put two-and-two together to realize she would not be present to handle the extra cases.

‘Here it comes Mackenzie’.

“Oh Mac,” AJ replied, using her nickname to remove military decorum from the situation. “I’m so sorry. Take as much time as you need to handle this. Forget about your caseload. I’ll figure something out”. He had an idea of how much Matt O’Hara meant to her. Through various conversations over the years, he had been privy to stories regarding Mac’s relationship with her uncle and how important he was to her. He also knew that Matt was the very reason Mac had joined the Corps in the first place. He wondered why fate had to be so cruel and take someone so special from a person as kind-hearted as Mac. Tossing rank to the wind, AJ put a gentle hand on her shoulder. “Is there anything I can do for you, Mac? I don’t care what it is, you name it and consider it done”.

Mac’s head unceremoniously shot up from where she had been studiously counting the worm holes ingrained in the hardwood floor at her feet. Shock was written all over her face. “You’re not…angry with me because I can’t handle the cases after I told you I would, sir?” Incredible disbelief was evident in her voice. He had every right to be angry. She simply misheard, that was it.

It dawned on AJ that she was anxious not just because of the news regarding her uncle, but because of his potential reaction at her requesting personal leave. ‘How in the world could I be angry with her?’ he thought silently. ‘She’s just learned that the most important person in her life is dying, and she’s worried with how angry I might be?’. It pained him, deeply to know, she assumed his initial reaction would be one of anger.

‘Well AJ, it’s not like you’re especially known for your even-temper in the office,’ his conscience pointed out.

A certain tenderness she had never heard before entered his voice. “Mac, I’d never be angry with you in a situation like this. The only time I would be upset with you is when you’re not being forthcoming with me or when you don’t ask for help when you need it”.

Mac was utterly floored. Never, in a million years, did she expect this. If anything, she had steeled herself for a dressing down, or worse, his infamous, ‘Fine. Consider it done’ response. The latter was undoubtedly the worst for it usually seeped condemnation and disappointment. For the first time since she’d arrived, Mac held his gaze. “Admiral, are you sure? I told you I would handle his cases, and now I can’t. I don’t even know how long I’ll be gone. You’ll be short-staffed sir; I hate doing that to you, it’s…it’s not right!” she exclaimed in a rush, desperate for him to understand the ramifications that her absence would bring. “Lieutenant Singer and Lieutenant Roberts are already snowed under, and Singer was stating today of how much she hated having to take on other people’s work. You don’t have anyone else!”

AJ chucked slightly. “I can assure you Mac, Lieutenant Singer *WILL* handle these cases or she will find herself climbing a coconut tree for her next meal because I will have her six kicked all the way to Borneo!” He was awarded a small smile from Mac and it warmed his heart.

Mac felt her anxiety fade as she realized just how compassionate a commanding officer she had. Admiral Chegwidden was truly one in a million. “Thank you, sir. I hope that he will come home and live with me, you know…to um…live out his time here instead of some cold cell at Leavenworth. I’m all he has,”.

‘And he’s all I have’ she added silently.

AJ’s heart constricted at this information. “You’re one of the finest officers I have, Mac. I consider all of you as part of my family. I want to help any way I can. I will pull Admiral’s privileges if needed.

The tight reserve she held on her emotions was dangerously thin; she needed to keep it in place a little bit longer. It would not do well for her CO to see her cry. “I um…need to get back home so I can get my things together and try to get a flight out of here. They want me there as early as possible in the morning”. She made her way to the door, listening to the wind howling eerily as it whipped around the porch eaves.

“Which airline do you want?” he asked.

Confused, Mac turned to face him for clarification, her hand resting on the doorknob. “I’m sorry, come again?”

AJ repeated the question. “Which airline would you prefer to fly on?”

It was lost on Mac as to why he would be asking such a question, but she answered him nonetheless. “Delta is my first choice, but honestly I will take whatever I can get. So long as I get to my uncle as quickly as possible….”. Booking an airline ticket at the last minute was something Mac did not look forward to; experience had shown it could be one expensive hassle.

AJ nodded in understanding as he followed her to the door. “Okay, Delta it is. Early morning flight, correct?”

Mac confirmed his assumptions, “Yes, I’m hoping they have one available. I haven’t even looked. As soon as I got…the call, I immediately drove here.” She looked back down at her feet and was on the verge of tears.

“Go home and pack. I’ll get your flight arranged,” AJ offered. He couldn’t change the situation for her, but if there was something he could do to make things a little easier, he would move heaven and earth to get it done.

Mac hesitated briefly before accepting his offer. She was not used to accepting help, but in all honesty, she didn’t know if she had the mental fortitude to deal with booking a flight, at least not tonight. “That would be a tremendous help, thank you sir”.

Satisfied with her response, AJ gave one final order. “Call me when you get there, Mac. I want to know you made it okay”.

“Yes sir, will do,” Mac agreed, moving to open the door. But before she did, she paused, turned around, and, in a rare show of emotion, gave her C.O. a quick but fierce hug. “Thank you, for everything” she whispered thickly, exiting the house in a hurry before the dam burst on her emotions.

AJ barely had time to register her actions before she had slipped out the door. He shuddered against the cold, seeing the strength of the wind in the way that it whipped her hair and coat every which way as she made her way to her car. “Be careful!” he called after her, praying for the woman he considered so much like a daughter. Mac waved in acknowledgement as she settled into the driver’s seat, any verbal response lost in the wind. AJ stayed at the door until he could no longer see her taillights in the dark, hoping she would have the strength to get thru this. One thing was for sure, though: Lt Colonel Sarah Mackenzie was by far the strongest woman he had ever met.

2115  
Mac's Apartment  
Georgetown, VA

After having tried to reach Mac all evening, Harm threw in the towel and decided to drive over to her apartment. It was late, he knew, but he couldn't help himself. For some inexplicable reason, he just had to see her. The apartment parking lot was full of assorted vehicles. Several of the street lights were burned out and it made it difficult to see if her Corvette was among them. He took the stairs two at a time until he reached the third floor and made his way down the long corridor to her apartment. He knocked impatiently on the door, wondering where she could be at this hour. It wasn't normally like her to stay out so late. Despite her insomnia, Harm knew her well enough to know she was a homebody, only venturing out late if it was a dire necessity.

The music creeping from under the door of the neighboring apartment was the only answer to his rather incessant knocking. Hesitating briefly, he reached into his pocket and fished out his keyring, thumbing thru the various fobs until he found the spare key to her apartment. He smiled as the cool metal rested lightly in his palm. It was bejeweled and painted in camo-green. It was so typical, yet not typical of Mac. Without a doubt, he considered it one of his most prized possessions, right up there with his aviator wings and the cassette tapes containing his father’s narrated wartime letters.

His mind ventured back to the day that she had given it to him. It was an unexpected gesture, really. The pair had been sharing lunch on the patio of JAG Headquarters following their harrowing submarine ordeal on the USS Watertown. It involved Chief Petty Officer Hodge, his undiagnosed Munchausen By Proxy, and his botched attempt to dispose of them. It was an event that changed the dynamic of their partnership forever; an event that made Harm sick at his stomach to think of how she nearly slipped away from him. It went without saying that, upon their return home, the heavy cloud that hung over their professional partnership had lifted, allowing them to once again enjoy the camaraderie that had long been the staple of their relationship.

It was a warm and sunny afternoon, the two of them laughing uncontrollably over a story involving one of his many ill-inspired shenanigans at the Academy. When the laughter subsided some moments later, Mac suddenly declared she had something for him. Her face grew quite solemn as she reached across the table and he heard the unmistakable soft clink of metal hitting metal. He looked down at the proffered object to find that it was a key. To say he was surprised was definitely an understatement. He couldn’t remember what he had been initially confused about the most: what the key was for, or the cause behind the sudden shift in her demeanor. He had picked up the key, looking at her expectantly. Her face was undecipherable while she explained.

“Just in case something ever…happens to me. And, if you ever need a place to go, you’re always welcome in my home”.

Harm was dumbfounded. Sure, he had plenty of girlfriends in the past that had given him a key to their place, but it was for one reason, and one reason only. This, though, was entirely different. It was something none of his girlfriends or casual flings had ever offered. Unlike his girlfriends, Mac wasn’t offering her body; rather she was offering a place of safety and comfort. More importantly, her place. Sacred ground. He recalled with clarity that she had once mentioned, in jest, that she considered her home to be the one place she didn’t have to pretend to be someone she wasn’t. While Harm had playfully ribbed her about it at the time, it was upon receiving her key that he had a poignant epiphany. Home really was the only place Sarah Mackenzie could just be….Sarah. Not Mac, the hardcore, tough-as-nails, fight-like-hell-to-be-respected Marine. Just Sarah, the beautiful, tender-hearted woman he loved so fiercely that it shook him to his very core, leaving him utterly raw and exposed. Harm had remained silent for several minutes as he ran his thumb over the key, the significance of her gesture not completely lost on him.

“I picked it out myself, so you’ll always know which one is mine. There’s nothing more frustrating than searching for what you need and having to try fifteen different keys before you get the right one, “Mac continued, referring to the special paint on the key and the tiny white jewels that adorned the top.

‘The same thing could be said for men,’ she mused silently.

She watched him carefully over the rim of her Styrofoam cup. After their harrowing ordeal on the submarine and the knowledge that had it not been for Harm’s quick reaction, she would be six feet under instead of sitting on the patio with him, she had been contemplating giving him a key for some time. She just had never been given the final push. Until now. Mac gestured towards the key in his hand. “You’re the only person who has my key, just so you know”.

Harm looked up at her at this revelation, feeling an inexplicable sense of pride and honor that he, Harmon Rabb Jr, notoriously known for fucking. shit. up., had been entrusted with a key to Sarah Mackenzie’s safe place. Her home. A place where she did not have to pretend to be stronger, braver, invincible. He immediately added it to his set of keys, placing it on a separate ring. It was just too special to be cluttered up with the rest. “I’ll protect this with my life. You can count on it,” he solemnly promised, looking her dead in the eyes. He meant it, too. Every word. Every syllable.

Mac nodded in acknowledgement, quirking her lips in that famous half-smile she so often gave him when she felt he was taking things a little too seriously. “You’d better”. And then the serious conversation was over and they were back to their usual banter. As the afternoon passed, Harm could have sworn that the sun shone brighter and the birds chirped more merrily in that moment than they ever had before.

The sound of elevator doors opening startled Harm out of his reverie. He eagerly looked in their direction, hoping to find the object of his thoughts exiting. A man and woman, clearly having enjoyed too much of their evening drink, stumbled down the hallway to their apartment, laughing at some unheard joke. The man struggled with the lock at his door for several seconds before he managed to open it, sloppily dragging the giggling woman behind him. The door shut with a resounding thud in the empty hallway; a shriek and a giggle was briefly heard from the other side of the door before all went quiet. Against his intuition, Harm abandoned his thought to use the entrusted key, instead choosing to shove the set of keys back into his coat pocket.

‘I’m sure Mac’s fine, Rabb. No need to worry. You’re overreacting,’ he tried to reassure himself.

He really did not want to intrude on her evening. With a final look at her door, he turned and headed in the direction of the elevators that had delivered the inebriated couple. Something nagged at the back of his mind, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it. Shrugging it off as fatigue, he exited the building and returned to his SUV. It was getting colder; the temperature had dropped considerably since he had left his apartment. He had to pick up Sturgis in an hour and get over to the airport in time to catch the flight headed out to Norfolk. From there they would get a helo ride to the carrier to begin the investigation. Harm could already feel the beginning of a headache creeping into his temples.

‘Remind me to throw a bottle of Ibuprofen in my suitcase,’ he said to himself in the quiet expanse of the cabin as he took the exit ramp for the I-65 interstate.

It was going to be a long week.

2145  
Mac’s Apartment  
Georgetown, VA

Mac opened the door to her apartment and shut it with a weary sigh, leaning against it for support. She felt as if she were in the midst of a terrible nightmare, begging to be awakened from its cold, evil darkness.

‘Get it together, Marine. You’ve got a lot to take care of before you leave’ she reminded herself as she hung her overcoat on a rack by the door.

Making her way into her bedroom, she began composing a mental checklist of everything she would need for her flight to Kansas. At least the temperatures were going to be relatively the same, which meant she didn’t have to put too much thought into her choice of attire. Opening the closet doors, she retrieved her tattered suitcase from the top shelf.

‘Man, I really need to get a new one. She’s seen a lot of miles,’ Mac acknowledged to herself, noting the threadbare seams and busted zippers. At least its wheels were still intact, for which Mac was grateful. It was strange how the smallest of blessings could bring the most comfort. She was in the process of placing clothes in her suitcase when her cell phone rang. It was the Admiral.

“Yes sir?” she answered, sandwiching the phone between her cheek and shoulder as she moved to her nightstand to search for the pen and notepad stored within. ‘Hopefully he’s calling about a flight out’. She settled herself on the edge of the bed and waited for his response.

“Mac, I just wanted to let you know that I got a flight on Delta for 2445 tonight. I know it doesn’t give you a lot of notice, but it was the earliest one I could get. The next flight they had was at 1030 and I felt you probably wouldn’t want to leave that late,” AJ informed her. The airline booking clerk had been extremely helpful and generous when AJ had called and explained his situation to her. The two of them spent several minutes discussing the flight options available. While the clerk was not technically supposed to sell any tickets for the flight past 0900, she had responded kindly to his request for assistance and sent the transaction through.

‘Sometimes life does have a way of bringing what you need the most at the right time,’ he had thought to himself after hanging up with the airline rep.

“I also reserved a room for you at a local B&B for as long as it’s needed. I’ve actually stayed there before; very warm atmosphere, serves breakfast, and is about ten minutes from the prison.” In addition to the flight, the B&B just happened to have one room left. Yet another blessing that evening. It made him grateful for the little things.

“I don’t even know what to say, sir. Thank you so much. I didn’t even think of room accommodations. I guess…it’s just all a little overwhelming,” Mac admitted, writing down the flight itinerary. “What is the contact information for the B&B so I can call with my credit card?”

AJ absentmindedly waved off her request even though she couldn’t see his gesture. “It’s all taken care of. And no arguments, is that understood?”

“But-“ Mac went to object. She couldn’t allow him to pay for all of this! It was at least $1,000!

“What did I just say?” AJ firmly cut off her objection, leaving no room for argument.

For the second time that evening, Mac was stunned by his actions. As much as his staff had pegged him to be a hardass, the truth was Admiral Chegwidden was a big ol’ softie at heart. It was a side that Mac was unaccustomed to seeing. “Yes sir, understood sir.”

Satisfied he had cut her off at the pass, he continued, “I know it’s late and you still need to pack. Now, what did I instruct you to do when you left my house this evening?”

‘This man never ceases to amaze me,’ Mac thought to herself at his simple gestures. She couldn’t help but smile.

“You instructed me to contact you the moment I arrive in Kansas. But sir, you do realize it will be most likely be around 0400 when I get there? Are you sure you want me calling that late?” she rattled on nervously. It was already 2200 and she knew he had to be just as tired as she was. An early morning wake-up call was inconsiderate at best.

AJ chuckled over the phone despite the heavy situation at hand. “Yes, I am sure Mac, I don’t need much beauty sleep. The universe gave up on this bald, irascible horse’s ass a long time ago. I’ll be waiting for your call”.

Mac laughed softly, a sound that was heard over the line and warmed AJ’s heart. If he managed to bring a smile out of her for the evening at his expense, it was absolutely worth it. “Yes sir. You have my word.”

Satisfied with her commitment, he instructed her to get some rest on the flight before ending the conversation. He glanced at the clock, quickly doing a mental calculation. She was right; it would be well into the early morning hours before her plane would land. But AJ didn’t care. He knew he would not sleep until he received her call to confirm her safe arrival.

‘No matter how old your children get, you never stop waiting up for them to come home,’ he pondered with slight amusement.

On the other end of the disconnected line, Mac could only stare in surprise at the phone in her hand. She wondered what she did in her life to deserve such a kind-hearted commanding officer. She had grown to think of him as a father figure and considered him one of the most honorable men she’d ever met, let alone served under. He had been a strong presence in her life since she first arrived at JAG: letting her ‘spread her wings’ and agreeing to take her back when she realized the mistake she made leaving to go into private practice, his support in the wake of her father’s sudden death, the ordeal with the psychotic detective-turned-stalker AND finally her murder trial and Admiral’s Mast. Mac had never felt so low in her life as she did while standing in his office that fateful morning. The look of shock and disappointment in his face was one she would never forget all the days of her life. It was like a hot knife through the very center of her heart. Despite bringing embarrassment to the Corps and JAG, he chose to keep her in his command when he could have easily sent her to another billet at the first available opportunity. It was a decision in which Mac couldn’t quite make heads or tails of. Most C. O’s would have considered her a liability and immediately relieved themselves of her... .But not the Admiral. It was a mystery she continued to sort out in her head.

Running a hand through her hair to ease the headache she felt coming on, she turned her attention back to packing. She would have to hurry if she wanted to be on time for her flight. ‘Remind me to throw a bottle of Ibuprofen in my suitcase’ she muttered to herself in the empty expanse of her bedroom. She had less than an hour to get out the door and time was steadily ticking away.

2240  
Macs Apartment  
Georgetown, VA

Just forty-five minutes later, Mac adjusted her backpack and wheeled her suitcase to the front door. Giving her apartment a last once-over, she did a quick mental checklist to make sure she wasn’t forgetting anything. Given her mental state, it would be easy to forget something important, like her keys. Convinced that she had everything but the kitchen sink packed, she switched off the light and shut the door, preparing to take the first step of many on a difficult journey.

\---END OF CHAPTER TWO---  
TBC


	3. I'll Be There

Title: "I'll Be There" Chapter Three  
Author: Macattack102712, aka "Mac Mackenzie"  
Publish Date: Original Publish date: August 2002, redone and completed August 2017.  
Pairing: Harm/Mac  
Category: Romance/Angst  
Summary: Mac gets devastating news regarding her beloved Uncle Matt. Her JAG family must come together to get her thru the hardest trial of her life. In the process, she learns the tremendous gift and power that comes with letting love in.  
Disclaimer: Unfortunately, the wonderful characters of JAG do not belong to me.  
Author's Note: *SEE CHAPTER ONE AND TWO FOR INITIAL NOTES*

2432  
Dulles Airport  
Washington, D.C

Mac navigated her way through the deserted airport, her eyes scanning the overhead signs to locate the terminal for her flight. Security had been a relatively quick experience, thank goodness. The less she had to deal with, the better, especially given the strenuous circumstances facing her. Spotting the appropriate gate, she wheeled her top-heavy suitcase along, propping it against her leg as she fished out the ticket printed from the kiosk downstairs. The ticket agent processed her ticket and waved her on thru. The smell of jet fuel and the low roar of the dual engines permeated through the small gap connecting the gate panel to the aircraft hatch. Mac wrinkled her nose in disgust, remembering the time Harm told her how much he loved the smell of jet fuel because it took him back to his fighter pilot days.

 'That's my flyboy. Only he would enjoy the smell of something like that,' she thought to herself with a small smile.

 'Wait a minute...my flyboy? Where did that come from?' her inner voice pointed out.

Mac bit back a sigh as she realized her mind, once again, had wandered. She was just tired, that was all! She shook her head to clear it as she stepped into the aircraft, acknowledging the stewardess' greeting. As one of the last passengers to board, Mac noted with gratitude that the flight was rather empty, one of the few perks of a red-eye direct flight. Fewer people on the flight meant less time waiting to disembark. As it stood, the flight was almost five hours long and she was anxious to get to her uncle. After shoving her suitcase in the overhead compartment, she situated herself in the blue leather seat, turning her attention to the scenery outside. The torrential downpour earlier had just decreased to a steady drizzle. Errant raindrops snaked their way down the plexiglass window, leaving straggly trails of dirty water in their wake. She pressed her forehead against the cool window to soothe the dull ache creeping into her temples. The ibuprofen she had taken earlier had not been enough to completely chase her headache away, and it now returned with a vengeance.

For a few moments, she gazed out into the dark, the rain casting a hazy glow on the amber lights surrounding the gate terminals. In the distance, the lights of the air traffic control tower blinked sleepily, a stark disruption against the opaque canvas of the sky. Settling comfortably in her seat, Mac finally allowed her mind wander to thoughts of Harm. She wondered what he was doing now.

'Probably suffering through a miserable night, trying to sleep in a 5'8" bed for his 6'3" lanky frame,' she pondered with a silent chuckle.

A mental image came into her mind: the tall aviator-turned-lawyer asleep in his bunk, his limbs folded into a human pretzel, knees pressed up into his nose. Closing her weary eyes, she wished more than ever that Harm was sitting next to her rather than an empty seat.

Same time  
Cabin 21  
USS Patrick Henry  
Somewhere in the Atlantic

Harm lay awake in his uncomfortable bunk, unable to sleep as images of Mac floated through his mind. For some reason, she had been on his mind constantly ever since he had left her apartment earlier. Scratch that, she had been on his mind all day. It just didn't become a problem until later in the evening when he couldn't get in touch with her. As it was nearly one in the morning, he wondered what she was doing at this hour.

'Sleeping Rabb, like you should be!' his inner voice lectured.

While he WAS tired, and rightfully so, it never bothered him when she occupied his cerebral space. The truth was, he simply never tired of thinking of or seeing his beautiful Marine. If he closed his eyes and let his mind go enough, he could almost smell her light perfume circling in the expanse of air around him.

 'There you again Rabb! She's not 'your marine'. What is with you?'

He dismissed his inner dialogue as merely a result of not having worked a case together in a few weeks. It usually happened that, following an abnormally long duration of time in which they didn't pair up or fight it out in court, he would find that she was on his mind more than usual. But this time, something just didn't feel right. For the life of him, he couldn't explain it, couldn't put his finger on it. While his mind told him there had been no indication whatsoever that anything was wrong: no calls from the staff back at JAG HQ had been dispatched through at the carrier, no emergency texts or calls from her, and certainly no calls from the Admiral, he just simply knew in his heart that all was not well. Turning on his side, he tried to convince himself that his mind was just overworked.

'Yeah right, you love her Rabb. Just admit it,' the little voice in his head said.

Just before he slipped into sleep, he said a silent prayer that she was okay. But even in his fitful sleep, she stayed on his mind and in his dreams.

0445  
Airport  
Leavenworth, KS

Due to the storms that hung over Dulles, their flight had been slightly delayed until a slack in the rain allowed a brief window of opportunity to depart. Mac had tried to get some sleep during the long flight, but she found herself sleeping fitfully, jerking awake every fifteen to twenty minutes. She had only just dozed off for what seemed like the hundredth time when the bumpy impact of aircraft tires against the tarmac jostled her awake. She was somewhat frustrated over the lack of sleep because she knew she would need her mental clarity when it came time to meet with Colonel O'Hara and his transition team. But now was not the time to show any weakness; she would simply have to rely on her Marine training and resiliency to get her through. As the ground crew connected the terminal gate, passengers began gathering their belongings, eager to be on their way. The gentleman in front of her had been kind enough to retrieve her suitcase for her as they disembarked, a gesture that was greatly appreciated.

Once outside the terminal, Mac searched for the taxi portal where she could request a ride to the B&B, deciding to call the Admiral when she got settled in her room. As the escalator descended towards the ground floor, she realized with astonishment that this had already been taken care of, another unexpected gesture from her C.O. A young gentleman stood at the bottom of the escalator, holding a dry erase board that read, "Lt Col Sarah Mackenzie: Taxi Ride to Memories B&B". He was young looking, dressed nicely in a dark pair of jeans, grey long-sleeved Henley shirt and black hooded coat. The young man smiled as Mac approached him, holding out his hand to shake in greeting.

"Colonel Mackenzie, I presume?'

Mac nodded, taking his outstretched hand. "Yes, that would be correct. I assume a man by the name of Admiral AJ Chegwidden arranged this?" She shifted the heavy backpack on her shoulder as she struggled to keep her suitcase from falling over.

"Yes ma'am, he did indeed. My name is Erik Manchester by the way," he introduced himself as he withdrew his hand. "Oh! Here, let me take this for you". He grabbed the suitcase handle for her as they walked towards the exit.

She offered no objection. For once, Mac didn't want to play the role of "tough woman" and frankly, she was exhausted. “Thank you, Erik. I appreciate you being here to pick me up," she stated.

"My pleasure, ma'am. The B&B is about a ten to fifteen minute ride from here. It's relatively a straight shot, and no traffic to have to worry about this early in the morning, which is nice," he explained as they navigated around a few stragglers and airport carts. He glanced behind her to make sure she was keeping pace. He had never received a call from a Two-Star Admiral requesting his transportation services, so he took special care to ensure his passenger was looked after. Besides, she had to be exhausted if the dark circles under her eyes were any indication. "I'm afraid it's rainy out this morning, but the B&B has a nice portico that I can pull under so you won't get wet".

Mac followed him as they bypassed a couple pushing a stroller, and she silently envied the child fast asleep in it. She was tired, oh so tired. But sleep was not priority right now; taking care of her uncle was. And she was eager to get to him. "That's great. It was raining heavily when we left Dulles. Our flight was delayed for almost an hour due to the rain, but thankfully there was a break,".

"Oh yeah? You are lucky, then," he acknowledged. "Usually if the weather is bad they will ground all flights. You'd still be sitting there I'm afraid,". They had reached the taxi lane and his car sat parallel to the curb, its hazard lights flashing. "Here we are ma'am," Erik announced, popping the trunk with his key fob. He gently placed Mac's suitcase in, making sure all was clear before he shut the lid. He then opened the passenger door for her and waited until she was securely in before shutting it. He quickly went around the car to the driver's side and got in, cranking up the heat when he noticed her briskly rubbing her hands together in the rearview mirror. "Let me know if I need to turn it up any higher".

"Oh, this is fine, thank you," she replied, buckling her seatbelt. Erik navigated the departure lanes leaving the airport parking garage and then they were quickly on their way, turning north on the somewhat desolate highway. The roadside scenery went by in flash, blurring together in a bland canvas that was every bit as dark and dreary as Mac felt inside. As she allowed herself to get lost in her own thoughts, she realized there were three men on her mind, and all for very different reasons.

0700  
Mess Hall  
USS Patrick Henry  
Somewhere in the Atlantic

The morning mess hall activity was beginning to pick up by the time Harm arrived for breakfast. Following a fitful night that had nothing to do with sleeping in a too-small bunk, he could bank on the fact that a tall thermos of the galley's strongest coffee was most certainly in order. And, if the ache in his joints were any indication, he quite possibly would need coffee in the realm of jet-fuel grade. It was the same kind of coffee Mac made at JAG HQ but nobody could drink. It had become a friendly competition of sorts to see who could beat her to the coffee maker in the mornings. The winner was allowed the first and final cup before everyone was forced to drink Mac's battery acid. Harm frequently gave her hell over it, accusing her of making it so strong that it could melt the bars off Alcatraz! She had merely laughed in response, stating he just couldn't handle it, a point of which he couldn't argue. As he stood in line behind several PO's, the aromas of freshly cooked breakfast meat greeted his nose, and his face wrinkled in repugnance. He shook his head at the sight of the offending meat stacked high in their warming pans.

'Mac would be in heaven right now' he thought with a shake of his head.

As a near-vegetarian and the exact opposite of his partner, he never missed an opportunity to rib her about her eating habits, especially when it concerned a dead animal. And she always took it in stride. That was one of the things he loved about her the most. She always knew when he was giving her a hard time in jest and never took offense.

'One of the things you loved about her most?'

There it was, again. Another slip of the thought. And yet, was it really? Was it just a Freudian slip, or something more? He couldn't be so sure. He still couldn't push the uneasiness out of his mind since the previous day. While Mac was an ever-present thought on his mind, this time it was different. He couldn't explain it, dismiss it, or rationalize it. It just was. Pulling his phone from his shirt pocket, his heart sank when he saw no missed calls or text messages from her. 'She's probably still asleep, Rabb. You are an hour ahead, remember?' He shook his head with a sigh, shoving the phone back to its rightful place. He always enjoyed working cases when it involved being on a naval carrier, but this was the first time he could ever remember that he wished he were back home at JAG.

'I guess there's a first time for everything, huh?' he said to himself, casting a dismal look over the food options in front of him.

Finding nothing appealing in the first section of the line, he went a few paces more until he found "the edibles", as Mac liked to refer to them. In one of their many playful arguments over whose diet was the better of the two, she had endearingly termed his choice of vegetables and fruit as "rabbit food". While Harm insisted that he was the winner, in reality it was Mac, but as par for Rabb modus operandis, his big male ego just wouldn't allow him to admit it. In response to his refusal to accept the loss, he received her signature one-raised eyebrow and quirk of her lips that meant she was on to him and therefore he was busted. In return, he had flashed his infamous flyboy smile, the very one that, unbeknownst to him, made her heart speed up and slow down all in the same beat. What he wouldn't give to hear her bantering with him right now. His ability to make her laugh certainly inflated his ego a bit, but it did nothing to outshine the radiant smile she seemed to reserve just for him. Man, he was really missing her!

A PO politely asking to cut around him brought his attention back to what he was doing.

Breakfast. Right.

He flashed a quick smile of apology and motioned the man ahead. Settling on a bowl of quick-cooked oats and a plate of fruit, he found a seat in one of the plastic chairs pushed haphazardly under a nearby table. With a frustration-laced sigh, he realized that while he'd remembered to grab a coffee mug from the beverage cart, he'd completely forgotten to fill it.

'Jeez Rabb, get with the program!' his inner voice lectured.

If he had even a hope or prayer of getting through this investigation without being torn apart by the SecNav, he definitely needed to get his mind on the task at hand. He dragged his hand raggedly over his face, feeling the day-old stubble.

Shit.

He'd also forgotten to shave. Jet lag aside, he seriously needed to get his head in the game. And get rid of the headache coming on. The investigation had not even started, yet Harm already felt like he'd been away for ten years. Unconsciously his brow furrowed in apprehension. He was anxious to get back home, but it had nothing to do with the job and everything to do with her.

Sturgis' voice broke through his thoughts as he took a seat beside him. A plate piled high with eggs, biscuits, and bacon, along with a small carafe of coffee, perched precariously on his crowded meal tray. "Missing something?" he asked with a knowing smirk, the question loaded and not referring just to the coffee.

Harm attempted to sidestep the landmine that Sturgis had planted, choosing instead to smile in appreciation as he grabbed the pot from the tray to fill his cup. "Thanks man". He poured Sturgis a cup before setting the pot in front of him. He took a swig; not too strong, not too weak. Just the way he liked it. He couldn't help but think of how Mac would have tossed it out after the first sip, calling the concoction a colossal embarrassment to the Navy. He discreetly checked his watch. It was almost 0500 her time. She should be getting up by now. If he hurried through breakfast, he may just be able to catch her on her way to work. He really needed to talk to her, even if it was just to hear her tell him how much he was disrupting her beauty routine.

"So, what's wrong? You look like you're a million miles away man," Sturgis asked, startling Harm back to the present. He dug into his scrambled eggs, which were a little bit dry, but carrier food was not known for its flavor nor flair. He sprinkled another packet of pepper on them as he looked at Harm with a look of expectation and concern. His friend had barely touched his food; they were due in sickbay in twenty minutes to begin preliminary interviews.

Harm swallowed a mouthful of oatmeal, buying himself a second to fabricate a good answer. "Ah, just ready to get started on this investigation". While Sturgis was an old friend from the Academy, Harm wasn't so sure he could trust him with his feelings when it came to….her.

'For who? Mac? Don't go there Rabb!' his conscience warned him.

Sturgis shot him a dubious look. "Let me try this again." He reached for a packet of salt. The pepper just wasn't cutting it on the tasteless eggs. He watched Harm shove his oatmeal around, a telltale sign that something was off. 'Time to cut straight to the chase' he decided. "You want to tell me what's on your mind? And let me help you out: it has nothing to do with this investigation". For all his bravado in the courtroom, Harm was as readable as an open book in large print complete with a narrator!

Harm attempted another bite of his oatmeal before deciding either his taste buds were being obstinate or the soppy substance was just too bland to be considered palatable. He swapped the oatmeal for his plate of fruit, hoping for better results. He could feel Sturgis' eyes boring into his face but he pretended to be preoccupied with spearing the fruit onto his fork.

"So, Mr. 'Expert-On-My-Mental-State', pray tell, what IS on my mind?" he asked in jest, trying to thwart his buddy's attempt at digging for information.

Sturgis, for his part, had to hold back a laugh. No wonder Mac wanted to throttle him so many times! He could be so obstinate! He shook his head in mild amusement. "Well, for starters, a certain Marine Lt Colonel".

Harm sighed in frustration, suddenly losing interest in his fruit. "You haven't heard from her lately, have you? I mean, she hasn't called you, has she?"

Puzzled, Sturgis shook his head. "No. The last time I spoke to her was the day before we left. Why do you ask?" He would bet money that something had happened between the two. He just didn't know what.

"Mac's been on my mind a lot since yesterday. I don't know what it is, but something doesn't feel right," Harm responded, chewing his lip in worry. He just couldn't shake that nagging feeling; the longer time went by the more worried he grew.

"I haven't received any calls or messages. I'm sure if there was something wrong, the Admiral would have called us by now," Sturgis offered, taking a sip of his coffee while mulling it over in his mind. As far as he was aware, everything was in standard operating order at JAG HQ. Still, he was intrigued. It was not like Harm to openly express worry over his partner, especially in an environment such as the one they were currently in. "Look, we did have a long flight and only just got in this morning. Maybe it's fatigue?"

'Or that you're in love with her' he added silently.

The moment his big toe had crossed the threshold into JAG HQ, he knew they were a bonded pair, rather, a packaged deal. While they vehemently denied it to themselves, each other, and everyone around them, it was painfully obvious that their feelings ran far deeper than friendship.

Harm shook his head in dismissal. "No, that's exactly what I thought, too, but this feeling just keeps nagging me and I can't put my finger on it". Even talking about it heightened his sense of worry. It was like his radar was going off but the cause for alarm remained elusive.

Sturgis nodded in understanding. "Have you thought about calling the Admiral? Maybe you can ask him if he knows anything when you call in your report to him this afternoon," he suggested, pouring himself another cup of coffee as he gathered his trash.

Harm was thoughtful for a moment, considering Sturgis' suggestion. "Yeah, good idea Sturgis. Thanks".

Satisfied that his friend's anxiety seemed to settle for the time being, he clasped Harm's shoulder briefly before rising. "Anytime Harm, and I do hope everything's ok. Now, we've got five minutes to make it down to sickbay before the captain serves our sixes to the SecNav on a golden platter".

Harm groaned in response, following Sturgis to the trash receptacle. The two dumped the remnants of their and left the mess hall, one man's mind on the investigation, the other one on Mac.

0530  
Memories Bed and Breakfast  
Leavenworth, KS

The ride to the B&B was indeed short. Before Mac realized it, Erik was pulling the car under the portico, the rain having picked up during their commute. Memories was a grand sight to behold with its Victorian-style architecture, deep wrap around porches, and gingerbread accents. Despite its grandiosity, it gave off a quaint vibe with an abundance of neatly kept flower beds, all of which were overflowing with coniferous shrubs and evergreen bushes. A variety of winter flowers provided clusters of color scattered throughout. Mac unbuckled her seat belt, intending to reach for her door handle, but Erik was already at her side, suitcase in hand.

'How did he managed to do that so quickly?' she thought with surprise. 'I must be out of it more than I thought. I have to get myself together'.

She drew her coat around her as the driving rain threatened to blow under the portico. Erik shut the car door and gestured her to follow him. They made their way into the front room of the B&B, which was empty save for one lone clerk working the desk. The front room was adorned with historic portraits of various people, most likely generations of the estate's former owners. An elegant crystal chandelier hung from above, casting iridescent diamonds of light over the room. Crown molding ran the entire perimeter of the room, giving it a refined aire of importance. An antique runner stretched from the door to the desk. Period furniture, while sparse, filled the room and provided adequate seating for visitors.

Erik released the handle on her suitcase, propping it against his leg as approached the desk. "Morning Emily! I am dropping off my rider, Lt Colonel Sarah Mackenzie. A man by the name of Admiral AJ Chegwidden has already arranged a room for her," he greeted.

Emily set aside the magazine she was looking at and acknowledge the pair with a smile. "Same to you, Erik. Good to see you again!" She retrieved a room key from the metal storage box behind her before marking the room as 'occupied' on the dry-erase board adjacent to the box. "Ah yes, Colonel Mackenzie. It's nice to have you staying with us. Your Admiral called ahead a few hours ago to make sure your room was ready". She came from around the desk and handed the key to Mac. "Room 230. Go up the stairs, straight down the hall, and it's the last room on the right. I must say it's one of my favorite rooms at the estate. You'll have a beautiful view of the grounds and gardens".

Mac nodded in acknowledgement as she took the key from her outstretched hand. She fished for her credit card in her wallet and attempted to hand it to the clerk, who dismissed it with a wave of her hands.

"Already taken care of. The room is for as long as you need it. I was given strict orders not to discuss the amount or take any form of payment from you".

Mac was stunned. Just when she thought the Admiral couldn't surprise her anymore, here he was, making sure she was taken care of in every way possible. It was the most than any man, besides her uncle, had ever done for her.

"That Admiral is a nice man, that's for sure. He certainly cares an awful lot about his people," Emily added as she returned to her perch on the stool. "Breakfast is made from scratch and served from six to nine a.m., compliments of the house. The dining room is right around the corner". She gestured to the sign above Mac's head with an arrow pointing to the dining room.

While the mention of food did not turn her stomach as easily as it had at the Admiral's house, Mac nearly blanched at the thought of eating. She honestly could not remember the last time she ate.

'That's probably why you have a headache from hell, Mackenzie' her mind hinted with annoyance. She turned her attention back to Erik who remained standing behind her.

"Thank you so much for transporting me from the airport,". She went to reach for her suitcase, but Erik shook his head.

"Curbside service is not what I do. However, door service is. I'll take your suitcase up for you," he grinned as she went to object. "Room 230, correct?"  
"Yep, last door on the right. Has a plaque with a sunflower and room number stamped on it," Emily answered for Mac, giving Erik a soft smile. The moment Mac had entered the lobby, Emily noted she looked ready to drop from exhaustion. While AJ had not divulged to either of them in-depth details of the reason for her stay, he did inform them that she was dealing with a difficult situation and instructed them to take as good of care of her as possible. Money was no object, that was for certain.

Erik was already making his way up the staircase when Mac realized this and she hurried after him. Upon arriving at the correct room, she attempted to give him a $20 for his efforts but he politely refused.

"No ma'am. Already taken care of, and your Admiral told me to tell you not to argue with me," he grinned.

Mac just shook her head and muttered under her breath. 'I should have known'.

Giving Erik a small smile of gratitude, she took hold of her suitcase and reached out to shake his hand in farewell. "Thank you so much for your kindness, I truly appreciate it".

Erik grinned in response and handed her a card stamped with his contact information. "My pleasure, ma'am. Now, I don't know if you are aware of this or not, but your Admiral has hired me to be your personal driver for the duration of your stay. So, when you are ready to be picked up to go wherever you need to go, here is my number. Call me any time".

Mac looked like a fish out of water, mouth gaping open. There was no telling how much this was costing AJ, and he did it all without a second thought. She blinked rapidly to keep the tears at bay. "Thank you, Erik. I will".

Erik shook hands with her once again before turning to descend the staircase. "Oh, and one more order from your Admiral: Get some sleep".

Mac chuckled through her barely concealed tears. "I will. Thanks".

Erik nodded. "Night ma'am, or, in this case," he glanced at his watch, "Good morning". And then he was gone, leaving Mac alone with her thoughts.

Mac slid the keycard into the slot, looking forward to a hot bath and a chance to catch a few minutes of sleep. Flipping on the light, she pushed her suitcase through the door, dropping it next to the antique cherry armoire. First things first: call the Admiral to check in. With a cringe, Mac noted that the time was a little after 0500. She sat on the edge of the queen-sized bed, hesitating briefly before hitting the 'send' button. After the third ring, a sleep Navy Seal answered.

"'Lo? Whoo iss it?' came the mumbled greeting. He had only just fallen asleep an hour earlier despite trying to stay awake for her call.

"Um, Admiral, it's Mac" she answered quietly, even though nobody was around to be disturbed.

AJ was instantly awake. "Did you make it okay? How was your flight? How was Erik? Was he waiting on you at the airport? What about the room? Is it okay?" He fired off questions like a well-trained interrogator.

Mac softly laughed at what felt like the twenty-question burn. "Yes sir, I did. I'm sorry for not calling sooner. My flight was delayed almost an hour due to the weather. And Erik was a godsend. I'm sitting in my room right now; it's beautiful, thank you." As she spoke, she unzipped her suitcase and retrieved her toiletry bag, fully intent on getting a hot bath as soon as their conversation was over.

"Good, good. I had a feeling you would be leaving out late. Well, now I can rest a little better knowing that you made it safely," AJ stated. "I want you to get as much sleep as you can. Call me later tonight when you get done at Leavenworth".

"Yes sir, I will. Sir, I cannot begin to ever thank you enough for all that you have done," Mac began, trying to keep the tears out of her voice. "I….I don't know what I would have done without you handling everything for me. It's almost more than I can handle. I am so thankful".

Even though he was 2000 miles away, AJ could hear the fatigue and strain in her voice.  
'Bless her' he thought to himself. It made his heart constrict.

"Anytime Mac, I'm just glad I could help you in some way".

Folding her legs underneath her, she nervously picked at a stray thread in the comforter, which was adorned with soft vines and flowers. She hesitated to ask him what was on her mind. "Um, sir, can I ask you to a favor for me? I feel bad asking seeing that you've done so much for me already, but this….it's really important to me".

"You name it Mac and I'll do it if it's within my power".

"Well, as you know, Harm, I mean, Commander Rabb is in the middle of the high-profile case with the SecNav's nephew. Would you…. avoid informing him of my situation? He doesn't need my problems to hinder his concentration on his case. Besides, there's not anything he can do to help at this time".

AJ had to smile at her slip of Harm's name. It was so obvious to anyone with half a brain that there was more than friendship between the two. He could hardly be surprised by her request for they constantly sought to protect each other. "Mac, Harm will want to know why you are not here when he gets back. I won't say a word to him, for now" he emphasized the last two words, "but if I don't hear about it from him by tomorrow, consider yourself ratted out. He deserves to know, and you deserve his help and support".

Mac was silent for a moment as she mulled this over. "Okay. Just think up something for now until I can get myself together enough to figure out a way to tell him. I jus…I don't want him worrying about this or trying to leave the carrier to come out here. It's the last thing he needs. And I think it goes without saying that if he attempted to take personal leave during this investigation, the SecNav would have his six,".

AJ really couldn't argue with her last statement. After his last conversation with Mac the night prior, the SecNav had called, demanding that AJ expedite closure of the investigation so he could get rid of the black cloud hanging over his nephew. AJ had been forced to bite his tongue, diplomatically reminding him that investigation hadn't even begun. "I agree, Mac. Try to get some sleep. I will talk to you later in the day".

"You too, Admiral". Mac hung up the phone and went to run her bath water.

An assortment of soothing bath salts lined the shelf above the claw-footed bathtub. Deciding on a blend of lavender and chamomile, she dumped some of the bath salts in, her thoughts drifting aimlessly as did the crystals that spread out over the water. A little while later, the bath water grew tepid, forcing her to abandon her previously cozy cocoon. The hot water and bath salts combination had helped alleviate some of the tension in her shoulders, but what she would have given for one of Harm's famous shoulder massage! She yawned heavily, struggling to keep her eyes open long enough to change into a set of pajamas. Wearily Mac climbed into bed and was asleep the moment her head hit the pillow, her last thought on her beloved flyboy.

-END OF CHAPTER THREE—  
TBC


	4. I'll Be There"

Title: "I'll Be There" Chapter Four  
Author: Macattack102712, aka "Mac Mackenzie"  
Publish Date: Original Publish date: August 2002, redone and completed August 2017.  
Pairing: Harm/Mac  
Category: Romance/Angst  
Summary: Mac gets devastating news regarding her beloved Uncle Matt. Her JAG family must come together to get her thru the hardest trial of her life. In the process, she learns the tremendous gift and power that comes with letting love in.  
Disclaimer: Unfortunately, the wonderful characters of JAG do not belong to me. If they did, Harm and Mac would have been banging like a screen door in a hurricane the first season she was introduced.  
Author's Notes: Please previous chapters for notes.  
**In regards to Colonel O'Hara keeping some of his military benefits that include hospice coverage, I have no clue if this is true, but let's assume it is.

0730  
Memories Bed and Breakfast  
Room 230  
Kansas

Mac realized it was 0730 the instant she awoke. It was a blessing she had an internal clock she could always rely on to wake her when she needed. She had a feeling it would come in handy over the next several weeks. Throwing the covers off her legs, she brought herself to a sitting position on the side of the bed, groaning as her head pounded harshly against her temples. Vaguely she wondered if someone had come in the night and beat her head with a brick. In addition to her insomnia, she was a frequent recipient of headaches, but couldn't recall having one that hurt this bad. Unplugging her phone from its charger on the nightstand, she made a quick call to Chaplain Gaines to inform him that she had arrived. They discussed her uncle for several moments, settling on a meeting time in just over an hour. She then made a call to Erik to arrange for pickup in forty minutes. While Mac was anxious to get to her uncle's side, she most certainly dreaded the reason for her visit.

'Well, sitting here isn't going to get anything accomplished, Mackenzie' she said to herself.

She padded into the softly lit bathroom, the scent of bath salts still lingering in the air. Checking her appearance in the mirror, she noted with dismay that the skin underneath her eyes was puffy and beginning to turn a dark color. She grabbed the waterproof concealer from her makeup bag. If there was one thing about her uncle, it was that he was a very observant person. He never missed even the slightest change in an individual. He often commented on her loss of weight or stress lines in her face when she would visit. She shook her head in disapproval.

'He can't see me like this. I've gotta do something'. Dabbing a small dot of the liquid substance on her finger, she methodically rubbed it in, making sure to adequately cover the area.

Throughout her childhood, the numerous times Joe Mackenzie’s fists had made impact with Mac's face had made her rather skillful in applying make up to cover discoloration. It was also something she remembered her mother doing. She lost count of the number of times she sat perched on the cold marble of the bathroom counter, watching her mother apply concealer to her own bruises. She had grown tired of hearing her make one lame excuse after another as to why Joe lost his temper.

  
'I guess the bastard did teach me something useful after all' she thought wryly, returning the top back on the bottle. Who knew the effects of childhood abuse could, in a sardonic way, come in handy later in one's life?

Giving another shake of her head, she took a second look in the mirror at her reflection.

'Good. I don't look half-dead anymore'.

Satisfied with her appearance, she changed into a pullover sweater and pair of slacks, shoved her phone in her pack and headed downstairs. She had less than twenty minutes to try to eat before Erik arrived to pick her up.

The dining room had several guests mulling about, and while the space was small, it was not cramped or cluttered. There was plenty of room to sit at the big oak table in the middle. Mac settled on a few pieces of fruit and some toast, hoping it would be light enough to calm the jitters in her stomach. The bountiful spread of homecooked food was undoubtedly fit for a king, but she found herself unable to really eat. The knots in her stomach were taking up too much room. She managed to take a few bites of what was on her plate, but for the most part she pushed the small bits of food around. The texture and taste were doing nothing to stimulate her appetite.

'If Harm were here to see this, I'd never hear the end of it' she chuckled to herself.

He was always giving her a hard time about her appetite. He would often ask how someone with her petite build could put away so much food so quickly. While the answer to that question was rather dark, she never let him know the truth. She chose to let him think it was just good genetics. As the unwanted product of a loveless marriage, young Sarah was often left at the mercy of her mother. Mac always relied on her having enough sense to hide the monthly-issued food stamps before Joe Mackenzie could trade them for alcohol or cigarettes, a daily occurrence. As such, she never knew when or where she would get her next meal. When the opportunity arose for her to eat, she ate as much and as fast as she could before Joe could take it away as a punishment for some imagined transgression. She supposed it was a habit that had unfortunately followed her into adulthood.

"Ready to go Ms. Mackenzie?" a voice interrupted her thoughts. It was Erik.

Shit.

She hadn't been aware that he'd arrived.

'Get your head in the game, Mackenzie' she reminded herself as she rose from the table and deposited the remainder of her food in the nearby garbage can. She smiled apologetically at Erik.

"Yes, I am, thank you". She grabbed her coat from the chair and put it on, not looking forward to experiencing the dreary weather again. It seemed that all it did lately was rain.

"Well, let's be on our way, then" Erik replied as she followed him to the front door. The rush of cold wind hit them the moment they stepped out. The rain had picked up again and it was a steady drizzle. "Leavenworth Correctional Facility, right?" he asked as he opened the back door for her.

Mac nodded, setting her backpack on the floorboard before getting in. "Yes. It's about fifteen minutes from here. You'll have to go to the main gate on the south side". She had lost count of how many times she had entered that gate over the years since her uncle was first incarcerated, but this time she knew it would be very, very different.

Erik nodded. "Yes ma'am". He shut the door and quickly made his way to the driver's side and climbed in. "I won't be able to go past the front parking lot due to security reasons, but I will get you as close to the entrance as possible. I have an umbrella if you need to borrow it."

Mac shook her head as she buckled her seatbelt. "No need for that, I have one of my own, but thanks". She was anxious to get to her uncle. The sooner they were on their way, the sooner she could lay eyes on him. For some strange reason, this knowledge made her feel a little better despite the fact it did not change the circumstances.

In the short time that it took to reach LCF, the rain had turned into a torrential downpour, as though the weather was trying to match the heaviness of the situation at hand. It made the feeling in her patched and battered soul grow even gloomier. As Erik pulled the car into the outer parking lot where he could go no further, she had to take a moment to gather herself and her thoughts. The facility towered above her, beckoning, yet mocking. Just beyond the concrete walls lay her biggest battle, one that she was not sure she was ready to fight. Even more so, she didn't know how to fight this one.

Erik put the car in park as he she gathered her belongings. "Just call me whenever you are ready to be picked up. It may take a little bit to get back here as I have some other clients I need to transport today, but I will get here as soon as I can," he said into the rearview mirror as he turned up the heater a little more. Whatever she was going thru, it certainly seemed she had the weight of the world on her shoulders.

"Thanks, I will". Mac quickly put the umbrella over her head as she stepped out of the car and shut the door, finding that every step closer pulled her further towards a deep depression. She carefully made her way across the parking lot, sidestepping the flooded potholes scattered like dandelion seeds. Once inside, she went through several rounds of security checks before she was allowed into the visitor's area where she was required to log in. She noticed that the log book seemed rather thin for a month with a major holiday.

'Not too many people interested in visiting their families, huh?' she noted with a pang of sadness.

Since the first day her uncle's prison sentence began, Mac had seized every opportunity possible to visit, only missing a handful of times in which she was on assignment overseas or too sick to make the plane ride. To her, family was everything. Uncle Matt was all she had. She was as devoted to him as he had been to her all those years ago.

"You must be Colonel Mackenzie," a voice startled her out of her thoughts. A man looking to be in his early fifties appeared at her side. He was dressed in the traditional black pants, black shirt and white collar, indicative of his role as facility clergyman. His eyes, kind and soft, were framed by silver rimmed glasses. "I'm Chaplain Jake Gaines". He held out his hand in greeting. "I'm very glad you were able to get out here as soon as you did. It will certainly help speed up the paperwork process. We'll be going over all of that in the conference room".

Mac returned his handshake, her assumptions proving correct as to his identity. While she was not a religious person per se, she was instantly put at ease by his presence for some inexplicable reason. "Thank you, Chaplain. I got a flight out as soon as I could, thanks to my C.O."

He motioned her to follow him as they navigated their way through the facility. "I am sorry that we are meeting under such circumstances, but it is a pleasure to finally get to meet you in person. I've heard nothing but good things about you from your uncle," he informed her as they passed through a set of double doors, then down a long but narrow hallway. "It sounds as though you have a wonderful CO, Colonel. You don't find too many of those, especially in this day and time".

Mac nodded, falling into step alongside him as he made a left turn down another hallway. "Yes, I most certainly do, and please, call me Mac".

He acknowledged her request with his own. "Well, in that case, call me Jake". He stopped abruptly outside a metal door with a plaque on it that read, 'Conference Room #1'. "Ah, here we are". He pulled out a key from his shirt pocket and unlocked the door, pushing it open to reveal a small room that was relatively empty save for two tables and some chairs. The smell of freshly brewed coffee wafted out, hitting her nose immediately.

'I can sure use a cup of that right now' she thought to herself.

The table at the far corner of the room held a small coffee pot that was still percolating with the golden liquid. Styrofoam cups, along with an assortment of coffee condiments, were lined up neatly in a basket by the pot. The second table was positioned in the middle of the room directly under the two overhead fluorescent fixtures. Four chairs were pushed underneath. The lighting was somewhat dim, but the room was clean and tidy otherwise. Mac noted with appreciation that it lacked the usual smell of dirty gym socks that was prevalent throughout the rest of the facility.

"Can I get you a cup?" he asked, gesturing towards the coffee table.

Mac removed her backpack and set it on the floor, then took off her coat and hung it over the back of her chair. "Oh yes, that would be wonderful. Black please." She was already feeling the effects of jet lag and the sleepless night, not to mention the headache that pounded dully in her forehead. Coffee was most definitely in order. Jake poured two cups, setting one in front of her. She accepted it with gratitude, wrapping her cold hands around the warm cup while savoring the aroma. She took a careful sip; 'Hmmm, not bad'.

While it didn't hold the usual strength of the coffee she made back at JAG, it had enough kick that it would clear the fog that had settled in her mind. Her thoughts went back to a playful argument that she'd had with Harm in the breakroom one day where he proceeded to inform her that her coffee was undrinkable…

FLASHBACK

Harm waltzed into the breakroom, whistling cheerfully as it was Friday-FINALLY!- which meant that the following day was Saturday. Not only was it the weekend, but the weather was promising to be absolutely gorgeous. A perfect day for flying was certainly in the plans, and he was itching to get back in the cockpit. Mac had just poured herself a cup of her own freshly brewed coffee. It was one of the few perks of getting to work early; she could make the communal coffee the way she preferred. She didn't know what it was with the Navy, but they seriously lacked any talent or training when it came to making good coffee. She took a sip of the liquid gold and closed her eyes, bliss written across her face. Perfect. Strong...just the way she liked it.

Harm stopped short when he saw the look of pure enjoyment cross her face. It was rare that he caught her in moments like this; when he did, he certainly gave it his best effort to savor them, log them and tuck them safely into his memory. Mac was never one to let her guard down around anyone, especially him, but it was in moments like this that he was offered a glimpse of what it was like to see her utterly content. He stood still, taking in her features as a silent voyeur. She was, without a doubt, the most beautiful woman he'd ever laid eyes on. Exotic, really. But it wasn't just her looks that were captivating. It was her spirit, her very heart, that made this woman all the more beautiful. It was the way she asked, with genuine interest, how someone's day was going. It was the way she studiously checked on her friends when she knew they were going through difficult times. It was the way she seemed to remember everyone's birthday at JAG, right down to the soft-spoken janitor who kept the huge building clean. It was the way she put on a tough façade so that nobody would see how vulnerable she really was. And it was the way she picked herself up time and time again when life did its best to snuff out the light burning so brightly within her. It was all of these things that made Sarah Mackenzie truly and deeply beautiful to him.

"Good morning Commander! Colonel!" Bud's voice rang out cheerily behind him, disrupting the tranquil moment.

'Dammit Bud! Always the worst timing' Harm shook his head at the younger lawyer's enthusiasm.  
How anyone could be so cheerful so early in the morning (except on Fridays, of course), was utterly lost on Harm. But in his typical fashion, Bud never failed to deliver a daily dose of sunshine with his bubbly personality and endearing innocence.

"Good morning Bud!" Mac returned with a bright smile. "Would you like a cup?" She offered up the coffee pot to him.

Bud glanced back at Harm, who merely shrugged with indifference. He looked at the carafe with careful regard, trying to choose his next words wisely. "Um, did you make that, ma'am?"  
"Uh huh, just got finished. I've had the first cup. You want some?" She watched him with amusement in her eyes, consciously working to keep the mischievous smile off her face. If the scuttlebutt in the office concerning her java making skills was true, he was most certainly not a fan of her coffee.

'Typical Squid. They just can't take it'.

She watched him squirm uncomfortably as his eyes shifted nervously between her and the pot. She could almost swear a fine bead of sweat popped up on his upper lip. As expected, he tried his best to be diplomatic.

"Uh…um….no offense ma'am, but…I'd have to put at least three creamers and sugars in that to make it…drinkable. And Harriet has me on a strict diet" He looked at the senior officers with an expression of chagrin.

She gave Bud her best courtroom interrogative look. "My coffee isn't that bad, is it Lieutenant?" It was fun to watch him squirm. Besides, it would serve him right for taking the last chocolate éclair from the donut box last week after she had laid claim to it. They weren't just any chocolate eclairs. They were eclairs from the best damn donut place in town. The one where the line formed at 0600. It was long before the shop opened and they usually sold out within fifteen minutes. Oh yes, it was payback time indeed.

Bud looked like a deer caught in headlights. If there was anything he dreaded most in his world, it was being pinned down by his superior officers, especially when that superior officer just so happened to be Mac. She truly could be intimidating in every sense of the word

Harm laughed, breaking the imagined tension in the room. "Bud, you're being far too generous. There's no amount of sugar that could make that-*he jerked his head towards the pot in Mac's hand*- Fit to Drink... Hell, OSHA would log that as a toxic chemical".

Bud coughed in an attempt to cover his laugh. Mac pinned them both with a look of exasperation, rolling her eyes for good measure.

"You know, if the Navy ever experiences a shortage of jet-fuel, they could simply turn to your coffee as a viable substitute," Harm continued, unable to resist teasing her. "I'm sure the staff here would have no objection to them taking it. In fact, I'm fairly certain everyone would be very grateful".

She picked up a pack of sugar from the basket on the counter and chunked it at him, hitting him squarely on the cheek.

"Ow! Whatd'ya do that for? I'm just being honest here. I mean, you could get a Nobel Peace Prize or something". He held up his hands in mock self-defense. "JAG Lawyer Creates Fuel Alternative For The Navy Using Coffee Unfit to Drink," he quoted in his best news anchor voice, earning him a playful punch in the shoulder.

Bud, not wanting to be involved in their tete-a-tete, excused himself from the conversation. "Pardon me ma'am, sir, but I have to get ready for a deposition". He gave them an apologetic smile and hastily retreated from the room before he could be interrogated further or be a witness to any crime.

She gave Harm her infamous grin, the one that told him he was inserting far too much drama than the situation required. Casting him a dubious once-over, she moved toward the exit, pausing briefly at the doorway. "If you can't handle my coffee, you sure can't handle anything else of mine".

'Wait, WHAT!? You did NOT just go there Mackenzie!' her inner voice screamed, causing a screeching halt to her thoughts.

She hadn't meant for it to come out in that manner, but it was too late. The words were already out, scattering into the comfortable expanse ebbing between them. The look on his face was quite priceless. Mac, witnessing an uncharacteristic moment where the infamous pilot-turned-lawyer was speechless, chose to leave him alone to sort out her comment. She sauntered out of the breakroom, leaving a open-mouthed Harm struggling to verbally and mentally catch up. She couldn't keep a satisfied smile from appearing. The ease in which the words came tumbling out was not what surprised her the most; rather, it was the way her heart did somersaults in her chest as a look of shock...and something else...passed across his face…

END FLASHBACK

The scraping of a chair against the linoleum startled her back to the present. Jake had settled himself beside her, removing a thick stack of paperwork from his briefcase. At that moment, a knock was heard at the door. "Come in," he replied while sorting through some papers in the stack. Two men whom Mac did not know walked in. "Mac, I'd like you to meet Captain Mike Brenham and General Brian Stevens. They will be assisting us in getting Colonel O'Hara's discharge paperwork and plans finalized".

Mac shook their hands as introductions were made. Captain Brenham was much taller than the other officer. He reminded her of Harm in that he had short brown hair and strikingly blue-grey eyes. The second man was shorter in stature with bits of gray creeping into his sandy blonde hair. "Nice to meet both of you. I'm not sure how all this will work, but I'm very anxious to get him home. I'm sure you understand".

The two officers took the remaining two chairs as Captain Brenham spoke. "Yes ma'am we do. We'll try to make this as easy and quick as possible, but it can take awhile, so if you're ready, we'll begin". He looked at a piece of paper that Jake passed him, reviewing it quickly before applying his signature and passing it to Stevens.

Mac nodded in agreement. "Let's get started sir, the sooner, the better. I would like to see my uncle as soon as I can. Does he know that I have arrived?"

"I told him that you had been informed of his condition and that you planned to be here. He doesn't know you've arrived yet. After we get the legalities taken care of, you are welcome to see him" Jake explained.

A few minutes later, the four officers were buried in their paperwork.

1215  
Leavenworth Prison  
Meeting Room #1  
Kansas

"I guess that about does it Colonel, all I need is your signature. Now, as you know, your uncle won't be eligible for discharge until tomorrow," General Stevens stated, passing the last piece of paper to Mac.

"At least we have this out of the way. I'll be glad when I can see him," she replied as she signed the form. Her internal clock told her it was past 1200, and she had been reviewing forms and signing what seemed like a hundred of them. She was anxious to get finished.

General Stevens shook her hand as he departed. "I wish you the best, Colonel".

Mac stood to return the handshakes. "Thank you". When the officers had left, she turned to Jake. "May I see him now?"

He nodded, placing the last of the paperwork in his briefcase before latching it. "Yes, the infirmary is just a short walk from here". He exited the room with Mac following close behind. "Most inmates here don't have any family worth mentioning. Your uncle is so fortunate to have such a caring niece".

"No sir, I'm the one who is fortunate. He cared about me when everyone else deserted me."

Jake abruptly turned to the right and waited for Mac to catch up. "I wish he could have been discharged today. I know you want to get him home and settled in as soon as possible". They traveled down a short hallway before he stopped at the entrance to the infirmary wing. "He's probably dozing. I must warn you, though, he tires very easily and is not able to sit up for long periods of time. He is very weak, which is to be expected".

Mac followed him into the outer room and glanced around. Cabinets lined one side of the room with laminate countertops resting underneath. Several examination tables separated by opaque curtains sat neatly in a row. Numerous medicine bottles sat locked behind the cabinet bars and chairs were placed on the other side of the room. Aside from a few generic medical posters plastered on the walls, the room was quite bare.

"Let me see if he's dressed and awake. Just one minute, please," he said and disappeared into another room.

Mac took the opportunity to make sure her tough mask was in place. She couldn't let her uncle see how much his illness and impending death ripped her soul up. Now was the time she had to be strong for the both of them, the same way he had done for her at Red Rock Mesa. It was her turn to be there for him. She would not fail him. A few seconds later Jake reappeared, popping his head around the doorway.

"He's awake now, go ahead. The nurse will be in shortly to discuss his services".

Mac could only nod, not trusting herself to speak. The lump had returned in her throat, forcing her to bite back the sudden sob that threatened to escape. Jake gave an apologetic smile before disappearing quietly out the door. She was left to her own devices. Taking a deep breath, she silently opened the door to her uncle's room. It was eerily quiet, save for the faint ticking of the industrial style clock on the wall opposite his bed. The movement of the door caught his attention and he looked up as she entered, closing the door softly behind her. "Hey Uncle Matt!" she exclaimed with forced cheer, trying to hide her initial shock at the sight of him. He looked so different than when she had seen him last, which had only been two months prior. He had lost a tremendous amount of weight, evident in the way his cheeks were sunken and the hospital gown swallowed him. She was stunned. This was not the Uncle Matt she knew or remembered.

"Oh, it's so good to see you, Sarah," Matt O'Hara said quietly, opening his arms up for a hug. She crossed the room in two steps, quickly enveloping him in a gentle but fierce embrace. He was so thin that Mac could feel his shoulder blades through the flimsy hospital gown. After a few moments, she pulled away to peer into his face.

"How are you feeling, Uncle Matt?" she asked, trying to keep the conversation light. "I came as soon as I could".

Colonel O'Hara shrugged, "I'm tired, but other than that I feel okay". Mac looked closely at her uncle, trying to decide if he was being honest. Sensing this, he rolled his eyes in jest, "Yes, Sarah, I'm telling YOU the truth". He patted the space beside him, inviting her to sit down. It was silent for a moment as both studied on what to say next. "I presume they have told you everything about my condition, hand in hers, noting that it was cold and pale. His hands, which were strong enough to lift a 200-pound log yet gentle enough to wipe away her tears, were now a fraction of the size they once were.

She bit her lip. "They did". She turned her attention back to his face, determination set in her eyes. Cancer would take him away from her, but she would not let it take his dignity. He would die at home with her, in peace, surrounded by nothing but love. "I want you to come home to live with me, and I will NOT take 'no' for an answer". She steeled herself for his argument; Matthew was never one to accept help from anyone.

'Much like you,MacKenzie ' her inner voice pointed out.

Matt shook his head emphatically, using his term of endearment for her. "Baby duck, I know you do, but I won't be a burden to you. You've got so much going on in your life right now with your job, and-"

"And nothing! You're never a burden Uncle Matt! I never want to hear you say that" Mac cut him off forcefully. She took her uncle's face in her hands, looking him square in the eyes. "You've ALWAYS been here for me when I've needed you the most. You helped me dry out in Arizona. You saved me from myself. If it hadn't been for you, I'd still be the miserable wretch today that I was then. Let me be there for you this time. Please. It's what I want to do. Remember the Corps' rule that we never leave a fellow Marine behind? Well, I'm not about to break that rule; not today, not tomorrow, not ever, especially when it comes to you."

The intensity with which she pinned him with never wavered and Matthew could see that this was an argument he was going to be on the losing end of. He was quiet for a moment as he considered her offer. His niece truly was the only family he had left. To be honest, he did not want to spend another moment in Leavenworth if he could help it. With a sigh, he acquiesced. "Okay. I know I can't change your mind, especially when you get that look on your face". That much was true. Ever since Sarah Mackenzie had been conceived, she defied the odds and refused to backdown from any challenge.

Mac quirked her lips in a half smile as she realized she had won. She pulled his hand to her mouth, giving it a quick kiss. "Good, you're learning fast. I always knew you could teach an old dog something".

At that moment, Jake knocked on the door. "Sorry to interrupt, but our hospice nurse is here and we need to get things set up so that you can start services as soon as you get home". He stood at the doorway with a nurse dressed in brightly colored scrubs. "This is Holly McCravy with Hospice of the Heart. If you three need anything, I'll be working in my office at the end of the hallway. Just take a left as soon as you leave the outer room. My office is the last room on the left". He bid them goodbye, shutting the door behind him.

"Good morning Colonel O'Hara, and Colonel… " Holly looked at Mac for clarification as she shook their hands.

"Sarah Mackenzie, but everyone calls me Mac," she provided as Holly pulled a chair over to Matt's beside.

"Mac? Very well, then. Nice to meet both of you. This shouldn't take too long". She situated herself in the chair, removing his medical chart and some pamphlets from her bag. "Now, hospice services are still covered under his military benefits. We typically start off with visits at twice a week for around two hours a day." She looked at Matt's file and then the pair before continuing. "But, as the disease progresses, we will certainly need to increase that frequency".

Mac looked at Uncle Matt for acknowledgement. He simply nodded and lovingly squeezed her hand. He understood the words unspoken: hospice services made his diagnosis a reality; real and undeniable. "I'd like for him to be as comfortable as possible but still be with it enough to participate in what's going on around him." She hated talking for her uncle as though he were a child and unable to make his own decisions, but she could tell in his body language he was tiring quickly.

Sensing her discomfort, Matthew interjected his thoughts. "Sarah, you're my advocate. What you want is what I want. I trust your judgement, you must know that".  
Mac sighed, tightening her hold on his hand. "I know Uncle Matt, I just don't want you to feel that I'm talking for you. I want you to be satisfied with what you are getting".

"And I am. As long as I get to spend my final days at home with you, that's all that matters. You are going to need the extra help, especially when I get to the point that I can no longer do the simple things, like bathe myself". He knew she did not want to hear that, but it needed to be said. He couldn't, wouldn't let her shoulder his caregiving needs by herself. While he was a man of dignity and valued his privacy, he knew Sarah would not ask for help. And there were some things that his niece just did not need to see nor bear witness to. Hospice was there for a reason.

After some time was spent discussing his care plan, Mac seemed satisfied with the level of services outlined and that his needs would be adequately met. The nurse did a final review with them before she returned the files to her bag. "So, I guess that wraps it up. Hospice will come three times a week for two hours each day until we notice a significant decline. At that point, we will increase the visits to four times weekly at three hours a day. Do you have any objections to that?"

Mac shook her head and looked at her uncle. "I don't have a problem with it, it's fine with me" Matt replied wearily, rubbing his head. He was so tired.

Concern immediately cast a shadow across Mac's face as she felt his forehead. It was cold and clammy. "Are you feeling okay?".

"My head's hurting pretty bad right now," he admitted, sighing heavily. It frustrated him that he could not keep his strength up. Deep down, he felt the timeframe he'd been given by the physician was optimistic at best. If he closed his eyes long enough, he could feel Death's icy cold fingers beginning to creep into the darkest recesses of his mind. He knew it would not be long before he would be joining Death for his journey home.

Mac rubbed his head gently, wishing more than anything that she could take his pain away and make it hers. It broke her heart to see him in pain, knowing that she could do nothing about it.

At that moment, Jake poked his head around the corner to check on them. "We are just wrapping up here. Colonel O'Hara should be safe to discharge either tomorrow or the following day," Holly stated as she handed the last form to Mac for her to sign.

"Thank you, Holly, we appreciate it" Mac acknowledged, signing the form and handing it back to her. As she did so, she noticed that Matthew was desperately trying to stay awake. "Uncle Matt, you're awfully tired. Why don't you try to get some rest? I'm not going anywhere, at least until visiting hours are over".

Matthew examined her with scrutiny, contemplating the suggestion. He knew his niece better than anyone. If one thing was for certain, she was a pro at deflecting her own struggles, especially if she thought it would raise concern or worry in others. He had his suspicions and she was hoping he would go to sleep so he wouldn't see how tired she was. "What about you? I know you caught the red-eye flight and only arrived this morning. You've got to be exhausted, Sarah".

Giving him a soft smile, she squeezed his hand gently in an attempt to reassure him. "I'm fine, Uncle Matt, really. There's no place I'd rather be than sitting here by your side".

He could tell by the slight downward shift of her eyes that she was not being truthful, but he really was too tired to argue. Against his better judgement, he acquiesced to her suggestion, surrendering to the fatigue. He was asleep in a matter of seconds.

Holly took a careful look at Mac, the telltale signs of caregiver stress already beginning to cover her face. After reading his chart, she realized that Mac was the only family member he had. And based on the lack of family support and snippets of conversations, the Colonel was all his niece had. Her twenty years in the hospice industry had taught Holly a lot, but one thing was for sure; while the death of a patient was hard on the family, it was the utter grief and aftermath that was the worst. Caregivers, more often than not, experienced a severe illness themselves as their bodies finally broke down after the death of their loved one. If the scene that just unfolded was any indication, she knew exactly where Mac was headed. With a sympathetic smile, she slung her bag over her shoulder and shook hands with her.

  
"Don't forget to take care of yourself. You can't afford to get sick, too. And it's ok to ask for help. That's what we are here for. Not just for the patient, but for the caregiver, too". She looked at Matthew sound asleep. "Just give us a call when you get settled in at home. Our nurse will come out within the hour to do the initial visit".

"Thanks again for everything... we appreciate it," Mac said with watery smile as she stood, smoothing the blankets over her uncle. She shook hands with Holly once more before the nurse quietly exited. The door closed with a sense of finality, leaving Mac alone with her thoughts.

She turned to stare out the window for quite some time, watching the rain make haphazard patterns on the glass as it rushed on its journey downward. It beat softly against the pane, seeming for a moment that the world was crying with her. But unlike the storm, which would soon end and bring with it the sun, there was no happy ending, no sunny day ahead for her. Only darkness. Her thoughts wandered to Harm, wondering what he was doing at the moment. Without thinking, she pulled her phone from her pocket, her thumb hovering over his number. She longed for him to be there with her, giving her the comfort that nobody else could provide. But he was away on a very important case, one that could not afford any distractions.

'He's probably very busy. He doesn't have time to talk to you right now. You just have to suck it up. Keep moving forward, Mackenzie ' she chastised herself.

She sighed in resignation, returning her phone to her pocket. It would be so easy to throw herself a pity party, but now was not the time. Her uncle needed her. She vowed to be by his side, step for step, no matter how long or short the journey would be.

A soft snore interrupted her thoughts; Matthew was still fast asleep. She returned to her chair at his bedside, sandwiching his hand between her own. Mac tried to push away the thoughts that had clouded her mind since the moment she had been told of his illness. The information had been hard to process, but now, in his presence, the words hung like an ominous black cloud. The lines in his face seemed to be etched far deeper than she ever remembered. Matt had always looked much younger than his age, but upon laying eyes on him since her last visit, he seemed to have aged twenty years overnight. His color was a pale, sickly yellow. Despite the three months that he had been given, Mac had a terrible suspicion that cancer would take him long before then. Stroking his hand softly, she let out a tearful sigh, softly whispering, "I love you Uncle Matt" before putting her head down as she finally succumbed to her tears.

1215  
USS Patrick Henry  
Flight Deck  
Somewhere in the Atlantic

Harm's gaze settled over the water, watching the waves left in the ship's wake smash against each other. The sun sat high over the horizon, its rays deflecting brightly off the constantly shifting surface below. He took in a deep breath, the smell of jet fuel tingling his nostrils. The flight deck was a place he could always count on to help ground his mind, especially when his thoughts jumped all over the place, much like they were now. His thoughts, which they so often did, centered upon Mac. His mind and his heart were at war with one another; his mind trying to convince him that he was overreacting, his heart telling him that something was most definitely wrong. Ever since he first laid eyes on her in the White House Rose Garden, there had been an instant connection, piercing him right to his very core. While it had taken some time to get over the initial shock of her uncanny, not to mention haunting, resemblance of his deceased former girlfriend, he could never recall having such a visceral encounter with anyone else. It was like she knew him in every sense of the word and yet they had only just met. For a moment in time, his world screeched to a halt, upending every preconceived notion his mind had concocted after AJ informed him that his new partner would be a Marine.

'Well, he did fail to mention that the Marine was a "she" and not a he' his conscience reminded him.

Still, even if AJ had told him this one important fact, Harm doubted seriously that he could have been adequately prepared for the shock that came. It had nothing to do with Diane and everything to do with the way she sneaked into his world, quiet and unassuming like everything else she did.

"Penny for your thoughts." Sturgis' voice boomed out from behind, startling Harm. He shut the bulkhead door as he gave Harm an apologetic smile. "Sorry, Buddy, I thought you heard me open the hatch".

Harm shook his head and chuckled, moving aside to make room for his friend. While they were on opposing sides for this particular case, it didn't mean they had to leave their friendship at the door when the interviews were over. They were both professional in that they knew when to set aside their working relationship, and for that Harm was grateful. "I don't think they would go for much these days. I hear the bargaining rate on this ship is pretty low".

Sturgis studied him carefully. While the interviews had gone seamlessly and Harm, as always, was on top of his game, Sturgis had been friends with him long enough to know when he was compensating. It was evident in the way he held himself, the way his eyes went distant as though he was searching for something he could not find, the worried expression that clouded his face when he thought nobody was watching. Without a doubt, he knew where his mind had wandered. "Have you talked to the Admiral yet?" he asked, referring to their conversation at breakfast.

He let out a deep breath, unconsciously gripping the rail. "No, not yet". He hesitated, trailing off. "I'm not…."

Seeming to read his mind, Sturgis finished his sentence. "Not sure what to ask, huh?"

Harm nodded once, keeping his gaze on the water. "Yeah".

From the side, Sturgis could see the firmness set in his jaw, a telltale sign he was anxious. "Well, when we check in with the Admiral, we can ask him what the news is back at JAG. But that's AFTER we grab something to eat. We missed lunch and I don't know about you, but I'm hungry".

There. …The pressure was off Harm and now safely centered on the situation at hand. If there was any news not pertaining to the case to report, he was fairly confident that AJ would share it. And grabbing a bite to eat would give Harm a chance to calm his nerves…. Hopefully.

Harm cast a sideways glance at his friend, noting the hidden concern in his face. If Sturgis was aware of his deeper feelings for her, he certainly did not let on. Harm was grateful. He just couldn't let that part of his heart out, not right now. He was too vulnerable. He flashed a brief, but thankful smile. "Sounds good, let's go". Giving one last look over the horizon, he followed his friend inside.

1315  
JAG Headquarters  
Admiral Chegwidden's Office  
Falls Church, VA.

AJ sat at his desk, unable to focus on the paper in his hand. He'd been staring at it for the past ten minutes, but he couldn't keep his mind off Mac. She was one of his best lawyers and Chief of Staff, not to mention she dealt with Harm like none of his previous partners had been able to! He was damn proud of how far she'd come since her first case at JAG. He smiled as he remembered the way Harm used to be before Mac arrived. He'd been one cocky, arrogant Navy pilot-turned lawyer who had his head shoved rather tightly up his six. Harm used to be able to get his way with any woman by flashing his infamous Rabb grin, but when it came to Mac, he was in for one hell of a surprise. Not only was Mac immune to his smiles, but she was always one step ahead of his tactics in the courtroom which sometimes borderlined on flat out deceit. It hadn't taken very long for Mac to whip Rabb into shape, which, in AJ's opinion, was long overdue! Every time he saw her reel him in from his latest harebrained scheme, AJ thanked himself profusely for his decision to recruit her to JAG.

AJ had also watched with pride over the years as she managed to pick herself up every time she fell, always bouncing back to the Mac everyone had come to know and love. In his opinion, she was the strongest person he'd met in his thirty-five year military career. And as a former Navy Seal, he'd met a lot people along his journey. She'd come from a terrible childhood, overcome an alcohol addiction, and joined the Marine Corps just to show the world she could do something with herself. He viewed her through proud eyes as a father would and considered her to be just like a daughter.

The chiming of the clock interrupted his thoughts. He was expecting a call from Harm at 1300. As usual, he was late. That was another benefit of having Mac around. She kept Harm on time with their partnership running like a well-oiled cog. While the man was undeniably gifted in the courtroom, he also had a gift for being chronically late. He turned his attention back to the files on his desk before deciding to give Mac a call.

1315  
Fort Leavenworth Correctional Facility  
Infirmary Ward  
Fort Leavenworth, Kansas

A sudden vibration in her pocket stirred Mac from a restless sleep, forcing her to dig for her phone. She looked at the caller ID and saw it was the Admiral.

Shit.

She had almost forgotten to call him.

Careful not to disturb her sleeping uncle, she quietly exited the room before answering. "Hello?"

"Mac, it's AJ, how are you doing?'

She propped herself against the railing in the hallway, running a hand over her face. Her head was absolutely killing her, but thankfully it had not reached migraine status. She took a deep breath, pulling her coat around her a little tighter; it was quite chilly in the hallway. "I'm okay sir."

AJ could hear the fatigue in her voice but decided not to call her on it. "That's good. I don't want you wearing yourself out".

"Don't worry sir, I'm a Marine, I can handle it" she stated, trying to convince herself.

AJ couldn't help but shake his head and roll his eyes. 'Typical Mac'.

She continued. "I've completed the paperwork but he won't be discharged until sometime tomorrow".

"I thought as much, I'm sure that process is a lengthy one. How is he?"

Mac glanced over her shoulder at the door to her uncle's room. "He's asleep right now. The hospice nurse left a little over an hour ago. It didn't take long for him to wear out after we went over the paperwork. It really worries me. They gave him three months, but….I don't think…." She couldn't finish the sentence; it hurt too much, took too much effort. Her mind was just numb.

AJ understood the unspoken words where they were meant to fit among the spoken. "That's to be expected Mac, but you can't wear yourself out worrying like that. Your uncle needs you to be strong for him. If you're constantly worrying, you won't be able to look after him or yourself".

Mac chewed her lip anxiously, leaning her head against the wall. "I know sir, but sometimes, it's just so hard to sit back and take it, you know?" Hard didn't even begin to describe how she felt, but at the moment she was too exhausted to eloquently express her feelings.

"Focus on what you can handle right now, let go of what you can't. I find that it helps to keep that in mind when I'm faced with a tough situation" AJ advised.

'God Harm you need to wrap that case up and get home' he thought silently. Mac needed him more than ever.

Mac absent mindedly nodded at a passing orderly pushing a supplies cart. "Thank you, sir, I will try to remember that".

"I know you've got a lot ahead of you, so I won't keep you. Try to get some rest and keep me updated on his condition. Don't forget to let me know when you expect to fly back."

"Okay, I will sir. Bye" she hit the end button on her phone and returned to her uncle's bedside where he remained asleep. She didn't want to spend a minute away from him, especially with the knowledge that the sand in the hourglass of his life was quickly running out.

1330  
JAG Headquarters  
Admiral Chegwidden's office  
Falls Church, VA

"Admiral...Commander Rabb and Commander Turner are on line one, sir," Tiner announced over AJ's intercom. Glancing at his watch, he realized Harm was now thirty minutes late.

'A half-hour late, that's a new record. Hell, the man would be late to his own funeral!' he thought with a dry chuckle.

"Put him through Tiner".

The connection was fuzzy as Harm's voice came over the line. "Good afternoon, Admiral".

AJ shuffled through the stack of files on his desk and grasped the nearest legal pad. He knew he'd need a lot of paper for this conversation if the SecNav's incessant phone calls were any indication. "Same to you Rabb, Turner. I'm hoping you have good news."

"Well, we're having a difficult time getting anything from our client. It may take a few days more than initially thought, but I promise we will get this wrapped up as soon as possible, sir". He looked at his notes as he spoke, cringing with anticipation at the Admiral's response. Sturgis stood nearby, carefully watching Harm's face.

AJ rubbed his head in frustration while simultaneously reaching for the bottle of aspirin he kept in his desk drawer. He groaned inwardly. "What seems to be the problem?"

Harm hesitated. The Admiral wasn't the only one who wanted to wrap up this investigation ASAP. He had an extensive caseload to get back to.

'And Mac' his inner voice provided to which he annoyedly shoved away.

"Commander West states that he has no recollection of what happened just prior to losing control over the aircraft, sir. He's very reluctant to talk about it. We haven't been able to get much information out of him. We're still waiting on results from the recorder box they pulled from the aircraft".

AJ fought the desire to beat his head against the desk until he entered oblivion. This was the last thing he wanted to hear. "Commander, I know if anyone can get information out of a turnip...it's you. I want the damn SecNav off my back. I can hear my neck frying at the moment because he's breathing fire down it".

Despite the seriousness of the situation, Harm couldn't suppress laughter at AJ's description. "I promise you sir, we will get this wrapped up as soon as we can".

"See that you do, Commander".

He looked at Sturgis briefly before continuing. "Um sir, I had a question I wanted to ask". He twisted the phone cord nervously in his hands.

"That depends." AJ was reluctant; he had a feeling where this conversation was headed.

"I uh…wanted to know how the Colonel was doing. I mean, with my cases. I just didn't want her to um…you know…get overloaded," Harm stammered, trying to maintain as professional a demeanor as possible, especially with Sturgis' eyes boring into him.

'Damn Rabb, that was one weak delivery'.

AJ sighed inwardly, knowing Mac had not yet disclosed Colonel O'Hara's condition. He was quiet for a moment, trying to think of what he would say. On one hand, he wanted to tell Harm the truth so Mac would receive the support she so desperately needed, but on the other hand he wanted to respect her wishes.

"Admiral, are you there?" He twisted the cord again.

AJ cleared his throat. He really hated being the man in the middle, but he knew Mac needed some time to get herself together. "Yes, Commander. An assignment came up that needed the Colonel's expertise. I gave her cases to Lt. Singer and Lt. Roberts".

It was not like the Admiral to have all three of his senior legal officers away on assignment at the same time, especially with a high-volume caseload and not enough junior staff to handle them. A sense of dread began to settle in his stomach. There was something in AJ's voice that didn't sound quite right. "Where is she on assignment?" Another twist of the cord.

The man was persistent, he had to give him that. AJ decided to dodge the question. "Unfortunately, Commander, she cannot be reached at this time, but I'll let her know you called to check on her caseload." He didn't exactly tell the truth, but he didn't lie…exactly.

Aware there was more to Mac's assignment than the Admiral was revealing but not wanting to push the topic, Harm chose to let it go for the moment. He trusted that the Admiral would never put Mac in danger, but something was off, of that much he was sure. He unconsciously tightened his hold on the now tangled cord. "Yes sir. Would you get a message to her that I need to talk to her as soon as she is available? It's kind of…. important, sir".

AJ knew that Harm sensed he wasn't telling him everything, but to his credit, he didn't press the matter any further.

'This is when being a 2-star Admiral really pays off,' he thought with a droll grin.

"I will make sure she gets the message, Commander. Keep on that case and wrap it up before I become tomorrow morning's toast".

"Yes sir, will do," Harm replied, hearing the finality in AJ's voice before he hung up the phone. He chewed his lip in thought, trying to decipher the Admiral's cryptic message.

'There is no reason for you to panic. She's been away on assignment before. Don't make a big deal out of it,' his mind tried to reason.

He glanced down at his fingers which were now imprinted with the outline of the phone cord.

"So, what did the Admiral have to say?" Sturgis asked the moment the receiver was back in the cradle. Judging by the numerous expressions that crossed Harm's face during the conversation and the way he clutched the phone cord like it was his lifeline to Mac, he could assume whatever was, or wasn't shared, did not nothing to alleviate his concern.

He let out a sigh of frustration as he tossed his notebook on the table beside him. "He said Mac was pulled off for another assignment, but he wouldn't say what it was. Gave her caseload to Roberts and Singer. When I asked if I could speak to her, he said she wasn't available".

Sturgis' eyebrows shot up in surprise at this. "Really? That must be one hell of an investigation he's put her on. He's down three lawyers now; there's no way they can manage with that many cases." While he had not worked for Admiral Chegwidden very long, he learned early on that the Navy Seal did not like to be short on manpower, especially when it came to his senior officers.

Harm gave Sturgis an apprehensive look. "I'm pretty sure those two are hating our guts right about now".

Sturgis laughed, imagining Singer's reaction to being assigned someone else's caseload. "Singer yes, Roberts no. He is always eager to take on extra cases. Besides, he needs the practice. He's turning out to be one hell of a lawyer".

"I completely agree with you there". Harm glanced at his watch. 1330. He had been late in calling the Admiral, but for once, AJ didn't rake him over the coals. He couldn't believe it.  
'Whatever is going on at the office must really have him preoccupied' he thought to himself. 'He never lets me off that easily'.

Sturgis grabbed the notebook from the table, thumping it against Harm's chest. "Let's get back to our rooms and go over our notes. We've got a lot of ground to cover".

The two lawyers exited the meeting room, the receiver cord still bunched up from where it had been unceremoniously twisted during the short phone call.

-END CHAPTER FOUR—  
TBC


	5. Chapter 5

Title: “I’ll Be There” Chapter Five  
Author: Macattack102712, aka “Mac Mackenzie”  
Publish Date: Original Publish date: August 2002, redone Fall 2017.  
Pairing: Harm/Mac  
Category: Romance/Angst  
Summary: Mac gets devastating news regarding her beloved Uncle Matt. Her JAG family must come together to get her thru the hardest trial of her life. In the process, she learns the tremendous gift and power that comes with letting love in.   
Disclaimer: Unfortunately, the wonderful characters of JAG do not belong to me. If they did, Harm and Mac would have been banging like a screen door in a hurricane the first season she was introduced. ☺   
Author’s Notes: Please see previous chapters for notes.  
Sorry for such a long delay! It has been rather a busy few months for me since my last update. But here it is! 

1530 EST  
Fort Leavenworth Correctional Facility   
Infirmary Ward  
Leavenworth Kansas

Colonel Matthew O’Hara emerged from his deep sleep, slowly opening his eyes to find his niece staring absently out the dimly lit window. Her forehead was resting against the rough wooden pane. The weak sunlight filtering through the glass illuminated her too-thin figure in an eerie glow. Matt was unsure if her pallor was caused by the poor lighting or the stress of the situation. He surmised it was a combination of both. Even from where he lay, her tear streaked cheeks were glaringly evident. It was painfully obvious she had been crying silently for quite some time, and this realization ran through his gut like molten lava. He observed Mac quietly, unwilling to disrupt her thoughts. Matthew knew his illness, as well as his impending death, were beginning to take a toll on her. He felt her emotional pain each time his heart reminded him of the special moments in her life that he would never get to share. He would never walk her down the aisle or see her bring her children into the world. He would miss the special traditions they’d shared since she was a small girl. Moisture gathered in his dark brown eyes and threatened to spill down his cheeks, but he didn’t bother to wipe it away. His niece shifted in her chair as she pulled her phone from her pocket, looking at it with what appeared to be a mixture of sadness and longing. She began to make a phone call, but seemed to change her mind, and cancelled the call before setting the phone on the windowsill. She sniffled as she swiped a hand across her cheek, fixing her gaze once more on the dreary scenery outside.

As he contemplated her subdued disposition, Matt’s mind wandered to a certain man who seemed to be a staple in her life, yet thus far had been absent on this trip. From the moment he met Commander Harmon Rabb Jr. in the Arizona desert all those years ago, the older Colonel sensed something incredibly special between the handsome young naval officer and his niece. On the few occasions Matt had received permission to go home at Christmas, he had witnessed the complete admiration for Harm shining brightly in her eyes. It also had not escaped him the way Harm unconsciously leaned in to stare into her very soul when he thought nobody was watching. It was incredible how the two could have an entire conversation without uttering a single word. Their love for each other was so glaringly apparent that Matt couldn’t help but wonder why they refused to act upon it. For sure, one could cite military regulations as a thoroughly justified reason. 

In Matt’s opinion that was nothing more than a safe excuse to avoid rolling the dice. It was his belief if two people truly loved and were committed to each other, the hard part was already over! The ancillary issues could easily be resolved given proper paperwork and some compromise on assignment locations. However, since her arrival two days prior, there had been no mention of him at all, and it had him both concerned and intrigued. Matt never approved of the men his niece had been involved with. He felt she deserved only the best and Harm was a man he certainly gave his stamp of approval on. He wished that fate would step In and work it out soon because they both deserved to be happy, especially Sarah. She had been a real trooper since the day she was born. Even as her first few weeks of life threatened to dampen the light burning so brightly within her, she never quit fighting for her place in the world. 

::FLASHBACK::

Matthew O’Hara quietly entered his sister’s hospital room, carefully shutting the door behind him. The faint smell of antiseptic and floor cleaner hit his nostrils as he did so. It caused him to wince at the unpleasant memories of battlefield infirmaries that drifted through his mind. He pushed them roughly to the side. This was no time for PTSD flashbacks. His focus needed to be on his sister. Aside from the soft beeping of machines tracking the usual vital signs, it was quiet inside the small but cozy room. Nearby was a cluster of cheerful balloons, a brightly decorated banner with the word ‘Congratulations!’, and a vase of assorted fresh-cut flowers. They were a stark contrast to expression of despondence on the face of the exhausted new mother resting beneath the linen sheets. Alongside her bed stood a transparent plastic incubator, which reminded him of the produce drawer in his refrigerator. In it lay a tiny baby, clad only in a diaper that dwarfed her little body. Various tubes ran in and out of her nose while other wires wrapped around her body like an invasive species of vine. 

Deanna briefly took her eyes off the tiny doll-like figure in the incubator to acknowledge the entrance of her brother. “Hello Matthew, what are you doing here?”

He gave her what he hoped was a bright smile as he pulled the rocking chair to her bedside. He took in her appearance with a masked sense of shock. He realized he needed to choose his words carefully to avoid coming across as judgmental or pitying. Motioning towards the incubator, he noticed that while the baby squirmed quite a bit, she remained quieter than a church mouse. “Deanna, why didn’t you call me earlier? You know I would have been here”. 

She avoided his gaze, which from previous experience could be unwavering as he so often did when he was searching for the truth. She traced the outline of a stain on the stark white sheet as she took in his words. “I….um….it happened so fast. I didn’t know what to do. Joe barely had time to get me here before she came”.

Her older brother peered into the incubator with a mixture of surprise and utter joy. “She? It’s a girl? I have a niece?” 

Deanna nodded briefly, motioning towards where her newborn daughter lay. “I don’t know when they will let her go home. She was born so early. The doctors are concerned her lungs aren’t developed enough”. 

Matthew’s eyes narrowed in suspicion as an unpleasant thought crossed his mind. He’d never liked Joe MacKenzie since the day his sister started dating him, much less married him. He had suspected for a long time that abuse was occurring in the home but lacked enough evidence to prove it. Even if he did, he knew Deanna would never admit to it. When his enlistment in the Marine Corps sent him to the desert for a combat assignment, he’d been unable to keep an eye on her. This pained him deeply. The reports from their mother were less than favorable, especially where Deanna’s husband was concerned. His hands instinctively curled into fists. “Joe??…. Did he do something to you to cause her to come so early? If he did, I swear on my life Deanna, it’ll be the end of his!”

His sister adamantly shook her head as she pulled the covers up tighter around her. “He…he wasn’t happy about the baby, but he didn’t cause this”. She glanced at the incubator forlornly. “I don’t even have a name for her”. 

Matt looked at his sister for permission before gently lifting his niece from the incubator. He nestled her safely in his blanketed arms. She opened her eyes at the unexpected movement, the color of them matching the soft curls that stuck out haphazardly from beneath a tiny hospital cap. With her big brown eyes and delicate features, it was obvious that his niece had fortunately inherited the O’Hara genes. The newly christened uncle swallowed the lump in his throat as an inexplicable feeling of joy leapt into his heart. It brought tears to the tough Marine’s eyes. In that moment, he was thoroughly convinced he had never seen a sweeter baby. He took his index finger and softly brushed it against her cheek. The gesture caused her to yawn widely. While she moved and flexed her tiny arms and legs...she didn’t utter a peep. The baby seemed content to fist her small hand around his large finger. The enamored uncle rocked his niece gently as he stared at her in wonder.

“My goodness, what a beautiful little princess I have in my arms, eh?” The baby gave a tiny smile in response, her facial expressions limited by the obtrusive nutritional tube shoved in her pert little nose. “Oh, you like being called a princess?” The baby smiled once more, tightening her hold on his finger. “Well then, darlin’….. I want to name you...Sarah Elyse”. 

For years Matt and his wife Clara had desperately wanted a baby. Sadly, they had never been blessed before his beloved wife passed away.

Deanna watched the exchange with a pang of sadness. 

‘If only Joe would look at the baby the same way Matthew does’. 

She bit back the tears. “Sarah? You want to name her Sarah? Why?”

Matthew glanced up at his sister. “Sarah is ‘Princess’ in Hebrew. This little lady deserves only the most honorable name. Elyse means ‘Child of God’, which she most certainly is. So, Sarah Elyse she will be named”. His tone gave no room for argument. If present circumstances were any indication, his niece would not be raised in the riches of love and comfort that other babies would be. Matt felt if her name gave her some sense of worth, then he would fight to the death to instill that worth. 

A small smile briefly flitted across Deanna’s face as she ran the name through her mind. “Sarah Elyse. I like it.” 

Sarah shivered slightly in his arms as a cool draft crept in the room. He tucked the flannel blanket more securely around her. Then, he fixed Deanna with a look that meant business. 

“If I EVER find out….and I do mean EVER, that Joe has so much as looked at my precious niece the wrong way, I promise you Deanna I will put him six feet under. That’s not a threat. That’s a promise. You tell him I said so. He can take those words to the bank”. As if she sensed his anger, Sarah pulled his finger towards her mouth, cooing softly. He glanced briefly at the baby before returning his attention back to his sister. “You carried her in your body. She’s your child. It is your responsibility to protect her, no matter the cost. Do you understand?” 

Deanna squirmed uncomfortably under the intensity of her brother’s stare. “You may not like Joe, but he would never hurt her. He’s not the monster you make him out to be.”

“I don’t care what you think. I certainly don’t care what that useless husband of yours thinks. What I do care about is my Sarah. My niece. I will not tolerate her being mistreated in any way. You got that?”. Again, his tone left no room for argument.

His sister could only nod in quiet agreement as she stared at the baby in his arms. God only knew how she would raise a baby when she already had no means to take care of herself. A wave of regret washed over her and she blinked back the sudden prick of tears. The myriad of emotions that flickered across her face did not go unnoticed by Matthew. 

“You can come back home, you know”. He removed his right hand from where it was gently patting the baby’s bottom. He enveloped his sister’s hand, careful not to touch the IV. “I realize you’re angry at mother, but I know she would not turn you away, especially now that you have Sarah. It would be for the best. I would feel much…safer if you did”.

She shook her head in protest. “I made my decision a long time ago. She’s the one that kicked me out. I will not change my mind”. 

Realizing that convincing his sister to return home was becoming a futile effort, Matthew shifted the focus back to the tiny bundle in his arms. Her full eyes watched him carefully. Although she was merely a few hours old, Matthew sensed that she was aware of the battle waging within her mother. He could only pray that the wretched hands of abuse that gripped her mother so tightly would not touch her. He planted a soft kiss on her forehead as her eyes began to grow heavy.

“You’re my little princess, aren’t you?” he asked the baby, her lashes fluttering against the nearly translucent skin of her cheeks. “Oh yes,” he nuzzled her nose with his own, “Sarah Elyse….the most beloved princess of all”. 

As the baby slipped peacefully to sleep in the arms of the man who first captured her heart, the woman who had breathed life into that same heart remained quiet and despondent. The magnitude of her daughter’s birth left the young mother deeply depressed and at a total loss of how she would raise a baby on her own.

::END FLASHBACK::

A quiet cough brought Matt to the present and his attention back to his niece. He was so damn proud of her he felt his heart would burst. He thought back to the day she graduated from basic training. While she stood in line for her pinning ceremony, he could barely contain himself from yelling out, ‘That’s my niece! Isn’t she amazing!?’. It was in her blood to be a Marine. Matt knew she would make a fine one and she most certainly had. She’d suffered through so much in her young life. Despite all the heartache she had endured, she turned out to be a woman whose kindness and love for others permeated through everything she touched. Matt loved her with all his heart. He loved her like she was his own daughter. 

‘Hell, she practically is’. He continued to watch her stare out the window, wondering what she was thinking. 

As if she read his thoughts, she turned away from the window abruptly and noticed he was awake. She offered a meager smile as she crossed the room to settle herself on the edge of his bed. She picked up his hand to sandwich between her own and rubbed it affectionately. “Good afternoon Uncle Matt, how are you feeling now?” 

Matt yawned, pulling himself up in bed. “I’m better now. That nap did me a lot of good, that’s for sure.” He looked at her closely, noting the dark circles that were partially hidden underneath quite a bit of concealer. Her earlier tears had washed some of the makeup away, revealing the discolored patches beneath her eyes. He gently touched her cheek. “When was the last time you slept, Sarah?’ 

She shrugged with indifference, her gaze not quite meeting his. “I got a few hours before I came over here to sign the paperwork.” Shifting her weight on the bed, Mac gave him an unconvincing smile. “But what’s more important is that you finally got some rest. I’m glad that medication Dr. Randolph prescribed is helping”. 

Matt chewed his lip thoughtfully as he continued to scrutinize her. She was trying to change the subject, an all-too familiar tactic she utilized when she wanted to avoid talking or answering questions about herself. He decided to let it go for the moment; there would be plenty of time on their return flight for him to lecture on the importance of taking care of herself. He flexed his arms to stretch them as another yawn escaped. “Well, I’m not sure about you, but I think I could stand to eat a few bites. I know they’re not as good as your beloved ‘Beltway Burgers’, but they do cook up a fairly decent burger in the cafeteria”. He worked to pull himself into a sitting position on the edge of the bed, holding onto Mac’s shoulders and waist while she counter balanced his weight. “I’d also like to get up and stretch a bit. I’ve been lying here all day and I am beginning to get stiff”. 

“I think it would do you good to walk around a bit. I’m not hungry, but let’s see if we can’t get you something to eat. You just lead the way”. Mac replied, helping her uncle to his feet. She immediately noted his brief unsteadiness, causing her to instinctively tighten her hold. 

“Geez Sarah, there’s no need to have a vice grip on me. I may be old, but I’ve still got some kick left in me,” he teased. His heart warmed when he saw a brief flicker of joy leap across her face at his remark. He had a sinking feeling that those moments would be few and far between as his illness progressed. 

With a sheepish grin, she realized that, indeed, her hands were gripping him a little too tightly. She loosened her hold but kept her hands firmly beneath his arms. “Sorry Uncle Matt, but you did teach me how to arm wrestle, you know”.

Matt chuckled softly, remembering how, as a little girl, she would copy him in everything he did. She even begged him to teach her how to arm wrestle, much to the chagrin of Deanna. “Yes, I’m quite aware of that. And the fact that you got to where you could beat me almost every time. Although, I usually let you win”. He gave her a mischievous wink knowing that she would playfully take the bait.

Mac gave him her signature raised eyebrow. “Oh, is that so? Well then, care to challenge me to a match?” She gently poked him in the chest before offering diplomatically, “I’ll even let you pick which arm”. 

With a grin on his face, Matt slowly rose to his full height, sticking his hand out to shake with hers in mock agreement. “You got yourself a deal, baby duck! Now, let’s get going before all the good burgers are gone!”. Leaning on to each other for support, they slowly made their way down the hall to the cafeteria, arm in arm, laughing like old times. For a moment in time, the clouds hanging over them parted, allowing a small ray of sunshine through to warm their spirits. 

1630  
USS Patrick Henry  
Conference Room  
Somewhere in the Atlantic

“Unless you get to talking or have more eye witnesses, this is all I have to go on. I’ll be honest with you Lieutenant West, it isn’t much,” Harm stated, reading over the documents on West’s court case. He perched himself on the edge of the table, crossing his arms over his chest as he gave his client a pointed look. 

The young pilot shook his head, gesturing his hands in resignation. “Do the best you can, sir. I wasn’t going to risk those men’s lives just to save an aircraft! I’m telling you, there was something not right about that bird! It didn’t feel right flying it! The preflight inspection that was done...Well it seemed rushed and I think corners were cut! If I had landed that bird when I was told, something bad would have happened! I know I don’t have anything other than a hunch to go on”. He knew he faced the possibility of losing his wings, rank, and a month’s loss of pay, not to mention several charges, the least being a DDO. But he was truthful in the testimony he provided. As his mother often told him, ‘The proof is in the pudding’. While he appreciated his uncle’s insistence to hire the best JAG lawyer available, West was not comfortable in the knowledge that his uncle teetered on the edge of what was legally allowed regarding his involvement with the investigation. He was also very much aware of the scuttlebutt around ship insinuating favoritism was at play. West knew he needed to win his case based on his merits and the facts alone, not because his uncle felt he could throw his political weight around. 

“Easy Commander, save that for the courtroom!” Harm attempted to calm his client down, moving from the edge of the table to occupy a seat in front of the young man. Lieutenant West was right; a hunch was nothing more than an empty feeling, and “a feeling” wasn’t going to help him win this case. There was no other choice; he had to get West out of the hotseat and back in the air if he ever wanted to see his wings again. 

“I know, but it makes me angry that I’m being prosecuted because I decided not to risk the lives of my fellow shipmates. I’m telling you, my pre-flight inspection was not up to snuff,” he replied with frustration.

Glancing at his watch, Harm realized that the hour he had set aside for the interview was over. He was also scheduled to do the aircraft inspection on the half-hour. “I am heading to the hangar for the aircraft inspection. I’ll let you know what I find, if anything. In the meantime, I want you to give careful thought to anything, anything, you might have forgotten, seen, heard, or overlooked that day. No matter how inconsequential you may think it is, it could be the one crucial point we need in this case”.

West nodded solemnly, trusting that his lawyer would uncover the truth. He saluted crisply, “Yes sir, aye aye sir!” before he was escorted back to his quarters.

Harm waited for the hatch to close behind the young lieutenant before throwing his notebook down on the table with a curse. The investigation was taking longer than he both anticipated and wanted. Despite the SecNav and the Admiral sharing the duty of breathing down his neck, it would be another day, if not two, before they could complete their findings. While his brain had been focused mostly on the case, the part that wasn’t seemed to grow exponentially as he worried about Mac. And as his worry increased, so did his desire to be home. It was becoming unbearable. The first day he had laid eyes on her in the White House Rose Garden, the two formed a bond that had yet to be broken. Tested and stretched for sure, but not broken. The fires that, at times, threatened to consume them, only seemed to strengthen that bond. If the truth were told, Harm felt “out of sorts” even before he’d flown out to the Patrick Henry. It bewildered him to think of what situation would have caused Mac such distress, but whatever it was, he knew it was serious. The Admiral had not been forthcoming in his information regarding her assignment, and it worried Harm deeply. He didn’t want to consider the possibility that she had been deployed; too many men and women had already left for the battlefield only to return home in a flag draped casket. He couldn’t bear it if anything happened to Mac.

‘Rabb, what the hell is wrong with you! She’s not yours! Hell, she probably doesn’t even feel the same way! You are just ‘friends’ after all, right?’

Noticing the time on his watch, he dragged his hands over his tired face. He picked up his notebook, and headed down to the hangar. 

‘You are ‘just friends’ after all, right?’ 

Deep down, he knew he had been lying to himself for far too long. 

2030  
JAG HQ  
Falls Church, VA

AJ closed his office door, thankful that the weekend was finally here. He was mentally exhausted. After several hours spent reviewing one report, after another, from Lt. Singer, AJ realized what a hard load Mac had really juggled. She not only had her cases, but Harm’s as well. She had managed to do a lot of legwork in the brief time that she’d had possession of them. To say he was impressed was an understatement. Thanks to her expertise and unwavering commitment to uncover the truth, Mac’s client, Petty Officer Leckherd, had been relieved of his DDO accusation. Harm’s client, on the other hand, had not been so fortunate. Lt. Commander Bardstin was found guilty on two counts of vehicular manslaughter along with destruction of government property. Lt. Singer had represented both clients as best she could with her limited time to prepare, and in AJ’s opinion, Harm’s client deserved exactly what he got. 

‘Any man that steps out on his family for a mistress and then kills two innocent children because of reckless driving deserves to be buried under the jail,’ he thought bitterly to himself while he adjusted his cover. 

His eyes took in the dimly lit, empty bullpen. It was quiet, the whirring noises of fax machines, ringing of telephones, and office chatter quelled for the evening. It was well past normal working hours, and as such, his staff had already secured for the day. He signed his name to the building security check point sheet and his attention settled on Mac’s dark office. He was worried about her. While most Commanding Officers overlooked the importance of fostering meaningful relationships with their staff, AJ was different. Life’s experiences had taught him a multitude of lessons, but the most important he learned was to recognize a good thing when he had it! In his previous billets, he could not recall having people serve under him who cared so deeply for one another. For the first time in his 30 year naval career, AJ felt at home, and at peace. He hoped that Mac would not shut out her friends and allow them to be there for her during what anyone would consider a grim season of life. Deep in his thoughts, he didn’t notice that he wasn’t alone. 

“Admiral! What are you still doing here? Its late!“

The voice startled him clear out of his thoughts. It was Lieutenant Harriet Sims. 

“Dammit Lt. Sims, what the hell are you trying to do!? Send me to an early grave? Make me lose my hair?” he swore, running a hand over his bald head as he looked her over with surprise. 

Harriet had her overcoat draped over one arm while pinning a bulging stack of file folders against her body with the other. She wore a tired but pleasant smile, the marked expression of a woman juggling the various demands that a naval career and family brought. 

Slightly embarrassed, Harriet’s cheeks flushed a delicate pink while she unsuccessfully attempted to stifle a giggle. “No sir, and at the risk of being written up on conduct unbecoming, you are very handsome, even sans hair”. 

AJ gave her a wry grin. “Tell that to my ex-wife. She bought me hair growth shampoo every chance she got! I threw it away every chance I got”. 

He couldn’t help but shake his head at the memory. Marcella often told him, during the dissolution of their marriage, that the Navy not only took her husband away, but his hair as well. ‘I can’t really blame her for leaving me,’ he agreed with a pang of regret. If the failure of his union with her had taught him anything, it was the importance of paying attention to the trivial things in life; they were oftentimes the biggest and most deeply missed. 

She gave him a sympathetic smile. “Sir, if it’s any consolation, you carry it well”. 

Amusement tugged at the corner of AJ’s mouth. “I’ll remember that comment when your next performance appraisal comes due, Lieutenant”.

Harriet motioned towards the clock above their heads with the hands pointing at 1850. “Not to be nosy, sir, but why are you still here? It’s almost 2100.”

He followed her gaze, noting that it was indeed well past his normal work schedule. “Well, I supposed I could ask you the same”. 

She shifted the multiple case folders in her arms. “I was finishing these reports for Lt. Singer. She has court tomorrow. If you recall, my babysitter called about little AJ being sick and I had to leave for the day until Bud could get home and take over.” She jerked her chin towards the stack. “It’s a lot easier to get work done here than at home with a clingy toddler”. While Harriet loved her son, she also loved being efficient and dependable in her job. There was nothing worse than having a sick child at home. It made her grateful the Admiral was accommodating when it came to her attendance. It was just one of the many reasons why she wasn't interested in leaving JAG, despite having been offered higher positions at other billets. There were some things she knew one could not put a price tag or rank on, and having an understanding C.O was one. 

She looked at him curiously. While AJ had been known to work past 1700 at times, it was a rare occasion for him to be at the office this late in the evening. “Sir, is there something I can help you with?”

“Oh no, I was just wrapping up for the night”. He reached for the stack of files in her arms. “Go home, Lieutenant. Your son needs you. This can wait”. 

Harriet gave him an apprehensive look before hesitantly transferring the stack to his outstretched hand. “Are you sure sir? Lt. Singer has court in the morning and it is imperative that she have these files notated”. 

“Yes Lieutenant, I am sure. Now, go home and please, take care of my namesake” he ordered gently. 

She beamed proudly at the mention of her son’s name. “Yes, sir!” Starting towards the double doors, she stopped abruptly as a thought occurred to her. “Sir, is Colonel MacKenzie okay? I haven’t seen her in the office this week. Bud said you’d reassigned her caseload. I didn’t see her name on the TDY board”. 

AJ hesitated. He wasn’t sure how much he needed to divulge to Harriet. He assessed her quietly, carefully contemplating what he would say. He felt stuck between a rock and a hard place. His concern for Mac’s emotional wellbeing arguing with the need to respect her privacy. However, Harriet’s genuine concern was apparent, and AJ knew his Chief-of-Staff would shut everyone out if they were unaware of her situation. He motioned her over to the bench adjacent to Mac’s empty office. A painful memory flashed across his mind as he was reminded of another bench, just on the other side of the bullpen doors, where another heartbreaking revelation had been delivered. That time it had been the other half of ‘Roberts and Roberts’, but nonetheless the news had been a brutal blow to everyone at JAG. He shook the unpleasant memory from his mind as he took a seat on the bench, setting the stack of files aside. Harriet followed suite, her blue eyes searching for the source responsible for his change in demeanor. Whatever it was, it was serious. Her heartbeat quickened, but she chose to stay silent while she watched him gather his words. 

“What I am about to share with you is to be kept between the two of us until I say otherwise, is that understood?”

Harriet shook her head solemnly, her eyes never leaving his. “You have my word, sir”. 

AJ briefly nodded, running a hand over his head. “Mac got a call the other night from Leavenworth. It was about her uncle, Colonel Matthew O’Hara. He has been feeling ill for several week. The prison medical staff assumed he simply picked up a bug from other inmates”.

The younger officer remained quiet, nodding for him to continue.

With a sigh, AJ explained. “When he didn’t improve, they ran some tests. Colonel O’Hara has Stage Four Stomach Cancer. Mac was told he doesn’t have much time left, maybe two to three months, if that. She flew to Leavenworth a few days ago. She’s bringing him home so that he can spend what little time he has with her”.

A small gasp of anguish and surprise escaped Harriet’s lips. She felt as though the wind had been knocked right out of her. Although she had never met Colonel O’Hara, she knew how close the two of them were. Mac had mentioned, on more than one occasion, that he was responsible for turning her life around. Tears pricked her eyes. She cleared her throat. “Does Commander Rabb know?” 

AJ shook his head. “No. Mac specifically asked me not to inform him of her uncle’s illness until after he returns from the Patrick Henry. She doesn’t want him to be distracted from the case involving the SecNav’s nephew.” 

“But sir, she needs him, no matter what she says! She doesn’t need to go through this alone!” 

He held up a hand in defense, halting her outburst. “I know Harriet, believe me, I know. You know as well as I do that you cannot push the Colonel into doing something she is not ready to do. You know she thinks it makes her appear weak. I told her she’d either tell him herself or I would. Until then, you cannot breathe a word about this to anyone, not even Bud. She’s due to return home with him within the next few days.”

Harriet stared into her lap, a few tears slipping onto the dark fabric of her uniform skirt. “Oh this is just awful sir. I just don’t understand it. Why do bad things happen to good people? The Colonel’s already been through so much, you think she’d get a break, you know”. Frustrated, she wiped the angry tears from her eyes, valiantly cursing life and its cruel circumstances. “She’s been a godsend to us. I don’t know what Bud and I would do without her”. Mac was someone that Harriet not only deeply admired, but respected. Although Mac was nearly two ranks her senior, the two had a sisterly bond outside the office. A bond that had only grown stronger in the wake of her infant daughter’s unexpected death. Harriet could always count on Mac’s objectivity and gentle advice when she found herself in need, especially if it concerned Bud. She treated their son like he was her own. No matter how busy Mac was, she always made time for her. Harriet knew the feelings Mac held for Harm ran far deeper than friendship even though the stubborn Marine had yet to openly admit it. Harriet also knew Harm felt the same way. She wished they would just see what everyone else saw so plainly! After all they had been through together, the two deserved the small piece of happiness that marriage brought to an otherwise harsh world. 

Her C.O. affectionately patted her hands where they were idling twisting her cover. “Harriet, if you ever find an answer to those questions, I’d sure like to hear them”. He rose to his feet, grabbing the stack of folders with one hand while extending his other to assist her to her feet. “And with that said, it’s very late. You need to be on your way home. I’ll walk you to your vehicle.” 

Breaking out of her thoughts, Harriet accepted his outstretched hand. “Thank you, sir, and thank you for letting me know about Colonel O’Hara. I’ll keep it to myself. You have my word”. 

AJ trusted his officer’s judgement but answered the question before she could get the words out. “I’ll keep you updated as I know more information”. He walked Harriet to her car, ensuring that the vehicle started and she was departing the premises before getting into his own vehicle. Although they headed in opposite directions, their thoughts were centered on the same people …Harm, Mac and her uncle.

::End Chapter Five::


	6. Chapter 6

Title: “I’ll Be There” Chapter Six  
Author: Macattack102712, aka “Mac Mackenzie”  
Publish Date: Original Publish date: August 2002, redone and completed Fall/Winter 2017.  
Pairing: Harm/Mac  
Category: Romance/Angst  
Summary: Mac gets devastating news regarding her beloved Uncle Matt. Her JAG family must come together to get her thru the hardest trial of her life. In the process, she learns the tremendous gift and power that comes with letting love in.  
Author’s Notes: Please see previous chapters.

0630 CST  
Memories Bed and Breakfast  
Room 230  
Fredonia, Kansas

Daylight was emerging like a gentle whisper over the horizon and soft rays of sunlight were seeping through the gauzy fabric of the curtains that covered Mac’s window. There was no need for the sun to wake her up; her internal clock had beat it to the punch. The moment her eyes opened in acknowledgement of the new day and her mind flipped on to churn out the many tasks on her “to-do list”. The day was bittersweet. It was the day that her uncle would be released to go to his physical home, but in a cruel trade with fate, he would exchange his physical home for his spiritual one in just a few weeks’ time. She was more than ready to return home with her uncle safely at her side.

She rubbed her gritty, tired eyes with her fists, clearing the cobwebs of fitful sleep away. It had taken some time, longer than usual, for her to escape the familiar choking hand of insomnia, and she knew it had everything to do with the situation at hand. Her eyes stung with exhaustion and they burned dryly like coals from a dwindling campfire. Stretching her arms, Mac noted a “nagging” stiffness, a gentle reminder that either her age had begun to rear its ugly head or she had unknowingly slept on a bed of jagged rocks. She dragged her aching body into the bathroom, grimacing as the harsh lights from the vanity glared down upon her. Today was not going to be an easy day for either of them, but Mac had made a promise to herself that she would not show weakness or allow herself to set up residence in Pity Land. She turned on the- shower head as she began undressing, praying that she would somehow find the strength to keep it together Her thoughts, as they so often did these days, wandered to Harm. She wondered how the investigation was going and if he had made any headway.

‘At least he’s on a carrier. It’s where he’s always wanted to be,’ she thought to herself. The hot water cascaded over her tired body, soothing the aching, tense muscles. ‘That’s where he is happiest. It’s not with me at JAG’.

With a pang of agony, she was reminded of a day, in the not so distant past, when he had walked into her apartment and proceeded to upend her life. In retrospect, she should have been more supportive, but the sudden news of his departure was like a punch in the gut. Her heart and mind immediately had gone to war; one trying to convince her that his departure had everything to do with finishing “unfinished business” and nothing to do with leaving her. And the other part, that wretched part of her that breathed new life into old insecurities, worked hard to convince her that she was NOT good enough to make him want to stay. It had taken some time to resolve the two, and while she had come to mostly peaceful terms with it, there remained still a part that questioned her inherent worth. Her internal clock chimed in, reminding her she had less than thirty minutes to get dressed and be at the prison to transition Matthew into her care. No matter what, she would not, could not show how much his illness was affecting her. There would be time enough for tears later. Shutting off the shower, she leaned her forehead against the warm tile, summoning up the strength to face the day.

‘Lord please give me the strength I need to get through this’.

1156 CST  
Fort Leavenworth Correctional Facility  
Infirmary Ward  
Leavenworth, Kansas

Mac restlessly shifted her weight from one leg to the other. Her impatience was increasing significantly while her uncle was given one last physical exam and the final paperwork signed for his release. She was more than ready to get the two of them on their way home. The earliest available flight to Dulles was not until the next morning and she had been lucky to get that. She decided to give the Admiral a call once she got Matt settled in at the B&B. Just as she stood to ask the nurse how much longer it would be, the door to his room swung open and a medical technician pushed Matthew’s wheelchair through the doorway. Chaplain Gaines was right behind them.Breathing a sigh of relief, Mac picked up the small box that contained his personal belongings. It pained her to know that for a man who had lived life so large and passionately, his entire life’s possessions were reduced to nothing more than what filled a flimsy cardboard box. It was as though the world felt he wasn’t worth even the recycled pulp used to manufacture the box. She pinned it tightly against her chest with one hand while the other reached out to retrieve the yellow medical records folder from the technician.

“I take it you’re ready to go, Uncle Matt?”.

Matt jerked his thumb over his shoulder, laughing heartily, “Well, I don’t know about you, but I sure as hell am! This ain’t the friendliest place on earth and they are more than eager to give me my marching orders. I say we blow this popsicle stand before they change their minds!”

She couldn’t help but grin at his jovial attitude and leaned down to plant a soft kiss on his cheek. “I was ready to take you home yesterday! Let’s get out of here. There’s a small café down the road that I’ve heard is really good. How about we get you some lunch before we head back to the B&B?

“Sounds good to me!” He reached for the box in her arms, settling it in his lap. “Here, let me hold this. Your arms are full and mine are not the strongest today. You mind giving me a push?”

Mac dropped the yellow folder in the box and made sure everything was secure. “Of course not. Let’s get you home.” She pushed him toward the exit doors with Chaplain Gaines and the medical technician following behind. Once at the car, Gaines shook Matt’s hand firmly, giving him a crisp salute.

“God be with you, my friend. It has been a pleasure to be a part of your life. And I will treasure our friendship for the rest of mine”.

Matthew returned both gestures. “Thank you for showing me so much kindness. I may not have made the best decisions when it came to how I lived my life, but I don’t regret having met you because of those decisions”.

Gaines then turned to Mac where she stood with a supportive arm around her uncle. “He is so lucky to have you. I wish you much peace and consolation in the days to come”. He pulled a card from his wallet before handing it to her. “Here is my contact information. I’m available should you need me. Any day, Any time.”

Mac accepted the card with a sting of tears. “I thank you, sir. You have been so kind to my uncle. I will never forget that”. She shook his hand firmly, “God be with you, too”. She assisted Matthew into the back seat before joining him from the other side. As the car pulled away from the prison, she understood while Matt was free from life as an inmate, he was still a prisoner of Death.

1230 Zulu  
Officer Quarters  
USS Patrick Henry  
Somewhere in the Atlantic

Harm put the finishing touches on his report, checking his watch as he clicked the ‘submit’ button. If his suspicions were correct, it was possible that he had found the critical breaking point needed in the case with not a moment to spare. Now all he could do was wait for the Admiral’s response. Satisfied that the report had been successfully transmitted, he allowed his mind to wander. His eyes settled on the framed picture of Mac, himself, and their godson, AJ Roberts. Aside from the photo of the two of them at the NATO Ball a few years earlier, this was his favorite by far. It had been a beautiful Saturday afternoon the day it was taken. It had been sunny and warm, with a slight breeze keeping the temperature just right. They had volunteered to babysit their godson so that Harriet and Bud could go car shopping without the hassle of toting a toddler around. Later, they arranged to meet the little family at a local park. The photo had been a candid one, snapped by Harriet in the spur of the moment.

At the sight of Harm and Mac, the little boy had squirmed out of Bud’s arms, to run at a tipsy gait towards the two. Mac, having been a stride ahead of Harm, was the first to reach him. She eagerly hoisted him high in the air, his squeals of delight echoing the joy that lit up her face. Her smile was equally as bright as the look of total enamor in her eyes. Harm was captured looking over her shoulder with a broad grin on his handsome face, his hands outstretched in a mock attempt to tickle the boy. To any passerby, the three looked like a typical family; a loving husband and wife enjoying the day with their adorable son. Harriet had felt the photo opportunity was too precious to pass up, and so with a discrete but quick snap of the camera, the moment was preserved for eternity. The two had been completely unaware of the camera; Mac was caught up in laughing at her godson and Harm was enamored with watching both. They were pleasantly surprised the following week when both found a framed copy on their desks with a cheerful note of thanks from Harriet. He had lost count as to the number of times he had stared at her in this photo. His eyes were drawn to her like a moth to a flame; completely mesmerized by everything about her. The quality of the photo was superior, having captured the essence of her beauty like no other. The sun valiantly lit up the subtle tones of red in her silky, mahogany brown hair, but it paled in comparison to the expression of utter joy on her face. The image of the two most precious people in his world filled Harm’s heart with a sense of longing he could no longer deny.

::FLASHBACK::

“Harm! If you don’t stop feeding that child chocolate ice-cream, he’s going to be so wired he won’t sleep for weeks! And you’re getting it all over his clothes. Harriet’s gonna have a fit!” Mac admonished, using one hand to wipe AJ’s chocolate-smeared mouth while the other worked to keep her own frozen treat away from their godson’s grubby little hands. The motion proved to be a vain attempt because the antsy toddler began to protest at being restrained in his uncle’s arms. With a sigh of mock frustration, she wadded up the dirty wet wipes and tossed them in the plastic sack. “I don’t know why I keep wiping his mouth, you just keep shoving it in his face”. She motioned towards the dark stains already forming on the navy shortsleeved bodysuit peeking out from under his matching striped shortalls.

Harm’s face took on an expression of feigned confusion as he flipped AJ over arms, tickling the boy’s ribcage which only resulted in shrieks of laughter. "Lighten up, will ya Mac? Just because his aunt is a tough old jarhead doesn’t mean he has to be squared away like the barracks at Camp Pendleton”.

She shot him one of her notoriously scathing looks as she unwrapped her ice-cream sandwich, biting into it with gusto. A wad of the sweet filling oozed out from the side, falling onto the blanket they were sitting on. She briefly glanced at the blob before shrugging with indifference. Oh well, what was the use? She was going to have to wash the blanket anyway.

He tickled AJ some more, eliciting another round of shrieks and giggles. “Besides, it’s fun to get a little dirty now and then”.

The comment was innocent enough given their setting, but not so innocent regarding the feelings that simmered just beneath the surface. Had an onlooker overheard the conversation, nothing would have been considered out of the ordinary. But then again, nothing ever was ordinary between these two. Two lawyers, who were normally so gifted when it came to words, just couldn’t seem to get it right when it came to vocalizing their feelings for each other.

Mac nearly choked on her sandwich at the words. She could have sworn the temperature had suddenly increased at least ten degrees. The way he was looking at her nearly took her breath away; the intensity of his gaze threatened to bore right through her very soul. A gust of wind chose an opportune moment to stir, causing several strands of her hair to stick against a spot of chocolate left unbeknownst on her lips.

As of its own accord, his hand reached out to free the captive strands, his fingers lingering longer than what was probably necessary. The moment his hand touched her lips, a jolt of electricity shot through him, setting him ablaze in an all-consuming inferno. He knew she felt it too, if the expression on her face was any indicator.

  
For Mac, his touch sent a rush of sublime warmth throughout every vein, nook, and cranny in her body. She watched him with her wide, full eyes, unable to tear herself away from his heated gaze. Her mind briefly went back to the day that she had returned from burying her father. She had sat in the Admiral’s office as she talked to Harm about the unexpected events that unfolded. The arrangement of flowers he had sent to the funeral home were beautiful. She had thanked him for this and it was then that his expression seemed to change imperceptibly, yet noticeable all the same. The room seemed to get darker, the outside world pulled away like the retreating warmth from a winter sunset. Then, he had looked at her the same way he was looking at her now, as though he was seeing her in a way that he had not seen, yet had seen so many times before. She could swear that there was something else in his gaze. Was it love? Was it an indication that he wanted more than just friendship? She searched his eyes for an answer to her unvoiced questions but was unable to fully discern what he was thinking, what he was feeling.

  
‘Hold up Mackenzie! Quit imagining things. You’re just ‘the girl next door’ in his eyes. Nothing more!’ one part of her mind argued, that old stubborn part that refused to allow her to believe that she had any right to even the smallest slice of happiness.

She was just his partner. Friend. Yep, just good ol’ Mac. Just one of the guys.The one woman he knew he could count on to be there for him when everyone else had left. The one he could count on to protect his heart and secrets at all costs, even if it meant protecting him from herself.

‘You know better than that! Stop sulking and tell the man how you feel!’ the other voice in her head argued back, unwilling to stay silent.

AJ looked between the two with a confused look on his tiny face, thoroughly displeased that his godfather’s attention was no longer aimed solely at him. Frowning, he reached over Harm’s outstretched legs, pulling up a fistful of dandelions and grass to sprinkle on his olive-green shorts.

The motion shook Harm from the intensity of the moment. He swallowed hard, wrenching his eyes from hers and turning his attention back to his godson. Thankful for the interruption, he attempted to regain control of his run-away emotions.

“Ohhhh, this means war buddy” He picked the stems from where they lay scattered on the material of his shorts, playfully shoving them down the front of the boy’s collar. AJ giggled, scrunching up his tiny face as the blades of grass tickled his skin.

“Unca ‘arm! Tickuws!”

She felt the rush of blood flood her cheeks, cursing fate for its ill-timing while simultaneously thanking her godson for the interruption. She was not sure how much longer she would have handled his gaze, much less his touch. Her senses had jumped into hyper drive, leaving a burning trail of desire and god only knew what else in its wake. She breathed a sigh of relief while she nervously looked around for something to occupy her thoughts…. anything besides the man that made her entire body go haywire at just the slightest touch. She wanted to tell him how she felt! Oh how she wanted to! But the voice of reason always won out, sending her scrambling back to her safe place and away from the risk that was too great to take. Unbeknownst to her, the man sitting beside her was attempting to do the same. And both were failing miserably. It was in that moment Harm knew he could no longer deny the feelings that ran far deeper than friendship. In the courtroom, his words flowed as smooth and rich as warm melted caramel. But when it came to the woman sitting just a hair’s breadth away, the words stuck like molasses in sub-zero temperatures. And he was clueless as to what to do about it……

:: END FLASHBACK::

With the memory of her lips underneath his fingertips, Harm made a decision. He snatched the receiver from its cradle, deciding the expense of making a sea-to-land phone call that was non-work related was worth the potential verbal reprimand from the ship’s XO. He quickly dialed the familiar number by heart, his fingers skating nimbly over the buttons. His heart began racing as he said a silent prayer that the intended recipient would answer. He so desperately needed to hear her voice, if nothing more than to settle his nerves. Nervously, he bounced the eraser end of his pencil against the desk, the tat-tat-tat sound seeming to echo loudly in the small expanse of room. Several agonizing rings later, the warm voice belonging to his partner came across the crackly line.

‘This is Lieutenant Colonel Sarah Mackenzie. I’m sorry I missed your call, but if you’ll leave your name, number, and a brief message, I will get back with you as soon as possible’.

An inexplicable wave of disappointment mixed with alarm washed over him at the recording.

‘She’s probably in an area with no reception or she’s busy. No need to panic’.

Harm waited briefly for the message tone, swallowing the nervous lump that appeared unexpectedly in his throat.

“Hey Mac, it’s uh...it’s me…your partner, Harm”.

‘Smooth Rabb, real smooth. For Christ’s sake, she knows who you are!’.

“Look, uh….I just wanted to check on you to see how you’re doing. I know I left you in sort of a mess with all those cases and I’m real sorry about that. Um…the Admiral says you’re away on an assignment, but he didn’t say-”.

A knock at his bulkhead door broke his concentration. Aware that he was quickly running up one very expensive phone charge, he hurried to finish his message. “I hope everything’s alright. I’ll call you again later, okay? Bye.”

He ran a frustrated hand through his hair and over his face as he settled the receiver back in its rightful place. “Enter!” he shouted distractedly towards the door, wholly unconcerned with whoever was on the other side. Sturgis poked his head around the corner, a hesitant look on his face. Upon seeing Harm’s downtrodden demeanor, he quickly stepped inside and shut the door behind him. harm pressed his fingers against his temples. It had already been a long day and it was barely past lunchtime.

“You talked to her?” he jerked his head toward the receiver he had just hung up.

‘Boy, nothing gets by him, does it?’

Harm shook his head, idly twisting his pen between his fingers as he leaned back in his chair. “No. Got her voice mail instead. I haven’t heard from her since we left headquarters”.

Sturgis pursed his lips in thought, propping his tall frame against the closed bulkhead door. “I take it the Admiral hasn't told you anything else”. It was more of a statement, really, than a question.

“Yep. That would be a correct”. He threw his pen at the desktop organizer with the intention of it landing in its rightful slot. His aim was off, though, and the instrument hit the edge of the desk instead. Sturgis’ quick reflex plucked the pen from its descent before it could hit the floor. Harm looked at him in surprise. “Man, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were moonlighting as a pilot. Those are some sharp reflexes you’ve got”.

Sturgis grinned, successfully tossing it into the organizer. “I’ll attribute that to my baseball days at the Academy. Nothing quite beats the feeling of catching a sidewinder coming down the middle when the game is tied and bases are loaded”. He folded his arms over his chest. “Look buddy, I’m sure everything is okay. I’d bet good money she is just as busy as we’ve been”.

Harm was silent, his eyes settling on the woman in the framed photo. He had never felt so close to and yet so far away from her.

Sturgis followed his gaze, noticing the framed picture of the object of their discussion. Remembering their previous conversations, he couldn’t help it, he just had to poke the bear. “Hmmm…..sure is strange for a man who claims his work partner and he are “just friends” to keep a framed photo of her on his desk when he travels”.

“Sturrrrgis!” Harm groaned, biting the inside of his cheek as he leaned back further in his chair. “For the last time, we’re-“

“Just friends. Yeah yeah, I got that poorly written memo a hundred times. But tell me this, Mr. Run-From-His-Feelings,” Sturgis gave him a dubious look, “What man keeps a picture in his seabag, a framed picture no less, of his work partner, if they are nothing more than “just friends”.

“She’s holding our godson, Sturgis. We were picking him up at the park. Harriet took it!” He gestured wildly to the picture as if this would make his rationale more believable.

“Oh, and Harriet has never given you a single picture of little AJ by himself? Nice try, Harm, but you really need to come up with a better argument than that. Better yet, here’s a novel idea, how about you just admit that you’re in love with her and tell her so”.

Harm stood up so fast his chair nearly toppled over. If Sturgis hadn’t already had his back flat against the bulkhead door, he would’ve been forced to take a step backwards at the sudden movement. “What part of: ‘She doesn’t love me like I love her’.... Do You Not Understand!”

The words came out before he even realized what he was saying. The room was suddenly quiet, save for the quiet ticking of the clock above their heads. Sturgis never took his eyes off his friend as he verbally leveled with him.

“I may not understand a lot of things in this life, but what I do understand is that if you don’t take a leap of faith with what you want most in life, it will slip right through your fingers.” Sturgis stared at the man whom he’d known for the better part of fifteen years. His heart breaking at the desperation and fear so clearly etched in his eyes. “I know that any woman who would travel halfway across the world to help a man search for his missing father…..and that the same woman would use her gifts to find you in the middle of the ocean…. must either be insane, or so deeply in love with said man that she’d lay down her life for him any day of the week. If that’s not love, well, I don’t know what the fuck LOVE is.”

Momentarily taken aback at his friend’s uncharacteristic vulgarity, Harm opened his mouth to speak but found that his words failed him. Sturgis glanced at him over his shoulder, his hand paused on the bulkhead door. “Don’t let her slip away, Harm. She’s worth all the risk in the world”. And with that he exited, shutting the door with a resounding bang.

Harm collapsed in his chair, his eyes focused only on the smiling face of the woman who owned his heart. He finally let the tears come, but for what he did not know. He only knew that his heart ached from missing her so much that it took his breath away.

“I’m coming home Sarah, and when I do, you and me are going to have that talk”.

1330 CST  
Cornerstone Café  
Leavenworth, Kansas

Matt stole a glance at his niece as she gazed absentmindedly out the window beside the table. She sat there with the cup of coffee she was nursing but she hadn’t even opened the menu. In the three days she’d been with him, he hadn't seen her eat a single meal. She picked at her food and just snacked. This continued to disturb him. When pressed, she used the excuse of no appetite or claimed she’d already eaten. If he were a betting man, he was willing to bet good money that she hadn’t slept either if the dark circles around her eyes were any indicator. He was at a loss as to what to do or who to turn to for help. Matthew knew her like the back of his hand; Hell, he’d been the one to change her first diaper in the hospital when Deanna refused to accept that she had, in fact, given birth. Two people came to his mind: Admiral Chegwidden and Commander Rabb. He filed these names away for later discussion.

At that moment, a spunky but clean-cut waitress bobbed over to their table to inquire if they were ready to place their order. “Hello there! What can I get for you two this afternoon?”

“I’ll have the soup of the day and a salad, please” he requested, closing the menu while the waitress jotted down his request.

She turned to Mac with a raised eyebrow, her hand poised over the notepad. “And for you, ma’am?”

The sudden question startled Mac out of her reverie and she nearly knocked over her cup of coffee. She gestured towards her beverage. “Oh, I’ll just settle for this, thanks”.

‘No surprise here’. Matthew gave her a pointed look.

“Sarah, you didn’t eat anything today. In fact, I haven’t seen you eat a bite since you got here.”

“Um, yeah, I’m not really all that hungry”. She gave an unconvincing smile as she gathered up their menus to hand to the waitress.

“I’ll be right back with your soup and salad, then. If you change your mind, just holler for me,” the waitress cheerily replied, taking the menus from Mac before departing the table.

Matt bit back a sigh of frustration. ‘File that under a list of things to lecture her about’. Besides, he had other questions to ask.

“So Sarah….where’s that handsome partner of yours? You haven’t mentioned him since you got here”.

Taking a sip of her hot beverage, she twirled the stir stick in the murky liquid as a tinge of pink graced her cheeks at his description of Harm. She chose to ignore his comment. “I’m not sure if you saw the news the other day, but there was an incident aboard the USS Patrick Henry involving a dangerous touch-and-go landing with one of their aircraft. The pilot is under investigation for a DDO and damage to the aircraft.”

Matthew nodded. “Yeah, I heard. I’m not surprised Harm was assigned that case, with him being a pilot and all. I know he’s not active with a squadron anymore, but I bet that pilot is glad to have him on his side”. He noted, with silence, the faint tinge of red that graced his niece’s cheek.

‘Oh yeah, there’s definitely something there’.

Mac took a sip of her coffee. “I have no doubt that the Admiral and SecNav are putting his feet to the fire to get this settled without a lot of media coverage.”  
The waitress came back at that moment to deliver Matthew’s meal. He voiced his appreciation, grabbing a pack of crackers from the bread basket while nodding at Mac to continue.

“I’m not sure how long the investigation will take. I didn’t get a chance to talk to him before we both flew out that night”.

Lightbulbs clicked in Matt’s head. ‘Well, that explains a lot’.

“I take it he doesn’t know about my situation?”

Mac shook her head. “No. The Admiral is the only one that knows. I asked him not to tell Harm. I didn’t want anything to take his attention off the investigation. He can’t afford to be distracted; this investigation is too important”.

Emptying the last pack of crackers into his soup bowl, he reached across the table for her hand. “Sarah, you’re important too. You must know our time together is quickly coming to an end. And you know you shouldn’t go through this by yourself. You need to let your friends in…. Even if it’s just a little”.

Mac willed herself not to cry, her mouth trembling slightly as she fought to form the words. “I’ll be okay, Uncle Matt. Everyone’s got enough of their own problems to be worried with mine. Besides, I’m a Marine, remember? We’re tough”.

He squeezed her hand affectionately, seeing the fear of losing him so clearly in her eyes. “I know that, baby duck. I also know that it’s okay to show emotion. It’s okay to ask for help. And it’s ok-kay,” he emphasized the last part, “to let people in your heart, Sarah. Not everyone who comes into your life…. is there to trample it. It is okay to need someone to love, Sarah”.

She met his soft gaze with her own, albeit watery. “Uncle Matt, you know I love you more than anything, don’t you? You are my entire world.”

He brought his other hand above to sandwich hers and tightened his grip. A thick wad of emotion lodged deep in his throat. “I do know, baby duck. And you know you’re the brightest star to have ever lit up my life, don’t you?”

Mac could only nod in agreement. “Yeah”. She kissed his hand, sniffling back the tears before the dam of her emotions could burst. She gestured towards the bowl in front of him. “Your soup’s gonna get cold”.

Matt saw the clamping down of her emotions and knew the conversation was over for the time-being anyway.

“Ah yes, nothing worse than cold soup!”

The two fell into a comfortable silence as they both allowed themselves to get lost in their own thoughts.

 

2200 Zulu  
Officer Quarters  
USS Patrick Henry  
Somewhere in the Atlantic

It was 2200 and he had read every newspaper article printed in the last four hundred years. He had counted enough sheep that he felt quite certain he had counted all of the United States plus Scotland’s sheep population. And he had sung the ’99 Bottles of Beer’ song so many times that he was fairly sure he had counted enough to fill six truckloads of the intoxicating beverage. But yet there he lay wide awake with his mind unable to turn off. Frustrated, he ripped the sheets off his body, pulling on his track pants and shoes. If there was one fail safe way of getting his mind to go to sleep, it was a couple of vigorous trips around the block. He wrenched the door open, intent on getting out of there as quickly as possible, only to be met with Sturgis blocking the doorway.

He shot him an annoyed look. “Sturgis, now’s not-“

  
He cut him off, holding up his hands in defense. “Look man, I wanted to apologize for what I said earlier. Well, part of it anyway”.

Harm gave him a doubtful look.

Sturgis looked over his shoulder and motioned towards the room behind him. “This isn’t exactly where I want to have this conversation.”

With a sigh, Harm stepped to the side and allowed him to enter. Sturgis took in his disheveled appearance, noting the look of exhaustion and frustration.

  
“Can’t sleep, I take it?”

He shot him an annoyed look. “Ya think!?”

Sturgis took a seat in his chair. “Look man, I shouldn’t have said what I said…maybe not the way I said it. At least hear me out”.

Harm sat on the edge of the bunk, not looking at his friend. “Floor’s yours”.

“Harm....I’ve known you for well over ten years. I’ve seen you hurt over a breakup. I know what Diane’s death did to you.”

Harm’s head shot up at this and he gave Sturgis a warning look.

“But I’ve never seen you like this. So afraid of admitting how you feel that it’s going to end up costing you the very woman you are afraid to express your feelings for. You think Mac doesn’t love you? You feel like she would toss your feelings to the side like yesterday’s sale paper?”

For his part, Harm remained silent, unable to acknowledge Sturgis’ points.

“Newsflash Harm, she loves you too. And just like you, she’s scared to say it. So one of you has to make the first move”. He gestured towards the picture on the desk. “The question is, who’s it gonna be?”

Harm sat with his head in his hands. The thought of opening his heart up and making it vulnerable to the very woman who took his breath away…..terrified him yet exhilarated him all in the same breath.

“You know Harm, you don’t think twice about getting up in the air, doing what you gotta do to accomplish the mission. It’s second nature to you. You know there are risks involved, but you don’t let it stop you. So why is telling Mac how you feel about her so different?”

Harm was quiet for a moment, studying the laces on his sneakers. Sturgis waited patiently, giving him time to digest his words. “Because Sturgis, I know if I get in trouble, I can punch out. I have a chance to save myself and if I can’t, well then, that’s it. It’s game over,” he sighed heavily, his voice quivering slightly, “If I tell Mac how I feel, and she doesn’t feel the same, I don’t have the option to punch out. I lose everything but I’m still alive. I have to live with the knowledge she doesn't want me like that”.

Sturgis gently touched his knee, causing Harm to look up at him. “I’ll repeat what I said earlier: Any woman that would follow a man halfway around the world to help him find his father, and any woman that can use her gift to find that same man in the middle of an ocean, must be deeply in love with him. There’s no other explanation for it, Harm. Take the risk and TELL her.” He stood, then held out a hand. “Now let’s blow off some restless energy. As my father would say: You’re as nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs”.

Harm laughed, taking his friend’s outstretched hand. “Thanks Sturgis, for everything. I owe you a million.”

“Yeah ya do, but you can repay me by going after that gorgeous girl of yours,” he winked at him, thumping him on the back as they exited into the hallway.

“Don’t let Mac hear you call her that. She would wipe the court up with you,” Harm warned, following Sturgis out into the corridor.

“Nah, she’ll be too busy kissing you senseless and saying what an idiot you are for taking so long!”

At the thought of Sarah’s lips on his, a nervous grin crept across Harm’s while butterflies took flight in the pit of his stomach. He was grateful that Sturgis was in front of him and couldn’t see his reaction.

Or so he thought.

“Wipe that smug grin off your face!” Sturgis laughed as they rounded another corridor.

Harm groaned in mock frustration. “I hate you, just for the record”.

“Whatever it takes to get your thick head out of your ass!”

The two lawyers laughed exited the door leading to the flight deck.

‘Two more days, Rabb’ Harm said under his breath.

‘Two more days, Rabb,’ Sturgis thought to himself

2100 CST  
Memories Bed and Breakfast  
Fredonia, Kansas

Mac channel surfed silently, her mind unable to focus on the images flipping quickly on the screen. It was late in the evening, which meant that programming was about to turn into a bunch of relentless infomercials and paid programming. As a long-time sufferer of insomnia, she unfortunately knew exactly what would be on TV. She glanced over at her uncle’s sleeping form, the late lunch and game of cards they’d had earlier having worn him out. His physician at Leavenworth had warned her that he would tire more quickly. This would only get worse as the disease spread. Mac felt the sting of tears in her eyes and she quietly berated herself for crying.

‘Shame on you, Mackenzie. He’s the one going through hell and you’re over here feeling sorry for yourself’ she scolded, wiping away the tears with a frustrated hand..

Her thoughts drifted to another man who occupied as much head space as the one lying next to her. ‘God what I wouldn’t give for one of Harm’s hugs right now’ she thought, absentmindedly wrapping her arms around herself as she half-heartedly watched the muted episode of ‘Matlock’ on TV.

Mac knew the Admiral had to be wondering why she had yet to inform Harm of her uncle’s situation. But he had remained true to his word, leaving the decision of timing up to her. She had seen the missed call from him on her cellphone log. The notification had made her heart tense with anticipation, and she almost hit the return-call button….but she just couldn't bring herself to do it. Part of her was afraid she would start crying over the phone. That was something she most certainly did not want to happen. The other part reasoned that Harm had a tremendous amount at stake with the investigation. She did not want her uncle’s illness to worry him when he had more critical issues to resolve. Besides, there was nothing he could do to change what was happening. She hoped the Admiral would keep his word until Harm returned home. With a huff of disgust, she clicked off the television. She snuggled up behind her uncle like she used to do when they spent Summer or Winter nights camping out under the big sky of Red Rock Mesa. He had always been so strong, invincible to her, and she felt all those years ago that nothing could hurt her so long as he was around. She bit back a sudden sob when she realized that moments like this were quickly dwindling. She draped her arm over his torso, giving him a firm hug before finally giving herself over to restless sleep.

 

::: END CHAPTER SIX::


	7. Chapter Seven

Title: “I’ll Be There” Chapter Seven  
Author: Macattack102712, aka “Mac Mackenzie”  
Publish Date: Original Publish date: August 2002, redone and completed Fall/Winter 2017.  
Pairing: Harm/Mac  
Category: Romance/Angst  
Summary: Mac gets devastating news regarding her beloved Uncle Matt. Her JAG family must come together to get her thru the hardest trial of her life. In the process, she learns the tremendous gift and power that comes with letting love in.  
Author’s Notes: Please see previous chapters.

0700  
Memories B&B  
Room 230  
Leavenworth, Kansas

Mac squeezed the last of her uncle’s few belongings in her suitcase, careful to ensure his journals, books, and photographs did not get crushed. Leveraging her weight against the suitcase lid so it would zip, she yawned widely. She’d only slept an hour or so since the two had turned in the previous evening. There were just too many thoughts, too many emotions coursing through her to allow the blissful escape. On several occasions, she had jerked out of her sleep, finding a mixed sense of relief to know that he was there with her. While it comforted her to know he was with her, it also reminded her of why she was there. Now the only thing sleep offered was the horrible nightmares; nightmares Mac knew lay waiting for her just around the corner. The songbirds fluttered just beyond the bay window, undoubtedly soaking up the tender warmth provided by the early morning sun. When the stormy weather moved out during the midnight hour, it left a beautiful day in its wake. But Mac couldn’t enjoy it. She felt as dead inside as the shriveled vines and paltry grass withering from the harshness of winter’s desolation. Stifling another yawn, her eyes roamed across the room until they settled on Matthew, who lay resting peacefully under the flowered-print bedspread. If they were going to make it to the airport in time, he needed to get bathed and dressed. With a sigh of regret, she crossed to the other side of the bed to kneel beside him. She gently shook his shoulder until he began to rouse from his sleep.

“Uncle Matt, it’s time to wake up. Our flight leaves in two hours,” she murmured softly, running her hand through his short brown hair, noting with a twinge of sadness the grey hair had begun to creep into his hairline. Even still, he cut quite the handsome figure. The O’Hara genes ran strong in the family such that Mac bore a remarkable resemblance to him. And, on multiple occasions, people had mistaken him for her father, an error that Mac never bothered to correct. In her eyes, he was far better to her than any day Joe Mackenzie had spent on Earth as her biological father.

Matthew opened his eyes to find his niece giving him a soft smile. He blinked a few times to focus his vision, then glanced at the clock on his bedside table. “Is it already time to get up?”

“Yes. Erik is picking us up at 0830 to take us to the airport. Our flight leaves at 1000”. She assisted him upright, giving him a few seconds to adjust to the change in position. “If we want to make our flight, we need to get you ready”.

He ran a hand over his face, scrubbing his eyes before plucking up the bottle of pain medication sitting next to the alarm clock. He squinted in confusion as he read the small print on the label. “Man, I feel like I laid my head down just a minute ago. These meds they have me on, whew! They are potent”.

Mac, unsure as to what to say, remained quiet. In her thirty-two years, she could never remember her uncle needing pain medication. Even when he broke his leg after falling of a 40-foot ladder, he still did not ask for any. He was always so tough, larger than life. Hearing him mention pain medications made her heart clench; it was just another reminder of what he was going thru.

“It’s nearly 0730, far past reveille, Marine. And this bed isn’t squared away. Did my beating your six at Russian Rummy last night wear you out, or are you going soft on me?” he teased, a look of merriment dancing in his eyes. Anyone who knew Mac knew she was up before the sun!

She took the bait and gave him a look, “Noooo, but somebody was cutting logs last night which made it hard for this Marine to get some shut-eye”. Mac gently pulled him to his feet. “I’ve drawn your bath water, so get your six moving before I take a switch to it!” she laughingly ordered, giving him a playful swat on the behind.

“Okay! Okay! Jeez…. pretty soon you’ll have me doing fifty sit-ups!” he answered in mock protest, shuffling behind her to the bathroom.

She deposited his clothing on the closed lid of the toilet before quickly testing the water to ensure it was still warm. Satisfied with the temperature, Mac pulled two fluffy beach-sized towels from the rack, laying one in front of the tub and draping the other over his clothes. “The water is plenty warm. There is a fresh bar of soap here with a washcloth. If you need my help, just let me know”. She turned to exit the bathroom, then hastily added, “which, uh, I hope you don’t, but I mean, if you do-”. She broke off the sentence, her face reddening at the uncomfortable dilemma. Her was growing more unsteady on his feet, especially since she first arrived; the last thing she wanted was for him to slip on the tile floor.

Matt bit back the laughter at the blush that swiftly crept across her face and couldn’t help but goad her. “I hope I don’t, Sarah, but I know I can rely on you to save the day. As you so nicely reminded me, Marines never leave a fellow Marine behind!” He loved getting her riled up!

Thoroughly embarrassed, Mac quickly left the bathroom but not without issuing strict orders for him to clean behind his ears. “That rule only applies on the battlefield, Uncle Matt, not the bathroom!”

His laughter could be heard from the other side of the door.

0830  
JAG HQ  
Admiral Chegwidden’s Office  
Falls Church, VA

‘In other world news from this morning, four American troops and three soldiers from the Israeli Ground Forces Coalition were killed yesterday afternoon when their Humvee ran over an IED. The incident occurred just outside the city of Kabul. No update on the two surviving soldiers who were medi-vacd to a nearby refugee camp for medical attention. Reporting from the frontlines of the bitter war between allied forces and Al Qaeda, this is Stewart Dunstant with ZNN. Back to you in the newsroom, Gary’.

With a sigh mixed with relief and disgust, AJ pointed the remote towards the tv, pressing the mute button to effectively silence the mind-numbing chatter of the war waging beyond his tv screen.

  
‘Thank God my staff aren’t caught up in that mess’ he muttered to himself.

Although AJ had a considerable amount of control over his officer’s TDY assignments, there was one area in which he had little control: combat deployment. So far, he had been incredibly lucky in that his staff had been spared since his appointment as JAG. It was rather surprising, especially where Mac was concerned. She possessed a particular skill set that few Marines, especially females, held. The fact that she was fluent in three foreign languages (one of which belonged in the Arabic family), an expert rifleman, and having previous combat experience made her a high contender for SPEC-OPS deployment. Nudging his wire-framed glasses up the bridge of his nose, AJ turned his attention back to the thick file folder on his desk. While the pile of paper only weighed an ounce or so, the legal ramifications that could potentially stem from it carried far more weight. He had been up half the night prior carefully reading the contents of each page. It was the report on the mishap investigation aboard the Patrick Henry. When he sent Rabb and Turner out to investigate, he knew the process would be scrutinized like an ant under a magnifying glass: with each second that passed, his two lead attorneys stood at risk for being burnt up. For the safety of everyone involved, AJ had hoped for both an expedited and thorough investigation. He checked his watch; Admiral Morris was scheduled to meet with him in one hour to discuss the findings.

‘And not a moment too soon’. He was beyond ready to put pen to paper to formally close the investigation and inform the SECNAV.

Tiner knocked on the open door, interrupting his thoughts. “Excuse me sir, but Colonel Mackenzie is on line one”.

He signed his name to the bottom of the report before setting it aside. “Thank you Tiner, page her through”.

“Good morning, Sir” Mac greeted.

“Same to you Colonel, how are things going?” For all the positive influences that resulted from the military’s strict expectations on decorum, especially in regards to addressing senior officers, there were times that AJ wished protocol weren’t so tight.

“They’re going as well as can be expected, we’re about to leave for the airport. Our flight departs at 1000. We should land in Dulles by 1400”.

“I know you will be glad to get the two of you home. Send me your gate information and I will pick you up”. AJ had been studying on how to help his Chief of Staff, but in order to get her the help she so desperately needed, he had to speak with Matthew. “Is your uncle available to talk?”

She glanced over at Matthew, who was now dressed and perched on the side of the bed, pulling his socks on. “He is sir, would you like to speak with him?”  
“I would, if it’s not an inconvenience”.

“No sir, not at all”. Her voice muffled slightly as she handed the phone to Matt. “The Admiral would like to speak with you. I’m going in here to brush my teeth. Then we’ll be ready to leave”.

Matthew nodded, taking the phone from her outstretched hand. “Hello Admiral, it’s been quite some time since we last talked.”

“Yes, it has, Colonel, and please, it’s AJ”, he requested, a smile tugging at his mouth. ‘The apple sure didn’t fall far from the tree’.

“Well, in that case, call me Matt” Matt replied.

“Very well. How are you feeling today?”.

Matt glanced into the bathroom and watched as Mac turned on the sink faucet, then sponged a line of toothpaste onto her toothbrush. The sound of running water hopefully would make it a little bit harder for her to overhear the conversation. “I’m making it, AJ. I don’t have a lot of energy. But they told me to expect that more as things progress”. He was careful with the tone of his voice; Mac did not need to know the extent of his pain. The less she knew, the more he could protect her heart.

The slight change in tonal quality did not go unnoticed. “I understand, but she does know you quite well,” AJ pointed out. He was beginning to sense a pattern, one that made it fairly simple to connect the dots as to where his junior officer got her reluctance in asking for help. “I’m quite confident that nothing much escapes her, especially where you are involved”.

Matt tucked the phone between his shoulder and ear while he pulled the laces of his shoes into a smart bow. “That she does, AJ, that she does. She’s always been so damn perceptive when it comes to those she loves”.

AJ leaned back in his chair. “Matt, how is she? I am very concerned. She does not need to handle this alone, but she won’t listen. She’s so damn hard headed!”.

He opened his mouth to answer, but Mac chose at that moment to step out of the bathroom. She stopped to give him a minty peck on the cheek. “I’m going downstairs to turn in our key so we can check out. It shouldn’t take but just a minute,” she gestured towards the phone, “let the Admiral know I will call him when we land”.

Matt tipped his head in understanding, waiting until the door shut behind her before answering AJ’s question. “I’ve asked her the same questions you’re asking me. She claims she is sleeping and eating, but if there is anything I know about my niece, it’s that she puts on a brave front”.

AJ took in this information, carefully mulling it over. “I don’t know if you are aware, but Harm does not know about your illness. He’s been TDY for the past week investing a pilot mishap on the Patrick Henry. Mac made me promise not to say anything to him; said she didn’t want it to cloud his concentration”. He leaned back in his chair and blew out his breath in exasperation. “Matt, she needs him. He’s the only one who can get thru to her. I’m holding off as long as I can, but I don’t know how much longer I can do that. Harm calls me almost every day”.

It was easy for Matt to save his niece from herself, but when he was the one causing her so much pain, well, it just made the pain all the deeper. And the worst part was that it couldn’t be fixed. “AJ, I’m at a total loss here. When I took her to dry out following her wreck, it was easier to get thru to her. She didn’t have so many walls built around herself. But now, I’m given the infamous, ‘I’m fine, I’m a Marine’ speech whenever I start poking or prodding”. His voice tightened against the lump in his throat. “I never….in a million years, thought I would be the one to cause her so much pain. It’s not supposed to be this way, AJ”.

The senior officer felt the pain in Matthew’s voice. He pinched the bridge of his nose as he ran ideas over in his mind. “Well, I am her superior. I could order her to get some food and rest, although I have a feeling that wouldn’t go over too well”.

“You can say that again. I know Sarah. In a situation like this, she’ll tend to everyone but herself. She’ll always put her needs last. And you know she’s got more than her fair of stubbornness. I mean, she IS an O’Hara, after all”.

“Unfortunately, I do. I have first-hand experience in dealing with said stubborn, Marine”. AJ looked at his calendar, the date of Mac’s return circled in red. “I’ll deal with her once she gets home. But it won’t be pretty. She’s one of the few officers that make me think twice about getting on her bad side”.

Matt chuckled, “That will be a sight to see, for sure!”. He zipped up his overcoat. “I’ll see you when we land in Dulles. I thank you for all of your help, especially where my Sarah is concerned”.

“You’re welcome. Mac’s a part of the family. She has an entire office full of people that care about her very much. I’ll see you at the airport”.

“Thanks AJ, see you then” he replied, hanging up the phone just as Mac returned from the lobby. He handed the phone to her as she helped him to his feet.

“I think we’ve got everything, so if you’re ready, we’ll head downstairs. Erik is waiting.” She threw the backpack over her shoulder and reached for the handle of the rolling suitcase before extending her free arm towards her uncle.

“Oh no you don’t! I’ve got this,” he grinned, reaching down to take the suitcase before she could grab it.

She looked at him with a reprimanding stare, taking the suitcase back with a firm tug. “I don’t think so, mister! The doctors gave strict instructions for you not to lift or pull anything”.

Matt playfully tugged her ear as she turned to navigate them out into the hallway. “Why are you so stubborn? You know, I think you’d try to win a staring competition with a mannequin!”

“Oh hoh! You just wait!” she pretended to threaten, her finger an inch from his nose.

“On what?” he replied teasingly as the descended the stairs into the lobby below.

“My wrath! It’s inescapable!”

Laughing, the duo wrapped an arm around each other as they headed out into the frigid air where Erik awaited.

1000  
Flight Deck  
USS Patrick Henry  
Somewhere in the Atlantic

“….and the nun pulled off her cloak and said, “I’m the bus driver!” A roar of laughter erupted from the mass of sailors piled in the mess hall after one of them delivered the punch line. Harm couldn’t help but laugh at the distasteful, yet humorous joke.

‘That’s squid life for ya! Rude, crude, and no room for prudes!’

His smile faded, however, when his thoughts returned to one particular Marine. He had waited impatiently for her call since he’d requested the Admiral to deliver his message, but she had yet to call him. He was mentally and emotionally exhausted, not just from the investigation, but the anxiety that had plagued him since he had left HQ almost a week prior. Something was not right, of that he was confident. He took a swig of his coffee, then peered into the murky liquid with a look of dismay. It was absolutely terrible.

“Mac always says us squids don’t know to properly brew coffee”, Sturgis said as he joined Harm, propped against the bulkhead door of the cafeteria, watching the ruckus from a distance. He sniffed Harm’s cup and his eyebrows shot up nearly to hairline. “I’m beginning to think she’s right”.

Swirling the caffeinated liquid around, Harm took another sip before deciding it was a lost cause and tossed it in the garbage can.

Add that to another thing he missed about her.

“Don’t let her hear you say that, it will send her ego right thru the roof. I’ll never hear the end of it”.

Sturgis smirked, “Or maybe you just don’t want to hear her rub it in your face that she is right and you were wrong”.

Harm shot him an annoyed look and remained quiet.

“Well,” he leaned back against the steel wall behind him, “if all goes like I think it should, we may be on the first helo back to port tomorrow. The Admiral was pleased with our report, and the final decision from Admiral Morris should be in this morning”. With an aire of faux smugness, he added, “And, as a ‘thank you’ for our efforts, I might have talked the XO into letting you take a bird up.”

Harm’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. In all the years he’d known Sturgis, he never appeared to fully understand Harm’s bone-deep love for flying. It had rather become, at pivotal moments of their mutual careers, a source of contingency between the two.

“I can’t say anything official, but he basically said if you wanted it, the trip was yours”. Sturgis scuffed his shoe against the knocker. “Look man, I know you and I haven’t had the best of friendship since I came to JAG, and most of that is my own doing. I, uh, have a tendency to step on toes. So, I just wanted to, you know, extend the olive branch to you. For what it’s worth”. He ended the sentence rather awkwardly, not completely sure what else he should or could say. Apologies were an enigma: on one hand, they could be intensely liberating, but on the other, they could be downright terrifying. Especially if the intended recipient was not receptive to it.

Harm’s veins were already prickling with the adrenaline associated with the sensation of pulling multiple G’s, but as much as his hands itched to feel the power of a 2,000 lb aircraft in their grip, he had to decline. The feeling of her calling him home was far stronger than any stunt in a jet. And answer the call he would. He turned to face his friend, a look of resolution mixed with desperation seated deep within his eyes. “Sturgis, I really appreciate that, honestly I do. And any other time, you know I would be first man on deck to jump in that bird. I don’t get that opportunity very often, especially given what happened last year. But I need to be at JAG, not out here on some ship in the middle of the ocean. I’ve just got to get back”.

He couldn’t help but smile with understanding. Harm’s love for flying had, as so many other pilots before him, been replaced by a woman. “I know. You need to be with her”.

Harm nodded mutely, casting his eyes downward as the moisture inexplicably gathered in the corner of his eyes. He needed to return to the one person who kept him sane in an otherwise tumultuous world. He needed to wrap her in his arms, protect her from both real and perceived threats. He needed to feel her warm breath fanning his neck, the silky strands of hair against his cheek. He needed to drown himself in the dark eyes of the woman who he had fallen in love with so many years ago. He needed her. That’s all there was to it.

1000  
Airport  
Leavenworth, KA

Mac tucked her uncle closer to her side, quietly flexing her arm to get the circulation back from the awkward position. He had fallen asleep shortly after their plane had left ground, the gentle vibrations of the jet engines beneath them lulling him into quiet repose. She knew it would be the last trip they would ever make together, but even still she was so thankful that he was going home with her. A fresh sting of tears pooled up in her eyes. Clenching her jaw, she willed herself not to let them fall. After all, she was a Marine, and Marines didn’t cry.

‘Stop crying and get yourself together! You’re being weak!’

But the pain in her heart hurt so much she wasn’t sure how much longer she could bear it.

‘You have to. You don’t have a choice!’

She gently arranged her uncle so that he was leaning against her shoulder. In this manner, it kept him from sleeping in an uncomfortable position. She would do whatever it took to make him as comfortable as possible. Picking up his hand, she held it against her cheek as she relished the warmth it offered. She was exhausted to the bone, and her eyes stung from fatigue. Too tired to fight them any longer, she closed her eyes and let the tears fall.

1151  
Harriet and Bud’s Apartment  
McLean, VA

The pot of soup simmered without a sound as tendrils of heat from the hearty liquid floated upwards only to vanish in the humming vent hood. Occasionally, a small patch of bubbles would surface and pop, but the liquid was in no danger of burning under the watchful eye of Harriet. She stood quietly at the helm, mindlessly stirring while her thoughts were knee deep in concern over her superior officer. The heartache she knew Mac was experiencing was strong; as it stood, she and Bud were still grieving the loss of their infant daughter. Each dawn brought a fresh set of challenges they had to overcome. Each day they had to force themselves to get out of bed to continue living life while their daughters was snuffed out before it ever began. The irrational guilt and anguish were almost unbearable, and oftentimes Harriet felt the only source of comfort was their friends at JAG, whom they considered family, and of course, their only living child.

Little AJ didn’t understand why his parents were so sad. He didn’t understand that his role as ‘big brother’ was cruelly snatched away by the merciless hand of tragedy. Even in his own little world, the youngster knew something was missing. He just did not know how to articulate it. But he tried, in his own innocent way. On more than one occasion, he had approached his mother, thrust his beloved stuffed ragbunny into her arms, all the while jabbering, “Sad mommy. I sowwy”. And Harriet would scoop her son up in her lap, the tears running down her face as he clumsily attempted to wipe them away. Someday, when he was old enough to understand, they would explain to him what happened. For now, they had to lean on each other and their friends to help them stay afloat in a sea of grief that threatened to pull them under. She sent a silent request to her little girl to watch over Mac, and that a certain sailor would soon tuck her into the safe confines of his heart.

1700  
Dulles Airport

Mac and Matthew waited as the plane taxied to the terminal, eager to get home after a long flight. There had been a technical problem with the plane’s heating and cooling system, and as such their flight was delayed by over an hour. Admiral Chegwidden was supposed to pick them up from the airport since Mac had taken a cab in order to avoid the exorbitant cost for multi-day parking. As they exited the terminal, she spotted his long figure near the arrivals monitors. They quickly caught up to him.

“Sir, I am so sorry about the del-” she began, a little out of breath from hauling the suitcase with one hand, supporting her uncle with the other, and toting her heavy backpack.

He immediately cut her off with a wave of his hand as she settled the suitcase in front of her. “Nothing to apologize for, Mac. Besides, I was running behind. I underestimated rush hour traffic coming from the east side of town. Plus, there was an accident on the Beltway. He warmly shook Matt’s hand. He had not changed much in the years since he had last seen him, but the toil of his illness was beginning to show itself in his eyes. “It’s good to see you again, Matt”.

Matthew returned the greeting, “Likewise AJ”.

AJ looked at Mac carefully before posing his question. “Well, you two must be getting hungry. I know I am. Do you have any objections if we stop off at this little restaurant I like on the way home?”

Matthew shook his head. “Not in the least, you know plane food isn’t all that wonderful, AJ” Matt replied, grimacing with remembrance. He recalled their conversation from earlier that morning. He had a feeling AJ was up to something.

“I do, Seems I remember having a few nasty encounters over the years. Consider yourself lucky if your food doesn’t make a run for it when you go to put a knife in it”.

The elder Colonel laughed, then began searching the signs overhead. “Where is the restroom? Nature is calling and I can’t exactly take a message”.

Mac turned around, spotting the restroom sign across from the gate in which they’d exited. “Over there, Uncle Matt. Admiral, I’ll be right back”. She looped her arm through his and walked slowly with him towards the bathroom, stopping just outside the double entry doors. He was growing tired,of that much she could tell.

AJ followed behind, pulling Mac’s suitcase with him. “You mind if we stop and eat on the way? You look like you’re about to fall over”.

“Oh no sir, I’m fine” she replied, reaching to retrieve her suitcase from AJ.

“Not so fast, Mac. I’m carrying this”. He took a firm grip on the handle to keep her from snatching it away.

“But sir,” she began, only to have AJ cut her off.

“But what Mac?”

“I can carry my own suitcase sir, you don’t have to do that”

He bit back a sign of frustration. She was so damn hardheaded! “Mac, I am well aware that you are capable of carrying it. Let me take it off your hands. Besides, your uncle could use a steady arm to hold on to” he referenced Matthew’s slow gait.

Mac eyed her C.O carefully. “That’s too much to ask, sir. You’ve already spent an hour waiting on our flight”.

'Okay, that’s the final straw!' He hated to pull rank but it was the only way she would listen.

“Colonel, don’t let me make this an order”.

“No sir”, she snapped upright in automatic response to his no-nonsense tone.

He sighed inwardly, his eyes catching Matthew as he stopped short exiting the bathroom upon seeing the exchange between the two. “Mac, I’m not doing this to hurt you but you’ve got to give yourself a break. It is a heavy suite case and you’ve been hauling it everywhere. At least let me do this for you”

Mac considered him for a moment, then nodded in acquiescence. She was really too tired to argue with him.

Matt returned from the bathroom, and with their belongings in hand, the trio exited the airport amongst the throng of holiday travelers.

2000  
Rivendale Cafe  
Georgetown, VA

The chill in the bitter wind nearly cut them to the bone as they crossed the street to the cafe. Once inside, the warm atmosphere that enveloped Rivendale Café instantly cocooned them. It was the only eatery that remained open into the late hours, mostly because so many truckers traveled the Beltway through Georgetown. The building was originally a bookstore built in the early 1920’s. Over the course of several decades, it had changed hands several times, but was never properly maintained. Combined with a dwindling demand for the printed medium, the store permanently shuttered its doors shortly after the turn of the century. The forces of nature began to stake its claim on the building, turning it into just another dilapidated eyesore in the small town. In 2005, the building was slated to be demolished, but two entrepreneurs saw the gem lying under decades of dirt and dust, and against the advice of the city council members, they purchased the property, invested a year’s worth of sweat equity. The once vacant, run down building was transformed into a very quaint café that everyone in the area loved to patron. The three sat down in one of the cushy booths near the window, taking in the ambience of the café. Pictures from the 1920’s and 30’s were placed under the glass tabletops, showing the building in its previous glory as a bookstore. Souvenirs that people had donated from their world travels were hung on the walls, and even an antique rocking horse sat in one corner. Everywhere one looked there were fascinating objects from different cultures and countries, giving the café a worldly but cozy feeling.

A waitress came over to take their orders. Both AJ and Matthew placed theirs, but when it the waitress looked at Mac expectantly, she only ordered a small salad.

Matt shot a knowing look at AJ. ‘Told you she’s not been eating’

AJ eyed her intently. “Mac, that’s not enough to feed a bird!”

Although Mac didn’t meet the Admiral’s eyes, she could feel his scrutiny boring into her; she didn’t dare look up for fear of giving herself away. The stress of her uncle’s illness had stolen her appetite and ability to eat, but she didn’t want to worry either of them. The less they knew, the better it would be.

“Oh, it’s plenty, sir. I…um…I ate on the flight back so…I’m not terribly hungry”. She nervously picked at her wadded-up napkin, wishing that the two would just drop the subject.

“Sarah, you’ve been by my side for the past week. I haven’t seen you eat much of anything. You need to get something more substantial in you or you’ll end up sick”.

“I have eaten, Uncle Matt. You just didn’t see it. I’ve eaten breakfast on the days I came to see you before your release. And, um...I ate on the flight over here and back”. She willed herself to sound convincing; he couldn’t know she was already sick.

Her C.O. rolled his eyes in silence. While his junior officer was an excellent lawyer both in and out of the courtroom, she was terrible at lying. AJ felt she could use some lessons from the mastermind of coverups, none other than Clayton Webb! He cast a glance at Matthew, who in turn was contemplating niece’s information. It would do no good to argue with her in front of her uncle; for reasons yet unknown to AJ, it was quite obvious that she did not want Matthew to know of her poor appetite and inability to sleep. He made the decision to drop the subject for now, but made a promise to himself to address it with her in private the first available opportunity.

LATER THAT EVENING

AJ stole a glance at Mac as the vehicle passed under a streetlight, briefly illuminating the interior of the SUV. It cast an eerie but soft low upon her face. Throughout the meal, she had remained fairly silent and he often caught her staring listlessly into the darkness. Matthew had fallen asleep n the backseat of the car, exhausted after the long and delayed flight. He contemplated what he would say to her. The Commanding Officer in him reminded him that he should not get overly involved in the lives of his junior officers, but with his people at JAG, it was different. They were like family; his family. And when someone was struggling, you just didn’t stand by and let them struggle alone.

“Mac, I want you to be honest with me. Have you been eating and sleeping since you left home?”

Mac snapped out of her thoughts to register to what AJ had said. Her conscious struggled with her heart as she contemplated whether to tell the truth. Suppressing an inward sigh, her conscious won the war. “No sir”. Her voice was quiet, so quiet that JA had to strain his ears to catch the words.

“I thought as much”. He eased the SUV onto the exit ramp towards Georgetown. “Mac, you must look after yourself so that you can take care of your uncle. It’s just you in that apartment. If you don’t eat anything, then you end up tired and worn out. Your immune system will get weak, which means you’re far more susceptible to infections and viruses”.

“I’m trying, sir. But there’s just too much stress and chaos in my life right now. My entire world has been turned upside down. And it’s selfish of me to be thinking of myself. My uncle needs me”. A fine tremor had entered her voice despite her efforts.

It hurt AJ to hear the distress in her voice. He knew he came across as a tough Navy Seal and a hard-ass four-star Commanding Officer, but his heart was just as prone to hurt like everyone else. “Mac, you have us at JAG. We’re your family. We care an awful lot about you”.

“I know sir, but I hate depending on others. It’s not what Marines do”. She fought to keep her voice calm and steady. “We were taught to deal with difficult situations on our own, to rely on our Marine training. It was bad enough that my uncle had to help me…well….you know.” She looked out the window, embarrassed and ashamed of herself. The Marine in her was disappointed that the human part of her was letting her weakness get the better part of her, in front of her C.O. no less.

And then it dawned on AJ as to why, from the very beginning, she had been hesitant to tell him anything or ask for help. ‘She thinks she’s a disgrace’. The sudden realization nearly knocked the breath out of him.

He slowed down as he approached a yellow-to-red stop light, and took the opportunity to face her. “Mac, I want you to hear me, and hear me well. There is nothing, absolutely nothing to be ashamed of, whether it be your past or your present. All of us have addictions, problems or demons that others may or may not know about” He glanced back at the still-red traffic light. “And that includes myself. My own stubborn pride wouldn’t let me ask my own people for help, even when they were all I had left. Because of that, I’ve found myself in some pretty sticky situations that I almost didn’t get out of.”

“But you let me defend you in that situation involving that kid, sir” she replied earnestly.

He nodded in agreement. “I know, Mac. That’s when I finally learned to stop being a complete jerk to those around me, and let go of my pride. I also realized that just because I’m a former SEAL and an Admiral, it doesn’t mean I am excluded from needing help”. He could almost see the hamster wheel turning in her head as his words sank in.

Mac, on the other hand, didn’t know what to think. Sure, she knew her C.O. could be tough at times, and intimidating as hell. He knew how to give a dressing down that would have the toughest Marine shaking in their boots. But in all the years she had served in his command, the description of jerk never cross her mind.

“Admiral, I NEVER once thought you in that manner. You are one of the most honorable people I know. If anything, I consider you to be like a-”. She couldn’t continue her sentence. While AJ had shown her a level of kindness in the past week that had been completely unexpected, he was still her Commanding Officer. There was that very distinct line drawn of what was appropriate, and inappropriate to discuss, and it was a line that did not get crossed.

“A what, Mac?” he probed as he turned left down Hawks Ridge Boulevard. The streetlights were placed further apart now, and as such, the illumination was limited. He could no longer catch glimpses of her face in the pressing darkness that surrounded them.

Oh boy…she had no choice but to say it now.

“A role model and father figure, sir”. Her voice was timid, as though she expected him to give her a dressing down that would rival the one Harm got for accidentally shooting up the courtroom all those years earlier.

It went deathly quiet in the vehicle as AJ followed the curvature of the road. Big rain drops splattered over the windshield, trailing down quickly before the wipers whisked them away. The silence grew unbearable: Mac, thinking he was angry with her for getting too personal by imposing such a title on him, and AJ, completely flabbergasted that she would hold him in such a high regard.

‘Dammit Mackenzie, you just had to open your big mouth!’

They approached another redlight, and Mac contemplated on whether or not to jump out of the car. If only it weren’t for her uncle sleeping in the backseat, she would have jumped out, run for home, and either turn in her resignation or plead temporary insanity the following morning.

He was in shock. He knew that it was presumptuous, along with unbelievable to have someone think of him in that way. During his command at other billets and JAG, the environment never afforded him a real opportunity to make friends. It was just the way it was. If the armed forces felt someone was becoming too involved with the lives of the staff around him, he or he was immediately relocated to another billet. In this manner, it kept people from becoming too attached and resistant to moving wherever their company needed them. In addition, when in a position of authority, it tended to make people NOT like you. Most people, like the SECNAV, couldn’t stand the sight of him, lest the sound of his name.

‘Well now you’ve REALLY done yourself in. Nice job, Mackenzie!’

She opened her mouth to apologize but AJ’s voice broke down the uncomfortable silence.

“Mac, I really don’t know what to say. That’s the first time…” he struggled to find his words to adequately convey his thoughts.

She jumped in to make an attempt to save herself and smooth over the situation. “My apologies, sir. I shouldn’t have said anything. It was very inapprop-”

But AJ cut her off. “As I was saying,” he gave her the fisheye, “That is the first time anyone has said that to me. To have people consider me in that manner, it is very humbling. And I thank you for your honesty.” He gave her a wry grin as he turned into her apartment parking lot. “That means a lot”.

She nodded in the quiet expanse of the vehicle. “You’re welcome”

He gave her a wry grin as she returned one, albeit sheepish, before he moved to wake Matthew up. “Home sweet home”.

2450  
Mac’s Apartment  
Georgetown, VA

  
Colonel O’Hara sighed with relief as Mac ushered them into her apartment. “There’s no place like home” she said as she turned to relieve AJ from the burden of her suitcase. “Admiral, can I get you anything?”

“Oh no, but thank you. I need to be heading home. I’ve got a long day tomorrow” he sighed, grimacing as he was reminded of the meeting scheduled with the SECNAV. At Mac’s puzzled expression, he answered the unasked question. “Two words Colonel, the SECNAV”. His frown deepened considerably but he refused to allow it to commandeer his mood.

She gave him a sympathetic look. Her CO was not exactly in the SECNAV’s good graces, and whenever he darkened the doors of JAG HQ, it was never a good indicator. He, along with Clayton Webb, seemed to only bring trouble and grief whenever they came to JAG. She moved to help her uncle get situated on the couch and handed him a blanket. “You have my sympathies, sir.”

AJ donned his cover. “Well thank you, Colonel, maybe that will help keep me from being glared to death tomorrow.

“Please give me a few minutes to get him settled in before you leave, sir. I wanted to talk with you. I’ll be out in a minute”. She ushered Matthew down the short hallway and into the guest bedroom, their voices drifting away.

AJ walked over to look at the pictures sitting out on a writing desk adjacent to the fireplace. The frames were filled with pictures he’d seen before, such as the group photo of everyone on the steps at JAG HQ, the Roberts’ wedding, and the christening of baby AJ. There were some with just Harm and Mac in their various adventures over the years, Mac with her ‘little sister’ Chloe, and Jingo. He came across two pictures that warmed his heart. The first was a picture of a younger Colonel O’Hara in military fatigues, holding a small child that was obviously Mac. She wore a tiny camouflage shirt with matching jacket and pants. She had the sweetest grin he’d ever seen on a child.

‘She looked so cute, how could anyone have given such an adorable child such a miserable home life?’ he fathomed to himself.

The next photo was another of the two, with Matthew cradling an infant Mac. She was so tiny that the soft pink dress nearly swallowed her whole, and her little legs and feet were curled up. He was gazing upon his niece with an expression of love and total awe. Another photo showed Matthew helping her learn to ride a bike. She sat perched on the seat of the dark blue bike, complete with streamers, the training wheels sitting on the grass behind them. She was dressed in overalls and a blue long sleeve shirt, her long brown hair braided to one side and blowing in the breeze. As with any daunting task that presented itself to her, she wore a look of extreme concentration; it was obvious that she took this lesson very seriously. Matthew stood to the side, his big hands dwarfing hers where they tightly gripped the handlebars.

“I was three in that picture, two months old in the second, and six in the third one. My uncle promised me he would give me that blue bike if I would let him take the training wheels off.” Mac’s voice behind him started him right out of his skin.

“Damn Colonel! What are you trying to do, kill me before the SECNAV does?”

“I’m sorry sir, I thought you heard me come out of his room” She gave him an apologetic smile.

He picked up the picture of her learning to ride a bike. “I remember my much-younger cousin had a bike just like this. He rode the hell out of it. My aunt could barely get him to give the wheels a rest”.

She took the picture and looked at it with a sad smile. “I loved that bike. Uncle Matt bought it for me for my seventh birthday and taught me how to ride without training wheels. I was so proud of it. A few weeks later, I came home from school and it was gone. My father told me it had been stolen. I believed him, so when I saw Jacob, the kid that lived down the street, riding it, I went over to take it back. I called him a thief. We got into a fight, I broke his nose, and his dad called the cops. Turns out my father sold it to Jacob’s dad because he owed him money he lost in a poker game. I wasn’t allowed to play with Jacob after that, and a few months later the family moved away”.

AJ looked back at the captured moment with horror and disgust. ‘What kind of shit ass father sells his child’s bike?

“Anyway, enough of the sappy stories”, she crossed her arms, indicating that particular conversation was over. After all, it did not do to dwell on the past.

AJ set the frame back down in its rightful spot and turned to face her. “Harm is done with his investigation. You need to tell him. I really cannot delay any longer. He keeps asking, and you know he won’t give up until he finds out the truth. He knows something is not right.”

Mac leaned against the arm of the couch, rubbing her arms against the sudden chill that had crept into the room. “I know, sir, and I will. It’s just hard. He’s out there right now because of the investigation, but you and I both know he’s around what he loves most in the world. It’s what makes him truly happy. I just can’t go and destroy that, sir, it’s not fair to him”. She bit back a sigh of frustration. “When does he get in?"

“Well, he pushed the report to me, and as soon as I review it with the SECNAV tomorrow, he should be back within the next two days”. He could see the flash of disappointment in Mac’s eyes upon this news. He knew the feelings they held for each other ran far deeper than friendship. He also knew that Mac wished Harm was home instead of out there on a carrier in the middle of the ocean.

“Thank you, again, sir, for everything”. She walked him to the door and looked him in the eye for the first time that evening. “I’ll never forget all that you have done for me”.

“Take the next two days off. I don’t want to see you back at the office until Commander Rabb returns, is that clear?” he said, pulling rank to let her know he meant business.

“Yes sir!”. She replied, watching him walk down the hallway and exit into the waiting elevator. She silently thanked her CO for everything as she shut the door, her mind replaying the conversation from earlier on their way home. Just when she thought she had him figured out, he threw her for another loop. Shaking her head, she checked on her uncle one more time before settling herself on the couch, a book and a cup of coffee in hand. It was going to be a long night.

0800  
USS Patrick Henry  
Conference Room  
Somewhere in the Atlantic

Storm clouds had moved in over the Patrick Henry during the early morning hours, and as a result, the carrier’s movements were choppier than usual. He recalled with a slight smile that Mac always hated being onboard during inclement weather. During their tenure as partners, they had been on countless carrier investigations. On more than one occasion, she had been forced to visit sickbay for intravenous anti-nausea medications as her over-the-counter ones did not always work. He had always felt bad for her and hated seeing her face pale and covered with a sheen of sweat. No matter how hard she tried to hide it, it was always obvious. When his shipmates made fun of her behind her back, he was quick to put them in their place, citing disrespect of a senior officer. But the truth was, he was protective of the people he loved and cared, especially her.

Sturgis knocked on Harm’s quarters, crossing the threshold without waiting for his welcome. He shut the door behind him. “Hey man, we’ve got a ship to shore call from the Admiral holding on the line”.

Harm immediately reached for the phone and pressed the speaker button. If there was anything more he wanted in the world at that moment, it was for his findings to be sufficient to close the investigation so he could get back home. He’d been on that carrier for five whole days, and to him, that was five too many.

“Admiral, good morning” He greeted.

“Morning Commander Rabb, Turner. I’ve got the SECNAV with me. We want to express our appreciation at a most expedited and thorough investigation.” AJ pinned the SECNAV with a look that dared him to voice any arguments.

Harm, on the other end, picked up on the tone in his CO’s voice immediately. “Thank you, sirs”. He knew to keep his responses to a minimum. He and the SECNAV were not on the friendliest of terms, and he knew that AJ’s recommendation to place him at the helm of the investigation was a bitter pill for the SECNAV to swallow. Harm felt he had done his due diligence to ensure both a fair and expedited investigation.

AJ continued. “Admiral Morris and I read over your reports concerning Commander West”. He shuffled the stack of papers in front of him to locate the judge’s recommendation, and having found it, removed it from the pile.

Harm waited somewhat impatiently on the other end of the line, finding that the silence to be nearly suffocating. He sent a quiet plea to the universe that his findings and recommendations were sufficient to close the investigation.

“He found no just cause for pilot error or neglect and has recommended that the investigation be closed without further inquiry. Furthermore, Commander West can resume all previously assigned duties effective immediately”.

It was all Harm could do not to shout out victoriously. Instead, he chose a subtle fist clench.

“We will be sending over a formal letter of release within the hour. You may inform Commander West of our findings,” AJ added.

“Thank you, sir”.

“And Commander Rabb, I spoke with Colonel Mackenzie. Please follow up with her. She would appreciate your feedback.” AJ was careful with his tone in the presence of the SECNAV. After all, romantic relationships between two officers, regardless of rank, were forbidden within the same command. The last thing AJ wanted to do was jeopardize either of his officer’s careers before the opportunity was given to work out alternate placements. If he could have it his way, they would have hooked up a long time ago!

Harm had worked with his CO long enough to know how to read hidden messages within his strictly-business tone or demeanor. He couldn’t get off the phone fast enough. “Yes sir, understood sir”.

The SECNAV chose to spoke at this time, thinly veiling his irritation at having to grovel in gratitude. “Commander Rabb, Turner. On behalf of Commander West, I wanted to extend a word of appreciation at your efforts. AJ was…” he glanced over at the Navy SEAL, who could barely contain a smirk from creeping across his face, “correct in his insistence towards leaving my name out of the investigation”.

Harm and Sturgis exchanged mixed looks of surprise and smugness. Hell did freeze over!

Harm cleared his throat, leaning closer to the handset and ensuring all amusement was vacant from his voice. “Thank you, Mr. SECNAV, I am glad we were able to close it and allow the Commander to resume his duties”.

AJ couldn’t help but enjoy the look of meekness that muddled the face of his superior. He’d lost count as to the number of times he’d been force to swallow his words and cater to the demands of the SECNAV, and he had always hated it especially when his people were thrown into the mix. But once in awhile, such as this day, fate allowed him to be a spectator to Karma’s events as she leveled the playing field. “Rabb, Turner, enjoy the flight home and a job well done. Good day!”

The line went dead, and Harm hung up the phone with a sigh of relief. Not only was his client absolved of any wrongdoing, but he could now get back to his girl! The thought of being home with Mac brought a smile to his face, one that he was unable to cover before Sturgis saw it.

“Time to get you home on the next available helo. They are looking for a break in the weather this afternoon. It should afford you a short window to get out of here”. He laid a hand on his friend’s shoulder. “You’ll be home before you know it. Give my regards to Mac”.

“And it came come a moment too soon”. He shook his hand. “Thanks Sturgis, I mean it.”

“You bet! Now, let’s tell our client the good news and get you packed so you can get out of here”. The duo exited Harm’s quarters, both men’s shoulders considerably lighter than they had been in the last few days.

0900  
Mac’s apartment  
Georgetown, VA

Mac was folding her laundry when a sharp ringing of her phone disturbed her environment. Running to answer it before it woke him, she snapped up the receiver without bothering to check the caller I.D.

“Colonel Mackenzie”

“Mac, it’s AJ. I wanted to let you know the case is over and Commander Rabb will be returning home as soon as the storm in the Atlantic clears. You should be expecting a call from him soon”.

At this revelation, Mac felt her heart both speed up and drop. He was coming home!

“I didn’t expect him home until tomorrow at the earliest, sir. What happened?”.

“The investigation provided no cause of pilot error or mishap. Admiral Morris recommended no further action. We’ve closed the case and Commander West can resume his duties effective immediately”

She was truly grateful for that, especially given the level of scrutiny that Harm and Sturgis had been under. “I know they were happy with that news”.

“Yes, and I told Rabb not to be at the office until Monday. This will give you the opportunity to tell him. Tonight”. He was gentle, but firm. While AJ had been willing to honor her wishes, he was growing tired of fielding Harm’s inquiries; the simple truth was that Mac needed him. For a moment, he hesitated, but after deciding that what the SECNAV didn’t know couldn’t hurt him, he offered a deal, “I’ll arrange a few days of additional leave for the two of you if needed”.

“Thank you, sir, that’s very kind. I…We…may need it. I really need to get off here so that I can call him. Goodnight, Admiral.” She ended the phone call, letting out a deep breath she wasn’t even aware she’d been holding in.

‘Well, Mackenzie, it’s now or never! Call him!’

With the phone still in her hand, she quickly thumbed over the familiar number that held the first position on her speed dial list. ‘Lord, please give me strength to make it through this phone call’. Nervously she pressed the ‘call’ button and waited anxiously for the lines to connect.

Ringggg!…..Riinnnng!…Rinnnnnng!’

Part of her wanted him to pick up, the other part wasn’t so sure. It was this constant tug of war between her mind and heart that left her both confused and exhausted.

Rinnnng!.....Riiiin-

Her heart fluttered as the call picked up and his familiar baritone came across the crackly line, but her anxiety or hopefulness, (Mac wasn’t sure which one) was short-lived upon the realization that she’d received his voicemail.

“This is Commander Harmon Rabb, I hate I missed your call but leave me a quick message and I’ll get back with you as soon as I can’

She quickly swallowed the lump in her throat.

BEEP!

“Hey Harm, the Admiral told me the investigation was over and you were headed out. Um…..I’m glad everything went well,” she fought to steady her voice, “Harm, I really need to talk to you, so, um….if it’s not too much trouble, would you…would you please stop by? I’d appreciate it. Thanks”. She hastily concluded her message and pressed the end button before she could say anymore.

A mixture of disappointment and shame washed over her. While she was sure he had enjoyed being on the carrier, the selfish part of her was glad he was returning home. Her heart longed to see him, to seek shelter in his arm. The wait was almost unbearable

'Whoa Marine! He’s just a friend, remember?’

“Yeah, yeah,” she muttered to herself as she picked up the laundry basket, intent with finishing the two loads she’d put in the dryer earlier. But the world around her suddenly went sideways in a turbulent whirl, and she barely kept herself from losing her balance by clutching the back of the leather loveseat. Mac bit back a groan when the blood rushed to her head, assaulting her with a terrible throbbing at her temples Closing her eyes tightly, she took several deep breaths in an attempt to keep the bile from rising further into her throat. The last thing she wanted was another trip to the bathroom; she had already spent several rounds the past two mornings throwing her guts up. She didn’t think her stomach muscles could handle much more. Mac bit back a groan when the blood rushed to her head, assaulting her with a terrible throbbing at her temples. As the wave of dizziness and nausea passed, she slowly made her way to the kitchen for some aspirin. Removing the bottle from the medicine cabinet, her hands shook as she struggled to uncap the bottle. Quickly she downed three caplets, knowing the only thing that could really make her feel somewhat human was a certain sailor.

1930  
Somewhere on the Beltway  
Georgetown, VA

Harm barely kept within the speed limit as he whisked along the interstate towards Mac’s apartment. Once the weather had cleared enough to warrant a safe flight, Harm had been on the first helo out, and it wasn’t a moment too soon. Sturgis had tolerated his incessant pacing with the patience of a saint, gently reminding him that rubbing a hole in the floor would not get him to Mac any faster. But Harm barely registered his words; his mind was already back at home with her. The moment his feet hit solid ground again, his phone dinged with a voicemail alert. Registering that it was Mac’s number, he immediately hit the button to recalled the message. The sound of her voice, so hesitant and quiet, sent a wave of fear down his spine. His normally confident Marine sounded anything but confident. She sounded utterly lost, as though the weight of the world rested on her shoulders. It was all the information he needed to confirm his suspicions: something was dangerously wrong. It had been an agonizingly slow flight into port, and now, with the desolation of her voice pricking his mind, it seemed that his trip to Georgetown was even slower. Harm felt like it was his rotten luck that every slow person in the county had taken to the roads that evening. His patience was beginning to wane.

‘Tell her as soon as you return home, Harm. Don’t wait another second’

Sturgis’ words echoed in his heads. Harm knew he wouldn’t, couldn’t wait any longer. So many years of confusion, trampled feelings, denial, and missed chances and yet the answer that had been there all along was finally so clear: he loved her. And not just any kind of love. It was the type of love that involved building a home, making a family, and growing old together. He peeled into the parking lot of her apartment complex and wasted no time in exiting the vehicle. He was relieved to see ‘vette was in its usual spot, giving him some reassurance that she was home. He quickly entered the building, heading straight for the elevators. When the elevator doors opened to her floor, he strode out with purpose towards her door. He stood at the threshold, willing his nerves to settle before he softly knocked on the door.

No answer.

‘Her car is here, and it’s late. She’s usually home at this hour.’

He knocked again.

No answer.

“Mac? You home? It’s me,” he called against the white veneer of the door, listening carefully for any sounds of movements on the other side. But he was only met with silence. Hesitating briefly, Harm shook his head as he pulled his keys from his coat pocket. He really hated to intrude on her privacy.

‘What if she was asleep already?

Knowing Mac, though, she often went to bed late. She had told him years before that she suffered from insomnia. He fiddled with the key to her apartment, then paused when a thought flittered across his mind.

‘What if she...was in the bath?'

That would explain her not answering the door.

Unexpectedly, but deliciously appreciated, visions of Mac dressed in nothing more than a bathtowel meandered their way through his mind.

‘Rabb! Get a hold of yourself!’ his conscious reprimanded. He left the key where he was working to unlock the door and decided to knock again.

Suddenly, the door opened. But not the door to Mac’s apartment. It was the one from across the hall, and the unexpected movement made him jump. He turned around to see who was exiting the apartment.

“Commander…..?” the woman eyed him warily.

‘She must be military, or at least a military wife to have recognized my rank’ Harm thought to himself briefly, extending his hand to the woman.

She dusted off the floured hands on the dishtowel thrown over her shoulder before taking his greeting.

“Commander Harmon Rabb, US Navy JAG”. He motioned towards her open door as children’s voices filtered out into the hallway. “I’m sorry to interrupt your meal”.

The woman shook her head. “No problem at all. With two little ones, I’m quite used to the constant interruptions. Stephanie Barnett, by the way,” She jerked her head towards his insignia. “My husband is Lieutenant Commander Thomas Barnett, US Navy. He’s deployed on a carrier in the Indian Ocean right now”.

He nodded in understanding, his suspicions confirmed. “I just returned home from TDY on a carrier myself. Patrick Henry”. He motioned towards Mac’s quiet apartment behind him. “I have been trying to get in touch with my partner, Lieutenant Colonel Sarah Mackenzie, but we keep missing each other”. He took a deep breath. “I…I am concerned about her. She left me a voice message on my phone, asking me to stop by on my way home. She didn’t say anything was out of the ordinary, but…something just didn’t seem right. I am hoping maybe you know where she is?”

Stephanie nodded, then called back into her apartment. “Thomas! Keep an eye on your brother for a minute. Don’t let Joey eat the dog food again!”. She gave Harm an embarrassed smile as she stepped out into the hallway and shut the door behind her. “I have a five year old who has the attention span of gnat and a one year old who just figured out that dog food apparently tastes great”.

Harm couldn’t help but laugh at the mental image. “Well, as my mother used to tell me, when you have a boy, you sign yourself up for all sorts of things, including things you didn’t know you signed up for”.

She eyed him with a knowing smirk. “Well, if you’re anything like my husband, something tells me that you kept your poor mother on her toes quite a bit while growing up”.

“That would be correct, ma’am,”. He turned the conversation back to his partner. “Mac’s car is in the parking lot, but she’s not answering her phone or her door. Have you noticed anything….out of the ordinary?”

Stephanie considered him for a long moment, debating on how much information to divulge. As a general rule, she stayed out the personal affairs of her neighbors. Her life as a military wife had taught her that the less one knew or said, the better off they were. But the Colonel who lived across the hall from her was different. On more than one occasion, Mac had gone out of her way to help the often-frazzled mother of two, yet never expected anything in return. “Just pass it on to another person you see in need. That’s all I ask,” Mac would state when Stephanie attempted to reimburse her for her efforts. And that’s when Stephanie knew she had made a real friend. Not because Mac wouldn’t let her repay her, but because the woman put other’s needs ahead of her own. And so, it was with this knowledge that Stephanie decided it was safe to divulge what little information she held to the Commander waiting patiently for her response.

“I normally don’t like to divulge my neighbor’s personal information or whereabouts,” she began, “But, I feel as though I can trust you. All I know is Colonel Mackenzie has apparently been out of town for several days. She must have returned home at some point today, though, because this evening, there was a commotion in the hallway, and when I looked to see what was going on, there were paramedics hauling a gurney out of her apartment. I couldn’t see who it was; there was a lot of equipment and at least five people gathered around. I heard them refer to the person as, ‘Colonel’”. She shook her head in sympathy as she saw his face take on a look of sheer panic as her words registered. “I’m sorry, that’s all I know. I would have followed them to the hospital, but my youngest just got out of the hospital two days ago from bronchitis, and I can’t leave them alone”.

He swallowed the lump in his throat as he twisted the cover in his hands. “D-Do you happen to know where they were taking….her?” It was all he could do to force the words past the lump in his throat.

“Yes, Georgetown Medical Center. That much I do know”.

“Thank you, ma’am. Again, sorry for interrupting,” he made a motion to quickly leave but was stopped by Stephanie’s hand on his arm.

“Will you let me know what’s going on when you find out? She’s been so good to us”.

He nodded. “Absolutely. You have my word” he tipped his hat to her, “Evening, ma’am”, then dashed towards the stairs. Stephanie remained in the doorway as she watched his retreating figure, hoping her neighbor was okay.

2030

Somewhere on the Beltway

Georgetown, VA

‘Harm….I….I need to talk with you when you get back home. Please. ‘

Her distressed voice, full of suppressed emotions haunted Harm’s thoughts as he whisked along the Beltway. He pressed the gas pedal down further, the speedometer jumping up in response. He was going well over ten past the limit, but it didn’t matter; the only thing that did was getting to her. The rational side of him nudged its way thru, though, forcing him to flick on the hazard lights as a precaution. The last thing he wanted or needed was to get pulled over.

‘Paramedics…..her apartment….Colonel’

Stephanie’s words kept repeating as an echo within his ear. He didn’t remember anything she said after that. As soon as the words registered, fear begin to pool inside, spreading throughout his body and nearly paralyzing him in its wake. Thwarted by a redlight at a busy intersection, he grabbed his cell phone, punched the speed dial for AJ, and waited impatiently for the line to pick up. It was just a few seconds, but it seemed like an eternity before AJ’s gruff voice came across the speaker. But his response very clipped.

“Rabb, meet -me- -Georgeto- -Med- Cent- r-.”

‘He must have been anticipating my call because he skipped right past the greeting’ Harm thought, an unpleasant idea forming at the edge of his mind.

The connection between the two callers was weak as his C.O’s words were garbled.

“Sir, what’s going on? Is Mac okay?”

“I will ex-lain -to- - -you- -get- -‘ere” The line was now filled with static and a chain of broken words.

“IS MAC OKAY!?” Harm practically screamed into the phone, no longer caring about the level of his voice or his failure to address his C.O. appropriately.

“Rabb, she’s- “

The line went dead, a victim of poor handoff from one cell phone tower to another.

In a fit of frustration, Harm threw his phone against the dashboard, his blood running cold. He was confused, scared….and pissed as hell. If something had happened to Mac and the Admiral either knew about it or put her in danger, Harm wasn’t so sure his nearly seventeen years’ worth of military discipline would be enough to keep him from physically harming his C.O. He swore violently, returning his focus back to the road. He pressed the pedal even harder as the panic damn near threatened to run him off the road.

::: END CHAPTER SEVEN::


	8. Chapter Eight

Title: “I’ll Be There” Chapter Eight  
Author: Macattack102712, aka “Mac Mackenzie”  
Publish Date: Original Publish date: August 2002, redone and completed Fall/Winter 2017.  
Pairing: Harm/Mac  
Category: Romance/Angst  
Summary: Mac gets devastating news regarding her beloved Uncle Matt. Her JAG family must come together to get her thru the hardest trial of her life. In the process, she learns the tremendous gift and power that comes with letting love in.   
Author’s Notes: Please see previous chapters.

2100 Zulu  
Georgetown Medical Center  
Georgetown, VA

“You’re telling me that you have no patient by the name of Sarah Mackenzie? No one by that name has checked in here?” Harm nearly yelled in frustration at the poor clerk behind the counter. His emotions were all over the place, and it was taking everything in him to keep from just barging past the security doors to his right. He would turn that hospital inside and out if that is what it would take to find her, consequences be damned! 

The clerk typed Mac’s name again into the database, but received no hits. “No sir, we don’t. I’m sorry”. 

At that moment, an older woman in her fifties appeared from around the corner, a look of disapproval shadowing her face. It was obvious she had been alerted to the raised voice of the unhappy Naval Commander just outside her office door. She peered over the bridge of her dark-rimmed glasses and regarded him with thinly veiled disdain. “Is there a problem here, sir?” 

‘Obviously there is, otherwise I wouldn’t be standing here!’ 

Harm bit back the retort that rested on his lips, choosing to release his frustration by tightening his grip on the counter. “I am trying to get information on a patient that was admitted here just a few hours ago. Name’s Mackenzie, Lieutenant Colonel Sarah E. Mackenzie”. He gestured towards the clerk, who sat quietly in her chair awaiting direction from the supervisor. “This young lady here, is telling me there is no one by that name in the system. She is clearly mistaken”. 

She eyed him suspiciously. “And who, may I ask, are you in relation to the supposed patient?”

He pulled himself up to his full height with an Aire of authority. “I’m Lieutenant Commander Harmon Rabb, Jr, US NAVY JAG Corps. I am the patient’s medical and durable power of attorney. I have also been her work partner and best friend for over five years”. Although he didn’t want to throw his judicial weight around, he would for Mac’s safety and wellbeing. 

‘And she’s also the woman I love more than life itself’. 

“Do you need her DOB, SSN, and Military ID number? Because I’ve got that, too”. He dared them to challenge him about releasing information to unauthorized individuals. 

The supervisor clicked her tongue as she sized him up for a minute. She’d had many a family member breeze thru her lobby, demanding information on a patient without so much as an ounce of credibility or authorization, but this man…he was different. While he was obviously frustrated with the situation, he remained respectful, an element that did not escape her scrutiny. “And you’re sure she came here, today?”

He could barely keep from screaming. 

What did it take for these people to get it thru their thick skulls!?? 

“Yes” He drew the one syllable out with thinly veiled annoyance. “She left me a voicemail asking me to come by her apartment. I stopped by but she did not answer the door or her phone. Her neighbor said the paramedics were at her apartment around 1800 and transported her here,”. He gestured towards the computer, “That was over two hours ago. I would assume she should have already made it into the system”. 

“I understand,” the supervisor said, but Harm wasn’t convinced that she did. She motioned for the clerk to step aside, and following a moment of silence and a few more clicks through the database, she addressed him with an apologetic smile. “I’m really sorry sir, but it’s apparent that Ms. Mackenzie’s neighbor was mistaken. There is no one by that name in our system. We have tried her DOB, her SSN, and there is no record of her admission”. She scrolled through the database once more before returning her attention back to the near panicked Navy Lawyer. “Perhaps she was misinformed and the EMT’s transported her to Bethesda instead”.

“Ma’am, with all due respect, Bethesda is at least a 45-minute drive from here. If you’ll notice, Colonel Mackenzie’s address is Georgetown. It would make zero sense for her to go to a hospital that is further away.” He was hanging on to his patience by a mere thread.

‘What does it take to get thru to these idiots?’ 

“Please, look again. It’s Mackenzie. M-a-c-k-e-n-z-i-e”. 

Just then a familiar voice boomed out from behind him. “Commander, if you’ll come with me, please”. 

Harm spun around to find AJ waving at the clerk as he approached the desk. ‘Great timing, Admiral’ he thought sarcastically. 

“My apologies, Ms. Perry. You are looking for the wrong patient”. He showed the two his visitor badge and jerked his eyes towards Harm. “I will take it from here”. 

The supervisor gave a low huff of annoyance. “I see. In that case” she typed a few letters into the database, “Colonel O’Hara’s been moved to a room now.” 

Huh??? 

A look of confusion furrowed Harm’s brow as he worked thru this new piece of information. ‘Colonel O’Hara? That’s Mac’s uncle! What does he have to do with this?’  
The clerk scribbled a number on a Post-It ® note, then passed it to AJ. “Across from the elevators take a right and there will be an intake desk. Make sure you check in”.

“Thank you, ladies.” AJ took the note from her outstretched hand, then grabbed Harm by the elbow as he escorted them away from the desk. The security guard pressed the lock release and the double doors swung open, leading to a long corridor with a set of elevators to the left and nurses’ station to the right. The hallway was empty save for one lone janitor quietly mopping the tiled floor. 

“I don’t appreciate being kept in the dark, especially when the wellbeing of Mac is concerned. I have a feeling you know what’s going on, sir,” Harm declared, unable to keep bitter accusation from creeping into his voice. And frankly, he didn’t give a damn. It was obvious that his C.O. had been withholding information from him, a fact that made him bristle. 

“Yes, Commander, I do, but we will wait until the Colonel can join us,” AJ replied firmly, daring Harm to argue. Between Mac’s stubbornness and Harm’s bullheadedness, it was no wonder AJ had migraines on the daily! He stopped at the nurse’s station, handed the note to the station ward, then proceeded through another set of double doors that opened into a small waiting room. There, Harriet and Bud stood to greet them, little AJ snuggled sleepily against his father’s shoulder. Upon seeing Harm walk thru the door, he immediately perked up. 

“Unca ‘arm!” he yelped, reaching for his godfather.

“Hey there little man! I’ve missed you so much!” He took little AJ in his arms, ruffling his golden blonde hair before shifting the boy’s weight to his hip.   
AJ patted his face with a grubby hand. “Mommy said Aun Mac is sad. Are you gonna make her better?” 

Harm looked at Bud and Harriet with a mixture of curiosity and alarm. Mindful of his godson, whose eyes were wide in rapt attention, he worked to keep the anxiety out of his voice. “I don’t know, little man. Bud, Harriet, what’s going on?”. 

Just then, a physician walked through the doors, a clipboard with paperwork attached to it in his hands. “Excuse me for interrupting, but I wanted to let you know that the patient is stabilized,” he checked his watch, “and visiting hours end at 2100, so you’ll want to get in there pretty soon.” He smiled and jerked a thumb over to the station ward. “Amy is a drill sergeant when it comes to visiting hours. She runs a tight ship, so don’t be surprised when she evicts you the minute both hands hit the nine”   
Amy gave him a sour look as she rose from her chair. “Can’t have my patients not sleeping because family members want to flap their jaws until the wee hours of the morning”. She held up her hands in defense. “Don’t blame me. Doctor’s orders, right?”. With a playful smirk, she disappeared into the adjacent medical supply room.

The small group chuckled at the exchange, but Harm felt anything but jovial. He felt as though the punchline had been delivered, yet he’d been the brunt of the joke. He opened his mouth to speak, but AJ held up his hand. “Have a seat Harm, I will be back in just a minute, and I’ll explain everything”.

He slumped down into the nearest chair, his shoulders sagging from the weight of the unknown.

What in the world was going on?

2015 Zulu  
Georgewtown Medical Center  
Georgetown, VA

Mac gently stroked her uncle’s hand, unwilling to take her eyes off the gentle rise and fall of his chest. He had briefly awoken since being admitted to his room, but the drugs and sedatives he had been given was too much and he gave up the fight to stay awake. The last few hours had been a whirlwind of chaos that sucked what little energy she had from her. Upon returning home from a quick but necessary trip to the nearby grocery store, she had found him lying unresponsive on the bathroom floor. She didn’t even remember making the 911 call. All she remembered was trying to wake him up, and then suddenly four EMT’s were barging through her door and she was pushed out of the way. It had been over four hours, and yet the adrenaline had just begun to wane, leaving her trembling in its wake. She rested her forehead against their joined hands. The guilt washed over her in uncontrollable waves; guilt at what could have happened had the paramedics not arrived so quickly…guilt at the thought of what could have happened had she spent just another minute longer at the grocery store. And with the guilt came the self-deprecating thoughts.

“I should have known something was wrong, Uncle Matt. I’m so, so sorry. I should have never left you alone! It’s all my fault”. She choked back the sobs that begged for release as she ran her thumb over the palm of his right hand. “I didn’t even have you home two days and I caused you to end up in the hospital. What kind of caregiver am I??” 

A soft knock on the door startled her. She looked up to find A.J. standing at the threshold. Quickly she brushed the tears from her eyes in hopes that he wouldn’t see them, and made a motion to stand. He waved her down as he entered the room. “Rabb’s in the waiting room. Damn near threatened the poor clerk at the desk trying to get information on you”. 

Mac took a deep breath, the knowledge of his presence just around the corner sending her nerves in outer orbit where the black abyss worked to suck her in.   
Even from where he stood, AJ could see her hands trembling uncontrollably. But she refused to look at him; instead, she kept her head down, eyes fixated on the floor. 

“It’s time you told him, Mac.”

She nodded in silence as she nervously threaded her fingers together in an attempt to still them. “I called him as soon as I got off the phone with you last night. But he didn’t answer. I guess he was in flight. I left a message asking him to stop by on his way home, but then this happened, and…I don’t….”. She swiped angrily at the tears. “Sir, it’s my fault Uncle Matt is here. He’s here because of me!”

AJ was confused. “What are you talking about, Mac? When you called me, you said you found him unresponsive on the floor in the bathroom”.

Swallowing thickly, she ran an agitated hand thru her hair. “I was going to cook him breakfast, but I didn’t have enough ingredients. And Uncle Matt loves pancakes with chocolate chips. I-I-I wanted him to have his favorite pancakes. So I went to the store and, and I…I went thru there as fast as I could I…I almost forgot the eggs and had to go back, I mean, they changed the store around on me since the last time I was there, I walked right by them!” She was rambling at this point, but AJ just let her talk. He could see the chinks beginning to form in the walls she’d so carefully built around herself. It was time to let them fall. 

“I got this feeling, you know, that feeling when something is not right, so I got back to the apartment as fast as I could. He-he wasn’t on the couch where I left him.I ran into the bathroom and there he was…he was on the floor. Sir, he was so still, so p-pale, he was sweating so much, and his breathing was funny. I don’t remember calling 911. But he’s here all because of some damn eggs!”. She slumped back in her chair, exhaustion driving the fight from her body. “I’m sorry, sir, I don’t know what just came over me. I’m usually more put together than this”. 

AJ squeezed her shoulder. “You have nothing to apologize for, Mac. This is exactly why you need to let us in. You can’t-” he paused, corralling his words as he worked to make them sound more of a request than an order, “You don’t need to do this on your own. We’re here for you. All you have to do is just let us in, even if it’s only a little. You’ve got a whole team waiting on the sidelines”. 

Mac sniffled, then looked up at him. Her eyes were full of unshed tears. “I’ve been on my own my whole life, sir. I don’t, I don’t really know how to do this”. 

“The first step is always the hardest, Mac. But it also brings the biggest reward, don’t you think?” He regarded her for a long moment as she contemplated his advice. “Harm’s out there waiting. If I make him wait any longer, I’m afraid he’ll come in here, guns blazing. And lord knows I don’t need him shooting up another ceiling!” 

His comment drew a quiet laugh. “At least he will have a good lawyer to come to his defense”. She gave him a tentative smile as he stepped aside to let her pass.   
“He most certainly would, Mac”. He looked at her. “Ready?”

She let out a shaky breath. “As ready as I’ll ever be”. 

2130 Zulu  
Georgetown Medical Center  
First Floor Waiting Room

Mac halted her footsteps when she’d reached the door to the waiting room, well aware of who was waiting on the other side. She took a deep breath to calm her nerves, then quietly pushed open the door, the cold rush of air soothing her irritated cheeks. At the sudden movement, Harm jumped to his feet, nearly crumpling at the sight of her. Relief washed over him to see that she was alive and unharmed. But it was evident in her body language that something was terribly wrong. Her eyes were bloodshot, skin pale with blotches of red scattered on her cheeks. She looked as though she’d lost ten pounds from her already thin frame.

“Mac! What happened? Are you okay? What’s going on?” he bombarded her with questions as he swept her into a near-crushing hug. Overwhelmed at the sudden attention, she felt the panic begin to rise up in her throat. AJ laid a firm hand on his shoulder in a subtle gesture to reel the younger man in.

“Give her a moment, Harm. She’ll answer your question as soon as she’s given a chance”. Mac flashed him a look of gratitude and took a seat next to Harm, with the Roberts’ settling in across from her. 

“This afternoon I came back from getting some groceries for the apartment. Uncle Matt was resting when I left…I…I didn’t plan on being gone long at all. When I got back home, I found him…lying on the floor. He was pale and shaking. His breathing was very laboured. I didn’t know what else to do, so I called 911”. She fought to keep herself together in front of everyone, especially little AJ as he was watching her carefully. 

Thoroughly confused, Harm was quiet as he worked to process the information. ‘Colonel O’Hara is serving time in Leavenworth for stealing the Declaration of Independence. He’s not eligible for parole for another two years. Why is he in a hospital in Virginia?’

Harriet’s voice broke into his thoughts. “What did the doctors have to say?”

“They said his prescriptions were too strong, a bad cocktail so to speak, and his lungs weren’t getting enough oxygen. The O2 level they sent us home on wasn’t high enough. That, combined with the long flight, was just too much and it caught up to him once I got him settled at home”. She shifted nervously in her chair and rubbed her clammy palms against the coarse denim of her jeans. She could feel Harm’s unrelenting gaze boring into her. “The physician wants to keep him overnight to ensure his new settings and medications will be sufficient. He should be discharged sometime tomorrow morning”. Mac risked a glance at them, willing her voice to sound convincing even though she felt anything but that. “You guys should go home and rest. I’ve got everything handled, really”. 

She winced against the painful throb in her head, a move that did not go unnoticed by Harriet. She looked at the Admiral with concern, the unspoken request in her eyes. 

‘Don’t let her push him away, sir’. 

“I’m not going anywhere.” Harm announced firmly, giving her no room for argument. 

Harriet chose at this moment to speak. “What can we help you with” She knew from experience that leaving the power of decision and delegation to the recipient was the most helpful gift. 

“Nothing, really. I’m fine. Just take care of yourselves and that godson of mine” She managed a small smile as AJ clambered down from his perch on Bud’s lap and moved over to her cautiously, his eyes full of unasked questions. She pulled him onto her lap, nuzzling his baby fine hair. 

“Aun’ Mac, I don’t wike hospwuls,” he told her quietly. “I got an owie here, ‘member?”. He pointed to the scar on his chin from when he fell off the jungle gym at daycare a few weeks earlier. The fall resulted in a busted chin, several stitches, and a stout cognac for Harriet. 

Mac kissed the top of his head, twiddling her fingers with his. “I don’t like hospitals either, baby. You are so brave. I want to be brave like you,” she whispered as she patted his leg affectionately. 

“Ma’am, we’ll come by to check on you once you get him home. Make a list of what you need help with and we’ll be glad to step in.” Bud bent down to give her a quick hug, then held out a hand for his son. “Come on buddy, it’s past your bedtime. Say goodnight to everyone”. 

“Thank you, Bud and Harriet. You are truly wonderful friends”. She set her godson gently on his feet and leaned forward to look into his eyes. “You be a good boy for me, okay? I love you big!”. 

Little AJ nodded solemnly, then motioned her forward with his index finger. He gave her a light peck on the lips. “I wove you too Aun Mac!”. 

Her heart constricted as he took his place between Bud and Harriet, each holding a little hand. Her friends had everything she so desperately wanted but seemed to be just out of her reach; a solid marriage, someone to grow old with, and a beautiful child to share her life with. A pang of envy washed over her when they left the room, AJ clumsily waving bye before the doors shut behind them. 

Looking at Harm’s still puzzled expression, she knew it was time. 

“Mac, I believe you owe Harm an explanation. He needs to know.” AJ glanced down the hall at the retreating family. “I’m going to grab some more coffee.” He stood, then fixed Harm with a look that meant business. “Rabb, take care of her”. And then he was gone, leaving the two of them alone. 

No sooner had the double doors shut when Harm pulled his chair in front of her, gently taking her hands in his. The warmth from his touch traveled along her fingers, seeping into her entire body. “Mac? What’s going on?” A sick feeling developed in the pit of his stomach. “Don’t shut me out, please”.

She slowly raised her head to meet his troubled gaze with her own red-rimmed eyes. “Earlier in the week I got a call concerning my uncle at Leavenworth. They said he’d been sick, but they just assumed it was the stomach flu. When he didn’t improve, they ran a series of tests. They were concerned about the possibility of cancer. When the results came back in, it came back…p-positive”. Her voice caught in her throat and she looked away in an attempt to get her emotions under control. “Harm, my uncle…. he’s dying….”

He felt like he’d been shoved into a pool of thick ice, the words numbing him to his core, crushing and threatening to remove all the breath from his body. “Oh Jesus…Sarah...I am sorry, so, so sorry”. He whispered as he wrapped her into his arms, tucking her head into the crook of her neck. 

Her heart fluttered at the sound of her name in his voice. It touched her deeply that he had called her by her given name. She could count on one hand the number of times he’d said it, and each had been carefully categorized and filed away within the deepest recesses of her mind. After another long moment, she forced herself to gently pull away, unwilling to let Harm see any weakness in her yet unwilling to leave the safety that his embrace provided. 

He brushed the hair away from her face and wiped the errant tears from the corners of her eyes. “How…how much time?

“Maybe two months, three if he’s lucky”. She glanced down the hallway towards her uncle’s room, a fresh batch of tears coming to the surface. She nervously picked at a thread in her jeans. “But…I think it will be much sooner than that”. 

He stilled her movements with his hand. “They’re not going to try chemotherapy?”

She shook her head in response. “No, it’s spread…ev-everywhere. It’s in his lungs, now. He’s going, Harm. Fast”. Her heart too much to keep the tears in anymore and the dam burst. He sat back in his chair and pulled her into his warm embrace, letting the grief pour out as he held her against his chest. She buried her head into his shoulder and sobbed, the walls she’d built around herself crumbling into an ocean of grief. 

His heart ached at the sound of her cries as he realized the utter depth of her pain. Her thin frame shook with each sob. He whispered loving words of comfort in her ear, stroking her silky hair. It didn’t matter how long she needed him; he was there to stay, forever. 

Neither Harm nor Mac noticed that AJ had been standing outside the double doors, smiling softly at the sight of his officers. 

‘God I hope those two realize what they have between them’.

Deciding that another stroll down the hallway wouldn’t hurt, he walked away. 

Harm caught a glimpse of his C.O. as he walked away, knowing he’d seen him in an intimate embrace with Mac. But he didn’t care. No amount of regulations or charges would be enough to keep him away from the woman who’d captured his heart so many years earlier. Sturgis’ advice echoed in the recesses of his mind, but now wasn’t the time for him to tell her how he felt. She had enough going on without him overwhelming her with his feelings. The past few years had been hard enough on her emotion. All she needed to know right now was that he was there for her, not just in that moment, but for all the ones that would come soon thereafter. 

Several long minutes later, Mac’s sobs had subsided to occasional hiccups as she struggled to draw herself together. She put some distance between them but did not withdraw completely. She just couldn’t bring herself to break the connection.

He reached for the box of Kleenex on the table next to them, pulling out a few tissues. “Feel better?” 

Her voice was tearful but steady, “Yeah, I do. Thank you”. She looked at his shirt and sighed. “Oh Harm, I messed up your shirt”. 

He looked down, noticing the dark splotches on his uniform where her face had been pressed against his chest. But he didn’t care; all he cared about is that he was here, with her. He’d take a thousand more smudges on his shirt if it meant holding her in his arms the rest of his life. He shrugged, “It doesn’t matter”, then tucked her even closer. “I’ll always be there for you”. He smiled into her eyes, cradling the right side of her face with his left hand. It was a gesture that had become so familiar to her over the years, one that she took much comfort in. 

“Why didn’t you tell me about your uncle sooner? I came by your apartment the night we flew out to the Patrick Henry, but you were already gone”. 

“Harm, I didn’t want to burden you. And I knew the investigation was too important, especially with it being the SECNAV’s nephew. Besides,” she blew out a breath, “there was nothing you could have done, honestly”.

“Mac, I would have been on the next available flight stateside to go with you, consequences be dammed”. He was frustrated, not with her, but with the situation. “I asked the Admiral if you were okay, and he pretty much lied to me. He wouldn’t tell me anything. But I knew something wasn’t right. I nearly drove Sturgis crazy worrying about you. He couldn’t wait for me to be on the first helo home!”

A rueful smile graced her features as she reached out to touch his cheek. “I know, flyboy, and that’s why I didn’t tell you. I asked the Admiral to keep it quiet”. She sighed, dropping her hands to cover his own. She threaded her fingers with his. “Harm, please don’t be angry with him. He booked my flight, found me a place to stay at this beautiful B&B even went so far as to arrange transportation the entire time I was there. He took care of everything. I don’t know what I would’ve done without him stepping in.”

The resentment Harm held towards his C.O since his return from sea slowly dissipated with her words. He didn’t like it, but he understood. Hell, if the roles had been reversed he doubted seriously that he would have not made the same decision. 

“I was going to tell you when you got back. It’s why I called you. But then this happened…” She trailed off, the ache at her temples having returned, and she closed her eyes against the painful throbbing. 

Concern crawled its way back into his voice. “Mac? Are you feeling okay?”. He felt forehead; it was blazing hot. “You’re burning up!”.

With his penetrating gaze upon her, she had no choice but to be honest. Well, as honest as she could be given the circumstances. “I’ve got a pretty bad headache. But it’s nothing that some ibuprofen can’t take care of. I keep forgetting to ask the nurse for some”. She went to stand, but dizziness suddenly overcame her and she swayed on her feet. His quick reflexes caught her before she could lose her balance. His concern was immediate as he took in the unnatural paleness of her skin and hands that trembled. 

“Mac, what the hell is going on!?” Harm exclaimed, panic thick in his voice. 

“I just stood up too fast, that’s all” She attempted to dismiss his concern as she didn’t need him worrying unnecessarily. Besides, her primary focus was on her uncle, not herself. 

Harm kept a firm arm around her waist, unwilling to let her go. “Like hell it is! Have you eaten anything today?”

She shook her head in response, leaning heavily against him despite her best efforts. She was beyond exhausted. “I tried, but…I wasn’t able to keep it down”.   
“When was the last time you ate anything substantial?” 

Mac shrugged. “I’m not really sure, I guess before I flew out to Leavenworth”.

“That was almost a week ago! No wonder you feel so bad!” His resolve to take care of her grew even stronger; there was no way he was leaving her side, not now, not ever.

“I know that!” she snapped, becoming irritated at his incessant questioning. She knew he was only trying to be helpful but she was exhausted, and her mind just couldn’t take anymore. She covered her face with her hands. “I’m sorry, Harm. You didn’t deserve that”. 

Harm gently removed her hands, then tucked a finger under her chin. “Hey, it’s okay. You’ve been dealing with a lot”. He flashed her his infamous smile so that she would know he really meant it. “Do you think you could eat something from the cafeteria? Maybe soup or something else that would be easy on your stomach?” 

She nodded. “I’ll try. You holding me while I sobbed like a big baby helped take a little of the stress off me”. Embarrassed at her show of emotions, she attempted to put a little distance between them. 

He tightened his hold on her, refusing to let her back away. “You have nothing to be ashamed of. You let a tremendous amount of stress go. Mac, you are one of the strongest people I’ve ever met. I’m so lucky to have you in my life”. 

He watched as the blush flashed across her cheeks. She always had such a hard time accepting compliments! 

‘Probably because she doesn’t get them often, Rabb! You’ve done a consistent job of dismissing her talents and abilities, especially in the courtroom!

He made it a point to remember to point out her abilities and compliment her more, even if it meant opening himself up to her more. 

Her soft voice and even softer kiss on his cheek broke into his thoughts. “Thanks, Harm, you’ve always known how to make me feel better about myself” 

“I’ve only said what’s true, Mac, you just don’t give yourself enough credit. Now let’s go find the Admiral and get something on your stomach”. With her tucked securely against his side, they vacated the waiting room in search of their C.O., temporarily abandoning the load of stress both had been carrying for the past week. 

1334  
Three weeks later  
JAG HQ  
Mac’s office  
Falls Church, VA

Mac had just finished writing her report on the Davenport case when a knock interrupted her thoughts. “Come in!” She knew who was on the other side of the door without even having to look up; she felt his presence wherever she went, and her uncanny ability to know his whereabouts baffled even herself. It was an aspect of their relationship that she quit trying to dissect, choosing to blame it on the visceral connection they shared. Removing another file folder, Mac sighed in relief as she saw that the stack was quickly dwindling. After returning from Leavenworth with her uncle, she found that the Admiral had already submitted her request for FMLA. Much to his initial protest, she had asked to work three half-days a week. It gave her an opportunity to get out of the stifling environment that tended to surround the apartment, and provided privacy to Matthew when the hospice caregivers came by to bathe him. 

Sure enough, Harm entered a moment later, his overcoat and briefcase in hand. He flashed her the infamous smile that set her heart trembling and ignited a rush of heat to her cheeks….

‘And other places!’ her mind chided. She shook her head as if to clear the residual thought, then motioned for him to sit. 

“What can I do for you, sailor?” 

“Well, I was wondering if the two of you would want to come over for dinner this evening”. He fidgeted in his chair. “Of course, if he isn’t feeling up to it, it’s okay.” He held his breath, hoping she would accept his invitation.

The anxiousness was unmistakable in his voice, and it made Mac feel even worse knowing she would have to decline. Due to their respective caseloads and ongoing investigations, not to mention her uncle’s rapidly declining health, they had been like ships passing in the night. She desperately wanted to spend some time with him, but her obligations to her uncle and her job took priority. “Oh Harm, I wish I could. It’s just that-“. 

He cut her off with a wave of his hand. “I know, it’s okay, Mac, really it is”. He flashed her another of his infamous smiles to let her know he was serious. 

God, one of these days he’s going to flash that smile and I’m going to flat-out faint!” 

A light smile made its way to her lips as she continued to stare at him. 

“What are you smiling about, Marine?” he joked. ‘I have really missed her smiles. They put the sun to shame!”

His question jolted her back to reality, and she couldn’t stop the rush of heat spreading over his face. 

“Uh...oh, noth…nothing at all. Just got lost in thought”. She willed her heart to settle down. ‘Good grief MacKenzie! You’re acting like a lovesick teenager!’

“Oh well, in that case, I need to be getting home, and so do you. It’s late”. He pulled on his overcoat. “Time to pack it up, ninjagirl. I will walk you out”.

Mac turned to clean up her folders and move them to the metal filing cabinet behind her. Harm found himself unable to keep from staring at her graceful form as she puttered about the office. She looked at him over her shoulder as she worked. “How would you feel about coming by my apartment instead? We don’t have much in the way of groceries, but there’s this really good Indian restaurant just down the street from me. I’ll swing by on the way home and order takeout”. 

Just the thought of spending time with her filled his heart with joy. “Better yet, how about you call in it and I’ll pick it up? I need to stop by my apartment and change anyway. No need for you to get out in this mess any more than you have to”.

Indeed, the weather had taken a nasty turn after the noon hour. The temperature outside had dropped considerably, such that the rain had transformed to a wintery mix of slushy ice and snow. 

His thoughtfulness touched her heart, and the sincerity filled her eyes when she accepted his offer. “That would be really nice, thanks Harm”. She shut off her monitor, then snapped her briefcase closed before coming around to the front of her desk. 

He removed her overcoat and matching wool scarf from the rack, motioning for her to turn so that he could slip it over her arms. She maneuvered the over-sized buttons into their respective holes, starting from the bottom and working her way to the top. Engrossed in what she was doing, she failed to notice that Harm had wrapped the wool scarf around her neck, tucking the ends into the upper shoulder flap of her coat. His fingers accidentally brushed the slope of her neck, and she froze. Her heart began to thump erratically in her chest, and she was certain it would leap right out of her throat and go running across the empty bullpen. Her eyes traveled up to meet his. The look in his eyes nearly drove the very breath from her body. 

She had only seen him look at her like this twice; the first time occurred when she showed up on the docks at Norfolk, dressed in Harriet’s spare uniform, unintentionally looking like Harm’s murdered girlfriend, Diane Schonke. The fact that she held an uncanny resemblance to the aforementioned deceased had remained an uncomfortable point of existence in their relationship. In the years since, Mac had lost count as to the number of times she’d replayed their first but kiss in her head. But no matter how many times she did so, she always wound up more confused than before. Who was he really kissing that night? Some days she was convinced that he was kissing Diane goodbye, and others she felt that maybe, just maybe, he was kissing her. The second time she had caught him looking at her with something indecipherable in his eyes occurred during his temporary assignment as acting JAG. He had toppled backwards in the Admiral’s chair, and for a few days afterwards, he seemed to look at, and regard her, in a very different way. And it was the way he looked at her then that was exactly as he looked at her now. There was something so familiar, yet unfamiliar in his eyes…

The moment his fingers grazed her soft skin, a jolt of electricity went straight through his veins, setting all forty-six miles of nerves in his body on fire. The years he spent as a fighter pilot managing a 3,000-ton F-14 within his hands had left his reflexes tight, fingertips ultrasensitive. This, combined with the instinctual way he felt and heard every move and breath she took as though it were his own, allowed him to feel the erratic pulse beating beneath his fingertips.   
She wanted to say something, oh how she did! But her brain was too fuzzy to form a coherent thought, especially when his fingertips traveled up past her chin to rest, almost featherlike, on her lips. This only served to send her heart skittering even more, and she breathed deep to settle it back into its rightful place within her chest. She watched, her eyes searching his, as his face inched closer to hers.

A movement out of the corner of her eye made her jump. Somebody had just entered the glass doors that separated the bullpen from the elevator corridor.   
It was the Admiral.

Both instinctively put some distance between each other.

AJ stopped short when he noticed the pair just inside Mac’s office. “Commander? Colonel? What are you still doing here?” 

“Oh, uh…we were, uh, I was, um, just checking with the Colonel before I went home for the evening, sir. I uh, thought I would take her to din- I mean, her and Colonel O’Hara to dinner.” He finished lamely, “Tonight.”

He could kick himself! Get it together, Rabb! 

AJ’s eyes flicked between the two. From the blush creeping across Mac’s face to the way Harm shifted his weight nervously, it was obvious that he had interrupted something.

‘I really don’t want to know. The less I know, the better off we all are’. 

“Is that so, Commander? Colonel?”  
Mac nodded solemnly, her demeanor stoic. “Yes, sir” She gestured towards her briefcase. “I was working late on the Davenport case when the Commander stopped by to offer dinner. He waited on me to close up my office so he could walk me to my car. We were just leaving, sir”. 

By far, Mac was the more eloquent and convincing in her delivery despite her shifty gaze. The seriousness with which she validated Harm’s statement nearly caused him to laugh out loud. AJ decided to make them squirm a bit more; after all, what were Admiral’s privileges for if he couldn’t have fun with them every now and then? He deliberately walked closer to them until he was roughly a foot away, never breaking his gaze. “It’s 2100, rather late for dinner, don’t you think? I assume you both will be at work in the morning” He emphasized the last two words, “On time.” It took all of his training as a NAVY SEAL to keep any hint of amusement from his voice. He could swear a fine bead of sweat popped up just beneath Harm’s hairline!

Harm swallowed thickly. “Yes sir, that would be a correct assumption”. What was about his C.O.’s mere presence that made him feel like he was back in his elementary principal’s office for trying to plant a kiss on the cutest girl in his first-grade class? 

AJ took a minute more to scrutinize them before deciding he wouldn’t be able to contain his laughter much longer. “Very well, then. Goodnight Colonel, Commander”. He strode past them to his office to retrieve the file folder containing the list of options regarding assignments for the two lawyers he’d just interrogated. If the exchange that just occurred were any indicator, he’d need to figure out what he was going to do with them sooner rather than later. “I swear, they are going to send me to an early grave” he muttered as he searched for the folder on his desk. 

Mac and Harm risked glances at each other, then decided they’d better be a hasty retreat before the Admiral could ask them any more questions. Automatically placing a hand at the small of her back, he ushered her out of the building and to her car. He waited while she started buckled herself in. 

“Um, I’ll see you in about thirty, is that ok?” Harm was nervous again, afraid she’d changed her mind following the exchange that had occurred.

“You’d better be on time, flyboy. Marines don’t like to be kept waiting, especially if it’s at the hands of a squid!” She gave him a full smile, then motioned towards her phone. “I’m going to call it in before I get on the road. No need to wait on me”. 

He shook his head. “For you, I’ll be early”. He went to close the door, then stopped. “And I’ll always wait on you, as long as it takes”. He let the words hang in the air between them for a brief moment before gently shutting the door, leaving a gaping Marine behind. 

2130   
Mac’s Apartment  
Georgetown, VA  
“There, now you’ve got a fresh set of sheets on the bed, and your pajamas should be just about dry”. Mac helped him to a sitting position on the side of the hospital bed that the palliative care company had brought. She handed him his cane, then set his slippers next to his feet. The buzzer for the dryer went off, alerting her that the load of laundry was done. “Ah! Speak of the devil! Let me go get the load out before it wrinkles”. 

He caught her arm as she turned to leave for the laundry room off the kitchen. “Thanks, Sarah”. 

A puzzled expression muddled her features. “What for?”

He gestured towards himself in one sweeping motion. “I just wanted to tell you how much I appreciate all you are doing for me. I know it’s not easy, this”. He tugged on her arm gently, indicating his desire for her to sit. 

“Oh, Uncle Matt” she sighed, perching herself on the edge of the mattress, “you know I’d lay down my life for you. I’d do anything you needed me to do”. She moved to bracket his face, her hands gently tracing the fine wrinkles. “You have always been there when I’ve needed you. Always. I’m honored I get the chance to do something for you in return…you know, show you that I wasn’t a waste of your time”. 

Matthew grabbed her hands where they rested on his cheeks. “Sarah, you listen to me, and you listen to me well. You never were a waste of my time. Never could be, even if you tried. My only regret is the time I wasted on the unimportant things. I love you,” he squeezed her hands, then gave affectionately tweaked her nose.   
“I love you, too, Uncle Matt. You’ll never know how much”. 

He pulled her close in the tightest hug he could manage given his weakened state. Laying her head against his chest, she heard his heart quietly sound out its rhythm, knowing that one day very soon, it would go silent For a few minutes, they stayed that way until a sharp knock at the door forced them apart. 

“Better go let that handsome squid of yours in before he breaks down the door,” Uncle Matt teased. 

She blushed profusely as she went to answer it. “Uncle Matt! He’s not mine!” She quickly ran a hand over her hair to smooth it down, then opened the door, a full smile covering her face at the sight of him. “You’re two minutes early, quite a record for a squid!” She stepped aside to let him in.

“I’m always on time, I’ll have you know! It’s your janky clock that’s off!” He pinched her lightly on her arm. 

“Ow! Uncle Matt!” Mac whined in mock protest, “He pinched me!”. 

Matt grabbed his cane and hobbled over to the pair. “Don’t look at me to defend you! You’re always saying how tough you are!” He shook Harm’s hand warmly. “Good to see you again, Commander. Make yourself at home”.

“Thank you, sir, and please, it’s just Harm”. He held up the bag of take-out. “I come bearing gifts”. 

“Harm it is, and in that case, it’s Matt, or Mattie if you wish. That’s what my friends used to call me back in the day. Short for Matthew Thomas”, he grinned, “or you can me trouble, but absolutely none of this ‘Colonel’ or ‘sir’ business!” 

“Yes, si-Matt” he complied, barely catching himself in time. 

Mac took the bag of food from his hand. “I’ll go and plate this up. It won’t take but just a minute.” 

“What’s in that?” Matt pointed to the grocery sack in Harm’s left hand. 

“Oh! I almost forgot. Mac!” He pulled out his pair of neon-print lobster oven mitts, holding them up with a big grin. “I thought these might come in handy touching those hot dishes”. Of course, she wouldn’t need them as the food was in Styrofoam containers, but when he spied them laying on his kitchen counter, he couldn’t pass up a chance to tease her with them. 

Mac rolled her eyes as she took the gaudy mitts from his outstretched hands. “I knew you would find some excuse to bring these hideous things! Yuck!” Laughing, she disappeared into the kitchen to get the food plated and served. 

Harm turned to face the elder Colonel. “How is she doing, Matt?

“I wouldn’t say there’s been a significant improvement in her eating and sleeping habits, but she’s holding her own. We both are.” He sighed as he watched her putter around the kitchen, her slim figure partially obscured by the refrigerator. “I just hate seeing that haunting look in her eyes. Has she said much to you in regards to my situation?”. 

Harm’s expression clouded. He knew what Matthew was referring to; he’d seen it too many times himself. He saw it when her ex-husband came back to threaten her, when she was taken hostage by the stalker and Dalton was killed, when Chloe was being abused, and when the Roberts’ daughter had passed away. The latter by far brought the deepest pain. He knew Mac somehow blamed herself for baby Sarah’s death, as though her very name had somehow tainted the precious life that was snuffed out before it ever got started. In the early morning hours following her death, the two of them sought refuge in each other’s arms as they allowed themselves to grieve for their friends, for little AJ, and for themselves. 

There was not a doubt in his mind that she was going to make a wonderful mother one day. It was evident in the way she loved Chloe and little AJ as though they were her own flesh and blood. For now, he kept the images of his children, their children, locked up safe in his heart. Absorbed in his own thoughts, his eyes tracked her every move: the way she unconsciously tucked an errant strand of hair behind her ear as her shifted with her movements, the little shake of her head when she couldn’t find the utensil she was looking for…..

“Harm? You alright?”

“Huh? Oh, oh yeah, I’m fine…I…”. Distracted, he trailed off, unable to take his eyes off her. 

What was it the Colonel had asked him? He couldn’t remember...

“If you’re gonna stare at her like that, the least you could do is pull that waterlogged head of yours out of your six and go ask her out”.

Harm’s head snapped up instantly at the Colonel’s suggestion, shock evident on his face.

Matthew resisted the urge to roll his eyes and slap the Naval lawyer senseless. “Don’t try to fool an old Marine like me. It doesn’t work. Just ask my lovely niece, who seems to have all of your attention”. Merriment danced in his eyes at the gap-mouthed man. He knew his niece and Harm loved each other, they just needed a gentle shove- ok- a forceful shove, to get them to admit it. “Close your mouth, son. I could land a C-130 in it!”

Harm gulped, his heart beating fast in his chest at the thought of how protective Colonel O’Hara was of her. Even though he was sick, he was still very much a Marine, and you never wanted to cross a Marine the wrong way! He shivered to think of how many pieces he’d end up in, if he were that fortunate to be left with anything after Matt got through with him. Before the two could say anymore, Mac appeared in the doorway of the kitchen to announce dinner was ready.

“Guess we’ll have to finish this conversation later, eh?” Matt whispered to Harm, clapping him on the shoulder before making his way to the table. 

Harm chuckled nervously, resisting the urge to tug at the collar of his shirt. When had it gotten so hot in here?

“Are you two goons through swapping your manly stories yet?” she teased them as she pulled out a chair for her uncle and took his cane. 

“Well I don’t know about the manly part, but I do know we were engaging in one very interesting story, weren’t we, Harm?” 

Harm choked on his drink of water. 

Instantly Mac was by his side, patting him on the back. “Easy Sailor, you ok?”

Matt watched the scene unfold with a bemused smile. ‘How these two have not spontaneously combusted is beyond me’.

“Yeah, I’m ‘kay. Just went down- ‘rong way. Thanks” he croaked. 

“You never answered my question, Harm”.

“Uh…*cough* …yes, uh *cough*, yes we were” Harm took another drink of water.

Mac grated some peppercorn over her salad, then handed it to her uncle. “You know…I don’t think I want to know what specific story that is”.   
Matt chuckled. “Well then, don’t ask and you won’t”.

“You’re awful, Uncle Matt!” she cried out, playfully swatting him on the nose with the lobster mitt.

Harm stuffed a wad of lettuce in his mouth, grateful for the distraction. He worked to keep the blush from his face at the Colonel’s comment, knowing exactly what he was referring to. 

“Oh come on Sarah, I’m not that bad!’ 

“Yes you most certainly are, Uncle Matt, and you know it! Now shut your trap and let’s eat, mister”.

“Yes ma’am!” Matt gave her a mock salute before ducking as a wet noodle went flying in his direction.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  
LATER THAT EVENING

Well into the tenth hour of the evening, the food was eaten with dishes pushed to the side and the two men engaged in swapping ‘manly’ stories (as Mac liked to refer to them). She stood up to clear the table when Harm reached across the table to stop her. 

“Leave those, Mac. I’ll clean up”.

“Harm, you already went out of your way to pick up dinner and you paid for it. I can do the dishes.” 

He refused to budge. “Let me do this for you, tonight. Go spend time with Matt. It won’t take just a minute. Pick out a movie while you’re waiting”. 

She shook her head. “Really, Harm, you’ve already done so much for us tonight”. 

“Would you stop being so stubborn, jarhead!”

“I am NOT being stubborn, squid!” 

He gave Matthew pleading looks for backup

“Let Harm take care of this and we’ll go in the living room and pick out a movie. I think we can squeeze one in before it gets too late”.

Mac pinned him with a look. “You’re supposed to be on my side, Uncle Matt”. 

Matt tossed his napkin on the table with a resigned sigh. “Well, baby duck, it’s obvious that we’re at an impasse here”. 

Mac scrunched her face in confusion as she set her plate back down. “What do you mean?”. 

Matt shrugged. “It’s obvious Sarah…we just don’t...see…eye to eye” He waggled his eyebrows at her playfully, hoping she would catch on.

She remained confused for a moment longer until memories of her childhood game with him came to mind. Her face lit up in joyful surprise. “OH!” She quickly vacated her chair to stand in front of him, stooping so that she was face level with him, hands on her knees. “So, just how are we going to fix this?”

Matthew shook his head. “Looks like we’ll have to settle this the old-fashioned way.” Dusting his hands off, he paused to square his shoulders, then slowly inched forward towards her. “You know the rules of the game.” 

“Uh huh”. Mac moved until she met him halfway, lining up her right eye with his right eye. 

Harm watched the scene with a mixture of mild confusion and amusement at the little game they were obviously playing. It lifted his heart to see the joy on their faces. 

“So, do you think you’re going to see…eye to eye…with me, Uncle Matt?” she had a mischievous smile as she moved her hands to his shoulders to steady herself. 

“Ohhhhh nooo. It will be the other way around. You will be the one to see….eye to eye…with me”. He covered her hands with his and they were so close Harm could barely fit a piece of paper between them. 

“Never!”

“First one to blink, loses” Matt added, focusing on the challenge at hand. 

The two now had their right eyes pressed against each other in a staring competition, daring each other to blink first. 

“Not a chance!” Mac squared her shoulders, her face set firm. 

He placed his hands behind his head as he leaned back in his chair, mocking her. “I can do this all day”. 

“Well so can I! I learned from the best. Give it up already!” 

Neither refused to back down or blink. 

They were silent a few seconds longer. Then, a huge grin began to spread across Matt’s face. 

Mac’s mouth started twitching despite her best efforts to keep a serious face. “You’re cheating Uncle Matt! You’re fluttering your lashes and tickling my eye!” 

“Oh, so now you’re accusing me of cheating?”

“YES!” she went to poke him in his ribcage, but his quick reflexes thwarted her attempt and he trapped her hand against his chest. 

“Now THAT’S cheating!”

“Sounds like a personal problem!” Mac retorted, still not blinking. Truth be told, she was beginning to lose the battle. But she refused to back down. No way was she giving up so easily!

“So, Harm, I hope you’re taking notes. This is a great way,” he blindly gestured to Mac as the two continued to face off, “to win an argument with Sarah. It’s easy to beat her. Especially if,” he nudged a hair closer, “you start batting your eyelashes” he grinned mischievously, “like this,” and he very lightly fluttered his lashes against hers. 

Mac couldn’t contain herself anymore and burst out laughing, blinking in the process. 

“I win!” Matt shouted victoriously. “See?” He grinned, “You just can’t beat me Sarah. How long have we been doing this??? 30 years? When are you going to learn your place?”

“As long as it takes!” She hugged him fiercely, then dropped a kiss on his cheek. “For the record, I let you win”. 

“Uh huh! Now go start that movie before we all fall asleep waiting!”

2415  
Mac’s Apartment  
Georgetown, VA

It was snowing thickly as the movie credits quietly rolled by on the tv screen. Stretching his muscles, he removed his lanky frame from the leather sofa. A soft smile crossed his face at the sight of Mac and Matthew snuggled up in the hospital bed. Hating to do so but not wanting to leave without her knowing, he gently shook her shoulder.

“Mac, it’s almost midnight, I’m going to head home now” he whispered softly, his fingers unable to refrain from tucking an errand lock of hair back behind her ear. Her hair was incredibly soft and he felt a rush at just the thought of running his fingers through the silken tresses. But he settled on brushing the back of his hand against her cheek instead. 

She rubbed her eyes sleepily as she came to. “The movie over?”

He nodded, his hand trailing down to rest on her upper arm. “Yeah, and I wanted to let a sleepy Marine know I’m leaving”. 

She yawned once more, then vacated the bed, careful not to wake Matthew. “I’m so sorry I fell asleep on you”. 

“Don’t worry, Mac. You needed the rest.” Satisfied that she was coherent, he went to the closet to retrieve his coat and muffler.

Catching a glimpse of the snow outside, Mac walked over to her balcony door and observed the white city beneath her. Whatever tire tracks had been left by motorists had long been covered up, the amber glow of the streetlights casting an eerie hue over the still-falling snow. It was evident, even from where she stood, that the streets were completely impassable. In an instant, her mind was made up. He was most certainly NOT going home tonight if she had any say in the matter. She turned back to where he stood at the coat closet, buttoning up his coat. 

“You’re not getting out in this weather”.

He raised his eyebrow in question. “Mac, I’ll be fine. I’ve driven in snowy weather before. Plus, my SUV is all-wheel drive. I know better than to drive my ‘vette in this”.   
She shook her head emphatically. “I don’t care. It only takes one wrong turn or some idiot not paying attention. You’re not leaving”.   
He appreciated her sincerity, but he glanced over at Matthew’s sleeping form. He didn’t want to give the Colonel the wrong impression. While his heart desired being with the woman in front of him more than he could ever demonstrate, he meant what he said as they exited the JAG parking lot earlier that evening: He was willing to wait on her as long as it took. It was not so much a religious or moral obligation as it was a commitment he’d made to themselves so many years earlier. She was worth the wait and so much more. 

Mac followed his gaze, understanding crawling into her mind. “Uncle Matt wouldn’t want you out in this, either”. She touched his arm to draw his attention back to her. “Please, Harm, stay. You can take my bed. You’re too long for the couch anyways”.

Harm shook his head. “No way, Marine. I’m not kicking you out of your own bed”.

“You’re not. I’m offering. There is a difference”. She sighed, “Besides, I’ve pretty much been sleeping on the couch every day since he got out of the hospital. I can keep a closer eye on him this way”. 

He regarded her for a long moment, and seemingly to have felt comfortable with her honesty, he nodded in resignation. “Okay Marine. Let me grab my sea-bag from the SUV, and then you can lock up for the night”. 

She turned down the covers of her bed, then removed an extra quilt from the linen closet. The temperature outside had dropped considerably since they had finished dinner, and it had grown chilly in her room. Plumping up the pillows, she took a step back to observe her work. Satisfied, she turned on the bedside lamp and exited the room, switching off the overhead light. 

Harm returned at that moment, seabag in one hand and the other tucked under his armpit, trying to warm it up.   
“You were right, it is really slick out there. I nearly busted my butt when I stepped out the front door. I didn’t see any salt trucks on the road, either. I doubt they will have the roads clear by the time we have to go to work in the morning”. 

She removed his bag from his hand so he could shrug out of his coat. “Thank you, Harm. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if something happened to you on the way home”.

He touched her cheek, letting his hand linger for a moment. “I’m not going anywhere, Marine. I mean that”. 

Mac grabbed his hand and planted a kiss on his palm so brief that he wasn’t quite sure she’d done it. “Now get some rest, sailor!” She shoo’d him in the direction of her bedroom.

“Night, ninjagirl” He shut the door and climbed into bed, a smile crossing his face as he allowed dreams of one very special Marine to invade his mind and carry him to sleep….

0630 Zulu  
Mac’s Apartment  
Georgetown, VA

The smell of coffee brewing and waffles or pancakes (Mac couldn’t tell) roused Mac from her sleep, her olfactory senses unable to ignore the deliciously sweet aromas. She stretched briefly, then glanced over at her uncle. He was still sound asleep, only having moved to his right side in the night. But it wasn’t just the aroma of breakfast cooking that woke her up. It wasn’t the clanking of pans being funneled around. It was…singing. Someone was singing! Intrigued, she crept softly towards the kitchen door.

“When there’s something strange, in ya neighba’hood, who ya gonna call?? GHOST-BUSTERS!”

 

“If there’s something weird, and it don’t look good, who ya gonna call?? GHOST-BUSTERS!” 

When she caught sight of nearly sent her over the edge. She quickly clapped a hand over her mouth to stifle the giggles. There was Harm, dancing in the middle of the kitchen. He had his back to her, spatula in hand. Clad in pajama pants, t-shirt, and socks, he was singing the “Ghostbusters” theme song while “strumming” the spatula-turned-guitar. 

Snickering quietly, she thought of all the glorious wisecracks she’d be able to wring out of this. “You’ll never live this down! Just you wait, flyboy!”

He slid across the kitchen floor in his sock feet, shaking his bottom and doing the running man as he continued to sing. “If you’re seein things, runnin thru your head, who can ya call….GHOSTBUSTERS! An invisible man, sleepin in yo bed, oh who ya gonna call….GHOSTBUSTERS!”

Unable to contain her laughter, Mac shouted out, “I ain’t afraid of no ghost!”

Harm dropped the spatula and whirled around to face the unexpected interruption, his face growing red in embarrassment. He gave her a look that would melt steel.   
Mac gripped the edge of the counter for support as she doubled over in laughter. “Oh boy!!” she attempted to talk in between breaths, “I wonder what the Admiral would say if he knew his star lawyer was moonlighting as a bad 80’s karaoke singer?” She pressed a hand against her chest as she struggled to catch her breath, barely able to keep herself upright. “I’m gonna piss myself!” 

“Very funny, Mac. And I hope you do piss yourself!” 

“So, tell me, do you have the direct 1-800 number for the Ghostbusters crew in case you find some monster drooling under your bed? Or is that considered classified, ‘need-to-know’ information,” She giggled, amusement dancing in her eyes.

“Oh yeah, so what if I do?” He grabbed the dishtowel where it hung from the oven handle and stepped towards her. He began to spin it into a twist.

Mac held out her hands in self-defense. “Hey now! Violence never solved anything!” She shrieked and jumped backwards as he snapped the towel in her direction. “Don’t make me call the Ghostbusters crew on you!” 

“You won’t be laughing when I pop you, Mackenzie!” 

Mac was prepared this time and snagged the towel as it came towards her. She jerked it, and him, towards her. “Hey, just because I caught you singing AND dancing in the kitchen doesn’t mean you have to get your panties all in a wad!” 

“Excuse you, but I don’t wear panties….I wear box-“ 

“Harm!” Mac yelled as smoke and flames whipped up from the pan on the stove behind him. “The bacon is burning! Quick! Move it off the burner!” She grabbed the lid and clamped it on the skillet to stifle the flames just as a thick wad of smoke rolled out. 

‘BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!!”

“Dammit! Now the smoke alarm is going off!” Harm swore as he grabbed the dishtowel from Mac and began fanning the smoke away from the detector. He jerked is head towards the small window over the kitchen sink. “Go open it so some of this smoke can get out”. 

‘BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!”

Harm groaned as the alarm continued to go off. 

“Hey, is everything okay in there?” Matthew called from the living room, having woken from the commotion. 

“Yeah, we just had a small grease fire, everything’s okay!” Mac yelled back, helping Harm fan the flames away from the smoke detector. After a minute longer, the beeping quit abruptly. “Thank God!”

Harm sighed dejectedly. “So much for your breakfast, Mac”. He looked at the skillet in dismay before dumping the burnt contents in the trashcan. “I’m sorry”. Frustrated, he took a seat on one of the bar stools, his shoulders slumping in defeat.

Immediately she was at his side. “Hey, no big deal. Besides, you’ve been trying to get me to quit eating this stuff for years. Maybe it’s time I start listening to you”.

“I wanted to have it ready by the time you both got up,” he gestured towards the still-steaming skillet in the sink. “I didn’t pay attention to the stove setting”. 

“It’s okay, Harm, really. I appreciate your thoughtfulness. And we still have the pancakes. No need to let it ruin our day”. She stepped closer to him so that she could gently hug him. “You’ve been so good to us. I don’t know what I would do without you”. 

He welcomed her embrace, savoring the feel of her in his arms. Her slender figure easily molded to his and he felt awkward, out of sorts. Here she was, soft and pliable in his arms, and he felt he came across as quite the opposite: stiff, cumbersome, all gangly-like. 

“Yes, you would, Mac, you’d go on just the same. As strong and independent as ever” He nuzzled the soft underside of her ear where ir rested against his cheek. If there was one thing he would, or could never tire of, it was holding Sarah Mackenzie in his arms. He’d gladly take any reason or excuse to hold her. 

“You’re right, I would, because I am Marine, and that’s what Marines do, but it wouldn’t be the same without you,” she said lifting his chin to look in his eyes. They burned with the same intensity as the night before. It sent a shiver right down to the tips of her toes. “Thank you, Harm, for everything,”

“Anytime, ninjagirl, anytime” he whispered, his gaze drifting from her eyes down to her lips. He couldn’t help but lean towards them. They were so inviting. 

Mac’s senses were on edge in expectation, and she was sure that he could hear the thunderous stampeding of her heart. Her eyes fluttered close in anticipation, the rush of blood pounding in her ears nearly drowned out all other sounds….

“Hey Sarah? Can you come here for a minute? I need your help, please”.

Both bit back a groan of disappointment. 

‘Dammit’ Harm thought as he regretfully stood up, reluctantly releasing Mac from his arms. 

“I….uh…I’d better go see what he needs,” she stammered, the blush creeping into her cheeks at what almost happened between them. Goodness knows she loved her uncle, but dammit if his timing wasn’t horrible! 

With a sigh of frustration, she stepped backwards out of his embrace, her hand accidentally brushing his thigh as she turned around. Her touch nearly was his undoing and he had to fight the urge to take her in his arms and-

“Thanks again, Harm”

“Uh, yeah…yeah, you’re welcome” he responded absentmindedly, his senses still reeling from how close he came to tasting her on his lips. He watched her leave, wondering If they would ever get their chance. They were just so close…..


	9. Chapter 9

Title: “I’ll Be There” Chapter Nine  
Author: Macattack102712, aka “Mac Mackenzie”  
Publish Date: Original Publish date: August 2002, redone and completed Fall/Winter 2017.  
Pairing: Harm/Mac  
Category: Romance/Angst  
Summary: Mac gets devastating news regarding her beloved Uncle Matt. Her JAG family must come together to get her through the hardest trial of her life. In the process, she learns the tremendous gift and power that comes with letting love in.  
Author’s Notes: Please see previous chapters

Two Weeks Later  
1400 MT  
JAG Headquarters  
Mac’s Office  
Falls Church, VA

“Thank you so much for your help, I really appreciate it.” Mac jotted down some numbers as a knock sounded at the door. Harm poked his head around the corner. She motioned at the phone, holding up her index finger to indicate she’d be just a minute. He nodded, shutting the door quietly behind him and tucking his long form into her guest chair. “Yes, that would be perfect,” she slipped an errant strand of hair behind her ear as she listened intently to the caller.

Harm welcomed the opportunity to study her; after all, it wasn’t too often that he was afforded the chance, and he couldn’t help but stare. Although he saw her nearly every day, he never missed the subtle changes in her, such as when she swapped out her earrings, tried a new eyeshadow, or styled her hair differently. The latter was by far his favorite change. He certainly hadn’t missed the fact she was beginning to let her hair grow out. In more than six years of partnership, Mac had never had long hair. While she carried a short style well and he knew it was easier to maintain due to military regulations, he much preferred her with longer hair. He’d have to remember to tell her how nice it looked. With the sun highlighting the golden hues in her chestnut hair, he didn’t think he’d seen a more beautiful woman in all his life.

  
‘Hell, she could walk in with no makeup on, dressed in sweats and she’d still be a knock-out.’

Mac continued to converse with the person on the other end of the line, oblivious to his intense staring.Unlike many women, she wore a minimal amount of makeup. She wore just enough to accentuate her features, but not so much that she looked like a completely different person when not wearing it. Most of his girlfriends had taken to the makeup counter like Bob Ross to a paintbrush. They did not realize that less was more, and it often bugged him. He recalled a previous girlfriend who had plastered herself against him and left more than her perfume behind. He’d lost count of the number of times he had to use a stain remover to get tan foundation imprints out of his white uniform shirts. But with Mac? Never.

  
“Oh absolutely! It can be a real challenge at times, but, I am usually able to work through it,” she supplied, jotting down a few more notes, her animated gestures lost on Harm. “Yes, I believe so." She switched the handset to the other ear, then mouthed at Harm. ‘Sorry!’

  
He shrugged, waving her silent apology away. He was in no hurry for his voyeuristic opportunity to end. God, she was beautiful. He wondered if she had any clue.  
“Alright, sounds good to me. I’ll send it over in just a minute….yes ma’am, great! Thanks again!”. Mac hung up the phone, then turned to address Harm with an apologetic smile. “Sorry about that, I’ve been waiting on this report for weeks now and they were able to get it to me just this second.” She logged into her email. “And there it is. Finally!”

“How’s your day going, Marine?”

Tossing the pen she had been using into the glass jar beside her desk lamp, she shrugged. “Not bad... can’t complain. How did court go this morning?”

“Well, I won against Sturgis, so that’s always a plus!” He grinned victoriously as he leaned back in his chair. “Old bubble-head thought he had this one in the can, but thanks to my expert investigative skills,” he jerked a thumb toward himself, “I was able to pull in a last-minute witness."

She gave him a reproachful look. “Oh, is that so?” Harm could be so smug at times it made her want to slug him, but his self-confidence was a trait she greatly admired.

Harm rested his hands behind his neck as he stretched out his long frame. “Uh huh. And this witness blew a hole right through Petty Officer Ingram’s alibi."

“Well I am sure that was a tough blow to Sturgis, but I hope you don’t take too much time to gloat,” she narrowed her eyes at him, “like you usually do following a win." Removing a notebook from her desk drawer, he saw the skepticism flitter across her face.

“Oh, come on, like you’ve never gloated after winning a case against me!”

She shook her head. “Never to the degree you take it to.”

Harm refused to accept her answer as he leaned further back in his chair. “Still, the fact is you didn’t deny it!”

She shrugged, then turned back to the notepad in her hand.

Curious as to contents of her notebook, he craned his neck to see what she was writing. “So, uh, whatcha working on?”

“Well, Uncle Matt’s birthday is in little over a week, and I wanted to make it really special for him.” She flipped through a few pages, pausing when she came to the desired one. “I was thinking about having a party at the Botanical Gardens. I wanted to invite some of his friends that live in the surrounding areas, you know, just show him what he means to everyone. I’ve got a list of things that need to be done should I decide to do this, and I’m rather short on time…I just don’t know…" She trailed off, then propped her chin on her hand as an apprehensive expression crossed her face. “What are your thoughts? You think this is something he’d like or even want?”

His heart swelled with love for the woman sitting in front of him. No matter what she was going through, she always made it a point to make people feel special, valued, and important. He only wished he could find the words to tell her she was all of those, and more, to him. “I think that is a wonderful idea, Mac. He’ll love it, I’m positive. I'd be more than happy to help with whatever needs to be done.”

“Oh Harm, I couldn’t ask that of you. You have already gone out of your way for my uncle and me more times than I can count.” She shook her head, in silent protest, as he reached across the small space between them to snatch the notebook out of her hands. Leave it to Harm to take matters into his own hands...literally!

He read her list of things to do, gesturing towards the notebook and the stack of cases on her desk. “Mac, you can’t do all of this by yourself, work your assignments, AND take care of your uncle. Let me help.” He held the notebook out of her reach when she protested his help and attempted to lean across her desk to retrieve it. “Now who are you planning to invite?”

She thumbed off the people on her hand. “A few of his friends from the Corps, and of course, the people here at JAG: Harriet and Bud, the Admiral, Sturgis, Singer, Gun-“

“Singer? You invited…her?” he cut her off suddenly, gripping the edge of the arms of the leather chair as he straightened quickly. “Mac! Are you crazy!?” He let go of the arms, falling back into the chair when the look on her face made it clear she was not going to change her mind.

“Harm, I am NOT going to NOT invite her. That’s incredibly rude, not to mention childish. I know a lot of people don’t like her, but I really do think she’s got a good heart. People need to give her a chance."

He looked at her in disbelief, raking his hands through his hair as he leaned back. “Maaaaac. Please, rethink what you’re doing here! She’s nothing bu--” he began to say, but his chair toppled backwards, sending Harm tumbling to the floor.

The coat rack behind him fell over, smacking the office door and clearing the stack of books on top of her filing cabinet on its way down. The books fell on top of Harm, each thud being accentuated by his groan.

“Harm!” Mac immediately came around the corner of her desk as Harm lay, momentarily stunned, on the floor.

“Owwww…my head” he managed to say, rubbing his forehead where it had collided with the coatrack.

She put one arm around his shoulders to support him and cradled the back of his head with the other. “Whoa there! Easy, sailor. Let me help you sit up." She felt his upper arms, then worked her hand down the length of his body to check for broken or dislocated bones. It was a motion that he appreciated despite the pain shooting through his skull. “Are you hurt anywhere besides your head?”

“No, I think it’s mostly my head…ooowww."

Pinning one knee against his thigh to keep him from getting up, she ran a gentle hand over his face. “Sit still. I need to get a good look at your forehead."  
Her position gave him an excellent view of her….chest. He was pretty sure the Marines didn’t intend to make the female uniform the least bit sexy, but Harm was convinced that if anyone could make it look good, it was his Sarah. She had the most graceful curves of any woman he’d ever met. And she was too busy examining the knot on his forehead to realize that he was being very un-gentlemanly at the moment.

Damn Marine uniform! It kept him from really seeing anything of significance, but the fact that she…they…were so close, within reach, gave him a secret thrill.

‘Wait a minute….’His Sarah’? You really did hit your head, didn’t you, Rabb?’

“Harm!”

He jerked his eyes up and away as if burned. His his face blushed red with embarrassment at having been caught.

Or so he thought.

“You’re bleeding!” She reached over to grab a tissue from the box of Kleenex on the corner of the desk. The subtle scent of her perfume wafted over him as a result of her movements. She pressed it against the moderately oozing scrape just above his temple and watched his face carefully.

“Ouch!” he pulled away from her hand as a sting of pain shot across his forehead at her efforts.

She recoiled as though she’d been slapped, her hand immediately falling away from his face. “I’m sorry!”

Harm saw the expression of unnecessary guilt cross her face and hurried to reassure her. “Mac, it’s-“

Harriet burst through the door at that moment, stopping short at the chaotic mess in front of her. “Ma’am! Sir! What happened? I heard the commotion outside!" She bent down to pick up the books littering the floor, casting worried glances at Harm as she did so. “Oh my God, you’re bleeding!”

 “I uh…leaned too far back in the chair. The coatrack and I didn’t meet on the best of terms.” With a chagrined look, he weakly gestured to the toppled chair and coat-rack still on the floor.

Harriet finished stacking the pile of books back on the filing cabinet, then moved to return the furniture to its upright position. She flashed a sympathetic smile. “Well clearly, the coat-rack won that fight, sir. And,” she nodded towards his wound, “you need to ice that before you end up with a knot."

Mac worked to wipe the blood away. “Let's get you to the break-room so I can clean you up. There’s a First-Aid kit in there.” She pressed a wad of tissue into his hand as she tugged on his shoulder to assist him to his feet. “Hold this against that wound so it will stop bleeding. And get that six of yours moving!”

“Yes ma’am!” He gave her a mock salute as best he could, given she had a vice grip on one arm and he was holding the tissue with his other hand.

“Thank you, Harriet, for picking that up,” she gestured toward the younger officer and the neatly stacked books. They exited the office and Mac steered him into the breakroom, setting him down on one of the faux leather stools. She spoke to him over her shoulder as she rummaged in one of the cabinets for the First-Aid kit. “Sit still while I get some supplies."

“If I’m good, will you give me a sucker?” He gave her his best puppy dog look, then flashed her his infamous smile.

Mac rolled her eyes, then turned back around, medical supplies in hand. “No, I don’t want to ruin my reputation for being a mean ol’ jarhead. And, if you’ll remember what I told you in Arizona all those years ago, that smile may get you your way with others, but not with me.” She laid out some cotton balls, a tube of Neosporin ®, and a bandage. “Besides, we don’t have any more suckers. I gave the last one to little A.J. earlier this week." She gave him an apologetic look, pouring some antiseptic on a wad of cotton before moving to apply it to his wound. “This may sting a little.” He winced but did not pull away.

Besides…he was too focused on other things:

Like her lips...They were SO intoxicating and very close...too Close! He watched, mesmerized, as she bit her bottom lip in concentration. She worked to clean the wound before tenderly applying the ointment. The dull throbbing at his forehead didn't even register. The only thing that registered was how close she…her lips, were to him. His fingers itched to reach out and touch them. He wondered if they were as soft and pliable as he remembered. He thought back to when he kissed her on the docks of Norfolk all those years ago. Her mouth had been so accommodating to his advances. It was as though, she read in his heart, what he couldn't express in words. It was a moment he had committed to memory. It was a memory he revisited when the darkness of night crept into his room. It was a veil that cloaked him in loneliness and desolation from not having what he wanted most in life. In the back of his mind, he wondered if the bumps and pits they’d encountered during their partnership had changed how yielding and soft she was. There was only one way to find out….

Before he could confirm his suspicions, she finished cleaning his wound and her deft fingers had applied the bandage. “There! All done!” She took a step back to admire her handiwork and smirked. “You’re not a bad patient after all, Commander.”

He pretended to pout in an attempt to cover his inner thoughts, which he hoped didn’t show on his face. “But I didn’t even get a sucker!”

Without thinking, she laid her right hand on his chest for support, using the other to frame his face as she delivered a soft kiss to his cheek. “How’s that?” The gesture was so quick he barely had time for it sink in...but his cheek burned pleasantly where her lips had made contact. He inhaled her perfume as she pulled back. Her hand absently remained on his chest and he reached up quickly to cover it with his own.

“I’d say that was much better than candy, Nurse MacKenzie” he replied, his voice emerging soft and low from his chest. “Do you give that to all your patients, or just me?” He tightened his grip on her hand, unwilling to lose the closeness in proximity they had to one another.

Her eyes met his, full of warmth, mirth, and something else she couldn’t quite put her finger on. She opened her mouth to respond with a quip of her own, but was interrupted by a booming voice just outside the doorway.

“Well, well, well….what situation has one of my top lawyers managed to get himself into this time?”

The sudden interruption caused the two to jump apart. Reality came back to them with a jolt.

They were still at work... They were at JAG...They were surrounded by an office full of coworkers and a C.O., who would most certainly, bring them up on fraternization charges.

AJ stepped into the breakroom, finding two very red-faced officers standing unnecessarily at attention in front of him. He looked at them suspiciously.

“G-Good morning, sir” Harm stammered out, pleading to the higher powers above to keep the blush from creeping into his face.

His gaze flicked between the two. “It’s 1400, Commander."

A big lump formed in his throat and he forced it back down. “Yes sir. ”

Without missing a beat, Mac answered the unasked question. “As per usual with the Commander...he pushed the limits. This time it was with my office chair, and well…” She gestured to the bandaged cut on his head, “you can see for yourself how well THAT went.”

AJ shook his head in disbelief, folding his arms across his chest, as he leaned against the counter. “You know, Commander, for some reason, I was hoping your finesse as a pilot would translate better in the office. I can see that hasn’t happened.”

Harm remained stiff as a board, his gaze fixated on a point slightly above and to the left of AJ’s head. “My apologies, sir.”

“At ease, Commander, Colonel. This isn’t a Russian interrogation.”

Both officers assumed a relaxed stance.

“I can safely assume you have the…situation…” AJ jerked his head toward the bottle of antiseptic still in Mac’s hands, “under control, mmm?”

“Yes sir, that would be a correct assumption.”

AJ regarded them with lingering scrutiny, a palatable aire of pleasant tension oozing between his two officers. “Make sure the Commander has no follow-up meeting with your office décor, Colonel,” he gruffly instructed, “Carry on!” Giving an imperceptible shake of his head, he moved to exit the break room when something happened to catch his eyes…

He paused, mid-stride, keeping his back towards them as he covered what sounded suspiciously like a laugh. “And Commander, you might want to wipe the Colonel’s lipstick off your cheek. I don’t need every man in the building getting themselves injured just so they can get a kiss from our provisional medic. That will be all.” AJ exited the breakroom, fighting the urge to roll his eyes. ‘If I had any hair, it’d all be grey by now from the antics of those two!’

Both let out the breath they’d been holding unknowingly. Pulling a sheet from the roll of paper towels beside the stove, Mac gently wiped away the lip prints, a sheepish grin covering her face. “Sorry ‘bout that.”

“I’m sure as hell not.”

The words were out before he could think about them. But the truth was...he wasn’t sorry. And he wasn’t sorry that he’d said so.

Mac blushed, suddenly turning to occupy herself with putting the contents of the First-Aid kit back in its container. He reached out to grasp her elbow, anything, to keep her from shying away from him. He felt they were so close to reaching a middle ground and he wasn’t about to let them take ten steps backwards.  
“Mac?”

She risked a glance over her shoulder, momentarily taken aback from the intent look in his eyes. “Yeah?”

“Dinner? Tonight? My treat.”

She hesitated, then gave an almost imperceptible shake of her head. “I don’t want to be out too late. Uncle Matt is….well, you know.”

Harm shook his head. “No need to explain. There’s a café on the corner just down the road from here. I figure we can stop by on the way home. I can help with pinning down the details of your uncle’s party without spoiling it for him. The service there is fast and the food is pretty good. They even have a burger, extra greasy, just how you like it.” He winked at her playfully, hoping she would accept his invitation.

He was rewarded with a smile and a light punch in the arm. “Ok, but you can tone down the exaggerated level of disdain regarding my eating habits, flyboy.” She gathered up the bandage wrappers and soiled cotton balls to dispose of in the garbage can. “Besides, don’t knock something ‘til you’ve tried it!”

“Who said I was exaggerating?”

Rolling her eyes at him as she exited the breakroom, she called over her shoulder. “You? Exaggerate anything? NEVER!”

With a broad smile on his face at the opportunity to spend some one-on-one time with her, Harm whistled as he crossed the bullpen to his office, his throbbing forehead all but forgotten.

1800 MT  
Dahlia Café  
Falls Church, VA

Harm pulled his SUV into the last available parking space in front of the café. Mac had arrived just a few moments ahead of him. She sat in the car on her phone, no doubt conversing with her uncle. He contemplated waiting on her to finish, but seeing the place getting rather crowded, he decided to go in so he could snag a table. Stepping out of the car, his movements garnered her attention and he pointed at the door indicating for her to join him when she ended her phone call. She gave a nod of agreement, then turned her attention back to her conversation.

“How did your afternoon walk go? Did they give you a nice bath?” she asked, glancing at the clock on her dashboard; it was 1800. The hospice people usually took him for a walk in the afternoons to get him out of the apartment. Afterwards they would give him a good bath and get him dressed for the evening.

“They did, indeed. They left about an hour ago. I’m just settling in. You on your way home?”

“That’s good, you need the fresh air." She saw Harm settle into a chair in front of the cafe’s window, his form partially obscured by an ornamental tree. “Harm and I are grabbing some dinner. I don’t think we’ll be here more than an hour. What would you like me to bring you?”

“Oh, don’t you worry about me, Sarah. I’ve still got some of that soup you prepared last night. Besides, you know I don’t have much of an appetite anymore.”  
Mac sighed into the phone. Her uncle had steadily lost weight, with the loss having accelerated in the last two weeks. “I know.”

Hearing the sadness in his niece’s voice made Matthew’s heart ache, and he changed the subject in an attempt to lighten the situation at hand. “Sooooo…where’s that handsome man of yours taking my beautiful niece out for a date?” He’d tease her until his very last breath!

“Uncle Maaaatt! It’s not a date! And he’s not my man.” She was grateful he couldn’t see the furious blush that crept across her face. She took a deep breath to steady her heart, which was now fluttering incessantly.

“Uh huh” he dragged out the two syllables, thoroughly unconvinced. “Don’t forget, young lady, just because you’re grown doesn’t mean you don’t still have a curfew! I expect you to be home no later than 2300. No excuses!”

Mac couldn’t help but laugh at the ridiculous but playful request. “I can promise you I’ll be home way before then. I’m too old to stay up that late!”  
“See to it that you are!” he joked, then added, “And one more thing, Sarah."

“What’s that, Uncle Matt?”

“I expect a goodnight kiss between you two! Bye!” Matt quickly hung up the phone before she could say anything more, his deep laughter rolling across the line.

She rolled her eyes, then giggled self-consciously. “I’d want more than a kiss from that man!” she said to her inner self, feeling her face redden even more.

‘Did I really just say that out loud? Geeez MacKenzie, get ahold of yourself!’

Stepping out into the brisk winter air, she quickly made her way to the café entrance, laughing as her uncle’s comment lingered in the back of her mind.

1230 MT  
The next day  
JAG Headquarters  
Falls Church, VA

The water ran cold over Harm’s skin as he stuck it under the kitchen faucet to test the temperature. His movement disrupted the normal flow of water, flicking small droplets in every direction. As he waited for the water temperature to warm, his thoughts wandered back to the events over the last two months. The strain of her uncle’s illness and inevitable death was beginning to show on Mac’s beautiful face, sending her retreating into her shell. Ever since Matt’s convalescence care began, Mac seemed to withdraw from everyone around her. Oh, she was just as warm and sincere as she ever was, and while the changes went unnoticed by most, Harm knew her like the back of his hand. He wasn’t easily fooled. With a sigh of resignation, he realized the walls she’d worked so hard to build around herself...the very walls he’d worked so hard to tear down from the first moment she arrived at JAG... were reassembling right before his very eyes. And it scared him. He wouldn’t…couldn’t…lose her now…he refused to let that happen.

“Morning Harm, how goes it?” Sturgis greeted cheerfully, glancing over his shoulder at Harm as he opened the refrigerator to retrieve his lunch bag. It was half-past the noon hour and his stomach was protesting its lack of contents rather loudly.

Harm remained silent, unaware that he had been addressed. Sturgis recognized the all-too familiar look: brows knitted, eyes narrowed, mouth drawn taut. He reached out to gently touch his arm. “Hey buddy, you alright?”

“Huh?” Harm jumped, Sturgis’ touch and words jarring him out of his thoughts. He flashed a weak smile of apology. “Sorry man, my mind was elsewhere.”

Sturgis nodded in understanding, choosing not to comment on it. “I got Mac’s invitation in the mail yesterday. I knocked on her office door to let her know I was going, but I forgot she’s off today. Would you mind passing on the message?”

“Sure, she’ll be glad to hear you are coming.”

Sturgis regarded his friend for a moment as he watched Harm focus on drying his coffee mug. “Say, want to join me for a round of hoops after work tonight? Celebrate your victory in court last week and blow off some steam? I think you could use the break.”

Harm considered his offer. It had been a long week, that was for sure, and a friendly game of basketball sounded very appealing. He nodded in acquiescence. “I’m in.”

  
“Good. So, back to the party, anything I can help with? I know Mac’s not one to accept help….”

Harm snorted. “You can say that again.” He finished drying the mug, placing it back in cupboard above his head. He tossed the used paper towel into the garbage can. “Thanks for the offer, but it’s almost done. Mac’s stressing over the guest list; we’re having trouble tracking down some of the Colonel’s old combatant friends. She wanted to invite them, seeing as they kept in touch through occasional letters during his time at Leavenworth. But, some of them were lost during cell moves and his release process.”

At that moment, AJ walked in the breakroom, stepping beside Harm so as to refill his coffee mug. He greeted both officers with a curt nod. “Commander Turner, Rabb, solving the problems of the world in the breakroom, are we?”

Harm chuckled. “Something along that line, sir.”

“Actually, sir,” Sturgis postured, “maybe you could help us solve a problem. We were discussing Colonel O’Hara’s party, and Rabb shared he and Colonel MacKenzie are having difficulty tracking down some of Colonel O’Hara’s combatant friends. She’d like to invite them to attend as they wrote frequently to the Colonel while he was in prison.”

AJ nodded in Harm’s direction. “Get me a list this afternoon and I might be able to dig something up. I can’t make any promises, but I’ll see what I can find out.”

Harm worked to cover his initial shock, voicing his gratitude. “Thank you, sir, I know Mac would appreciate it, too.”

 Returning the carafe to the hotplate, AJ held up his coffee mug in a show of departure. “See to it you keep me updated on the party plans, Rabb.”

“Absolutely, sir.”

The two officers looked at each other following AJ’s exit, their facial expressions leaving no need for the exchanging of words. Just when they thought they had pulled apart all the many layers that comprised their Commanding Officer, he somehow always had another layer waiting…

1830 MT  
Roper’s Gym  
Union Station, DC

The gym was empty by the time Harm and Sturgis arrived, and as a result, they had the court to themselves. They were on their second round, the discussions regarding work and everything in between having dwindled down over the course of the last hour. Sturgis shot the ball over to Harm, then seized the opportunity to rebound for a shot when Harm overthrew.

“1-0,” Sturgis yelled, catching the ball as it bounced up and tossing it to Harm.

Harm dribbled briefly before sidestepping to the left, then banking a shot with his right arm. He watched as the ball swished cleanly through the net before plucking it from its descent. He threw it back to Sturgis. “1-1, you’re up.”

Sturgis eyed the net as he dribbled in place. “I’ve been meaning to ask about Mac and her uncle. How are they doing?”

Harm sighed. “He’s getting weaker by the day. I suppose Mac is handling it as well as she knows how to.” He followed Sturgis as he made a run up center court, managing to knock the ball out of his opponent’s hand mid-leap. His reflexes weren’t quick enough to catch it, though, and it went bouncing across the court before coming to rest in front of the water fountains. “It’s just hard, you know? Knowing that he’s dying and she’s hurting, and there’s not a damn thing I can do about it except stand by and watch.”

 Sturgis waved off Harm’s movement toward the ball, jogging over to retrieve it himself. “I can’t say I know what that feels like, because I’ve never been faced with that situation,” he called over his shoulder, “but, I’d say you are doing far more than just standing around, watching." He tossed the ball in Harm’s direction. “Still 1-1, your shot."

Harm caught the ball, backed up a few paces, then paused to evaluate his distance from the net. “It just sucks, Sturgis. The one man who ever gave a damn about her will be nothing but a memory in just a matter of weeks."

His buddy gave him a skeptical look before moving in an attempt to block his shot, albeit unsuccessfully. Harm managed to dodge the interference and faked a run to the right, cleanly dropping the ball in the net.

“I’d say you’re wrong about that one, buddy,” Sturgis disagreed. At Harm’s confused expression, he elaborated, “Colonel O’Hara’s definitely not the only one who loves and cares about Mac."

Plucking the ball as it bounced up, Harm threw it over to him. “2-to-1. I’m leading. And you know what I mean."

Sturgis nodded as he dribbled in place, then lined up his shot. “So, uh, did you and Mac ever have that talk?”

Momentarily distracted, Harm didn’t bother to interfere with the shot, allowing Sturgis to even the score. “No,” he sighed, gesturing emptily to the space between them, “now’s just not a good time. I wanted to tell her the night I got back from Norfolk, but then Matt ended up in the hospital, she told me about his illness, and…I don’t know." He let out a frustrated sigh, “Mac’s got enough on her plate without me adding to it. Half of me thinks that maybe I wasted all of our chances, but the other half of me thinks that, maybe after-." But the moment the words came to his mind, he immediately tossed them out, disgusted with himself. He surely did not want to come across as though he was anxious for the older Colonel to pass; that was furthest thing from the truth. It just had always been hard for him to put into words what his heart was feeling…ALWAYS!

Sturgis gave a silent nod of understanding. While he wasn’t privy to the intricate details regarding the relationship between Mac and her uncle, from what he had been able to gather thus far, it was obvious Matthew had played a significant role in both her private and professional life. “No need to explain." His expression turned pensive, a change that did not go unnoticed.

“What is it?”

He studied Harm for a minute, then spoke. “I used to think you only got one shot at whatever you wanted most in life; you know, like that saying, ‘Opportunity never knocks twice’. But I think, when it comes to you and Mac, opportunity will wait as long as it takes."

Harm smiled briefly as he walked toward the bleachers where their gym bags sat. Removing his water bottle and a towel, he took a long drink before answering. “I hope you’re right, Sturgis." He sighed as he ran the towel through his sweaty, spiked hair.

“Ha! I’m always right, and you know it! Besides,” Sturgis paused as he took a drink from his own bottle, “somebody’s gotta put up with you in your old age, and it sure as hell isn’t going to be ME!"

Harm squirted Sturgis with water as he laughed. “Real funny. You're quite the comedian, aren't you."

“Say, let’s do one last round and call it a night. Besides,”, he checked his watch, “I’m supposed to meet Bobbi for dinner at 8 anyway.” He picked up the basketball and threw it to Harm. “First to ten wins."

“You’re on, buddy. Loser buys a drink at McMurphy’s."

Sturgis considered Harm’s offer, then nodded. “Deal”

“Sounds like I’m not the only one playing the court. You and Bobbi, huh?” Harm winked at his friend.

Sturgis rolled his eyes. “She’s smart, beautiful, and kind; reminds me of Mac." He gave Harm a reproachful look. “The main difference between you and I is... I know what I want, and I go after it. You, on the other hand,” he caught Harm’s rebound and sent the ball sailing effortlessly through the net, “go after what you want with the speed of a sloth."

Harm ignored his friend’s comment, cutting to the heart of the matter as he waited for Sturgis to return the ball. “You really think we have a chance?”

“I do, Harm. I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t think it were true."

Satisfied with his friend’s sincerity, he launched the ball towards the net and watched as it bounced precariously on the rim before dropping in. “4-4. I’d venture to think we’re both off to a good start." His comment wasn’t just meant for their game, and Sturgis knew it.

“I’d have to agree with you there, Harm. And hopefully, we’ll both win."

The two men, both opponents and friends on and off the court, continued to battle it out. Neither one bothered to keep score anymore. They knew all that really mattered is both walked away a winner when the game was over.

1330 MT  
Eight Days later  
Botanical Gardens  
Georgetown, DC

“There! That’s the last of the streamers and the banner is hung,” Harm stated, rolling up the excess string he’d used to hang the decorations. He made his way down the ladder and took a step back to inspect his handiwork. In between, two separate pieces that spelled out, “Happy Birthday!”, he carefully placed gold and blue streamers, Uncle Matt’s favorite colors. It looked classy if he did say so himself.

Mac paused on her way to the reception table where she was setting up framed pictures of her uncle. “Wow! That looks great! I think you may have missed your calling as an event coordinator!”

He shook his head and jogged over to help her when he realized her arms were full. “Thanks, but if it’s all the same to you, I’ll keep my day job."

They’d been working at decorating the ballroom since that morning, and it was now nearly 1500 in the afternoon. She tucked a sweaty strand of hair behind her ear, then gestured toward the decorations in the room as they worked alongside each other. “If I haven’t already said so, thank you for helping, Harm. I mean it."

“No problem, I’m glad to be of help."

They laughed as they both reached for the same photo. It was the one AJ noticed during his visit to Mac’s apartment when she returned from Kansas. “Nice ride,” he pointed to the picture, “first time without training wheels?"

She paused as she set out a photo of Matthew during his Kuwaiti tour. She knew the photo he was speaking of, and the memories associated with it always made her heart constrict. It was another reminder of what she’d lost, and what she was losing. The bike, although it was just a material item in most people’s eyes, held far more sentimental value. She’d lost it, and now she was losing the man who had gone to so much trouble to buy it for her. “Yeah, something like that." Her response was quiet, her attitude subdued. She quickly moved further down the table to set out another photo.

Her sudden change in demeanor did not go unnoticed by Harm. He scrutinized her face as she turned away from him. “You wanna talk about it?”

She shook her head in the negative. She was too tired to fight the demons that came with dredging up the past. “No, but thanks. Maybe some other time."

Harm laid a gentle hand on her shoulder, seeing fatigue beginning to settle in her eyes. “Hey, you okay?”

She gave him an unconvincing smile. “I’m fine, really. Just tired." She nodded toward the room, changing the subject on him. “I think we’ve done all we can do for now. All that’s left is putting the tablecloths on for the caterers and getting the music list ready for the DJ."

“Why don’t you go home and rest up before the party this evening? I’ll take care of the rest." He shoved the now-empty box under the table to get it out of the way. Whatever he could do to take some of the stress off her, he’d do it. The hard part was getting her to agree to it.

Mac thought about his offer for a moment but turned it down. “Harm, you’ve been up since early this morning, AND you worked yesterday. I didn’t." She tossed a half-empty roll of string into the box he’d shoved under the table.

He wasn’t surprised by her refusal. Getting Mac to agree to any sort of help was almost an “Act of Congress.” Although her resiliency was something he admired, he also hated it because she had a tendency to close herself off.

“We’re not keeping score here. Besides, if I didn’t want to, I wouldn’t have volunteered.” He grabbed her coat from where it lay on a nearby chair and motioned for her to slip into it. “Go home and get some sleep. I’ll be by later to pick you up."

She hesitated briefly, then accepted his offer. “Thanks Harm, I appreciate it." She eased into the coat, buttoning it as he turned the fingers of her gloves right-side out. Thoughtful gestures such as that did not escape her notice, and it made her heart swell with deep appreciation. She’d have to think of a special way to return all the kindnesses he’d bestowed on her over the previous weeks.

Gesturing for her to take the lead, he handed her purse to her before shouldering his own coat. “I’ll walk you out."

The sky was overcast with random bits of snow drifting down as the pair walked the brief distance to her car. A comfortable silence fell over them, but for the first in a long time, it did not provide the usual unpleasant awkwardness. His gentle hand at the small of her back sent warm shivers up her spine, its gesture speaking volumes of protectiveness. He opened the car door for her, waiting until she started the engine and rolled down her window before shutting it. He braced his hands against the window as he leaned slightly toward her. He could already feel the heat from the vents blowing across his hands, for which he was grateful. It meant she wouldn’t have to be in a freezing car for long. “I’ll pick you two up at 1830, how does that sound?”

Mac chewed her bottom lip as she considered his offer, her heart and mind arguing with each other. Ever since Matthew’s hospitalization, Harm had been so generous with his time and efforts. Her apartment wasn’t exactly close in location to his. She hated for him to make a special trip just to pick them up but she honestly didn’t think her uncle would be able to ride comfortably in her sportscar. He was already weak and declining every day. Not to mention she needed to have new winter tires put on her car but had not had the opportunity to do so. “Okay,” she nodded, “it probably would be safer to go in your SUV. And I think Uncle Matt would be a lot more comfortable."

Harm grinned his signature smile at her acquiescence. “See? Isn’t it much easier when you let me boss you around?”

“Ah ha! Fat chance, flyboy!”, she laughed, securing her seat belt as she shifted gears and put the car in reverse. “Key word you used there, ‘let’. And I’ll let you let me be bossed around,” she held up her index finger to stave off the retort brewing on his tongue, “just this one time." She winked as she pressed the button to roll the window up. “Don’t be late sailor!”

Harm chuckled, stepping back to allow her room to back out of the parking space. It was so good to see a little bit of sparkle back in her eyes. Their playful banter had been put on the back burner due to her uncle’s illness. Harm found her more reserved and quiet than he could ever remember. Lost in thought, he nearly missed her wave. Catching it just in time to return it, he grinned as he jogged back into the building. There was still quite a bit left to do for the party. If he was going to get it done and have time to get ready himself before picking them up... he’d have to hurry. His gaze fell on a picture of Mac with Colonel O’Hara. She looked to be about six years old and was playfully standing in a wedding gown that nearly swallowed her little frame. Matthew, dressed in a tuxedo, was caught mid-laughter, holding up the straps of the dress as she grinned up at him. Undoubtedly, he was a groomsman in someone’s wedding.

“One day, Sarah, I promise, you’ll be in your own wedding dress,” he whispered, as his fingertip gently traced her face. He took a deep breath as the sudden onslaught of emotions surged through his heart. Glancing at the clock above the bay window, he calculated he had just under four hours to get things finished. He took one last look at the photo, then turned his attention, back to the remaining tasks.

“Just give me time to work things out in my head" he thought as he finished the decorating.

::END CHAPTER NINE:::


	10. Chapter 10

Title: “I’ll Be There” Chapter Ten  
Author: Macattack102712, aka “Mac Mackenzie”  
Publish Date: Original Publish date: August 2002, redone and completed 2017/2018.  
Pairing: Harm/Mac  
Category: Romance/Angst  
Summary: Mac gets devastating news regarding her beloved Uncle Matt. Her JAG family must come together to get her through the hardest trial of her life. In the process, she learns the tremendous gift and power that comes with letting love in.

Author’s Notes: The songs I’ve chosen for this particular chapter, as well as subsequent chapters, are all very special and meaningful to me. Most of you will recognize two of them, but there is one that perhaps you will not. I urge you to visit YouTube to hear the last one I mention. Please listen to it *as you are reading the scene it is written for*. You will see why I chose it. I just believe wholeheartedly that music can set the mood when writing cannot. Now, on to the songs I used:

“I Know You By Heart” is performed by the late, but wonderfully talented Eva Cassidy. She was taken from this world far too soon, but she left her recordings behind for all of us to enjoy.

“We Could Die Chasing This Feeling” is both written and performed by a pathetically underrated band known as ‘Hammock’. They hail from the city of Nashville, TN, not far from my own stomping grounds. And no, they are NOT country music (thank goodness!). I believe this one song in particular is the sexiest, smoothest, most romantic song I’ve ever heard. If, after hearing it, it doesn’t make you want to grab your SO and slow dance with them, there’s something inherently wrong with you. So, do yourself a favor and check out the rest of their repertoire. I promise, you will fall in love with them just as I have.

I’ve included the YouTube links for both songs:  
Eva Cassidy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=crUm-v6o-0s  
Hammock: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=boCtChiP-yQ  
And now, without further delay…..Chapter Ten!!

IBT Chapter Ten  
1620 MT  
Mac’s Apartment  
Georgetown, VA

  
As he rode the elevator to her floor, Harm nervously adjusted his shirt cuffs for what seemed like the fiftieth time. It had taken him three outfit changes and two ties later before he considered himself presentable, then decided to forego the tie at the last second. He never would have guessed that choosing to wear or not wear a tie would take thirty minutes. Now that he was almost to Mac’s front door, he began to second guess his choice of attire. Did navy really go with dark brown? His mother said it did when he called her to ask, but now he wasn’t so sure…

‘Relax, Rabb, it’s just Mac and her uncle! No need to be so damn strung up!’

But it wasn’t “just Mac and her uncle”. It was the very woman who he would give up his life for in a heartbeat. It was the very woman that he could only ever imagine being with in all matters of the heart. And it was the very man who was solely responsible for Mac coming into his life to begin with. He owed that man his gratitude and so much more.

He glanced down at the bouquet of flowers in his sweaty hand, smiling at the evidence of an unusual stroke of luck. As he’d exited the parking lot of the botanical gardens earlier that evening, a sudden thought to purchase flowers had popped into his head. Sappy romantic overtures weren’t generally his forte, but his conscious pleaded its case, kindly pointing out there were times in life that warranted such gestures. Tonight, it reasoned, was certainly one of them. Unfortunately, upon realizing the late hour, which equated to an absence of open flower shops, he was force to abandon the idea with a regretful sigh. He decided to stop by the neighborhood grocery store of which he was a frequent patron, intent on procuring a few pertinent essentials in need of replenishment. And while he’d procured everything initially on his list, he left with far more than he’d bargained for.

FLASHBACK::

A warm blast of air greeted Harm when he stepped over the threshold of Weinhart’s automatic double doors, ruffling his hair in the brief draft. He seized a basket from the towering stack to his left, then set out to secure the items on his hastily scrawled list. A brief glance around indicated the store was relatively empty of shoppers, an observation that greatly pleased him. The less people in the store meant the quicker he could get thru the check-out line. As he waited patiently for a fellow patron to move past the front of the produce section, his eyes spied a small display cooler. His heart jumped slightly when he realized its purpose was to keep fresh cut flower arrangements. Anxious for the shopper in front of him to get out of the way, he strained his neck to see if there were any left. A wave of disappointment washed over his face: there was one lone bouquet remaining, but they weren’t roses. He checked his watch: 1700. No time to travel to another store to see if they had any.

‘Grab them anyway,’ his conscious nudged him.

Mildly irritated at the prospect of striking out, he resisted the urge to dismiss the pesky instruction and immediately opened the door to remove the bouquet. A few feet away stood an older gentleman, busily placing fresh produce on the growing mound of mangos. Noticing Harm scrutinizing the flowers, he called out to Harm.

“I’m ‘fraid that’s the last of our fresh cut arrangements. We’re not due ‘nother shipment ‘til morning. Our truck got delayed from the snowstorm down south of here”. He gestured towards the now-empty cooler, “I was just about to throw ‘em out. They’re almost dead. I’m real sorry, sir”.

Harm looked at the flowers in his hand and hesitantly sniffed them, their fragrance quite strong but pleasant. With their colors bright, petals still fully intact and lacking any signs of wear, they certainly didn’t look dead to him. Under the impression the clerk was mistaken, Harm held out the bouquet for inspection. “You mean these…” he glanced at the clerk’s nametag, “Mr. Thompson? They don’t look dead to me.”

Confused, the clerk set aside the box of mangos he was sorting and ambled closer to Harm. His head bobbed between the display case and the flowers. He whistled sharply as he scratched his head. “Well, I’ll jus’ be damned!” He gestured towards the case, “I promise ya sir, I just nspected those flowers not an hour ‘go, n’ theys looked near dead, petals fallin off n’ ever’thing!”

‘Maybe these flowers were meant just for Mac….what are the odds?’ his subconscious gently suggested.

Harm shook his head in disbelief; he surely didn’t need to be told twice!

“Well, sir, they look really good to me,” Harm stated, then nodded with affirmation. “I’ll definitely take them”.

Mr. Thompson gave Harm a big, toothy grin as he returned the flowers. “I reckon these are fer a right special lady, eh?”

Harm smiled, carefully placing the wrapped bouquet in the seat of his shopping cart. “Yes sir, they most certainly are”.

“Well, she mus’ be real special to bring near-dead flowers back ta life. I’m tellin’ ya, those flowers were as dead as dead could be. Beats all I eva’ seen! Good luck to ya, sir!” Mr. Thompson chuckled, giving Harm an affectionate pat on the shoulder before shuffling back to the half-filled box of mangos that awaited. Harm stepped towards the direction of the condiments but turned back when Mr. Thompson called out to him.

“Make sure you tell that special lady ya feel ‘bout her. Don’t want ‘nother man comin’ up n’ snatchin’ her away!”

“Yes sir,” he nodded solemnly, “you have my word”. With a nod of his head, he ventured off to procure the rest of the items on his list, his heart already thumping in anticipation of the evening’s events.

END FLASHBACK

The dinging of the door’s alarm jerked Harm back to the present, and he forced himself to exit the chamber just as the doors signaled their closing. His legs suddenly felt like watery gelatin as he covered the short distance to her door, the pulse in his neck throbbing erratically. Swapping the flowers between hands so he could wipe his sweaty palms on his thighs, a sudden weight of suffocation settled heavily within his chest.

‘Geez Rabb! Get a hold of yourself! This isn’t your high school prom!’

Except that it was. Sort of…

He checked his watch, then breathed a sigh of relief when the hands pointed five minutes to the half-hour. Another stroke of luck: for once, he’d managed to arrive early!

********XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX*******

(SAME TIME & LOCATION)

“Sarah, sweetheart, you look just fine,” Matt cajoled, a bemused smile on his face as his niece checked her reflection in the floor-length mirror for what seemed like the fiftieth time. He glanced at the clock above the end table; it was almost 1730. “Besides, he’ll be here any minute. You don’t want him to catch a Marine off-guard now, do you?”

His comment fell on deaf ears as a distracted Mac criticized her appearance with a skeptical look. The dress she’d chosen was modest but still very flattering. Falling just above the knee with a subtle neckline and quarter-length sleeves, it showed off her figure without being skimpy. Frowning, she turned to face Matthew. “Are you sure, Uncle Matt? It’s not too revealing, is it?” She smoothed imaginary wrinkles from the material as she turned from side to side, scrutinizing the hemline. It had taken her three dress changes and two pairs of heels to determine she was presentable. Her uncle said the shoes looked fine with the dress, but now that she had them on, she wasn’t so sure...

“No, not at all. And you know I wouldn’t let you walk out of here if it did”.

Mac nodded in agreement. Matthew had taught her many life lessons during her teenage years, and among them was to dress ins a manner that reflected self-respect. “As you always told me, Uncle Matt, ‘If it ain’t for sale…’”

“Don’t advertise!” both finished together.

“That’s right, baby duck!” He wheeled himself over to where she stood fretting over her appearance. “You, my dear, are nothing short of stunning. I’m sure that handsome sailor of yours would hastily agree with me”.

His niece shot him a look. “He’s not my sailor”. She turned back to the mirror, “yet”, she whispered to herself. But Matt heard it and smiled softly, letting the comment go.

Satisfied with Matthew’s approval, Mac concluded her assessment. “Well, then, the dress is settled.” She turned her attention to the small velvet box sitting on the entryway table. Its contents, while quite expensive, was worth far more in sentimental value than dollar. Indeed, it was among the most treasured of her possessions. She removed the delicate white-gold necklace with the intention of putting it on, but her rattled nerves got the best of her and the chain slipped from her hands. “Dammit!” Swooping to retrieve it from the floor, she let out a puff of aggravation, chastising herself for being unnecessarily nervous. “Uncle Matt, do you think you could fasten this for me? I’m just…well…nevermind…” she waved her hand in flustered dismissal, reluctant to bring any more attention to her jitteriness.

“I will certainly try, come on over here”. He motioned her towards him and she knelt next to his wheelchair, turning her back to him so he could slip it around her neck. But despite his best efforts, his hands were just too shaky to fasten the small hook into the ring. After several attempts, he sighed, patting her shoulder in regret. “I’m sorry, Sarah, but Harm will have to do this. I just can’t control my hands anymore”.

Mac reached up behind her to squeeze his hand in understanding, planting a soft kiss on his knuckles. “It’s okay, Uncle Matt, I appreciate you trying”. Rising to her feet, she moved to retrieve a blanket from the tufted leather bench behind the couch to lay over his lap.

“Besides, I’m sure ‘Mr. Hot-Shot-Fighter-Jock’ wouldn’t pass up the opportunity to get close to his RIO”. He winked at her as her face turned a delicate shade of red. She was so easily embarrassed that he just couldn’t help but tease her!

“Uncle Matt! We’re just friends!”

He laughed heartily just as timid knock sounded at the door. “Well, well, well. Speak of the devil!”

Mac shot him another look over her shoulder as she quickly walked to the door. “Behave yourself!” she hissed. She checked herself in the mirror once more while Matt shook his head in amused resignation. Taking a deep breath to calm her nerves, she opened the door and sucked in her breath at the sight. She was……

Stunned.

Harm stood on the other side, one hand poised to knock, the other hand clutching a sweet little bouquet of cut flowers. Dressed in a pair of dark brown slacks with a white dress shirt peeking underneath a baby blue sweater, he was, by far, the most handsome man she’d ever laid eyes on. Momentarily speechless, she stood rooted in silence, her eyes appreciatively taking in his figure. The sweater fit like a glove, highlighting the blue green haze lying within his stormy eyes. Blue was always her favorite color on him.

‘Hell, he looks good in anything!’ the salacious part of her mind quipped.

Harm, likewise, was speechless. If there was anything he loved about being with Mac off-duty, it was seeing her in civvies, which to his regret was not very often. While the Marine Corps had a well-earned reputation for having the drabbest of military uniforms, Mac effortlessly made the best of it and wore it well. But out of uniform, it was an entirely different story. On the few occasions he’d been privileged to see her in dress wear, she’d always been a stellar knockout, undoubtedly turning heads of both men and women. Tonight, was certainly no different.

Or was it?

He could certainly feel something tangible between them, growing stronger, glowing brighter than it ever had before. He wanted nothing more than to reach out, grab ahold of whatever it was, and never let go. His eyes traveled the length of her body as he took in every detail. The black dress fitted her in all the right places, the delicate lace neckline and sleeves adding a feminine touch. Her chestnut hair was styled in a manner that he had not seen before. Gently tousled, it dusted her shoulder. He made a mental note to tell her to wear it like that more often; it was certainly very becoming. His eyes traveled up to scour her face. Her makeup was done in such a way that one could tell it was for a special occasion, but not overly done or exaggerated. But it was her eyes that captured the most of his attention…the way her eyes sparkled with an aire of self-consciousness only served to make his heart flutter all the more. Having found his breath, he finally spoke, willing his heart to settle back in its rightful place. “It’s five before the half-hour. I told you I’d be early”.

He said it with such an aire of seriousness that Mac nearly laughed. “Yes, indeed, sailor. That’s a record! I may just have to write this down in my journal tonight”.

  
‘A journal? She has a journal? I wonder if she writes anything about me in there?’ he thought to himself, then his attention was taken elsewhere as his eyes settled on hers.

Harm rocked on his heels, shoving his free hand in his pocket to hide the nervous twitching. “Wow. You look great, Mac.”

‘Seriously Rabb, that’s all you can manage to say? She’s a drop-dead knockout!’

A shy grin crossed her face and she nervously pushed an errant strand of hair behind her ear. “Thank you, Harm. You look very handsome yourself”.  
He couldn’t bear the intensity in which she looked at him, so he turned his attention to the bouquet in his hands. “Here. These…uh, are for you. Hope you like them.” He thrust the stems towards her unceremoniously, his addled nerves provoking an awkward delivery. “Uh, they didn’t have any roses, so, um, yeah….” His words trailed off as his brain refused to provide an eloquent explanation.

‘Smooth, Rabb, real smooth!’

His face turned a slight shade of red from embarrassment.

“Well I sure as hell hope they’re not for me, Harm. I’d hate to have to disappoint you by turning down your advances!” Matthew quipped, wheeling himself over to where the couple stood gazing at each other.

Mac startled, having momentarily forgotten that her uncle was sitting behind her.

Grateful for the comedic break to lift the intensity of the moment, Harm laughed, “Sorry Matt, next time I’ll try to remember to bring you some”.

With a shy grin gracing her beautiful features, she accepted the flowers still in Harm’s outstretch hand. Her cheeks took a delicate crimson color at the thoughtful gesture. It had been so long since she’d been given flowers by anyone, let alone the one man that she loved with all of her heart. The boyish grin on his face only served to make her heart flutter all the more. She sniffed them, the subtle fragrance complementing her olfactory senses. “Thank you, Harm, that was very sweet of you. These are gorgeous!”

‘Not half as gorgeous as you,’ he thought to himself.

“Sarah, you gonna make that poor man stand out there all night?”

“Oh! Sorry!” she blushed profusely, opening the door wider to allow him to step by. Soft tendrils of his cologne washed over her as he did so, and she inhaled deeply. He always smelled so good. She fingered the delicate petals once more, then started for the kitchen, calling over her shoulder as she went, “I’ll be back in just a minute, I need to put these in water!”.

“No need to rush, Mac. We’ve got plenty of time”. Harm watched her retreating figure until she disappeared into the kitchen before turning his attention to Matthew.

“So, Harm, you ready to dance the night away with an ol’ washed up grunt like me?”

Harm propped his tall frame against the front door, grinning as he caught the humor twinkling in Matthew’s eyes. Something indicated that in Matthew’s younger days, he was most certainly a formidable opponent! “I don’t know, think you can keep up with this ol’ washed up fighter jock?”

Matthew shook his head in the negative. “No, son, I think it will be the other way around! I know you sailors have a hard time keeping up with us Marines,” he patted him on his forearm in jest, “but I promise, I’ll go easy on ya. And as a bonus, I won’t rub it in your face too much”.

“Oh, that’s so very generous of you!”

Mac returned at that moment with the vase of flowers in hand, fussing over them as she was clearly dissatisfied with how they were arranged. She’d already made a mental note to borrow the flower press from a friend of hers who owned a scrapbooking shop. These were flowers she certainly wanted to preserve for her memory books! She set the vase on the entry table, leaning from one side to the next while she evaluated her work.

Harm watched with a mixture of amusement and adoration as she spent several moments moving various pieces around. He thanked himself profusely for the decision to stop by the grocery store; if something so simple brought her so much joy, he’d buy a truckload of bouquets!

“Mac, they look fine. Besides, if you keep messing with them, all the petals will fall off”.

Mac sighed, sticking a black-eyed Susan behind a sprig of baby’s breath. “That’s true, but you went to the effort to get them for me and I want them to look right in the vase”. She rearranged a few more before stepping back to evaluate her work, clicking her tongue in resignation. “That’ll have to do for now”.

Matt took the opportunity to hand the necklace to Harm. “My hands just won’t stay still long enough to fasten the clasp. Would you be so kind as to put this on her for me?”

With a surge of pride, he realized it was the necklace he’d given her two years ago for her 30th birthday. The small eagle, globe, and anchor, etched with a tiny ‘S’, dangled from the chain. “Certainly sir, I’d be happy to”. He gently took the jewelry from Matt’s outstretched hand, careful to keep from tangling the delicate chain.

‘I bet you would,’ Matt mused silently, working to keep the knowing grin off his face. It was so painfully obvious of the feelings that ran between the two standing in front of him. He just had to get them to admit it to each other before it was too late. He knew his niece could take care of herself, knew that she would be okay after his death, but it still didn’t deter him from wanting to see her with Harm.

Harm motioned Mac to stand in front of the mirror so he could see their reflections. He gently reached around her right side, passing the end of the necklace to his left hand. His voice was low and soft as he spoke, “Now, you tell me how low you want this to hang, and I’ll fasten it at that length”.

A slight shiver ran across her spine as his words tumbled out, his breath caressing the sensitive skin where her shoulder travelled up to meet her neck. She nodded in silence, the close proximity to which he stood threatened to drive the very breath from her body. “A little bit higher, please”. She was surprised at the levelness of her voice.

The cool metal slid up ever so slightly at her request.

“How’s that?” He whispered against her ear as he leaned over her shoulder to check. The small charm rested just below the hollow of her throat. From where he stood, he could see the fine pulse of her heart. His own skipped and fluttered when he realized the effect his closeness had on her, if the slight change in her breathing were any indicator.

Satisfied with where the pendant lay, she nodded with confirmation, tilting her head slightly to the right so as to capture him in her peripheral field. Her voice was soft and sweet to his ears. “That’s perfect. Thank you, Harm”.

Matt watched the scene carefully, noticing the slight shaking of his niece’s hands, and the way Harm’s fingers lingered against her neck just a hair longer than what was necessary. He shook his head in amazement. It was so obvious!

‘Just friends my ass!’

Reluctant to break the spell, but knowing the time had come to depart, Harm cleared his throat. “Well, if you two are ready, we’ll get on the road. Don’t want to be late”. Ever the gentleman his mother raised, he assisted Mac with her coat, and, after ensuring that she was buttoned up, he grasped Matt’s wheelchair and eased them out into the hallway. Mac locked the door behind them.

“Now, just where are the two of you taking me that is so fancy?” Matt inquired as Harm pushed him towards the elevators, carefully maneuvering his wheelchair over the threshold.

“Uh uh Uncle Matt! No time for questions! You’ll find out when we get there” Mac admonished. She gave him a wink while she stepped aside to allow his wheelchair through the chamber doors.

“You always have been one for surprises, Sarah!”

“And you’ve always been one for asking questions when you shouldn’t!”

The trio laughed as the elevator descended to the first floor, each one anxious about the evening for different reasons……

0655 MT  
Georgetown Botanical Gardens  
Georgetown, VA

Matt’s face scrunched in confusion when Harm parked the SUV into the lone available parking spot in front of the facility doors. “The botanical gardens?” He checked his watch; it was almost 1900, odd hours for the gardens to still be open to the public. “They are open this late in the evening?”

Harm opened the back hatch of the SUV to pull the wheelchair out. He maneuvered it around to Matthew’s side, unfolding it and ensuring it was locked into place.  
“Well, there is a very special star that will be seen tonight, but this is the only place where everyone could see it”.

Mac stepped out of the way to allow Harm unhampered access to transfer Matthew into the chair. Once he was situated comfortably, she retrieved the blanket from the floorboard, laying it over his lap and tucking the edges underneath his legs. “It’s why we had to dress so nicely. To see this special star, well, you have to dress like one”.

This information was rather strange, but Matthew chose not to comment. It was apparent, given the cryptic wording and body language between his niece and Harm, that something was definitely not on the up-and-up. He just didn’t know exactly what it was! Aside from a week-ago harvest moon, he was unaware of any upcoming special astrological events.

Satisfied that her uncle was settled comfortably, Harm effortlessly pushed the wheelchair up the winding ramp that led towards the facility’s double doors. Mac was a step ahead of them, to hold the doors for their entrance into the dark lobby. “Huh. Well that’s strange…looks like someone forgot to pay the electric bill” Harm joked, risking a glance in his partner’s direction. “Mac, would you see if you can find the light switch? Maybe they forgot to leave the lights on for us”.

Matthew surveyed their surroundings with cautious inquisitiveness. Something just didn’t add up. “You sure it’s tonight, Harm? It looks deserted to me. I didn’t see any cars out in the parking lot, either.”

“Yes sir, the website’s calendar said it was this Saturday night”.

Mac pretended to fumble for the lights momentarily before locating it. “Oh! Here it is!”

“SURPRISE!”

A wave of clapping and cheering ensued, followed by confetti bombs, the latter sending streams of brightly colored paper in Matt’s direction.

Matt jumped in his seat at the unexpected surprise, his jaw dropping as his eyes took in the crowd of people in front of him. There were faces he recognized and some he didn’t; some whom he hadn’t seen in years! Was that Chief Warrant Officer Mark Davis? A mixture of confusion and disbelief crossed his face as his mind worked to process what was happening.

What in the world?´ he thought to himself. ‘There has to be at least thirty people here!’

“Happy Birthday, Uncle Matt!” Mac wrapped her left arm around his shoulders, gesturing with her other to the nearly crowded room. “These are just some of the people whose lives you have touched over the years”. She squeezed his shoulder affectionately. “With the Admiral and Harm’s help, we were able to track down some of your old Corps buddies and even your old college roommates. They all wanted to be here to celebrate your special day”.

Tears welled up in Matt’s eyes. He opened his mouth several times to speak, but found words eluded him. He could only nod in understanding.

Mac bent down alongside him, enveloping his hand gently within hers. “You see, Uncle Matt, YOU are the special star tonight. Everyone wanted to come out to see you”. She kissed his cheek, wiping away the stray tears that had managed to seep out.

“Sarah, I-I don’t know what to say’. He covered her hands with his, squeezing them gently. “You sure know how to fool a guy, don’t you?”

“Matthew! You old dog! It’s so good to see you, man!” A burly man stepped up to them, patting Matt on his upper arm before grabbing him in a brusque but gentle hug. He turned to greet Mac with a warm handshake. “Name’s James Wiegand. This old coot and I were stationed together during our Bosnia and Kuwait tours”. He rubbed the top of his head and flashed a jovial grin. “I left with a crown of hair and the prettiest gal in town batting her eyes at me. I came back with not nary a hair on my head nor a girl on my arm. Meanwhile,” he jerked his thumb towards Matt, “this ol dog walks home with more hair than when he left and the girl I had my eyes on. Beats all I’ve ever seen!” The group chuckled, watching the two old friends engage in friendly banter. It warmed her heart to see her uncle so happy.

“And by the sound of it, you’re still licking your wounds all these years later. What can I say? Rose-Marie had good taste in men. Maybe next time you’ll shave that scraggly beard off like I suggested.” He winked at James, and the two men proceeded to chat as though they had not spent the better part of 10 years and an entire ocean away. Mac smiled at the pair, knowing her uncle was thoroughly enjoying himself.

Harm watched Matthew and Mac’s facial expressions with an intense feeling of satisfaction. It had taken quite a bit of late-night detective work (thanks to Bud) to track James down, but he didn’t regret a minute of it. It was worth it.

“Good evening sir, ma’am” Harriet greeted, then gestured towards the decorations. “Everything just looks fantastic!”

“Thank you, Harriet. And, we’re out of uniform” Harm tapped his shoulder where his military insignia usually rested, “so drop the formalities”.

“Yes sir-I mean, Harm, Mac”. A sheepish grin covered her face.

Mac couldn’t help but laugh. Habits were hard to break, especially when it came to the Roberts’!

AJ had walked up to the group and chose at that moment to interrupt. “I’m impressed, especially knowing that Rabb had a hand in all of this. Now, no talk of work tonight, and that’s an order!”

“Good luck getting her to listen, AJ. I’ve been working on that for the last thirty-two years and I’ve made no progress!” Matt called over his shoulder with a grin.  
“Well, seeing as there is music playing and it’s rather a crime to let a good song go to waste,” AJ extended his hand to Mac, “care to dance, Mac?”

“Certainly, sir,” she clapped a hand over her mouth, “Oops, I mean AJ”.

“That’s more like it”. He effortlessly whisked her out to the dance floor, situating them adjacent to another couple.

The light music continued as the pair moved fluidly to the song; AJ the expert leader, Mac ever the skillful follower. “I wanted to thank you for coming tonight, and for all the work you did on tracking down his platoon members. I’ll never be able to fully express my gratitude,” she glanced over his shoulder at where her uncle sat, surrounded by several friends. Tears pricked her eyes when she heard his laughter skitter across the modest expanse between them. “I don’t think I have ever seen him so happy”. She heaved a poignant sigh. “You know, he lost so much of himself while he was in Leavenworth”.

“It was a privilege to be able to do that, Mac. He’s an honorable man. He made decisions I don’t agree with, but, I know his heart was in the right place”. AJ turned them slightly to the left to avoid running into a fellow couple. She followed his lead fluidly, never missing a step.

“It was, sir”.

AJ stopped abruptly, fixing her with a look.

“Sorry”.

He nodded briefly in acceptance before resuming their dance.

“He and I haven’t always seen eye to eye on the decisions each other has made in our lives, but he only ever wanted the best for those he cared about, including his country”. She jerked her head towards Matthew. “I owe my very life to that man. He is the only reason I’m here today. The only reason why I turned out half-way decent”.

AJ adjusted the light grip he had at her waist, effortlessly steering them to the right. “Undoubtedly Matthew showed you another path, but Mac, you should give yourself more credit. As that old saying goes, ‘You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink’. He led you to where you needed to go, but after that, it was up to you as to whether or not you stayed the course”.

Mac agreed. “Still, he’s at the very least, the reason why I’m here.”

“I’m very glad that you are, Mac. And I am confident to say you’ve impacted the lives of those around you just as positively as Matthew impacted yours. People notice your work ethic, the way you put others ahead of you, your quest to make rights out of wrongs….how you show people that they matter…all of those things do not go unnoticed, I assure you”.

For the second time in a just matter of weeks, Mac was at a loss for words where it concerned her Commanding Officer. All this time, she had been living with the impression that her presence at JAG was inconsequential; moreover, another cog in the work wheel. She worked to keep her voice steady even while his sentiments worked to be a soothing balm on her emotional burns. “Thank you, AJ. That…that means an awful lot to me”.

He fought the urge to shake his head in disbelief. How could she not know her value and worth, not just to the Corps, but to everyone that surrounded her? It was becoming painfully apparent that he would have to pay closer attention to the feedback given during her performance appraisals. Mac was an asset in so many ways, and he couldn’t afford to lose her, or her abilities simply because he wasn’t putting more effort into positive reinforcement.

“You’re welcome, Mac. Everyone deserves to know how people feel about them, don’t you think?”. AJ gave a nearly imperceptible nod in Harm’s direction while the song began to play its last notes. It was also becoming painfully obvious that his two top lawyers needed a gentle push – ok – a forceful shove, towards realizing and admitting their feelings for each other. He could deal with transferring one of them out of his direct command; what he couldn’t deal with was losing both of them permanently or continuing to watch them grow more miserable each day trying to fight and hide how they felt. Besides…he’d already done some legwork and networking on how to keep at least one of them within his command, and permanently loan the other. He already had his pick: Mac for Judicial bench, while keeping Harm on investigations. Both would do well at their assigned positions.

She glanced over her shoulder to find Harm and Bud standing by the drink table, the younger lawyer laughing as Harm undoubtedly regaled him with one of his many Academy adventures. It warmed her heart to see the mentoring to which Harm had taken Bud under his wing, as though they were both the bigger and younger brother both always wanted.

“Never be afraid to take a chance, Mac”. He stilled their movement as he prepared to relinquish his hold, giving her hand the briefest of squeezes. “Just so you’re aware…I can’t make a decision until you’ve made yours. All that needs to be done is paperwork”.

A look of confusion crossed her face while she worked to digest his cryptic message.

‘What was he trying to say?’

And then, with a sudden flash of clarity, understanding dawned upon her. AJ was letting her know there were options available for them; that neither had to give up their career in order to be together. That, in and of itself, was the greatest gift he could give.

Her watery grin conveyed the words she was unable to voice. “Understood, sir.” She laughed slightly at the slip-up. “Thank you. For the dance. For…for everything”. She took a step backwards to allow him by, but he stopped short, turning around to face her once more.

“Just remember, Colonel, us Navy men don’t like to be kept waiting”. A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth, and he winked so fast that Mac could have sworn she imagined it.

And then he was off to mingle with the other guests, leaving Mac to process the generous gift wrapped up in his parting words.

********XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX*******

Seeing Sarah and AJ dancing and engaging in conversation, Matthew decided to seize the opportunity to talk one-on-one with the man who loved Sarah as much as he did. He wheeled over to where Harm stood at the buffet table, pouring a cup of punch for one of the attendees.

“Hey there Matt, did you enjoy catching up with James and Gary?” Harm asked, handing the drink to the guest, nodding with affirmation as the man thanked him before wandering back to a throng of people.

“I really did. I haven’t seen those two in many, many years. I surely wasn’t expecting to ever see him again”. He shook his head when Harm offered a cup to him. “Say, how about we go out to the balcony for a minute? I could use some fresh air. All this pomp and circumstance is making me feel a little stuffed up”. He winked, jovially referring to the regal party decorations and numerous guests that had already come to deliver birthday wishes.

Harm glanced over his shoulder to locate the object of his heart’s desire, unwilling to be too far away from her. Mac was busy dancing with their C.O., and Bud and Harriet were also on the dance floor. Any degree of separation was too much for his liking. After a moment of deliberation, he acquiesced, taking hold of the Colonel’s wheelchair and pushing him beyond the veranda doors. It was a beautiful night, patches of clouds drifting away to reveal a smattering of stars. Aside from the muffled noise from the festivities taking place just beyond the now-closed doors, it was pleasantly silent.

“It’s so peaceful out there, isn’t it?” Matthew remarked, taking a deep breath of frigid air. His eyes followed the erratic trail of a random snowflake as it drifted down, catching a slight gust of wind that whisked it away. Just as the snowflake was carried away by circumstances beyond its control, so was his time on Earth.

Harm surveyed their surroundings, agreeing with Matthew’s observation. “It sure is. Reminds me of earlier this year when Mac and I got stranded in the Afghan desert. We swerved to miss a goat, and in the process, we ran over a landmine. It threw both of us out. I ended up stepping on a delayed pressure mine. Man….I thought I was a goner. But Mac got this crazy idea to swap my foot for the ammo box”. Tears pricked his eyes at the memory of her willingness to endanger herself for him. “She planned to add her weight to it so it would buy me enough time to jump to safety before it detonated”. He cleared his throat to dislodge the lump that suddenly formed. “We were miles from the nearest army base. We ended up sleeping under the stars that night. It was so quiet,” he added, “and cold!”. His mind faded away to the memory of that night, and how good it felt to have her wrapped up in his arms. While he had made the excuse to avoid hypothermia by sharing body heat, the truth was, after their close brush with death, the only thing that made his hands quit shaking and his heart from beating out of his chest was knowing she was tucked safely in his protective embrace. In his arms, no bombs could hurt her. In his arms, no land mine could take her away from him.

He could still recall, with vivid clarity, the silky crown of her head beneath his chin, the occasional whiff of the shampoo she used, and the rhythmic expansion and contraction of her chest against his as she slept. Surprisingly, she had been the first to fall asleep, and it had taken a long time for him to follow suite. He knew life would never afford him another chance to have her this close, so he willed himself to stay awake as long as he possibly could. Every subtle movement, each quiet murmur or breathless sigh was recorded with intense detail, then locked into the deepest recesses of his heart. He had never recalled sleeping as good as he did that night, despite laying on the unforgivingly hard terrain. The threat of being blown up or captured by rebel troops lurked menacingly within the murky shadows. But he didn’t care. They were both alive. She was alive. Sleeping peacefully snuggled in his arms. And in that moment, nothing else mattered. As the stars blinked sleepily in the charcoal canvas of night, he pressed a trembling kiss to her forehead, pulled her as close as physically possible, and thanked the universe for giving him yet one more day with her.

“So, when are you going to ask her?”

Matthew’s unexpected question snapped him out of his desert memories. He turned his attention back to him, a look of apprehension covering his face. How could he have known his true feelings for Mac?

“I’m sorry?”

Matt coughed to cover his laugh. The man couldn’t be this naïve to think he had everyone fooled, could he??? "My niece. When are you going to ask her to marry you?”

Harm tugged at his suddenly uncomfortable necktie, a strangled chuckle forcing its way out of his throat. “Uh, sir….”

“I didn’t just roll off the pumpkin truck, Harm,” Matt fixed him with a look to stop his rebuttal. “I had many a stubborn man serve under me during my years in the service, but I have to say, you are by far the most thickheaded one I ever met”. He regarded the young lawyer with a sense of disbelief. “I know you love my niece. Don’t even try to deny it. I may be old, but I’m not easily fooled”.

Harm swallowed thickly, feeling the icy tendrils of fear begin to slither up his spine. Had Matthew not watched him with careful scrutiny, he might have missed the almost imperceptible nod of agreement. But he remained quite while he waited for the younger man to pull his thoughts together. It was obvious that he was terrified of exposing himself to the maelstrom of emotions love brought with it.

His voice, nothing more than a pained whisper, forced Matthew to strain his ears to catch the words. “Yes sir, I do. I’ve loved her for a very long time”.

A moment of silence drifted between the two as Matthew gave Harm the opportunity to come to terms with the confession he’d just spoken aloud. It nearly overwhelmed his heart to witness the powerful love this man held for his niece. Matthew knew then, most assuredly, that the man standing before him would do all within power to protect her heart, lift her up, and walk with her through the lonely days undoubtedly to come.

“Son, don’t you think it would be a good idea to let Sarah know how you feel? I imagine she already knows, but…she deserves to hear it. From you”.

He braced his hands against the cold wrought iron railing, unconsciously clenching and unclenching his fingers. The very thought of opening his heart made it squeeze with fear. “I….had worked up the nerve to tell her when I returned from the Patrick Henry investigation, but then you were in the hospital, and I didn’t want to add more to her. Plus...I-I don’t know, Matt. What if-, what if she…”. His words halted on the breath of the wind as he found himself unable to voice aloud the paralyzing fear she would not love him in that way. It was just too risky; once the die were rolled in this game of chance, there was no going back.

“Harm, no woman goes through three dress changes, two pairs of shoes, and critiques her appearance for fifteen minutes if she doesn’t have feelings for you”. Matthew chuckled softly, recalling Mac’s anxiety-riddled preening. “Hell, she was so damn nervous she couldn’t still her hands long enough to put her necklace on; it’s why I had to ask you to do it”.

Harm spun around to face Matthew, hardly believing what the older man had revealed.

‘Mac? Nervous? Because of me?!?’

Ever since their introduction, Harm had always known Mac to keep her wits about her, that veneer of Marine calmness an ever-present accompaniment. It kept him grounded, which was an incredible feat given his many ill-advised approaches in the search for truth and justice.

“I can see it in her eyes, Harm. She loves you. Deeply. She’s IN. LOVE. WITH. YOU. And you are so very right for her. My Sarah deserves only the best. You ARE ‘the best’. But you need to tell her, now. Don’t wait until something happens,” he gestured towards himself, referring to his terminal illness, “to make you step up to the plate. By then, time has stripped you to the bone and all you have left are painful yearnings of what could have been”.

Harm paced back to the balcony overhang, folding his arms on top of the cold wrought iron. The Colonel’s words swirled within his cerebral space, working to drive away his insecurities while simultaneously cutting the ropes, one by one, to the lifelines that seemed to drown him, yep kept him afloat for so long. “I’m not…really good with words. All I manage to do with them is cause her pain.” He turned to face Matthew, his eyes suspiciously shiny in the high moonlight. “She’s endured enough. I refuse to be the one to hurt her”.

“Don’t you think you’d hurt her more if you didn’t tell her? Life is all about putting yourself out there, Harm. You, of all people, should know that. Sometimes you get shot down, sometimes you soar. Yeah, it’s risky as hell,” Matthew pointed to the velvet sky overhead, “but wouldn’t you rather be up there in the sky, going after what you want, versus sitting on the ground watching everything pass you by?”. It broke his heart to see the struggle play out on the canvas of emotions Harm had so beautifully painted yet tried to hide.

After a few seconds in silence, Harm turned to face Matthew once more, a look of determination, mixed with carefully disguised fear, having settled deep in his eyes. “How do I not screw this up? Tell me what to say”. His words were nothing more than a whisper, but he may as well have been screaming with the desperation that laced them.

Matt shook his head. “I can’t tell you what to say, Harm. That has to come from you,” he pointed towards Harm’s chest, “your heart. It always knows what to say. Just go with the moment. She knows you so well; better than you think.” He grinned to lighten the moment, “I’d beg to wager, you may very well get a kiss out it”.  
A ghost of a smile tugged at the corners of the stoic lawyer’s mouth, the thought of kissing her sending cataclysmic waves crashing into his chest. He shoved his hands in his pockets in an effort to warm them. He’d made the same promise to two different men, and he’d be dammed if he’d let either of them down.  
“I say we’d better go back in before our mousy Marine sends a search party out to look for us.”

Harm nodded in agreement, holding out his hand to shake with Matthew’s. “Thank you, sir. For everything.”

Matthew returned the handshake. “No thanks necessary. Just take care of her, Harm”. He sniffed suddenly, biting his lip to keep control. “She’s all I’ve ever loved and not lost in this world”.

********XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX*******

Harm and Matthew returned to the reception, finding most people stood in the same proximity as when they’d stepped out. His eyes immediately sought hers out and he breathed a sigh of relief when he found her sharing a dance with Bud. Matthew motioned him to stoop so he could be heard over the hum of mixed conversations. “Do you mind wheeling me over to the DJ? I’ve got a few things I’d like to say to everyone”.

“Absolutely.” Harm maneuvered Matthew over to the DJ’s booth, handing him the microphone before stepping to the side.

He thumped it gently to check the sound, scanning the audience for his intended recipient. “May I have everyone’s attention please, especially my niece, Sarah”. The murmurs of conversation settled down as guests stilled their movements and listened in anticipation.

“First and foremost, I want to thank every single person in this room for coming out tonight, for leaving the comfort of your home, and spending the evening with a washed up ol’ grunt like me”. Matt paused, surveying the people in the room. “It’s been said that a man spends his entire life wondering what the very meaning of life is. And few ever recognize that it can be found in the mirror…if only he is smart enough to realize it”.

Several people nodded, raising their drink in agreement.

“At any rate, when I was just a young man, not much older than Mike Roberts,” he nodded towards Bud’s younger brother, “I had just left Fort Campbell from a de-briefing after an eight-month deployment in Bosnia. It also happened to be my 21st birthday. I had no plans to celebrate. All I wanted to do was get home and check on my mother and my sister”. His eyes roamed over the room, noting the rapt attention with which he held his audience. “I’ll never forget the look on my mother’s face when I walked off the plane. She said to me, ‘Deanna’s in the hospital but she refuses to let me see her or the baby’”. Clearing his throat, Matthew’s eyes settled on Mac. “I was shocked. You see, I didn’t even know my sister was pregnant. She never told me. The two of us had been very close up until the year I joined the military. Looking back, I realized she hated me for leaving because she thought I was leaving her”.

Mac risked a sideways glance at Harm, recalling with a stab of pain when he’d said his goodbyes to her on his last day at JAG. He was returning to active flight status. He was leaving her. The hurt and disappointment she’d experienced in the wake of his departure had been enough to split her heart in two. It was an all-consuming, suffocating desolation that wrapped around her, pushing her to retreat from everything and everyone. And if his absence had not been painful enough, she received only sporadic emails from him, all of which were work related. No phone calls, no cards, no pictures. Nothing. It was as if his old life no longer mattered; it was as though they, she, amounted to nothing more than remnants of an unappetizing meal left behind. And rather than work to see things from his vantage point, she’d turned inward, the old familiar taunts of inferiority and insecurity crawling forth from the dark of her mind to remind her just where she stood in the eyes of the man she loved so much.

Matthew swallowed thickly to steady his voice. “But that couldn’t have been further from the truth. I was trying to make a way for us. I wanted to take my sister with me, but I knew I couldn’t do so until I got on my feet. It was during my first deployment that she met Joe…and well, I didn’t approve of him right from the start. He didn’t love her the way she deserved to be loved. The protective side of me came out, and Deanna didn’t like it”.

Harm’s mind flashed back to the encounter he’d had with Dalton Lowne at JAG Headquarters after Mac had broken off their relationship. Right from the start, the man had given him the creeps, with the way he regarded Mac as though she were his fuck trophy…as though he had rights to her. It set Harm on perpetual edge; made his skin crawl. In his eyes, no man would ever be good enough for her but him. But when he’d voiced his concerns to her, they’d come out as accusations. As per Rabb communication style, he’d managed to screw up the words and miscommunicate entirely his true feelings. In response to his lack of eloquence, she had quickly dismissed his sentiments. And, as per Mackenzie style, she’d gone on to rub salt in his wounds by reminding him his absence from her life had resulted in his forfeiture of rights to any input on her dating life. It had taken months for their relationship to return to its usual affection and banter, but not without a lot of challenging work on his end. In retrospect, Harm realized that his return to flying had nearly cost him the one thing he treasured above anything else.

Matthew continued. “In a way, I think she married him to spite me, to show me that she could hurt me in the way that I had hurt her. We went the better part of my second deployment not speaking. I’d send her letters almost every week, but she’d never write back. In my heart, I knew my sister was in trouble, but there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it”.

Mac looked down at her feet, the memory of her father’s abuse invading her mind. Harm squeezed her hand gently, his silent way of communicating support.

“I’ve walked across miles of barren desert, knowing I was a sitting duck for the enemy. I’ve faced the business end of a sniper rifle more times than I cared to remember. And I’ve seen more fellow soldiers return home in body bags than I wanted to count. But nothing compared to how difficult it was for me to walk down that hospital corridor to her room. I was so afraid of what I would find”. He wiped a hand across his eyes and he struggled to keep his breath. “So, imagine my utter relief when I pushed open that door and saw Deanna laying in that hospital bed. And then…then, out of the corner of my eye, I see this tiny bundle moving”. Matthew’s eyes settled on his niece. “I peered over into the incubator, and my heart just stopped. Deanna told me that she’d come early, she was a preemie”. His voice quivered as he spoke, “My heart…this tough Marine’s heart, just froze. This tiny baby…she just looked at me intently, as though she’d been waiting on me all my life. There were so many tubes and wires running in and out of her little body. I was terrified my rough ol’ hands would hurt her”.

By this point, sniffles were heard in the otherwise silent room, and there were few dry eyes to be found.

“The moment I picked that precious baby up in my arms,” he choked, “all those damn war demons just fled into the distance. Sarah was so tiny, but dammit it if she didn’t come out fighting, all 4 lbs and 3 oz of her. I never knew I had a hole in my heart until she was in my arms. And I just wanted to cry because this beautiful little baby didn’t even have a name. I knew that she probably wouldn’t be raised with the riches of love and security like so many other children. So, I knew her name had to be strong, noble”.

Matthew pulled a cassette tape from his jacket pocket and held it up. “On the way to the combat zone, a buddy of mine gave me this cassette tape….told me it was music from a band he really liked, called ‘Starship’”. He returned the tape to his pocket. “When I heard their song, ‘Sara’, I immediately fell in love with it. I listened to that song so much I nearly wore the tape out. And so, I decided to name my niece, Sarah.. Sarah means “Princess” in Hebrew. Matthew gestured over to Mac, who’s eyes glittered with unshed tears. “We’ll save that song for later. Right now, I’d like to ask my favorite girl in the whole world, to dance. That is, if she’ll have an ol’ fool like me”. Matthew handed the microphone back to the DJ, then wheeled out to the middle of the floor. He held out his hand to Mac.

“Of course, Uncle Matt, it would be my honor to dance with the man who stole my heart all those years ago,” she responded tearfully, joining her uncle in the now empty circle as everyone had moved away to allow them space on the dance floor. “But I don’t want you wearing yourself out”.

“I’ll be fine. I want one last dance with you, Sarah.” He put the brakes on his wheelchair, pushing away his footrests. Harm and AJ immediately strode forward, coming to stand on either side of him.

“I know we’re not Marines, but we all stand behind our fellow soldiers no matter what,” Harm stated, grasping Matthew’s left hand with his and placing his other underneath his arm as AJ did the same. Mac stood in front of him, her hands outstretched in anticipation. In one fluid motion, the two officers lifted Matthew to his feet while Gunny stepped up to pull the wheelchair back. Matthew took a moment to gather his footing, then grasped his niece’s hands. Satisfied that he was steady on his feet, the two officers retreated to the sidelines, keeping within proximity should he need their assistance.

“See there, Sarah? I’m ok. Just takes me a minute, that’s all”.

Mac bit back the tears that threatened to gather. “I have all the time in the world for you, Uncle Matt”. With a watery smile, she stepped into his arms, gently framing his face with her hand. She looked into his eyes, which for so many years had simply been her strength and stay. “Show this lady how a gentleman leads in a dance, will ya?”

Tenderly, he stroked her hand where it lay against his cheek, then pulled her close as she rested her head against his chest. “It would be my honor, my Princess”.  
Soft strains of Eva Cassidy’s voice filtered out into the dance floor, wrapping the pair in a sense of warmth and security.

“Midnights in winter  
The glowing fire  
Lights up your face in orange and gold….  
I see your sweet smile  
Shine through the darkness  
It's line is etched in my memory  
So I'd know you by heart…

Matthew’s mind travelled back to the moment he first laid eyes on his niece, just a few hours old yet with the wisdom of elders having already settled deep within her big brown eyes. The moment he had spoken to her, a smile lit up her tiny face, branding his heart forever. It was, indeed, etched in his memory.

"Mornings in April  
Sharing the secrets  
We'd walk on till the morning was gone"

As the pair danced slowly, Harriet discreetly snapped several photos, having to periodically take her eyes from the viewfinder to wipe the moisture on her cheeks. The camera had been a lucky find at her local thrift store, but this evening, it was proving to be worth far more than the original $20 spent to purchase it. It was important to her to capture these moments. It was important because she knew moments such as these, just as the last time she held her daughter before her tiny body was lowered into the grave, would never come again.

"We were like children  
Laughing for hours  
The joy you gave me  
Lives on and on

'Cause I know you by heart…"

“You have given me so much joy, Sarah, so much joy. Ever since you came into this world and into my heart”. Matthew whispered into her ear, his voice choking with emotion. “You brought me alive”.

"I still hear your voice  
On warm summer nights  
Whispering like the wind  
Ohhh, ohhhh, ohhhhh, ohhhh"

Matt covered the back of her head with a shaking head, as he tucked her closer, willing his legs to hold up just a little bit longer. Even still, he knew Mac was bearing a good bit of his weight.

"You left in autumn  
The leaves were turning  
I walked down roads of orange and gold"

Mac hugged him tightly, noting the irony of the song as it was indeed, autumn, and the leaves were turning, just as her uncle’s time was turning. “I don’t want you to leave me, Uncle Matt” she sobbed into his shoulder, her tears seeping into the collar of his shirt.

"I saw your sweet smile  
I heard your laughter  
You're still here beside me  
Everyday"

The tough old Marine squeezed his eyes shut to try to keep the tears in but was unsuccessful, and the tears streamed down his face. “I don’t want to leave you either, baby, but just know I’ll always be by your side. Don’t forget, I know you by heart, remember?”

"'Cause I know you by heart……

'Cause I know you by heart……"

As the last few notes faded away, Mac felt more of his weight leaning on her, and she nodded at AJ, Gunny, and Harm standing just a few feet away. The trio hastened to position the wheelchair and eased Matthew back into it just as his shaky legs gave way. She clasped his hands, kissing them softly as she knelt in front of him, her eyes glistening.

“That dance meant more to me than you’ll ever know, Uncle Matt,” she whispered, “I’ll never love another man as much as I love you”.

Matt chuckled, glancing up at Harm, who stood behind him, then back at her. “Never say never, Sarah. I have a suspicious feeling I’ve been sharing your heart since the day that man over there put his life on the line for me in Arizona”.

She followed his gaze, a shy smile gracing her lips. He was right. She’d kept Harm tucked away in the dark recesses of her heart, afraid of rejection, of not being worthy enough for his love. Matthew gently held her chin as he whispered fiercely, “You ARE good enough. You ARE worthy enough. YOU ARE ENOUGH, Sarah. For anyone. Including him. Take it from someone who wishes he could go back in time and change things. Sarah, take the risk and tell him. He deserves to know how you feel. And goodness knows you deserve his love. You deserve to be happy”. He interrupted her with a shake of his head. “Sarah, I won’t be there physically when you two get married or when you bring your children into this world, but know that I will be by your side, always, and in all ways. I’m just a smile and a memory away”. He cleared his throat, then thumbed the tears that had streaked her cheek. “Now I believe this handsome man over here was next in line on your dance card”.

Harm nodded in appreciation towards Matt, then held out his hand to Mac. “I’d like to have this dance with you, Sarah”.

The DJ changed the music, and the beginning strains of Hammock begin to filter across the quiet dance floor. The lights slowly dimmed, casting them in an ambient glow.

He gathered her close in his arms, reveling in the way Mac fit so perfectly against him. It was as though she’d been made specifically for him. With his previous girlfriends, it always felt forced, like a pair of too-small shoes that one bought because they couldn’t find anything better. It amazed him in that where he was hard and unyielding, she was soft and giving. She felt so good, so right. How he could go the rest of his life without ever feeling this again, he did not know. But he was determined that tonight would not be the end of the road for him…for them. It just couldn’t.

With one hand resting at her hip, the other holding her hand against his chest, he was certain that this was as close to heaven as he would ever get. And he was quite certain that she could feel the erratic beating of his heart. He rested his cheek against hers, marveling at the softness of her skin when he would subtly turn to nuzzle his nose against the underside of her ear. The movement brought a pleasant chill to her skin, which did not go unnoticed. As the soft music weaved a cocoon around them, the world seemed to peel away, faces of those in the crowd disappearing into the distance. The fear of what impression they were giving their audience no longer registered, even in the darkest recesses of his mind. All that mattered in that moment was the wonderful way she felt in his arms, and frankly, he just didn’t care anymore. He was tired of fighting his feelings. Tired of fighting the external forces that tried so hard to keep them apart. Tired of worrying about regulations, careers, ramifications. Harm was tired.

Mac willed her heart to steady itself within her chest as the warmth from his hand seeped through the layers of her clothing. Ever the gentleman, he kept his hands from venturing into inappropriate territory, but it surely did not leave her without longing for more….much more from this man. She rested her free hand on the side of his neck, the other hand pleasantly trapped against his chest where she could feel the beating of his heart. The way he subtly nuzzled her cheek, her ear….nearly left her breathless. Aware that they had a captive audience, she clamped down on her urge to turn her head just mere inches and act on the flaming desire that had been burning in the depths of her heart for so many years. Instead, she contented herself with focusing on the on-and-off puffs of breath against her ear. All that mattered was that she was in his arms, in that moment, and she knew then that she could never live another day without him knowing how she felt. Consequences be dammed.

A sense of calm satisfaction settled on AJ’s face as he watched the pair relax in step with each other. There was not a shred of doubt, in his mind, that the handsome Commander and the beautiful Colonel, were made for each other. Despite his relationship with Sydney Walden having drowned in the ocean, taking his heart with it, AJ still believed in real, abiding love. The kind that even the strongest tempest of fate could not rip apart. And if it couldn’t be him to find that kind of love, at least it could be found between two of the finest people he’d ever had serve in his command. A quick glance in Matthew’s direction confirmed that he was not alone in his sentiments.

All too soon, the last notes of the song faded into the distance, and the two were forced to return to reality. “Sarah,” he whispered, his voice so quiet she had to strain to hear it. She raised an eyebrow in hesitant curiosity, eager to know what was on his mind, but nervous to find out. He moved both hands to her waist, his grip light and steadfast. Expecting him to let her go, her heart quivered when he gently tugged her closer.

“I don’t want to let you go, but I have to. Just know, we’re not done here”. He whispered the words into her ear, following them with the barest of kisses to her cheek. “Dinner with me. Friday night?” His eyes searched hers earnestly for a sliver of hope to cling to.

She was overwhelmed by the storm of emotions brewing within her, but one look into his eyes and she knew then, he was ready. Whatever bonds had previously restrained him from revealing his feeling were now broken. She accepted his proposal with a nod, responding with her eyes what her mouth could not articulate  
“Good”. His voice was soft as a flash of relief crossed his face. He tucked her closer and the corners of his mouth quirked up. “Good”.

“How about a toast to the one and only, Colonel Matthew Thomas O’Hara” Bud called out, his sudden but jovial announcement startling them out of their intimate moment. He raised his glass, tapping it enthusiastically. “Here here!”

“For he’s a jolly good fellow, for he’s a jolly good fellow, for he’s a jolly good felllllloooooow……that NOBODY CAN DENY! HOO RAH!” the crowd chanted out, ending the salute in a round of applause and clapping.

The spell was effectively broken between them, and the two were forced to break apart for the evening. He led her back to where Matthew sat at the table, giving her hand the slightest of squeezes before forcing himself to walk away. He knew if he were to look at her any longer, he couldn’t be held responsible for his actions, and this was certainly not the time or place where he wanted to kiss the living daylights out of her.

Matthew bore a grin that would rival the Cheshire cat when Mac settled in beside him. “It looks like you thoroughly enjoyed that dance, Sarah”.

Mac’s face turned a lovely shade of crimson, but for the first time, she looked him in the eye when it came to the topic of Harm. “I did, Uncle Matt”. A bashful smile crossed her face. “It was really nice”.

“You dance so beautifully together; not many people do. But when two people are made for each other, they are capable of such beautiful and extraordinary things”.  
She eyed him with skepticism. “Do you really think so, Uncle Matt?”

He shook his head. “No. I don’t think so. I KNOW so. Now, you better tell your man how you feel before he gets away!”

Her gaze followed Harm’s figure while he drifted into the throng of people. “Something tells me, Uncle Matt, that he won’t let me get too far out of his sight”. She turned to face her uncle once more, a feeling of peaceful resolution settling within her. She was tired of running. It was time to face her feelings…time for them to face their feelings. She was ready.

2200 MT  
Mac’s Apartment  
Georgetown, VA

Shortly after the last attendee bid farewell to Matthew, the last of the few boxes of decorations were loaded into the back of Harm’s SUV and the leftover party food was portioned into plastic containers. Gunny and Tiner had graciously offered to dismantle the decorations, for which she was immensely grateful. It allowed her to get Matthew home quicker, and the sooner, the better. By the time they were en route to her apartment, it was past 2200. The party had only lasted a few hours, but to Mac, it felt like it passed by in a flash. She hated to see the night end, mostly because she hadn’t seen her uncle so happy in such a long time. However, as the evening wore on, it was obvious the four hours spent sitting in a wheelchair was taking its toll. The ride back to the apartment was spent in comfortable silence, each lost in their own thoughts from the events of the day.

The moment they walked thru the doors, she immediately toed off her heels, tossing her purse and keys on the entry table. “As much fun as tonight was, these shoes have long ago worn out their welcome”.

Harm shook his head in befuddlement. Women! “I’ll never understand why you ladies like to torture yourself with those things. I have yet to see a pair that looked even remotely comfortable”. He shut and locked the front door before wheeling Matthew over to the bed.

She called over her shoulder as she made her way into the kitchen to set up his nighttime medications. “Remember what I said all those years ago? All a woman needs is a good man, a good career, and-”

“Shoes! Lots and lots of comfortable shoes!” Harm finished with a grin as he retrieved a pair of Matthew’s pajamas from the pile of folded laundry on the couch. He effortlessly transferred Matthew onto the side of the bed before handing him the flannel material.

“Well Sarah, it looks to me like you’ve got two out three, which, according to Meatloaf, ain’t bad!” Matthew quipped, earning him a playful yell of protest from the direction of the kitchen. He stifled a yawn, clearly exhausted from the events of the evening. “I’m afraid I’ll be asleep as soon as my head hits this pillow”.

“I’m sorry we kept you out so late. I know you’re exhausted. Let me help you get changed and comfortable”. Harm maneuvered the wheelchair out of the way, sidestepping a box of adult briefs sitting. He hated to ask, but aware that Matthew had not been to the restroom all evening, it was imperative that he was clean and dry. He jerked his head towards the box. “You need another one?”

A quick glance over his shoulder assured him that Mac, still in the kitchen preparing his medications, was out of earshot. “No. I don’t take in much these days, so…” he gestured towards his lap, “not a lot of output”.

Harm gave a brief nod of understanding, then moved to assist Matthew out of his sportcoat, tie, and dress-shirt. He kept the topic of conversation centered on the party to avoid making Matthew feel uncomfortable. Harm left him to button the flannel shirt as he knelt to untie his shoes and change his pants. While Mac was undoubtedly in great physical shape, her uncle was nearly 6’4, and even in his weakened state, Harm guessed that he outweighed her by at least fifty pounds. She did not need to bear more weight than necessary, both physical and mental. Moreover, Harm, being a man of honor, wanted to preserve the elder Colonel’s dignity. It was the least he could do for a man that went out of his way to make him feel worthy of Sarah’s love. Once the shoes were off and set aside, Harm motioned for him to stand so he could remove his dress pants. He held steady as Matthew gripped his shoulders for support, then quickly swapped out the pants for the pajama bottoms. His heart sank as he noticed the wasting away of muscle tone. Mac was right; his rapid weight loss over the course of two weeks forced him to agree with her opinion that the doctor overestimated his lifespan. After another minute, Matthew was dressed and comfortable. He gave a sigh of contentment and adjusted the nasal cannula in his nose, reaching for the covers Harm had pulled up from the foot of the bed. Although exhausted, he would not have traded the evening for any amount of money. He motioned for Harm to take a seat in the bedside chair.

“Harm, there are not enough words or time in the day to thank you for all you did. No one has ever gone to such lengths to make my birthday so special. It truly was one of the best nights of my life”. He gestured towards the kitchen, where Mac was returning the tops to the medication bottles. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen her more at peace than when she was dancing with you. I hope you’ll consider what I said”.

A smile gathered at the corners of Harm’s mouth. “She, um…knows we need to talk. I’m taking her out next Friday evening”. He shifted his weight in the chair, keeping a watchful eye on the kitchen. “There’s this little café by the riverfront. I am good friends with the owner, so I think we’ll be able to talk without any interruptions, and it’s neutral territory, so to speak. I don’t want to rush or mess things up between us. She is too important”.

“Agreed wholeheartedly.” Matthew patted his knee in fatherly affection just as Mac returned from the kitchen with his box of medications in one hand, a cup of some rather unappetizing liquid in the other. She gave him an apologetic smile, settling herself on the edge of the bed. He recognized the liquid and pulled a face.  
“Sorry Uncle Matt, but you know what time it is”.

Harm reached beside him to fill a water glass as she dispensed three capsules into her uncle’s hand. He took the glass of water, quickly downing the fist of pills before reluctantly reaching for the liquid.

“Liquid protein”. She answered Harm’s unasked question. “It helps with healing the wound on his sacral area. Since he’s not able to get up and move around alot, he’s developed a small ulcer. They don’t want it to get worse”.

Harm peered into the cup, then wrinkled his nose at the smell. “It doesn’t look or smell like it tastes all that great”.

“Oh it isn’t, trust me, but it’s the doctor’s, and her” he pointed a finger at Mac, “orders”. He folded his arms across his chest and gave her a mock glare. “We all know that baby duck here gets what she wants. Well, most of the time, anyway”.

Hearing his term of endearment once again, it prompted Harm to inquire as to the origins of her nickname.

“There’s got to be some intriguing story behind that nickname of yours, Marine”.

Matt chuckled, fighting off a yawn as he grinned at his niece. “When Deanna would bring Sarah by to visit, she was just a toddler. Couldn’t hardly see over her own nose! And she’d follow me around everywhere I went, asking me a thousand questions and mimicking everything I did. If I had my shirt off while working out in the yard, Sarah would be out there with no shirt, too”.

Mac laughed at the memory. “I remember when mom made me start wearing clothes outside. I was so mad!”

“You sure were! Your momma didn’t have a clue how to deal with you!”. He looked at Mac affectionately, taking her hand in his. “One day, I took her to the park to feed the ducks, and while we were sitting there, I noticed how the baby ducks would all follow the mama. They’d follow her out of the water, across the sidewalk, down the other side of the bank, and back into the water. All the while they would just be noisily quacking. Quack, quack quack! It occurred to me that Sarah was just like one of those ducks. She followed me everywhere, constantly asking questions. So I started calling her baby duck, and it just…well…stuck!”

“You know, the sad part is, I’ve answered to it ever since!” Mac chuckled as she rose to her feet, smoothing the blankets where she’d rumpled them. “And with that, it’s way past your bedtime, mister”.

“Yes ma’am, it sure is!” He reached out to shake Harm’s hand. “Thanks again, for everything”.

“My pleasure, Matt. Get some rest”.

“Give me a second to put on my coat so I can walk you out” Mac offered, reaching for her coat she had laid on the back of the couch.

He shook his head, placing a gentle hand on her arm to stop her. “No, Mac. You stay in here where it’s warm. I don’t want you out in this cold again. Besides,” he flashed her a teasing smile, “I think I can manage to find the exit on my own”.

Rolling her eyes, she pocketed the apartment keys before handing him his leather gloves. “Well, at least let me walk you downstairs. The outer door tends to stick a little if you’re not careful. And I need to check the mail”. The latter part was a bit of a lie, but what he didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him, she reasoned. The truth was, she was not ready for him to leave.

He considered her offer a moment before shrugging his shoulders. “Fair enough. But you’re not so much as stepping a toe out that door. It’s 14 degrees below freezing. No arguments!” As much as he wanted Mac to stay with him as long as possible, there was no way he was letting her get out in the cold again.  
She gave him a reproachful look, then turned to address her uncle. “I’m going to walk Harm out and check the mail. I’ll be back in a minute. Don’t wait up for me”.

He gave her a thumbs up sign and turned over on his side, fighting back a laugh. She really didn’t think he was that clueless, did she?

********XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX*******

Mindful of the late hour, Harm and Mac were quiet as they walked towards the elevators. Exhausted from the evening’s events, neither spoke a word as the elevator descended to the lobby. The doors opened too soon for her liking, and before she realized it, they were standing at the front entrance. For a moment, neither spoke, unsure of what to say and afraid of saying the wrong words.

Both spoke simultaneously, causing each to laugh and break the awkwardness. Ever the gentleman, Harm gestured for her to go first.  
“I know I keep saying this, but thank you, Harm. My uncle was so happy tonight. I honestly don’t know what I -we - would do without you in our lives”. She squeezed his hand gently, his gloved hands soft against her bare fingers.

“It was my pleasure, Mac, I promise you that. I…I just wish I could make every day this good for him. And you. I know those will be hard to come by very soon”. The moment the words were out of his mouth, he wanted to kick himself in the teeth. She didn’t need another reminder!

‘Dammit Rabb, you just had to put your foot in your mouth, didn’t you?’

He cleared his throat in awkward embarrassment and looked down at his shoes.

She tipped his chin up gently, forcing him to look at her. “Every day with you in it, Harm, is a good day. Always”. A bashful smile crossed her face and she let out a quivering breath. The way he was looking at her……

His brain froze up solid: somewhere in the back of his mind, her gentle touch and words of endearment registered. Her eyes twinkled softly with emotions he could not entirely decipher. The way she was looking at him…

“Friday night. Eighteen thirty. I’ll pick you up. Don’t forget.” he blurted out when his mind finally disengaged.

“Locked down and committed to memory, sailor”. She shivered when a fellow dweller entered the building, sending a blast of icy air in her direction. He tugged her closer to ward off the chill. “So, what should I wear? I mean…I…well…uh, is this a date?”

‘Dammit Mackenzie! Keep it together!

She was nervous, and it was showing despite her efforts to keep herself calm.

He studied her thoughtfully for a long moment, almost long enough to make her think he was having second doubts.

Shit’

“I’m sorry, I read too much into it” she waved her hand in the air, “Just forget that last part”.

“No! No….no. Not at all”. He reached out to grab her hand before she could pull it away. “Wear a pretty dress. For me”. The words tumbled over themselves, and he inwardly cringed at the ineloquent request.

“Geez Rabb, the fifteen year old kid next door is smoother than that!’

“Okay then….for you, “ her eyes sparkled with something he couldn’t quite put his finger on, “I’ll wear the prettiest one I have.” She smiled, then stood on her toes to deliver a gentle kiss to his cheek. “Goodnight flyboy. Be careful. And let me know when you make it home, please”. Although she was about ready to fall into bed from sheer exhaustion, she would not sleep until he was safely home.

“I will. You have my word”. The solemn promise came out in a husky whisper. His eyes lingered on hers for a moment longer before he forced himself to turn away. God how he wanted to lose himself in her! But he knew, if he were to kiss her now, he would not be able to leave. “Goodnight, ninjagirl”. He touched her cheek gently, then forced himself to exit the building quickly before the irrational side of him could toss his resolve to the wind.

She lingered at the door, the seepage of cold air doing nothing to curb the heat that had risen to her cheeks at his simple gesture. She waved to him, although he could not see her, until his SUV turned the corner and was out of sight. A goofy smile crossed her face. She shook her head at the ridiculousness of her reaction.

‘Good grief Mackenzie, he didn’t even kiss you and you’re already smiling like some teenager who just got her first kiss!’

The trek back to the apartment was spent analyzing every second of the deliciously sweet moments that just transpired, until she felt her mind would explode with fatigue-induced giddiness. She entered the apartment quietly, careful not to make any noise. Noticing her uncle was asleep, she reached over and switched off his bedside lamp, then settled herself on the couch. But as she made herself comfortable beneath the covers, Matthew’s sleepy voice emerged from across the room.  
“So, the mail runs twice now, eh?”

Shit.

She’d forgotten she’d handed him birthday cards from his friends and former inmates that afternoon.

Cards from that day’s mail delivery.

She rolled her eyes but worked to keep the smile of out her voice, thankful he couldn’t see her face in the pressing darkness that surrounded them. “Go to sleep, Uncle Matt!”.

“Ohhh…I get it now…” Matt feigned understanding, “You definitely ‘got male’. Just not the paper kind”.

“GO. TO. SLEEP!” She gave an exasperated laugh as she pulled the covers over her and closed her eyes. Her uncle’s fading laughter echoed in her ear while the burning touch of Harm’s fingers against her cheek quickly lulled her to sleep.

:: END CHAPTER TEN:::


	11. Chapter Eleven

Title: “I’ll Be There” Chapter Eleven  
Author: Macattack102712, aka “Mac Mackenzie”  
Publish Date: Original Publish date: August 2002, redone and completed 2017/2018.  
Pairing: Harm/Mac  
Category: Romance/Angst  
Summary: Mac gets devastating news regarding her beloved Uncle Matt. Her JAG family must come together to get her through the hardest trial of her life. In the process, she learns the tremendous gift and power that comes with letting love in. 

Authors Notes: If you haven’t noticed by now, I am a music addict; I’ve always got it playing no matter where I am! The song I chose to include in this chapter is, “How Many Times” by Common Children. CC emerged during the shoegaze/ambient days of the mid 90’s, and although CC is no longer together, its founder, Marc Byrd, moved on to create the post-modern rock band, Hammock. I used one of their songs, “We Could Die Chasing This Feeling” in the previous chapter. I always love exposing people to other genres of music, so I hope you’ll listen to it while you read the scene it is written for. I’ve included a hyperlink for convenience.   
*I added PT/ET (Pacific, Eastern) to the scenes where Harm is in California to explain the time difference. 

*Satyendrah is the Hindu name of a very dear friend of mine. The English name translation is, “Stefan”, which is his American name.   
*I’ll be traveling overseas extensively in the coming weeks, so I don’t anticipate Ch 12 to be written until after September. Without further talk, here it is. Enjoy!

0700 MT  
Monday  
Harm’s Apartment  
Union Station

The omelette popped and sizzled in the skillet as Harm slid it onto a plate to cool, tendrils of steam leaping up only to dissolve in the cooler air. He turned to pluck the wheat bread from the toaster, hastily dropping two piping hot slices on a separate plate. As he reached in the refrigerator to retrieve the butter tub, his phone rang. He glanced at the caller I.D. 

It was Trish Burnette, his mother.

Wiping his hands on a towel, he accepted the call, pinning the phone between his shoulder and ear so he could continue preparing breakfast.   
“Hey mom, how’s it going?” He glanced at his watch; it was 0700, which meant it was 0400 on the West coast….too early for his mother to be calling. He voiced his concern. “Everything okay? You usually never call this early”. 

Her voice muffled briefly before clearing across the line. “Hey sweetheart. Well,” more muffling, with his step-father, Frank, fussing in the background, “everything was going great until Frank broke his arm yesterday evening. We just now got home from the hospital”. 

He paused in his buttering of wheat toast and settled himself on a nearby kitchen stool. From the sound of it, he felt the conversation might be a long one. “Good grief Mom! What happened?”

A tired sigh escaped her, and Harm heard his step-father faintly call out to greet him. “He was replacing the bulbs in the garden lightpost when the ladder slipped. Fell six feet and landed on his side. Dislocated his shoulder, too. It’s a miracle he-”. She stopped in mid sentence, suddenly aware of the time difference. “Oh dear, you’re trying to get ready for work, aren’t you? I’m so sorry!” 

Harm shook his head even though the gesture was lost on her. “Don’t you worry about me. Is Frank going to be okay?”

“He’s fine, a bit uncomfortable at the moment. Thankfully, the break was a clean one so they were able to set it without too much difficulty. However, they did send him home in a sling for his shoulder”. As she spoke, she assisted her husband into his favorite recliner, propping his plastered arm on a pillow before laying a blanket over him. 

“That’s good to know”. A thought suddenly occurred to him. “Aren’t you guys supposed to be moving this week?” 

After a tropical storm had destroyed the Burnett’s beach-front home eight months prior, they’d been renting an unfurnished condo while the new house was being built elsewhere. They were able to salvage a few things from their flooded home before insurance razed it. The now-vacant beachfront property was sold, and the two purchased another lot just a few miles down the road. The new location set substantially higher on a hillside while offering additional protection at the hands of a small inlet. 

“I’ve always said Frank has terrible timing,” she let out a breathless laugh as she dumped a basket of clean laundry onto the couch to fold, “he sure proved it this weekend! We’re supposed to vacate the condo by the end of the month, but I don’t see how in the world we can get everything done in two weeks’ time, especially with him out of commission”. 

Taking a sip of his coffee, Harm bit off a piece of buttered toast. “How about I hire a moving company to pack and move everything for you?”

“Harmon, don’t talk with your mouth full,” she admonished.

He pulled the phone away from his ear, looked at it incredulously, then shook his head, and swallowed the wad of toast. “Sorry Mom”.

“At any rate”, she continued without missing a beat, “I already looked into that option. With the holidays coming up, all the moving companies in the area are booked solid for the next three weeks. I’m just glad I was able to reserve a moving trailer”. Trish settled herself on the sofa, curling her legs underneath her. Seeing as it was 0515 in the morning, the laundry could wait. She was exhausted, and besides...Frank had drifted off the sleep, the pain medications having taken effect. She might as well rest while the moment presented itself. 

The hesitation was evident in her voice. “Harm, this is reaching for the stars; I don’t know if there is any way possible, but-” 

He cut her off, already three steps ahead of her. “I will ask the Admiral if I can snag the weekend off. I’ve got trial all this week that I can’t postpone. The earliest I could expect to fly out is Saturday”. His date with Mac was one he was not willing to cancel, not even for his mother. “If I can get permission, would that work for you?”  
Her gratitude flowed over the line connecting the two. “Oh Harmon, that would be just wonderful. I hate to impose on you, but you’re my only option at this point. You know I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t have my back against the wall”. She hated to take him away from his job, but Frank’s unexpected injury had put them on a pressing timeline. 

He dismissed her her apology. “You’re not imposing, Mom. Let me talk to the Admiral when I get to work”. 

“We have a bed in the guest room, so you’ll have a place to sleep. Oh, and we’ll buy your ticket. No arguments!” She looked over at Frank, who was sound asleep, snoring rather loudly. “Frank insists”.

“Mom, based on the snoring I hear in the background, I think it’s safe to assume Frank is unable to commit to such a thing,” he teasingly called her out, “and I can buy my own ticket, you know”. 

“Yes, yes” she clucked, “I know you are quite capable of taking care of yourself, but let us take care of YOU this one time. It’s the least we can do. At any rate, I need to quit bending your ear so you can get to work and I can get in a nap. I’m exhausted”. 

Pinning the phone against his ear once more, he cleared the breakfast dishes from the counter and loaded them in the dishwasher. “Alright mom, get some rest. I’ll call you in a little bit. Love you”. 

“Thanks sweetheart, love you too. Talk to you soon”. 

The line disconnected, leaving Harm to pull his thoughts back to his morning routine. He checked his watch, grimacing when the big hand hovered over the half-hour mark. If he didn’t hurry, his ass would be late for staff call. Not a good way to start the morning with the Admiral, especially since he needed to ask for time off. With any luck, he would be in a good mood and would grant the leave. 

While most of his time would be spent moving boxes and heavy furniture, the idea of spending an extended weekend in sunny California certainly was appealing. The dreary, boorish weather on the East Coast was beginning to grate his nerves; the opportunity to thaw out a bit was one he certainly welcomed with open arms. His toes already itched with anticipation of digging them in the warm sandy beaches. 

If only Mac could go with him……

‘Better get your six in gear, Rabb. Staff call in an hour!’

Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, he headed towards the bedroom to finish dressing, eager to get to work and secure his leave. 

1430 MT  
Friday  
Third Floor, JAG Headquarters  
Falls Church, VA

The courtroom doors swung shut behind Mac, signaling the end to a more than satisfactory trial. She’d managed to pocket another win for the month after sufficiently proving her client’s innocence. A hunch earlier in the week had led Mac down the proverbial rabbit hole; had she not learned to trust her gut, she would have abandoned the small lead, thus erroneously pinning the blame on her client. Lt. Singer had been left to review the more-than-fair plea deal Mac had kindly left on the table.

She pressed the elevator call button, allowing her mind to drift while she waited for its arrival. With another victory under her belt, the afternoon was looking up, especially considering what was planned later that evening. 

A date…

With him. 

Just the very thought made her heart flutter in nervous anticipation!

He had asked her on a date. Harmon Rabb, the man notorious for shying away from anything that remotely forced him to discuss the future of their relationship. Or lack thereof. It seemed, that each time she put her heart on the line, willing to take the next step, he’d backpedaled, fleeing in the opposite direction. To anyone else, it was quite obvious that he was scared, but in her mind, it felt like rejection. She’d often wondered what made him reject her. Was it due to his inability to commit, or due to his finding her undesirable? Regardless, it seemed that now he was ready to at least meet her halfway. 

Or was he? 

A hint of doubt slithered its way into her mind. Aside from their brief encounter following staff meeting on Monday morning, during which he’d informed them of Frank’s injury and his subsequent request for leave, he had yet to mention it. In fact, he’d given no inclination at all that he even remembered it. Did he want to back out, not knowing how to tell her?

‘Yeah, but you’ve barely been at Headquarters, remember?’ her conscience supplied. 

It wasn’t an incorrect statement, she reasoned. She was only working three half-days a week, her time relegated between off-site investigations or the office. He was still juggling a full caseload, in addition to extra duties resulting from her family care leave. So it was to be expected both were swamped. Their interactions, whenever they encountered each other, were sporadic and centered upon work. When she’d bumped into him in the breakroom earlier that morning, he hadn’t said a word, even after the Admiral had wished him success in getting them moved in. Harm had expressed appreciation for the time off, considering they were already short-staffed, to which AJ merely waved him off with a gruff, “Family comes first”. Even so, he hadn’t breathed a word about the approaching evening.

But then again, it was the Admiral; she knew Harm well enough to know he kept his personal business out of the office, if it could be avoided.  
He wasn’t hoping she’d forgotten about it, was he?

‘Quit creating scenarios that don’t exist, Mackenzie! Harm’s a man of his word. Have you ever known him not to keep his word?’ 

She pondered this for a moment, and after comforting herself with this rationale, she waved the nagging thought away like a pesky gnat. The last thing she wanted to argue with was her conscience.

“Ma’am? Are you riding down?”

The sudden vocal intrusion startled her. She looked up to find a young Lieutenant J.G. holding the elevator doors open, an inquisitive look overtaking his sharp features.

She quickly nodded, stepping into the chamber. “Yes, forgive me, Lieutenant. My mind was elsewhere”. She flashed an apologetic smile and motioned towards the courtroom as if to offer explanation. “Long day”. 

“No worries, ma’am”. He set down his briefcase to introduce himself. “Lieutenant J.G. Williamson. I’m applying for the internship program here at JAG. I’m scheduled to interview with an Admiral A.J….” he glanced at the paper in his left hand, “Cheg…".

“Chegwidden” she supplied, chuckling softly. “It gets even the best of us”. She returned his handshake. “Lieutenant Colonel Sarah Mackenzie”. The doors dinged, signaling the arrival to the bottom floor. “I’m heading that way, if you would like to follow. My office is next door to the Admiral’s”. 

“Yes ma’am, thank you. I would appreciate that”. 

She regarded him with a look of amusement mixed with fondness. It was obvious that he was apprehensive, and it reminded her of how she’d felt the first day she’d stepped foot in the Admiral’s office. He’d sounded quite intimidating during the phone interviews leading up to her official appointment, but standing in front of him was an entirely different matter. His reputation of being a hard-ass preceded him across all branches, leaving her quite anxious on what to expect after receiving word of her new assignment. Thankfully, her assignment at JAG had turned out to be far better than she could have imagined. 

“You’ll be alright, Lieutenant. He’s quite amenable. Except when the Dodgers lose. Then it’s a different story”. She laughed as the doors opened, and as per senior officer protocol, she exited first. 

“I hear congratulations are in order, Mac. Nice job on closing arguments”. Sturgis commented, falling into step with them when they rounded the corner and passed thru the double glass doors that opened into the bullpen.

“Thank you, Sturgis,” she stopped outside her office to introduce the young Lieutenant. “Lieutenant J.G. Williamson, this is Lieutenant Commander Sturgis Turner. He’s here to meet with the Admiral regarding the internship position”. 

Sturgis accepted the man’s handshake. “Ah yes, I heard Petty Officer Coates mention your name this morning. She’ll get you taken care of,” he gestured towards Coates’ desk. “Good luck”. 

“Yes sir, thank you. And thank you ma’am. I appreciate the advice”. The young man tipped his head in a show of respect and made out for the Admiral’s office across the bullpen. 

Sturgis followed Mac into her office. “So, any big plans this weekend?”

Mac deposited her briefcase on the desk, grateful that he couldn’t see her face. It gave her a moment to collect herself. She really didn’t know what to say, especially to Sturgis...she didn’t know how much she could trust him. 

He couldn’t know, could he?

He could be rather nosy at times…

With this at the forefront of her thoughts, Mac chose to hold her cards close. “Um, no…no, not really. You?” 

“Same here. I was going to see if Harm was available tonight for some basketball or a round of pool at McMurphy’s”. He propped his tall frame against the doorjamb, watching her with mild amusement while she puttered about the office. Based on the fact he’d accidentally overheard Harm making a phone call for dinner reservations that weekend, and he’d dropped his Corvette off to be detailed, Sturgis was willing to bet solid money his buddy already had big plans for the evening. Plans that most certainly did not involve basketball. Or McMurphy’s. Or him, for that matter. Could it be the old lug was finally fulfilling the promise he’d made on the Patrick Henry?

He could only hope…

Mac’s heart skittered in her chest and she busied herself with gathering a stack of case folders that suddenly needed to be filed.

He hasn’t backed out on me, has he? Is that why he didn’t say anything in the breakroom this morning?

‘Stop it Mackenzie! How would Sturgis know Harm has dinner plans with you tonight?’

“Oh?” she managed to ask, turning to open the filing cabinet with one hand while juggling the stack with the other. The death grip she had on the heavy folders helped to disguise her shaky hands. 

“Here, let me get that”. Sturgis reached to open the top drawer, relieving her of some of the folders. “I had to give him a ride to work today”.  
Mac’s head snapped up at this, an element of concern clouding her delicate features. “A ride? Is everything ok?”

Sturgis fought the urge to laugh at the situation. She couldn’t think he was this obtuse, did she? “As far as I know, it is. He’s having his ‘Vette detailed. I didn’t think he drove it much, considering what happened a few years ago”. He finished filing the case folders and moved to exit the office, pausing at the threshold. “At any rate, we’re leaving here in a few minutes so he can pick it up. You need me to sign anything on the Hadley case before I go?” 

Mac was quiet for a moment as the information permeated her brain. 

‘See?’, her conscience whispered, ‘You’re overreacting. He’s probably getting it detailed so it will be clean for tonight!’

An inexplicable surge of relief coursed through her and she shook her head. “Ah, no. I, uh, I need to finish writing up my recommendations. I’ll get that from you on Monday, if that’s okay?” She flashed him a smile in the hopes he wouldn’t notice her uncharacteristic anxiousness. 

“Yeah, no big deal,” he shrugged, “enjoy your weekend, Mac”. He tapped the doorframe in farewell on his way out, chuckling to himself. Something was definitely going on! Fortunately, there was a whole twenty minute drive with Harm during which he could put his interrogation skills to use. 

“You too,” she called out after him, but her words were swallowed by the hum of office equipment outside her door. Shutting the filing drawer, she splayed her hands in front of her: they were still trembling. 

‘Get a grip Mackenzie!’ 

With a sigh, Mac glanced across the bullpen into her partner’s office, noting his head was bent studiously over a tower of files that nearly hid him. The knowledge that her absence from work was the cause of his situation made her cringe with guilt. Friday evening was something she had been looking forward to since Matthew’s birthday party, and a part of her sank when he’d explained Frank’s injury and his plans to fly to California to help them over the coming weekend. A part of her was selfish in that she didn’t want to give him up, even for a few days. 

‘Shame on you, Mackenzie! You’re being selfish! Trish and Frank need his help. He’s already bending over backwards to cover your caseload and help you take care of Matthew. Besides, it’s been months since he’s been to see them’. With bitter realization, she admitted her conscience was right. He had been spending most his free time helping her. What more could she ask for?

Realizing she still had to close the Hadley trial before she could secure for the day, she pushed her feelings away and forced herself to return her attention to the task at hand. Keeping an eye on the time, she sat down to hastily write up the settlement offer, her thoughts anywhere but on the case.

1500 MT  
Harm’s Office  
JAG HQ  
Falls Church, VA

Sturgis poked his head in Harm’s office, jingling a set of car keys. “It’s 1500 bud. Time to head out. You ready?” 

Momentarily startled, Harm glanced at the clock on his desk, noting that indeed, the hands pointed at three in the afternoon. “Oh! Thanks Sturgis”. He signed the file he’d been working on before tossing it on the growing stack to his left. “I completely lost track of the time.” He came from around his desk to retrieve his coat and cover. “I really appreciate the lift, man”.

“Not a problem. Besides, it gives me a minute to pick your brain over the Sanders case”. He stepped aside so Harm could close up his office. 

“Pick away, my friend”, he chuckled as the two made their way towards the exit, “but I will give you fair warning, my brain is fried from this week”. 

“And that’s different from every week, how?” Sturgis smirked, earning a playful punch in the arm.

Despite serving in the same branch, there was still a healthy dose of rivalry between the two, but at the end of the day, their long-standing friendship always brought them back together. 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

For most of the ride, the two discussed Sturgis’ case involving intent to illegally obtain and disburse scrap military property. His client was charged with both, despite the property having been classified as decommissioned and ready for public disposal. The prosecution’s tentative plea bargain included dishonorable discharge with three years in prison, but Sturgis wanted a lesser sentence. He argued that the military property was not classified nor was it worth any substantial amount of money, and his client was using what little money it would generate to fund his education. It was certainly a stupid mistake, Sturgis wholeheartedly agreed, but it didn’t warrant sending someone with the potential and ambition of his client to the brig. 

The conversation on the case eventually fizzled out, and when the traffic came to a near standstill, Sturgis saw his window of opportunity open up. He threw out his invitation. “Feel like a round of pool and drinks at McMurphy’s tonight before you fly out to Cali?” 

Harm shook his head. “Thanks Sturg, but...uh, I’m going somewhere tonight”.

“Oh?” He eased off the brake when the car in front of him inched forward. “Is that why you’re getting the ‘Vette detailed? You normally keep it so clean I doubt there was much for the shop guys to do”. 

He shrugged nonchalantly, keeping his eyes on the road. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to have this conversation with Sturgis. He wasn’t a superstitious man, but he didn’t want to jinx their opportunity before it even opened. Besides, the less people who knew about their personal lives, the better off they were. “She was due for a good wax job. It’s been awhile since I had one put on her”. 

Sturgis glanced over at him before pressing the accelerator. “You know, I would have helped you with that this weekend. All you had to do was ask”.   
“I, uh, needed it for tonight. But thanks, I appreciate the offer”.

‘Interesting…..’ Sturgis thought silently. He knew his buddy’s circle of friends was fairly small (of his own choosing), and for the most part, he was rather reclusive. There could only be one reason, and one person he’d go to the trouble of detailing his beloved car…

“Soooo…” he trailed off, checking the rearview mirror before switching lanes to exit on Governor’s Drive, “you got the car detailed, you have plans for tonight, and you have dinner reservations, I would assume, for tonight as well”. He couldn’t help suppress the knowing smirk from crossing his face. Oh, he had Harm right where he wanted him! “I don’t imagine a certain Marine would fit somewhere in this equation?” 

Harm cut his eyes over at Sturgis. “Who told you I had dinner reservations?” 

Sturgis had the decency to look embarrassed, and he nervously cleared his throat. “I, uh, accidentally overheard you on the phone the other day”. He hurried to reassure him. “But don’t worry, I was the only one walking by your office at that time”.

A sarcastic snort escaped Harm. “Gee, thanks. That’s really comforting”.

Sturgis ignored his comment. “Now, as I stated earlier, I’m quite sure these plans were made with a certain Marine in mind, hmm?” 

“Naaaah…” he drawled, “I don’t think my romantic gestures would quite measure up to the Gunny’s standards”. He flashed a mischievous smile at Sturgis. “Those Marines are wrapped pretty tight”. 

“Ha ha...very funny Rabb”. He pulled the SUV into the parking lot of the auto-detail shop and put it in park. A moment of reflective silence settled between them.  
“You finally took my advice, huh?”

Harm’s voice took on a nervous edge, and he traced the emblem of the insignia on his cover. “Yeah, I...asked her out to dinner. Nothing too serious; I don’t want to rush or overwhelm her. She’s got enough on her plate right now. I don’t want to mess up. She’s too important”.

Sturgis reviewed this information briefly before agreeing. “I can certainly understand that”. He looked at him. “Seriously though, Harm, I’m glad you are taking that step. Took you long enough!”

He gave a quiet laugh. “Tell me about it”. He stepped out of the vehicle, pausing to hold the door open. “Keep this to yourself, please. And thanks…..for everything,” he gestured at the passenger seat he’d just vacated, “not just the ride”. 

Moving the gear shift to drive, he smiled. “It’s your story to tell, man. But I do expect a full report when you get back” 

Harm grinned, but just before he shut the door, he snapped off a mock salute. “Aye aye, Commander”.

As Sturgis pulled away, he couldn’t help the big grin that enveloped his face. Finally, they were taking that step! Finally, they were beginning to see what everyone else saw so clearly. 

Finally…it looked like their time had come. 

1745 MT  
Mac’s Apartment Complex  
Georgetown, VA

“Alright, Uncle Matt. Give me the once-over. Make sure I look okay.” She twirled around in place, checking herself in the mirror across the room. 

“You get my seal of approval” he patted the space beside him on the bed, indicating her to sit. She obliged, careful not to wrinkle her dress. “You are one beautiful lady. Harm is lucky to have you”.

Compliments were always hard for her to take, especially after so many years of being called everything but a child of God by her alcoholic father. She glanced away, a fierce tinge of red crossing her face. “Thanks, Uncle Matt”. 

He tipped her chin towards him in soft admonishment. “Look a person in the eyes when you’re given a compliment, Sarah. You’ve got to work on your self-esteem. Otherwise, the world will think you’re weak. It will eat you alive”. 

She wrapped her fingers around his wrist where he held her chin captive. “I know, Uncle Matt. It’s just…hard…you know? It’s hard to forget all the things Joe said to me…called me....all those years”.

A pained expression crossed his face at her admission. The damage Joe Mackenzie had inflicted upon his niece was deep, and this knowledge made Matthew’s insides boil with anger. He wanted nothing more than to dig the deceased man up just so he could beat him to a pulp. “I do, Sarah. But it’s important that you know your self-worth and embrace it. Don’t ever let anyone put a price tag on you”. 

A knock interrupted their moment, causing Mac to glance at it with anxious hesitation. Her pulse lept, lighting all of her nerves on fire. 

Matthew nudged her gently in the ribs. “Everything you could ever want in life is waiting for you on the other side of that door”. He lovingly shooed her off the bed. “Now, remember what I said”.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

SAME TIME, SAME LOCATION

The freshly washed and detailed vintage Corvette sat quietly in the parking space, with one very nervous naval aviator-turned-JAG lawyer anxiously rubbing the steering wheel in a fruitless effort to settle his nerves. He double checked the arrangements hastily written down on a piece of scrap paper: ‘1830. Ask for Stefan’. Earlier in the week, he’d called up a friend to request help in securing a spot at the quaint restaurant on the banks of the river. Without reservations, it was almost guaranteed to be packed. Thankfully, his friend had been more than willing to help, and had set up a nice table in the far back of the restaurant, away from the prying eyes and noise of other patrons. 

Harm pocketed the car keys, taking a measured step in the direction of the complex door, but doubled back upon realizing he’d left her wrist corsage on the passenger seat. A dainty cluster of red carnations, yellow roses, with a tiny sprig of baby’s breath, the beautiful ensemble was tied together by silver ribbon. After seeing how much she enjoyed the bouquet he’d given her at Matthew’s birthday party, he’d decided to order her a special corsage for their first date. He cursed his nerves for causing him to nearly forget it. 

With the wristlet now in hand, he made his way into the building, opting to take the stairs instead of the elevator. He just didn’t think his nerves would allow him to be still, plus it gave him the opportunity to rid himself of the nervous energy that settled in every muscle of his body. In the blink of an eye, it seemed, he found himself standing in front of her door. The three inch slab of wood suddenly transformed into an impenetrable force. He swallowed thickly, mustering up the courage to deliver three sharp raps to the lacquered surface. 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 

A few seconds rolled by before Harm heard the turn of a lock, then the door opened, revealing his beautiful Marine.

Her face brightened at the sight of him. “Hey flyboy! Come on in. I just need to put my wrap on and make sure he’s settled. Then I’ll be ready”. 

Harm shook his head in absent understanding, unable to speak as his gaze swept the length of her. She wore a lacey dark blue, sleeveless dress that seemed to fit her like a glove, accentuating her delicate curves while still leaving something to the imagination. The delicate material fell just above her knees, and a pair of dainty black heels hugged her feet. The dress was beautiful. Her hair was beautiful. She was beautiful. His mouth suddenly felt as dry as the Sahara desert.

‘Oh Sarah….you are so beautiful….’

His mind wandered into a filmy haze, his body frozen in place while his eyes roamed over. Mac had always been a beautiful woman, no doubt, but with her standing there in a dress that fit like a second skin, it threatened to send his already erratic pulse into overdrive. He fought to reclaim control over his breathing. 

She quirked an eyebrow in signature fashion, an impish smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. “You, uh…holding the door hostage?”

“Huh?” The faint lines on his forehead scrunched together in confusion. He couldn’t seem to tear his eyes away. 

What was it she had just said? 

“The door, Harm”. She pointed with one hand, her other hand clutching the woolen material of her wrap. “It’s wide open. You’ve been standing out there for twenty-five seconds. You ok?” 

Her words finally penetrated through the fog that esconsced him. 

“Oh! Uh...yeah. Sorry”. He stepped across the threshold, flashing an apologetic smile. Noticing her struggle to fasten the closure of her shoulder wrap, he placed a hand on her arm. “Here, let me help you with that”.

From across the room, Matthew sighed with contentment, pleased with how the two of them seemed to be working their way towards each other. If only he could live long enough to see them get married. At least he could pass with peace, taking comfort in knowing that she would be ok. 

“I only ask you have her home at a decent hour, Harm. But most importantly, enjoy the evening and behave yourselves”. 

Mac crossed the room and, with a smile, leaned down to kiss his cheek. “I can’t make any promises, especially with him,” she jerked her thumb playfully in Harm’s direction, “in the mix. But I’ll do my best. Do you need anything before I go?”

“No. And don’t you be calling every half hour to check on me, either”. He adjusted the pillow underneath his head before grabbing the remote from the nightstand. “Now, if you don’t mind, my crime show is about to come on. I don’t wanna miss it. You kids have a good time!” 

“Alright then,” she fussed over him, smoothing the bed covers, “if you need-“

“Yes, yes, I’ll be sure to call you.” He cut her off, shooing her hands away. “But I won’t. So get outta here!” He jerked his head over her shoulder. “Besides, I believe your date has something for you”. 

Puzzled, Mac turned to face Harm, her eyes falling to the delicate corsage in his hand. 

“I figured since you liked the flowers I got you last week, maybe you’d like this, too?”. He removed the small bundle of flowers from the box, then motioned for her left wrist so he could carefully slide it on. His touch sent a delicious wave of goosebumps down her arm, and she felt her heart tremble in her chest. “It’s red carnations and yellow spray roses”. He nestled her wrist in the palm of his left hand while he pointed out each flowers’ significance. “Red carnations symbolize admiration. I admire your strength, your heart, and the kindness you show others.” He moved to the yellow roses. “The yellow rose symbolizes friendship and joy. Having you in my life brings me so much happiness, and I’m so grateful for you. Every single day”. He squeezed her hand, hoping his words and his eyes conveyed what he felt in his heart. “And the ribbon represents our partnership that ties us together”. 

Her eyes were suspiciously shiny as she took in his every word. She fingered the petals with admiration and they shared a tender look. “Oh Harm, it’s beautiful….thank you”. She kissed his cheek softly, then turned to face her uncle. 

“You two need to be getting on the road or else you’ll miss your reservations”.

Satisfied that Matthew appeared settled for the evening, she took Harm’s proffered arm, and the two quickly were on their way. 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The wind nipped at her bare legs the moment they walked out the apartment complex doors. Her eyes eagerly sought out his SUV, but it was nowhere to be found. She turned to voice the question of its whereabouts, but stopped short when she saw it. 

Gleaming brightly from its fresh wax job, his vintage Corvette sat proudly waiting for its driver and date. 

‘What did I tell you, Mackenzie?’ her conscience nudged her, an aire of smug satisfaction lacing the edges. She couldn’t contain the small laugh that escaped her, and he turned to her with a questioning look. 

She only smiled brightly, unwilling to give voice to the ridiculous fears that had plagued her that morning. 

Ever the gentleman, he opened the car door, ensuring she was buckled in safely. The residual heat from when he’d parked it just minutes prior was not quite enough to prevent the chill already creeping into the interior. She clasped her hands together, blowing on them in an attempt to warm them. Another blast of icy air blew in when he assumed his position at the steering wheel. He cranked the engine, then quickly turned the heat on full-blast. 

“So,” she asked, placing her hands in front of the vents, “where are we going tonight?”

He fastened his own seatbelt before shifting the Corvette in gear, deftly maneuvering it out into the busy street. “A good friend of mine owns this really nice restaurant on the riverbank”. He cast an anxious glance in her direction in an attempt to gauge her reaction, then shifted his eyes back to the road when the traffic began to move. “I think you’ll like it; it’s quaint and charming.” 

His thoughtfulness touched her heart. 

When was the last time anyone went to the trouble to plan something special for her?

She laid a gentle hand on his arm in reassurance. “I know I will love whatever you have planned”. 

Despite the thick layer of his clothing, he felt her touch, and it warmed him intently. He cleared his throat, changing the topic of conversation. “I heard about your win in court today. If you keep this up, you may just find yourself sitting on the other side of the bench’”. He checked the side mirrors before switching lanes for the downtown exit. 

Mac shook her head in disagreement. “I wouldn’t go that far, but just the same, thank you”.

He slowed the car in response to a yellow-to-red traffic light, taking the opportunity to face her. “Don’t sell yourself short, Mac. You’re a brilliant lawyer. Besides, someone has to take over once Admiral Morris retires, which is not too long from now. Choosing you would be a no-brainer”. 

Completely caught off-guard, she could only stare at him, her brain struggling to process his words. 

Since when had he been paying attention to her track record in the courtroom? 

“I’m not so sure others feel the same, Harm. My service history isn’t exactly what would be considered squeaky clean. I’ve messed up. Alot...” she hesitated, focusing her attention to the passing scenery. 

‘Harm’s right. You know the law better than anyone in that office, you’ve gone up against the brass more than once and won. Admiral Morris did mention last spring that he would be looking to map out candidates by the end of the year….’

‘You’ve messed up too much, Mackenzie. You’ve got too many black stains on your record,’ her inner voice lectured. ‘There’s no way in hell Admiral Chegwidden, let alone Admiral Morris, would think you’re qualified, or even deserving, of such a high-esteemed position’. 

‘Remember what Uncle Matt told you….’ 

Harm’s voice broke through her thoughts. “I’d choose you”.

The words fell softly into the expanse between them, but he might as well have dropped a rock on her feet with the impact they had. He risked a glance in her direction, then returned his attention to the traffic that moved disjointedly in front of them. 

“Thank you, Harm. That...really means alot”. 

He grasped her hand within his, squeezing it gently. They fell into companionable silence as the ‘Vette travelled the road running parallel to the shore, both hearts hammering madly in anticipation of what the night would bring. 

1900  
Satyendrah’s   
Falls Church, VA

The restaurant was tucked off the shoreline, overlooking the bay with its rows of sailboats and watercraft dotting the harbor. A path of dangling Edison-style lightbulbs illuminated the boardwalk leading down to the docks, and the boats quietly bobbed up and down in the undulating water. The sun had begun its descent over the horizon, its fading light dancing off the water’s surface. A few residents were milling about, busily tying off their watercraft, unloading fishing nets, and the like.

Upon their entrance, they were greeted by a sharply dressed maitre D’ who whisked them away to a secluded area in the back. Watching the sunset from her vantage point would be beautiful, undoubtedly, and she took in the ambiance of their surroundings with a sense of awed reverence. The maître D’ came back with menus, laying one in front of Mac first, then Harm. 

“Would you be interested in hearing our two entrée specials tonight?

Both nodded in agreement, their mouths already watering. 

“Tonight, our first special is a Tilapia dish, fresh from the bay. Our fish is marinated in a homemade zesty lemon sauce, then baked in a coating of pine nuts. It is served on a bed of locally grown arugula with a side of quinoa”. He paused momentarily, allowing them to absorb this information before proceeding. “Our second special is a Montana bison burger topped with Feta-Yogurt Sauce, Tomato, and a sprig of mint. It is served on a brioche bun with a side of grilled pineapple drizzled in a cinnamon honey sauce”. 

The maître D’ glanced between the two as he placed linen wrapped cutlery on the table. “I’ll give you some time to look over the menu, then”. He retreated to the kitchen, leaving them to ponder their choices. 

She smirked. “I already know what you’ll be ordering, Mr. Practically-A-Vegetarian”. 

Harm quirked an eyebrow at her, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Oh, is that so?” He flipped the menu over for good measure, pretending to evaluate his options. The salads available certainly looked appetizing, but the Tilapia dish had undoubtedly piqued his taste buds.   
“You can stop pretending. I know good and darn well you’re a fish lover, so unless there’s some ginormous salad on that menu, just say I’m right”. Her eyes sparkled with amusement, and she couldn’t help but laugh when he dropped the menu in mock resignation. 

He tipped his water glass to her before taking a sip. “Do I need to add mind-reading to your list of hidden talents I’ve managed to unearth?” 

Squeezing a lemon into her water, she stuffed it below the surface with her straw, then wiped her hands on the linen napkin. “What list are you talking about? Are there hidden talents I possess that I am not aware of?”

He spread his right hand wide to tick them off. “Well, there’s your ability to tell time without having to look at a watch, you speak four languages, you can field-strip an M-16 in 30 seconds while blindfolded,” he was on the middle finger by this point, “you always seem to know when I enter the room without turning around,” he paused at his thumb, “and, you have this excruciating ability to keep secrets…like where,” he craned his neck to look her over, “that tattoo of yours is”. 

She rolled her eyes in fake exasperation. “Five years on and you just won’t let that go, will you?”

“Oh believe me, five years or not, I’m going to find it”. 

The words and insinuation behind them slipped out before he could check them. 

‘Oh, shit’

A blush stole across her face, but her eyes never left his, even as he glanced away, embarrassed of what he’d said, but also fearful of what he would see in her eyes. Disgust? Disappointment?

She swallowed thickly, and her voice held a soft tremor when she finally cleared it enough to speak. “I look forward to that day, sailor”.

Harm could have sworn his heart dropped straight to his toes at her comment and the look in her eyes. It both terrified him as much as it excited it…..because the look in her eyes most certainly wasn’t disappointment or disgust. 

He opened his mouth to tell her he felt the same...or at least something along those lines, when the maître D’ chose to return at that moment, severing the intimate moment. “Ma’am, Sir, are we ready to order?”

Momentarily caught off guard, Harm scanned the menu absentmindedly. 

What was it he had planned to order?

“Uh, yeah. I think so. Mac? Ladies first”.

Mac nodded quickly, tearing her eyes away from her handsome partner. The way he was looking at her threatened to drive the very breath from her body. She needed something to occupy her attention, quickly! 

“I’d like to order the Bison Burger, please”. The request flowed off her tongue as though she hadn’t just swallowed it a moment prior. She stacked the menu on top of Harm’s, looking at him with amused expectation. “Would you like for me to order for you?”

He rolled his eyes in her reference to their previous conversation while he handed the menus back to the maître D. “I’ll have the Tilapia special,” he shot Mac a pointed look, who smirked with amusement, “please”. 

The maître D’ recorded their choices in his notebook, then tucked the menus underneath his arm. “I’ll put those orders in for you, and I’ll return momentarily with a special appetizer of grilled zucchini caprese,” he nodded towards the kitchen, “compliments of the owner”. 

Mac’s stomach chose at that moment to protest its lack of contents, causing Harm to break out in laughter. “That would be wonderful, thank you. We don’t want her to waste away into the ocean”. 

The maître D’ nodded and left the two of them alone once again.

She lightly kicked Harm under the table.

“Ow!” he exclaimed in mock protest, making a great deal of rubbing his shin. “What was that for?”

“For making fun of me and my appetite, you big lug”. 

A grin crossed his face. “Well, if the shoe fits, wear it. Of course,” he peered underneath the table at her feet, “in your case, that would be combat boots”.   
Her laughter skipped across the table between them, and for the first time in weeks, their hearts felt as light as a feather. 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

MUCH, MUCH LATER

Shortly after the entree dishes were taken away, the chocolate mousse dessert exhaustively relished, and the sprig of mint cleansed their palettes, Harm had grown increasingly hungry for more.

Just not food.

Over the course of the evening, he’d found himself unable to keep from staring at her, every movement she made capturing his attention, each word she spoke filtering in his ears like a soothing melody. He could feel the air shifting between them as the night wore on, and he swore to himself it would not end without her knowing how he felt. It may not come out the way he’d imagined, but nevertheless, his feelings would be known. The wall of suffocation pressed against him.   
“You really look nice tonight,” he stammered, inwardly cursing his lack of eloquence. “I mean, not that you don’t always look nice. Because you do. But tonight…..”, his voice lost its confidence, and he left the sentence floating in the air. Why was it that every time he went to say what was in his heart, the words froze in his brain, or they tumbled out haphazardly, falling over themselves such that they threatened to misconstrue the intended message? He couldn’t ever recall being this nervous on a date.

‘Except none of them were with Mac’.

He shook his head in tired frustration. He was tired. Tired of metaphors, of double talk, of misconstrued feelings. Tired of letting fear control his fate. What was it Sturgis had said to him on the Patrick Henry? That she was worth the risk? 

A look of determination crossed his face and he wrestled his fear back into its cage. He swallowed the lump in his throat. 

‘To hell with it….’

“You really are a beautiful woman, Sarah”

Mac flushed red with embarrassment at his sentiments. She averted her eyes in a sense of unworthiness, the forlorn beast of inadequacy rearing its ugly head once more. 

But Harm wouldn’t have any of it. He reached across the short expanse between them, lifted her chin, and looked into her eyes. “I mean it. Every word”. 

This time, she held his gaze, her eyes sparkling in the low candle light. “Thank you, Harm. You look very handsome, too. I’ve always loved you in green”. 

Her words warmed him to the bottom of his soul, and, it went without saying, his ego. He’d have to remember to wear green more often. Had she told him once before, and he hadn’t been listening? He was certainly listening now.

A comfortable silence fell once again, both searching each other’s eyes for words unspoken. 

And it was then that Harm recognized the song playing over the restaurant’s speakers. He’d heard it a thousand times before, even had it on a playlist of favorites, but never really paid attention to the lyrics, nor how they applied to them. 

‘It sure seems to be a pattern of yours, Rabb. You hear, but you don’t listen,’ his conscience pointed out. 

His hands trembled where they gripped his kneecaps, and he tugged at his collar as he worked up the courage to say what was on his mind. Why was it so hard for him to voice his feelings? It’s not like they hadn’t shared a dance before…

‘But this time is different,’ he was reminded. 

He really couldn’t argue there. 

A shy smile tugged at the corner of her mouth, as though she knew what he wanted to ask.

Both spoke at the same time.

“Would you like to dan-?”

“I’d love to-“

They both laughed, faces flushing at the ridiculous awkwardness. And then it was gone, replaced by eager anticipation. He gently took her hand in his, and she followed his lead to a small area just beyond their table. In the wake of the sun’s absence, the harbor lights now shimmered off the water below. He pulled her close, just as he’d done at Matthew’s birthday party, and he fought the urge to crush her against his chest. He didn’t want to overwhelm her, or worse, scare her off, but it felt so damn good to have her back in his arms again. And with each moment that passed, he found himself drowning further into every bit of her that made him love her so much. He tightened his hold around her waist, pressing his face against her silky hair. 

‘Is this my hopeful conversation?  
Are you the unforgetful smile?  
Is there a source of inspiration  
To make this easy for awhile?’

The conversation they’d shared at Matthew’s birthday party gave her hope: hope that there was still a chance, still time. And his smile! She’d always claimed she was immune to it, but the truth was, she was drawn to it like a moth to a flame. Harmon Rabb, Jr was her source of inspiration, to keep going when the waves of life threatened to drown her. Loving him was so easy. He made it easy for her to love, to open her heart again. He made it easy for a while, to forget about her uncle’s impending departure, to forget about all the grief that would come in the wake of his passing. 

‘You say you found your destination  
A place to mend your broken smile  
Are you still waiting for salvation  
To make this easy for awhile?  
To get easy for awhile’

Sarah Mackenzie was his destination, where his heart called home, where he felt that all was right in a world full of so many wrongs. She was the place to mend his broken smile when the forces of life ripped it apart. She was his salvation in so many ways. Sarah made his life, and loving her, incredibly easy.   
“You know, I’ve been thinking back to the time we first met, when the Admiral introduced us. Do you remember that?” 

She gave a quiet laugh against his shoulder. “Of course I do. You looked at me like I grew three heads”. A regretful sigh escaped her before she could catch it. “I remember you looked disappointed, as though you were expecting your new partner to be someone else”. 

The memory of their first meeting was forever burned into her memory. The look on his face was one she’d had difficulty deciphering. She often wondered if it was disappointment, or disgust that he was feeling during those first pivotal moments. 

“Well,” he admitted, “I was a little surprised that the Admiral partnered me with a woman”. The instant the words left his mouth, he cringed. “I’m sorry Mac, that came out wrong”.

She shook her head with assurance. She knew what he meant. “No worries”.

He continued. “The Admiral was cagey with the details, so I didn’t know what to expect. To be honest, I was dreading a new partner. All my past experiences with Marines have been, well,” he paused, considering his next words carefully, “let’s just say they’ve been far from enjoyable”.

An element of surprise crossed her face. She pulled back to look at him. “Really? You never told me”. 

“I know. I didn’t want to start us out on the wrong foot, but it seems like I did anyways”

She knitted her brow in confusion. “I don’t follow”.

A rueful smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. “I almost didn’t shake your hand”.

“Ohhhh. That.” She fell silent, contemplating that moment.

‘How many times a day do you feel that heavy weight?  
How many times a night do you close your eyes?  
How many cigarettes does it take you just to get  
Easy for awhile’

Mac felt the weight of their first meeting on her heart, wondering how many times he closed his eyes and saw Diane when he should have been seeing her. Was Diane an addiction? Like a cigarette to a smoker? Did she make it easy for him to forget Diane was gone?

‘(Take your time)  
How many times a day do you feel that heavy weight?  
(It's a long forgotten road)  
How many times a night do you close your eyes?  
(Take your time)  
How many cigarettes does it take you just to get  
(It's a long forgotten road)  
Easy for awhile’

She wondered, had he not been involved with Diane, would their relationship be different? She wondered if he’d forgotten about the road they could have taken that night on the docks of Norfolk. It was one of the many turning points that presented itself in their relationship, and yet, she went in one direction, he, always another. She wondered if he had any idea as to the number of times she closed her eyes, replaying that bittersweet kiss. In that moment, it was easy to forget that she was not being kissed as Sarah Mackenzie, but as Diane Shonke. 

“Mac, I feel like I need to clear the air. I want you to know, I’ve never once held your resemblance to Diane against you”.

She gave a slight shake of her head, her hair flitting with the movement. There was no need for an apology. She understood, more than he gave credit. She moved her hand upwards to rest on his shoulder. “I know. And I know it couldn’t have been easy seeing me every day and having to remind yourself that I wasn’t her”. A quiet moment passed while she gathered the courage to say what was on her mind. 

‘Time to be honest. To hell with it’.

“Didn’t you ever wonder why I was so aloof? Why I kept my distance? Why I was so hard on you in the beginning?”

He paused momentarily, giving thought to her question. “Yeah, come to think of it, I did. But, I just assumed that was your personality. They teach us not to get close to others in the military, regardless of the branch of service. I thought you were doing just that”. 

She shook her head. “No, not at all”

If her response surprised him any, he didn’t show it. Instead, he searched her eyes for whatever truths she seemed to want to reveal. He felt, whatever she was about to say, was going to take a monumental level of confidence.

“That’s not me, Harm.” Her voice was soft, and she focused on a spot just over his shoulder. “That’s the shield I put up, to keep people away. To keep from getting hurt, or, in your case, to keep from hurting you”. 

He arched an eyebrow in confusion. “Mac, forgive me for being obtuse, but you’ve lost me”. 

‘How many times a day do you feel that heavy weight?  
How many times a night do you close your eyes?  
How many cigarettes does it take you just to get  
Easy for awhile’

She took a deep breath, gathering the courage to let the weight of her secret fall away, to give up the comfort zone that made it...easy for awhile. “When you looked at me that first moment, I saw in your eyes what I’ve seen so many times before. I was reminding you of something awful, like I was this mistake, or some horrible joke that was being played on you. And especially after I found out about Diane…it just gutted me to know I was a constant reminder. I guess,” she shook her head, “I reasoned if I found ways to make you dislike me, you wouldn’t feel so much resentment. And maybe you’d ask the Admiral to have me reassigned”. 

Her revelations crashed over him like a bucket of ice water, leaving him utterly dumbfounded. How in the world could she ever think that? She had to know what she meant to him. She had to know her value. She just had to. 

She continued, snapping him from his state of shock. “From the moment I was born, Harm, I’ve managed to mess up so many people’s lives. My parents, Eddy’s, Dalton’s, Farrow’s. And the more I worked with you, and the more I fell in-“ she stopped short of the admission, “I just couldn’t let you be another victim. It would tear me up to know I had ruined your life”.

‘(Take your time)  
How many times a day do you feel that heavy weight?  
(It's a long forgotten road)  
How many times a night do you close your eyes?  
(Take your time)  
How many cigarettes does it take you just to get  
(It's a long forgotten road)  
Easy for awhile’

Harm’s mind sagged with the weight of her words, and the dark message they carried. Had she really thought, all this time, that she was worth nothing more than the paper used to print her birth certificate? He closed his eyes in disgust, wondering just how many people had trampled all over her heart. Nevertheless, the road to change, long forgotten, opened up to him once more. It was time to blaze a new path for her, for them. It was time to set the record straight on her self-worth. Convincing her of her worth wouldn’t be easy, not for awhile, but loving her was worth it the effort. She was worth it. 

“Ma-Sarah,” he began, letting go of her waist and grasping both hands within his. “Your parents, and your parents alone, were responsible for their lives turning out the way they did. The same goes for Eddy. He was the one who chose to drink and drive that night. Dalton was simply at the wrong place at the wrong time; never mind the fact he never respected you the way you deserved. As far as Farrow is concerned, he knew exactly what he was doing. And if I recall correctly, he openly acknowledged it and had no regrets”. He took a deep breath before continuing. “And as far as I’m concerned….I want to be a part of your life. I want to be in your life. Always. Nothing could ever change what I feel for you”. 

There. He’d said it. Maybe not as eloquent as he had hoped, but he’d said it just the same. He’d taken a leap of faith, plunged in with his whole body. He held his breath, waiting for her to speak. 

‘Take your time  
I know you need it  
Take your time  
I know you need it….’

He would wait for her as long as it took. She needed time, he knew, and he would give it to her. 

She spent a long moment studying his words, working to establish an agreement between her mind and her heart that he was being nothing short of honest with her. But still….her demons of low self-worth refused to stay buried. She had to know. 

“And what….what is it that you feel for me?” The question was nothing but a quiet whisper. She watched him carefully, trying to read the myriad of emotions that crossed his face, searching his eyes for the honesty she so desperately needed. 

He stilled their dance, taking her hand to place over his heart, where it skipped and fluttered due to her proximity. She vaguely wondered if he could feel hers doing the same. The way they were pressed so close together, there was no way he couldn’t. It was though their bodies had jumped on the same wavelength.   
Harm’s voice was full of emotion when he finally spoke. “I feel more for you than I could ever express. Could ever say”. He grimaced, frustrated with his inability to say what was in his heart. He touched his forehead to hers. “I’m just not good with words. I’m trying so hard, Sarah, so hard”. He sighed heavily. “I’m sorry”. 

Mac moved her free hand from his shoulder to his cheek, stroking it with butterfly caresses. “It’s okay, Harm, I know”. She affectionately nudged the underside of his chin with her nose, inhaling the familiar scent of his aftershave. “I know what you’re trying to say”. 

Swallowing hard, he leaned into her hand, keeping her other trapped against his chest. “Do you, Sarah?” His voice trembled slightly, its husky undertone sending shivers down her spine. 

“Yes”. 

It was just a singular word, but the message it carried held more volumes than all of the libraries in the world. Harm closed his eyes, reveling in the feel of her touch, her presence, her scent. Her. When he had finally centered himself enough to open them, he found himself swept away by the emotions churning in her doe eyes, and before he realized what he was doing, he lowered his head to gently capture her lips. 

Her heart skittered with the unexpected feeling of his lips upon hers, but with absence of another thought, she responded as though kissing him were second nature. She ran her free hand through his hair, settling it at the base of his neck. 

He paused for a moment, giving her a chance to grow accustomed to the feel of his lips against hers. He moved his hand up to cradle her head as he dared to deepen the kiss, anchoring her in place. Mac shyly granted him access, and he felt, more than heard, the hitch in her breathing when he began to explore her mouth. He savored the taste and feel of her, committing each tortuously sweet moment to memory. It felt incredibly good to hold her in his arms the way he’d always wanted to. Fighting the fear of her backing away lest he loosen his grip on her, he pulled her even closer so that there was not so much as an inch of space between them. And he continued to pour everything he had into kissing her. 

Mac’s heart skipped erratically when she felt his tongue press against the seam of her lips, and she immediately welcomed his advances, allowing him to take the lead. For the first time in her life, she did not feel intimidated, nor pressured, for a man to take control. For the first time in her life, she was pleasantly drowning in everything this man had to offer. She gladly let him take everything and anything he wanted, eager to be a prisoner of his love. 

All too soon, the irritating need for oxygen forced them to break their kiss, and he rested his forehead against hers as they both struggled to regain control over their breathing. He captured her hand once again, placing it back over his racing heart. 

“It’s yours, you know. Always has been”. 

‘(Take your time)  
How many times a day do you feel that heavy weight?  
(Take your time)  
How many times a night do you close your eyes?  
(Take your time)  
How many cigarettes does it take you just to get  
Easy for awhile’

Her eyes glistened with unshed tears. She mickmicked his gesture, his cold hand cool against the heated skin of her chest. Her voice trembled with joyous emotion. 

“Likewise.” 

With that one word uttered, and for the first time since she’d met Harmon Rabb, Jr in the White House Rose Garden so many years ago, the heavy weight of the unknown slipped off her shoulders, falling to the wayside. She closed her eyes once more as the tears slipped down her cheeks. It was so easy….to love him. To be loved by him. 

Oh yes, they took their time. Love made it easy…. for awhile. 

2200 MT  
Mac’s Apartment  
Georgetown, VA

Harm held Mac’s purse for her while she fished the apartment key out, his other hand placed at the small of her back in a protective, yet intimate gesture. Despite their quiet entrance, Matthew stirred in bed, his voice thick with sleep.

“Thank you for bringing her home safely. Did you have a good time?”

He nodded, helping Mac shrug out of her wrap. “We did, and the pleasure was mine, Matthew”. He lingered at the door while she returned her wrap to the closet, then turned her attention back to him. 

“Tonight was one of the best nights I’ve had in a long time, Harm. Thank you for going to so much trouble to get everything set up”. 

“It was no trouble at all, Mac. It was worth every minute”. He ran a hand through the silky locks of her hair before drifting to her shoulder. “I’ll see you Wednesday, okay? But you call me if you need anything. Anything at all. It doesn’t matter”. 

Mac smiled, squeezing his hand gently. “I won’t, but I appreciate the offer. Enjoy the weekend with your mom and Frank. Tell them I said hi”. 

“I sure will. They’ll be tickled to hear from you, especially Mom”. He stalled at the threshold; he really did not want to leave. In fact, his heart ached at the very realization of being 3,000 miles, two time zones, and seven states away from her in just a matter of hours. But he’d already promised his help, and he was a man of his word. Besides…Frank had already paid for his tickets despite Harm’s stout objections.

Sensing his hesitation and feeling the need to break the anxiousness, she stepped closer to lay a gentle hand against the side of his face. “I’ll be fine. We’ll be fine. Go!” She gave him a playful shove towards the door. “You still have to pack, mister”.  
He laughed as he stepped out into the empty hallway, lingering just beyond the threshold. “Mac, it’s not like I’m going away for two weeks. I don’t need to pack the whole apartment”.  
“I know,” she countered, “but it’s approaching 2300, and you’ve got an early flight. You won’t have much time to pack or sleep if you keep hanging around here”.  
“What, are you trying to get rid of me, ninjagirl? Is my company that bad?” He winked to let her know he was teasing.

“I just know how long it takes the Navy to get ready, flyboy. Which is why they usually send the Marines in first”.

“You wound me”. He placed a hand over his heart in a mock display of pain. 

“Get outta here, before I kick you out!” she grinned, standing on tip-toe to plant a soft kiss on his cheek. She really did not want him to leave, but she knew he needed a break from work as well as helping with Matthew’s care. Not to mention, based on what he’d shared about Frank’s accident, they needed his help right now more than she did. 

“I will, I promise”. He cupped her cheek, and, mindful of her uncle’s presence just feet away, he pressed a tender kiss against her lips. “Goodnight, ninjagirl,” he said softly, then started down the hallway towards the elevator. 

“Harm!”

Upon hearing her voice, he turned to face her, an inquisitive look crowding his handsome features. “Yeah?”

The words caught in her throat, unable to force their way out despite her mind screaming at her to say them. Her confidence waffling, she opted for the second most important phrase in her vocabulary, one reserved for those she cared deeply for. “Please, be careful”.

A solemn look passed over his face at her request. He nodded firmly. “Always. You have my word”. He gave her a soft smile, then stepped into the elevator, the doors closing them off from each other.

Mac stood there for a long moment, fighting back an inexplicable wave of tears. Her lips still tingled from where they’d made brief contact with his. Watching him walk away made the insecure part of her feel like he was leaving for good. 

‘Mac, he’s only going to be gone for a few days! Get yourself together!’

But to her, a few days seemed like an eternity. 

The ache was almost unbearable, and she wondered if he felt the same way. After their kiss at the restaurant, and the way he seemed to see right through to her soul, there was no way he couldn’t. She shut the door with profound resignation, struggling to surreptitiously collect her composure lest Matthew see her upset. But he was all-too wise, and he knew her far better than she realized. 

“He’ll be back soon, Sarah. And it will be as though you were never apart.” Matthew called out softly. 

Fighting the tears back, Mac settled herself, albeit restlessly, on the edge of his bed. She picked at a thread in the hem of her dress, feeling her uncle’s careful scrutiny upon her. She wasn’t quite sure what to do with, or how to process her feelings; all that she did know was that she felt more for him than she could ever fully express. Not to mention their kiss…it certainly left no doubts in her mind as to how much he wanted her, desired her, and more than just in a sexual nature.   
Seeing her brow furrowed in concentration as she deliberated on what to say, Matthew chose to remain quiet. It was quite obvious as to her feelings, and how much his leaving was affecting her. 

She risked a glance in his direction, her eyes full of unshed tears. The words tumbled out in a whisper, as though she were afraid to voice them too loudly, as if Harm might hear them and run away. “I love him, you know”.

A relationship with him couldn’t help but raise questions, those world-weary demons whispering self-doubt, self-worth......encouraging her to stay on the sidelines. She replayed the evening’s events in her head, wondering why it took them so long to take the next step. As many questions that were answered that night, it seemed they were replaced with more. Could it be so easy? Could it be they were finally on the same sheet of music? Would she be enough for him? She was unsure. They had been thru so much, come so far, fought so many battles both together and apart, that it didn’t seem possible for them to have anything left.  
“Have you told him?”

His question snapped her out of her reverie, and it took her a moment to recover from the surprise. She absentmindedly twirled her Marine Corps ring around her finger. “I’m….not really sure how to”. 

A low chuckle escaped him, despite the despondent look on her face. “Sarah, last time I checked, it’s called, ‘How to Say I Love You’”.  
“Easy for you to say,” she said with a sarcastic laugh, shaking her head at her uncle’s impressive sense of ease. They were just three words, but oh the weight they carried! When one really stopped to think of all the implications those “three little words” brought, well, they didn’t seem so little anymore. And therein lay the problem. 

‘One day at a time, Mackenzie. One step at a time’. 

“Soooo……” Matthew changed gears, bringing a lighter tone to the conversation, “you haven’t said how the date was”.

A grin crossed her face at the memory of the evening, and that kiss. Oh that kiss! “It was….nice”. 

“What did you have? Anything French?”

Mac shook her head. “No, he took me to a nice steak and seafood place. I had one of their burger specials”.   
“What about French onion soup?” 

“No. Just the burger. And this fantastic chocolate mousse, it was to die for!” she gushed. A devoted lover of anything chocolate, the dessert was nothing less than scrumptious, and she’d made Harm promise to take her back there in the near future. 

He smirked. “You sure you didn’t have a French dish?”

Again, she shook her head. She was really confused. What was he talking about?

“French souffle? French fries?”

Puzzled as to where he was going with this, she peered at him curiously. “No…..nothing French...”

“French kiss?” he finally volunteered, unable to contain the boisterous laugh that escaped him upon the look of shock that captured her face.

“Uncle Matt! Oh my word!” she exclaimed, her face turning at least three different shades of red at his comment….and the memory of Harm’s lips on hers. A devious smirk tugged at her mouth when she’d finally managed to recover. “Don’t you know any Marine worth their insignia never tells a secret?” 

“Sarah, honey…it’s so obvious you might as well have it written across your face,” he grinned. “It’s about damn time you two get on the same sheet of music”.   
A solemn look settled back on her face, and she looked at him. “You….you really think...you really think we have a chance, Uncle Matt?”

The conviction was strong in his voice. “Without a doubt, I do”. 

She wrapped her arms around him, burying her face against his shoulder. “I sure do love you, Uncle Matt. With my whole heart”.

He squeezed her as tightly as he could and dropped a quick kiss on her hairline. “And I love you too, Sarah. Always”. 

The two stayed that way for a long moment, both wrapped up in their own thoughts. 

It was going to be a long weekend. 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

With every step he took towards the building’s exit, the weight of leaving her behind seemed to grow exponentially. He felt his obligations were pulling him in three different directions, each one vying for his solitary attention: his job, Frank and Trish, Mac. It just never seemed to get any easier. He paused as he opened the door to his vette, fixing his eyes on the curtain-drawn windows of her apartment. For the first time since the mishap case aboard the Patrick Henry, he’d never felt so far away from her than he did in that very moment. It was like a knife to his heart, cutting him completely open. 

“Dammit all!” 

He cursed Frank’s accident, Matthew’s illness, the military regulations, their job schedules. He cursed all the time he’d wasted. He cursed life in general. It seemed the harder he worked to reach her, the more life worked to stand in their way. So many obstacles they’d overcome. So many times they’d cheated death. So many excuses used. 

With a sigh of resignation, he leaned his head against the back of the seat, feeling the burning sensation of tears building in the back of his eyes. He was not normally a praying man, nor a man of faith, but in that moment, he felt he had no option left or cards to play. He sent a silent plea to the Universe, or whatever force he felt seemed to take a sick form of pleasure in keeping them apart. 

‘You’ve taken so much away from both of us, please, just please don’t take our chance away. It’s all we’ve got left’. 

He ran a frustrated hand over his forehead, glanced up once more at the window that had now gone dark, and cranked the engine. 

It was going to be a long weekend.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

1030 MT, PT (Pacific time)  
Saturday Morning  
San Diego International Airport  
La Jolla, CA

Trish Barnett anxiously peered over the throng of travelers meandering their way through the crowded airport, hoping to catch a glimpse of her son. It only took a few seconds to spy his tall frame navigating the channels of people. His height made him easy to spot, and Trish, being of relative short-stature, certainly welcomed the advantages her son’s tall frame allowed. He definitely got it from his father.

Harm scanned the jostling crowd just beyond the arrivals gate sign, and upon seeing Trish and Frank, he immediately changed course to meet up with them. No sooner had he let go of his suitcase handle when his mother enveloped him in a bearhug, having to stand on her toes to reach him. “Hey sweetheart! How was your flight?”

He squeezed her gently while she pressed a quick kiss on his cheek. “It was okay. Sorry about the delay. They had issues with the plane’s air filtration system. We couldn’t board until it was repaired”. 

“Don’t you worry, dear. We were running a little bit behind. The traffic seems to get more hectic the closer we get to the holidays”. She evaluated him with a nod of motherly approval. “Looks like you’re doing well. And we really appreciate the help getting everything moved in”.

“Not a problem, I’m just glad the Admiral let me have the time off”. Keeping his arm around her shoulders, he reached out to shake his stepfather’s hand. “It’s good to see you, Frank. Sorry about your accident”.

Frank offered to take his bag, but the two promptly admonished him, although Trish was the first to voice her objections. “No, Frank, you’re not supposed to use that shoulder for at least three more weeks.” 

“Yes, dear”. Frank rolled his eyes. He was a man who greatly valued his independence, which, of course, directly conflicted with Trish’s tendency to hover. Since his injury, she’d stayed over him like a summer thunderstorm, and it was becoming rather suffocating. He was thankful for Harm’s presence in more ways than one: mostly because they needed his muscle power, but partly because it would give her someone else to mother-hen. 

“No need to roll your eyes, Frank. You know I’m right”. 

“Yes, dear”. 

Trish continued to fuss as she led the trio through the busy airport. “I’m telling you, Harm, it’s been awful getting him follow the doctor’s orders. Won’t listen to a word I have to say. I swear, that man is as stubborn as a mule. If I tell him not to do something, it’s like I’ve thrown down the challenge gauntlet”. She clicked her tongue in dissatisfaction while they rode the escalator down to the bottom floor. “I don’t know why I say a word, I might as well be talking to a bowl of wet noodles”.   
Frank nudged Harm in the ribs, nodding at Trish’s backside. “You see what I’ve had to put up with? It’s enough to worry the horns off a billy goat,” he whispered. “I can’t even take a leak without her hovering outside the door”. 

Harm coughed to cover his laugh. While his mother undoubtedly meant well, she could be a bit overbearing at times, especially when she had the opportunity to practice her nursing skills. The weeks he’d spent recovering at the farm following his ramp strike had given him enough evidence that he did not doubt Frank’s recount. 

“No need to whisper, Frank. My hearing is just fine, thank you very much”.

He shook his head. “Of course, dear”.

They exited the airport and headed for the SUV, Trish having to almost run to keep up with Harm’s long strides. She pulled out the keyfob to unlock the rear gate so Harm could stow his bags.

“We really are glad to see you, even though it’s just to put you to work”. Frank grinned as the trio buckled in and Trish navigated the BMW out of the parking garage. “We promise we won’t work you too hard”. 

“It’s the only way I can get him out here, Frank” she glanced in the rearview mirror. “When did you come visit us last? Ten years ago?” 

He rolled his eyes in mock exasperation. “It hasn’t been that long, mom,” he chided. “It’s only been since the Spring”. 

“And where’s Sarah, that beautiful girl of yours? How come you didn’t bring her?” She paused at a crosswalk so pedestrian traffic to clear. 

“Mac’s going through some really hard stuff right now, Mom. I’d like to bring her out here one day, though. I know she’d love it, especially with all the history museums in the area”. 

Concern immediately covered Trish’s face and she glanced quickly at Frank, then Harm. “What’s wrong? She’s not sick, is she?”

From the back seat, Frank listened intently. He’d not had the opportunity to meet Mac yet, but based on the tidbits of information Harm and Trish had shared over the years, it was quite obvious she was very special to his step-son. 

“Oh no!” He was quick to correct her. “She’s okay. Well, I mean, at least physically she’s ok. It’s…it’s her uncle.”

“The one that’s at Leavenworth?”

He nodded. “Yeah. Colonel Matthew O’Hara. He was diagnosed with terminal cancer while I was investigating the mishap incident on the Patrick Henry. Mac flew out to Kansas to bring him home on hospice care”. 

A hand flew to her mouth at this information. “Oh Harm….that’s terrible. Didn’t you tell me once that he’s the only family she has?”.

Harm only nodded, unwilling to divulge much of Mac’s past to people she’d never met, even if it was his own family. He felt to do so would betray her trust, not to mention invade her privacy, and it was the last thing he wanted to do. “I’ve been doing my best to help where I can. Hospice is in there, and even though the Admiral put her on FMLA leave, she requested to work three half days a week. I think she’s wearing herself thin, but….she says it helps get her out of the apartment for a little bit.” He sighed as he glanced out at the passing scenery. “I just wish she’d let me do more”.

Trish reached across the console, patting his knee affectionately. “I know Sarah appreciates you. And I know she’s dealing with everything the only way she knows how”.   
He flashed a small smile, then changed the subject lest his mother ask more questions. “I wish I had longer to visit, but with Mac being out on FMLA, and Mattonni and Imes on temporary assignment at NAS, we’re really short-staffed. I was surprised the Admiral let me off, especially so close to the holidays”. 

“We certainly understand. I have to admit, with his shoulder being messed up, it’s been alot harder than I anticipated to get everything moved”. 

As she maneuvered the SUV onto the interstate, he took in the passing scenery with its khaki-colored beaches and leafy palm trees. Each time he came to visit, he understood more and more why they never desired to live elsewhere, despite the constant threat of earthquakes, wildfires, or hurricanes. And while he enjoyed the change of scenery, the beautiful weather, and visiting with his family, his nerves were already jumping with anticipation to get home. To her. She was his home, in so many ways. 

Fifteen minutes later, Trish pulled the SUV into their newly finished garage. Moving boxes were piled up against the far corner, and a U-HAUL ® trailer sat in the driveway, waiting to be unloaded. 

Harm took in the plethora of boxes with a sharp whistle. He definitely had his work cut out for him. “Boy, you weren’t kidding when you said you had a lot to unpack”.

“Oh honey,” Trish squeezed his shoulder as she sidled past him to a pile of boxes marked ‘kitchenware’, “that’s nothing compared to what we donated to the animal rescue thrift store or ended up tossing due to water damage. That storm really wiped us out.” She gestured towards the boxes beside her. “Most of these contain my kitchenware. I really need to get them unpacked. But let’s get you something to eat first. I’m sure you must be hungry after that long flight. Besides, I can’t get any work out of you on a empty stomach”.

With a mock groan, he followed the pair into the house, hoping he would be able to get the majority of the heavy moving done before his flight back home on Wednesday

1300 MT/PT  
Sunday  
Trish and Frank’s rental condo

The U-HAUL trailer was packed to the brim with the sectional leather couch, bookcases, and end tables from their living room. Not to mention the boxes of books, crystal wear, and family heirlooms. Trish handed Harm a cardboard box that contained her bubble-wrapped Humboldt figurines, and he carefully nestled the fragile box between the couch cushions and moving blankets. “That’s the last of the living room decorations, thank goodness. I swear, its like it breeds overnight. You wouldn’t believe all the stuff we sold or tossed at the garage sale over the summer!”

Harm wiped his sweaty brow, carefully stepping over the crowded furniture so he could exit the hot trailer. “I can believe it. If there’s one thing I’ve always dreaded with a new assignment, it’s the moving part of it,” he chuckled. With her help, he shoved the loading ramp back under the trailer bed before securing the latch on the heavy metal doors. 

“Alright young man, time to take a break”. She offered a bottle of water and a rag so he could wipe his face, and he took both with appreciation, running the towel over his sweaty hair. “You’ve been at this for five hours. Not to mention, it looks as though a storm might be joining us”. She gestured towards the dark clouds looming on the horizon, and as if on cue, the wind picked up, providing a welcoming breeze against his heated skin.   
Taking a swig from the water bottle, he wiped his face once more. “Tell you what, I’ll drive the truck over to the house and unload what I can. You’ve only got this trailer for one more day”.  
Trish shook her head in objection. “Not until you rest. I don’t need you injuring yourself, too. Besides, no sense in trying to unload while it’s raining”.   
Glancing at the gathering storm clouds, he realized it was approaching rather fast. “Yeah, hopefully it will pass quickly. And I need to check on Mac. I haven’t talked to her since I left”.  
“Sounds like a plan. Frank should have lunch ready for us. Let’s go eat!” With a smile, she locked elbows with him, escorting him back to the condo.   
Frank looked up from where he was preparing lunch at the small bar, relieved to see them come thru the door. “Perfect timing. I was just about to come get you two”. He set a plate of sandwiches and a bowl of salad on the small kitchen table, pointing out the bay window overlooking the condo’s dog park. It was almost empty, save for a few dwellers rushing their furry companions from the path of the approaching storm. “I checked the weather radar. There’s a nasty cell moving up the coast”. He gestured towards Harm as they each took a seat at the table. “It should pass rather quickly, but I don’t want you trying to manage that trailer with these winds. No sense in that. It can wait”.   
Harm grabbed the salad tongs, piling a handful of the leafy green mixture onto his plate. “I’d like to have all of your heavy furniture and boxes in the new house before I have to leave”.   
“Frank,” Trish interjected, “he’s working himself to the bone out there.”  
“Besides, your rental on the trailer is only thru tomorrow afternoon,” he pointed out, “I need to make the most of the time I have”.   
Frank gave him a stern look as he passed a bottle of bleu cheese dressing to him. “Don’t overdo it, Harm. Trish and I appreciate your help, more than you know, but we don’t want you working yourself into the ground”. He nodded at Trish. “Do you really want her on your case? I mean,” he gestured at his shoulder, “this has given her every excuse to damn near tie me to the couch”..   
“Alright, alright, I know when I’m outnumbered,” Harm laughed, holding his hands up in mock surrender.   
Following a silent, but scathing look from Trish, the three ate in companionable silence, save for the rain beating against the windows, the storm having finally arrived.   
When the food was consumed, and their appetites sated for the afternoon, Frank made a move to clear their dishes, but Trish stopped him. “Leave those for now. We can get the linen closet cleaned out while it storms. Besides,” she handed the portable handset to Harm, “he needs to call Sarah and check on them”.   
Frank set the plates down, “Alright dear”. He wrapped his good arm around her as they turned to exit the kitchen. Trish paused momentarily, calling over her shoulder, “Give our love to Sarah, please. Let her know we’re thinking about her and look forward to her visiting soon”.   
Harm acknowledged her request, waiting for them to disappear down the hall before dialing a number he knew as well as his social security digits.   
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX  
1630 MT/ET (Eastern Time)  
Mac’s Apartment  
Georgetown, VA  
Startled awake by the repetitive noise of a ringing phone, and a little disoriented, Mac clumsily reached for the handset but inadvertently knocked it off its base, sending it clattering to the rug covered floor.  
Harm heard a soft thud, followed by a muffled curse before her fuddled voice came across the line. He couldn’t help but chuckle at the unladylike profanity, especially given the very soft, feminine quality her voice held when she was sleepy.   
“‘ello?”  
“Hey ninjagirl, you okay?”   
She was quite exhausted, but his familiar timber helped rouse her a little more. She checked her internal clock; it was 1630, which meant it was only 1330 on the West Coast. Shouldn’t he be in the middle of moving furniture?   
“Harm?”   
“Yeah, it’s me. Expecting someone else, were you?” he teased, leaning against the window-frame while he watched the rain continue to come in sheets. ”Did I catch a Marine off-guard?”  
Mac stifled a yawn, shoving the blanket to the side. She shifted herself to the edge of the couch, casting a furtive glance at Matthew, who remained asleep. Sighing with relief, she was grateful her clumsiness had not woken him. After violently throwing up until mid-morning, he needed the rest. Scrubbing her eyes, she wrapped the blanket around herself before padding to the kitchen to make coffee. As she slid the pocket door open,a blast of frigid air immediately greeted her, making her shiver.   
‘At least the beverage would be hot!’ she thought. She set out to quickly brew a pot, eager to spend as little time in the cold room as possible.   
There had been a power surge early Saturday morning, blowing out several of the heating units in the far east wing of the complex, which of course, just happened to include hers. She’d been without heat since, but despite explaining her uncle’s medical situation, the apartment manager stated the repairman was swamped and could not provide a definitive timeframe of when her unit would be repaired. Fortunately, she kept a small space heater stowed in the linen closet. She had brought it out and set it beside her uncle’s bed so he would stay warm. In an effort to keep the heat contained to the living room, all non-essential rooms were closed off, including the kitchen. 

“How’s it going at your parents?” She corrected herself, “I mean, your mom and Franks?”

“We’ve got two rooms moved so far. I had the U-Haul loaded to take the living room furniture over there, but a storm popped up. I’m just waiting it out right now”. He absentmindedly watched the gusty winds churn the ocean water just beyond the dog park. “I thought I’d check in. You doing alright?”  
Mac paused, switching out the carafe the moment the golden liquid reached the brim of her cup. She was too cold to wait for the pot to fill up, so she had placed her mug under the spigot so it would fill first. A few drops fell on the hot plate, crawling across the surface before disappearing into a sizzle.   
She wavered between telling him everything, or keeping the facts limited. She knew if she wasn’t careful, Harm wouldn’t hesitate to take the next flight out, which is what she certainly did not want. Frank and Trish were on a pressing timeline, and they needed his help. But, she also knew Harm was extremely perceptive when it came to her. Eager to escape the freezing confines of the kitchen, she forewent the usual pack of sugar and slipped quietly back into the living room. “We’re making it. He um...had a rough night”. She opted for a little bit of truth. “And the heating went out in the apartment. But we’re fine, I promise”. 

The fatigue in her voice immediately had him concerned. “Mac? Did hospice not come? And what’s going on with your heat? How are you staying warm?”

She chuckled quietly. “Cool your jet engines, flyboy. The nurse came out within an hour of me calling. It took awhile, but we were finally able to get him relief. It’s just part of the situation. They told me to expect this as the disease progressed”. Mac settled herself back on the couch, tucking her lithe frame underneath the thick blanket. She took a sip of the steaming beverage. “And, in regards to heat, we had a power surge. Most of the units on my end were blown out. I’m not sure when the repairman will get here. I’m using a space heater for the time being. Taking another sip, she attempted to divert his attention. “Have you been able to get to the beach? I would be lying if I said I wasn’t envious of you getting to sink your toes in the sand”. 

“Not yet,” he rolled his eyes. ‘Typical Mac, always trying to be tough’. “But don’t change the subject. I’m 3,000 miles away, but I can be home in just a few hours”.  
Mac sighed. “This is why I didn’t want to say anything. You don’t need to worry, we’re fine, I promise”. 

“You keep saying that, but I’m not convinced. How many space heaters do you have? One can’t possibly keep that apartment warm”. 

She blew out a breath, and, under his persistent questioning, she relented. “One. But I’ve got it set beside him so he’s not cold”. 

“One!? Mac, your living room is huge. You’ve got to be freezing!”. He shook his head,racking his brain for a solution. “This not acceptable. At all.” 

“Harm, don’t worry. I’m a Marine. I’ve slept in worse situations, believe me”. 

“This isn’t the battlefront nor are you in combat” he pointed out. “Look, give me a minute to figure out something. You don’t need to be sleeping in freezing temperatures”. He gripped the window frame in frustration. 

‘Do her hardships ever end?’ 

At the sound of Matthew muttering in his sleep, Mac was forced to cut their conversation short. “Harm, I’m really sorry, but I gotta let you go. He’s starting to wake up. I need to get his evening medications ready. I’ll check in with you later, okay? Please don’t worry, I’ll be fine”. She emphasized the last words even though she felt anything but fine. Just the sound of his voice was enough to make her heart ache with need. 

There was a long pause, and Mac knew his brow was furrowed in concentration, as it so often was when he was faced with a challenging situation.   
Harm rubbed his chin in thought, staring out at the storm that continued to rage just beyond the window. Despite being 3,000 miles away, there had to be something he could do. “Alright ninjagirl, but if I don’t hear from you by 1000, I’m calling you.”

Her voice took on a teasing edge. “1000 is kind of early for you, don’t you squids need your beauty rest?”

Harm shook his head, a grin crossing his face at her remark. Their banter was something he certainly missed on the days she wasn’t in the office. “That’s 1000 for you, jarhead. I thought I’d give you a little extra time to get prepared. You know, since you Marines take forever”. 

She sighed theatrically, though the teasing was evident in her voice. “I would have thought being partnered with me all these years, you would know by now that I stay prepared. We sure can’t depend on you Navy men for anything. You leave when the going gets tough. Or did you forget?” 

‘All these years......….’

Her words echoed in his head, causing his heart to squeeze in regret at how many chances they’d been given. How many opportunities he’d wasted, how much time he’d wasted on other people, on excuses…always thinking that time stood still for them. Yet all the while, he knew better. 

‘We can’t depend on you Navy men….leave when the going gets tough…..’

Was her comment a hidden message? Was it more than just a teasing jab at the Navy in general, an easy target for their playful, comfortable camaraderie? He’d helped with Matthew’s care whenever he could, but at the end of the day, he realized the burden of his care ultimately fell to her. 

Irritated, Harm didn’t know what he hated the most in that very moment: the fact he was more than two time zones away from her, or that he felt he was undependable. 

“Harm, you still there?”

Her apprehensive voice nudged him out of his brooding. “Yeah,” he paused, biting his lip in contemplation, “I’m still here. Just thinking, that’s all”. 

She calmed the anxiety that preoccupied his mind. “Harm, I’m ok. I’m not going anywhere. Not now, not ever”. 

There it was, again. Her uncanny, and sometimes, unnerving ability to read his thoughts...even across a telephone line that connected them from thousand of miles away. 

“Me either, Sarah,” he sighed, dropping his head against the forearm that rested on the window-frame, “me either”. 

She felt the tears spring to her eyes at his use of her given name, and she struggled to control her wavering voice. “Goodnight, Harm”. 

“Goodnight, Sarah. Sweet dreams”. 

The line disconnected them, leaving him feeling infinitely worse than before. A few moments passed while he studiously racked his brain for a workable solution to get heat to her. He knew Mac would sacrifice her own comfort to ensure those she cared about were taken care of. He also knew the temperatures in Virginia this time of year tended to hover dangerously above the freezing mark. In her explanation of the situation, she did not seem very optimistic that the heat would be repaired before the following morning. 

‘Come on, Rabb! Think! You’ve flown hundreds of challenging missions, surely there’s a way to solve this problem! There has to be a way to bring heat to her apartment’ he lectured himself, his eyes scanning the horizon as though the solution would be found there. 

She had a key to his apartment and could stay there if it was just her, but there was Matthew to consider, and naturally, he took priority. Moving him was completely out of the option. Not only would he not have his hospital bed, he was in such a weakened state that he was afraid Mac would hurt herself trying to handle him.  
He briefly considered suggesting they stay the night with one of her neighbors, but then realized she’d stated her entire side of the complex was without heat. Furthermore, she did not know any of her neighbors on the bottom levels, and Harm did not want them staying with complete strangers. 

After another long moment spent racking his brain, an idea popped into his head, and he snatched up the phone to make another call. He tapped his foot impatiently while it rang on the other end. 

Harm breathed a sigh of relief when a familiar voice rumbled over the line after the third ring. 

‘Thank God for the small things!’  
“Hey, I know I’ve been asking for a lot of favors lately, but I need to send you on a really important mission....”

2100 MT/ET (Eastern Time)  
Mac’s Apartment  
Georgetown, VA

Matthew dozed off and on, the substantial increase in medications taking time to regulate his system. He’d not eaten anything all day, but as Mac found it increasingly difficult to get him to stay awake long enough to even take his medications, let alone eat, she’d decided to leave him be.   
Perusing the tv channels, she settled upon a documentary on WWII, listening to the narrator provide a play-by-play on the major battles. A long-time history buff, she was quickly ensconced in numerous tales of harrowing maneuvers, unprecedented acts of heroism, and a nation’s utter commitment to unconditional defeat against a myriad of enemies. So engrossed in the documentary, she was fairly startled when a soft knock sounded at the door. A puzzled expression crossed her face. Hospice had been by to visit earlier in the day, and the repairman had not called. It was impossible for Harm to have been able to get back in the three hours since she’d talked to him…

She quickly went to the door to check the security lens, thoroughly confused to find two familiar people patiently waiting. She immediately wretched the door open, unable to mask her surprise. 

“Sturgis? Harriet? What are you doing here? Is everything ok?”

He was the first to speak. “Hope we’re not bothering you, Mac, but Harriet and I had a few things we needed to drop off”.

In one hand, Harriet held a casserole dish; in her other, a cloth shopping bag full of what appeared to be groceries. Two tall boxes stood between them.  
Keeping her voice low so as not to wake Matthew, she quietly gestured them inside. “You are certainly not bothering me, come on in”. She propped the door open with one foot and helped Sturgis drag the boxes across the threshold. 

“Harm called me about your heating situation. I went by the hardware store to pick up some space heaters, and Harriet made her shepherd’s pie”.   
“I remember how much you liked it when I made it for the potluck dinner a few months ago,” Harriet explained. “And of course, it’s always a hit with the boys. They said to send you their love”. 

Mac sought to relieve her of the dish and bag. “Thank you Harriet, I was actually wondering what I was going to do about dinner. I’m low on groceries, but he’s been so sick that I really don’t want to leave him alone. Plus, I don’t know when the repairman will come by to fix the unit”. 

Sturgis began unboxing the first heater, surveying the apartment to see where it was needed the most. 

She gestured towards her bedroom. “I’ve had to close off all non-essential areas to keep the heat in. My bathroom is the one hospice uses for Uncle Matt”. 

He promptly sat off in the direction of her room, the cold draft washing over him the moment he broke the seal on the door. Shaking his head with dismay, he frowned. “Mac, it’s freezing in here. You should have called me. I would have come immediately”. 

“I know, but you guys are busy with your own lives,” she shrugged in apology, “I didn’t want to bother anyone”. 

Harriet stepped beside her and wrapped her arm around her shoulder. “Mac, you’re NEVER a bother to anyone. We want to help. That’s what family is for”.

Reaching up to squeeze her hand, Mac offered a grateful smile. “Thank you Harriet. You guys are one in a million”. Her friend’s thoughtfulness nearly brought tears to her eyes. She was a lucky woman, indeed, to have people around her that cared so much. 

Sturgis emerged from the bedroom where’d he set the heater. “These heaters have a thermostat, so when it hits 70 degrees, it will shut off and turn back on when the temperature drops. It should keep the room comfortable”. He unboxed the second heater, looking at her for direction on where to place it. 

“That one would probably do best in front of the kitchen. I have to go in there several times a day to prepare his medication regime. Plus, I don’t need the pipes to freeze”.   
He nodded and set off for the kitchen.   
Harriet began to unpack the groceries on the dining table, which Mac noticed with an element of curiosity, were many of her comfort foods: vanilla yogurt, blueberries, hot chocolate, and breakfast biscuits. There was only one person who would know this information....

“Harm sent this; said since he can’t go get them himself, he’d ask us to”. Harriet answered her unasked question. “He wanted you to know he cares, Mac”.   
Tears threatened to well up in her eyes at this, and she averted her gaze while she hastily swiped at them. She was embarrassed for them to see her cry.  
“Thank you Harriet, Sturgis” her voice trembling slightly with emotion. “I mean it”. 

Harriet framed her shoulders, looking her in the eyes. “No need to thank us. We love you, Mac. And so does Harm”. She smiled, bringing her in for a tight hug. “Now, I’m going to put the casserole in the oven to heat, so if you’ll give it about thirty minutes, it should be hot enough to eat”. 

She realized, with a frown, that she hadn’t had anything substantial since her date with Harm on Friday. “I must admit I’m pretty hungry. And you are an excellent cook”. Despite the anxiety that had plagued her since Harm’s departure, leaving her stomach in knots and without much of an appetite, the thought of Harriet’s delicious casserole made her mouth water. 

Walking them to the door, Mac realized she had never felt so much a part of a family as she did in that singular moment. The very fact that her friends would drop what they were doing help her meant more than she could ever express. 

“Harm gave us strict instructions to tell you, if you need ANYTHING at all, you are to call us immediately. Is that understood?” Sturgis pulled on his gloves as he spoke, giving her a look that made no room for arguments. 

A smile stole across her face, and she nodded. “Perfectly. Thank you both, again, for everything”. 

“Anytime. I’ll be calling in a report shortly to update him on the status of the mission”. 

With a laugh, Mac asked, “And what mission was that?”

Sturgis looked over his shoulder as the pair set out for the elevator. “Operation Family”. 

A moment of silence passed. Mac swallowed the lump that suddenly jumped in her throat. “Please inform him that Operation Family was a success”. 

Sturgis tipped his head in acknowledgement, stepping into the elevator. “Will do Mac. This was one mission I’m glad I was assigned. It was worth it”.

As the elevator doors closed behind them, she realized, with a sense of profound understanding, that she was home. And not just in the physical sense. The feel of belonging and family she’d searched for her entire life had been parked right under her nose. She’d just been too blind to notice! Wiping the tears from her eyes, she sent a prayer of profound thanks to the Universe. 

Maybe it wasn’t going to be such a long weekend after all. 

1845 MT/PT   
Sunday  
The Burnette’s Rental Condo  
La Jolla, CA

As he lounged against the deck railing of the deck, the late afternoon breeze ruffled Harm’s hair, providing a welcomed relief from the lingering heat of the sun. Sturgis had called him a few minutes prior, informing him the mission was a success. He’d also confirmed that except for the area around Matthew’s bed, the apartment was freezing, and Mac’s cupboards were fairly absent of any substantial food goods. While he was relieved to hear all was well, he was left increasingly frustrated. He knew Frank couldn’t help his injury, and he certainly was not upset with him. He was just upset with life itself. It was as if it was doing everything it could think of to keep them apart while piling more problems on Mac.

Raking a hand over his face, Harm allowed his attention wander to a couple that walked the shoreline, swinging their small child between them. Although several yards in distance, it was clear, from their body language, they were enjoying themselves. The father picked the boy up and threw him gaily into the air, before setting him gently on his feet. The little boy shrieked with glee as he took off running, his haphazard movements kicking up small tufts of sand. In his wake, they were quickly smoothed over with the changing tide, and he zigzagged in and out of the encroaching water. The mother, undeniably well into her pregnancy, left the task of pursuit of the boy to the father. She rubbed her belly while maintaining a slow pace behind them, occasionally waving at her son whenever he would turn to survey the stretch of distance between them. 

Harm’s heart clenched at the scene playing out in front of him……oh what he wouldn’t give to be that man, with Mac walking beside him, their child between them and another growing in her belly. They’d made a promise three years prior, a bet, that if neither were involved in a relationship five years from that point, they would go halves on a kid. Only three years had passed, but to Harm, it was a lifetime. With the admission to himself of his love for Sarah, the two years remaining on their self-imposed timeline seemed like an eternity. If there even was an eternity with her in it.

Many sleepless nights (he’d lost count as to the number, really) were spent with his thoughts centered upon her, and only her. His dreams centered upon how it would feel to hold her in his arms just as he did that night in the Afghan desert...how it would feel to cradle her face in his hands as he poured every bit of his heart and soul into making beautiful love with her…how much better he would sleep knowing she was there to see him through his nightmares, his fears, his restless thoughts…through it all. He would wake with such a profound sense of heartache and longing that it was all he could do to keep from ripping the phone from its cradle to phone her. Or worse: drive over to her apartment and beat on the door until she woke up. Nine out of ten times he was able to stop himself in time, only because he’d realized it was, quite literally, the middle of the night. The other singular time he’d managed to talk some sense into his brain….but only after he’d found himself standing in front of her dark apartment, hand poised to knock. With a sense of disbelief washing over him, he’d returned to the car, beleaguered as to how he’d arrived there in the first place. The following mornings always found him subsequently with a restless disposition, but despite this, he managed to convince everyone that he had it together. Tough, sensible, grounded Harmon Rabb, Jr had it together. Yet, his peers remained blissfully unaware his resolve, as well as his tenacity, were hanging by the thinnest of threads. He’d convinced himself that he was in control. He had a grip on reality. His emotions. And all of it was one big, dirty lie. 

And then he would sit across from her at staff call. Her presence would once again test his resolve. He’d see her brown eyes furrowed in concentration, smell her perfume when it wafted over him, hear her laugh at some joke or funny story that Harriet would share about their godson. He’d find his control slipping; found himself wrapped up yet again, in thoughts of her and their children. Ah, yes, children. Children, in the plural sense, because creating just one beautiful, precious life with her would not be enough. It could never be enough. Although the topic of children had never been discussed at length (aside from little AJ’s day of birth), he’d suspected she shared his sentiments to have more than one, especially since they grew up as only children. Besides, he’d tease, they had to have one of each: one with her looks and his brains, and one with his looks, and her brains. And then one with all four, of course, because neither of them were gracious losers. 

‘I’d give anything to trade places with that man’. 

The longing ran thru his body like a jolt of electricity, searing every fiber with unrelenting anguish. It seized his heart in a vice-like grip that nearly choked the life out of it.

So caught up in his thoughts of her and what their life could be like, he failed to notice his mother slip out onto the deck. She observed him quietly, noting the slump of his shoulders, as though some invisible weight rested on them. It was the tale-tell sign of resignation she had come to know so well over the years. He was her son, after all, and she always knew when her child was hurting. 

When several long moments passed without him acknowledging her, she quietly made her presence known. 

“Care if I join you, Harm?” 

Her voice broke into his thoughts, causing him to jerk his head up at the unexpected intrusion. Shifting a few paces to the right, he flashed a rather subdued smile, then gestured towards the now-empty space. “No, not at all, mom”. 

She stepped beside him, leaning her head against his bicep. “Pretty peaceful out here, isn’t it?”

The small family had paused their stroll so the boy could throw, presumably a starfish, back into the ocean. The husband reached out to tug his pregnant wife closer. The three turned their backs to their audience to take in the setting sun. 

“Yeah, it sure is. I really wish I could get out here more often. But with my job,….” he paused, biting his lip in restrained frustration, “I feel like all I ever do is go to work or go TDY on an investigation, and come home. Wash, rinse, repeat”. 

Something in his voice pricked Trish’s maternal instincts. She lifted her head to regard her son with careful scrutiny. Ever since he’d arrived, he’d not been himself, as though his mind and body were in two different places. He seemed different….restless. Despite her son’s tendency to keep his personal thoughts buried under miles of red tape, ‘need to know’ classification, it could not prevent her maternal intuition from surfacing. Following his phone call to Mac that afternoon, his restlessness only seemed to increase, and as such, Trish had a pretty fair idea as to the cause. 

“You don’t sound happy, Harm. What is it? Do you not like your job anymore?”

“Ohhh it’s not the job. I love what I do, Mom, don’t get me wrong. And I know I’m really lucky to be where I am in my career. It’s just…..” he trailed off, unable to articulate what he was feeling in his heart. Despite his commanding presence and incredible orator abilities in the courtroom, when it came to her, his words and wits scattered to the wind, leaving him stumbling like a wayward fool into the abyss. His eyes remained transfixed on the little family, watching as the little boy hugged his mother’s leg. The father leaned in to give her a soft kiss, lovingly covering her hand where it lay against her swollen belly. The ache to have what he so desperately wanted was so strong it threatened to overwhelm him before he could get a handle on his emotions.

Trish, seeing her son’s attention focused elsewhere, followed his gaze to where the family remained on the beach. And it was then that a profound sense of understanding dawned upon her. The desperation written so clearly in his expressions cut her to the core. As his mother, the very woman who’d carried him for nine months, experienced deep, seething pain to bring him into this world, she could not keep her heart from breaking for him. She laid a gentle hand on his arm. Her voice trembled softly when she finally spoke. 

“It’s not out of reach, baby. All you have to do is take the first step”.

“I know.” He scuffed his shoe against the railing, the two words scattering like sand into the wind shifting between them. He felt every man Mac had been with had either taken advantage of her, used her, or hurt her, and he didn’t want to be just another man to add more chinks to an already fractured heart. Over the course of the previous weeks, he’d felt that, for the first time, they were on solid ground. Together. 

“I don’t want to rush her, Mom. She deserves better. She deserves so much better than what I can give”. His gaze remained fixated on the scene before them. “But at the same time, I want that. With her”. He motioned towards the family that had begun to walk towards the opposite end of the beach, “Before I’m too old to enjoy it. Before it’s too late. And I feel like our chance is slipping away”. A look of anguish, as angry as the storm that had come just hours prior, swirled deep within his eyes. “Am I selfish?”. 

She gently framed his face, bringing his eyes level with hers. “Any man who loves a woman and wants to be with her, wants to love her, heart and soul, for who she is inside...can never be considered ‘selfish’. And you’re never too old to enjoy real, true love”. She paused with retrospect. “Do you know how old I was I when I met Frank?”

The question caught him by surprise, and his brow furrowed in contemplation. “I’m not sure, Mom. I guess,” he shrugged, “I guess I really never thought about it”. 

“I was 33. You had just turned ten. After losing your father,” Trish’s voice trembled, and she glanced towards the setting horizon, “I thought I would never find someone to love again, let alone someone who would love me like he did. I was afraid, too, that no man would be interested in a ‘plus-one’”. She turned back to face him, a smile lighting up her eyes. “But boy was I wrong!” She caressed his brow, as she’d done so many times when he was little. “Harm, I really do believe that if something is meant to be, the universe will wait until that person is ready, no matter how long it takes”. 

Harm shook his head in disbelief. “Strange that you say that, Mom. Sturgis told me almost the exact same thing just a few weeks ago”.

With a sly grin, she gently nudged him in the ribs. “Well, don’t you think that maybe fate is trying to tell you something? Or is that Rabb stubbornness hanging on for dear life?”

Her comment earned a quiet laugh from him, and he wrapped an arm around her shoulder. “I’m listening, believe me, Mom. But, at least I come by my stubbornness honestly”.  
“That you do, sweetheart. That you do.” She squeezed him in affection, then steered him towards the patio door. “Now, let’s get some dinner. Frank has cooked an excellent shrimp etouffee. You’re going to love it”. 

As she stepped ahead of him into the condo, he glanced over his shoulder once more, at the family that had all but disappeared from his sight. 

‘Sarah, just wait on me. Our time is coming, I promise’.  
::END Chapter 11::


End file.
